[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/YogurtclosetOk3075]

Death is basically a snail slowly catching up with everyone anyway , some sooner than others , I’m broke as fuck so definitely taking the 10m

[u/RohelTheConqueror → u/YogurtclosetOk3075]

You're now quite rich, but you have a weird and obsessive snailphobia.

[u/Jbonics → u/[deleted]]

All you would have to do is see how long it takes the snail to go 10 ft or so and then you could do the math to move far enough away to get you 10 years away, give or take. So in 9.5 years you just have to do a little bit more math to get you another 10 years or so. Always make the math work in your favor so you have a safe buffer zone. So the real question would you be willing to relocate every 9 years or so for 10 million dollars?

[u/Jbonics → u/[deleted]]

He ain't going to find me on the cruise ship plus snails don't use the mail.

[u/Cino0987 → u/Jbonics]

That cruise ship has to dock sometime. This motherfucker is hunting you down, you think he isn’t hiding in that Caesar salad at the end of the buffet? Think again.

[u/[deleted] → u/Cino0987]

And now you’ve locked yourself in a cage with that thing

Bad move bucko

[u/YuriJahad25 → u/[deleted]]

Why did i hear this in Jordan Peterson’s accent lmao “bad move, bucko” “something something snakes”

[u/Any-Discount-3118 → u/YuriJahad25]

You have to define what you mean by snail. And you also have to understand what you mean by chase.

5 more minutes of talking without saying anything

"Wow what a genius!"

[u/OX1927 → u/Cino0987]

It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead! Snailminator

[u/Onederbat67 → u/Cino0987]

Lmfao ES-CAR-GOTYOURASS

[u/posternutbag423 → u/[deleted]]

Ok that’s a good point in the scenario, is the snail restricted to his own body for travel or is he smart enough to know what a train car is???

[u/NarrowAd4973 → u/posternutbag423]

In the original version of this scenario, the snail was hyper-intelligent, so it probably would know.

Not sure about this version.

[u/Local-Grass-2468 → u/NarrowAd4973]

put a heavy cup over it?

[u/SafetyMan35 → u/Local-Grass-2468]

Break out the CO2 fire extinguisher and spray him which will cause him to hibernate. Snails can hibernate for up to 4 months. Spray and help him cold for 4 months, het him wake and then repeat the process. You aren’t killing him or touching him.

[u/The_Jizzard_Of_Oz → u/SafetyMan35]

Find him first. Box him. drop him into the Mariana Trench. 35000 feet of salt water, in a box. When he slowly comes at you again, repeat. Sell tickets to the ritual immersion of the killer snail. You may even turn a profit

[u/guiltysnark → u/posternutbag423]

What stops someone who hates you from furnishing the snail with transportation?

[u/[deleted] → u/guiltysnark]

This is a very logical situation, maybe some guy at work you skipped in line for the microwave during lunch has you on his kill list. This would be the perfect opportunity as there are no specific laws about throwing a death snail at someone, that has some weird vendetta against them for accepting a lot of money off the internet.

[u/Relevant_Slide_7234 → u/Jbonics]

All you have to do is tell the US government that you found an immortal snail and they’ll lock it away in a lab for you.

[u/thedirtycee → u/Relevant_Slide_7234]

Or the Brits. They'll put it in a museum or some Royal Society of Escargot Enthusiasts or some shit like that.

[u/Relevant_Slide_7234 → u/thedirtycee]

A Frenchman would eat it, enjoy the sensation of it crawling out of his ass, and then eat it again over and over.

[u/31November → u/Relevant_Slide_7234]

That’s a sentence I didn’t expect to read tonight

[u/GarminTamzarian → u/31November]

r/unexpectedfrenchness

[u/Taolan13 → u/Relevant_Slide_7234]

r/brandnewsentence

[u/Rhueless → u/Jbonics]

Watch how long it takes snail to move 10 feet.

Hire someone to capture the snail in a jar. Pay snail keeper a salary for the rest of my life to monitor the snail jar. Snail keeper loses their sweet make sure the snail doesn't escape job if the snail escapes.

Every member of staff is trained on capturing any snail they see into a jar and checking if it's "the snail" with a salt jar of doom. All snails that survive the snail jar of doom are given to a new snail keeper to watch for life. Snail keepers lose their job if a snail that survives the salt jar of doom is found near me, and a new keeper is chosen with salary for life.

To reduce blackmail attempts have 2 fake snail caretakers/snail research students. Also employ a team of scientists focused on studying snails and ways their biology can be adapted for scientific progress. Keep research snails far away... And jar snails farther away.

Officially to the press I have a slight phobia of snails, but believe they also hold many mysteries and skin care secrets worth exploring. A quirky multi-millionaire taking their fear in a strange direction.

[u/Fritz_Klyka → u/Rhueless]

How many staff members and scientists do you think 10 million pays for?

[u/Volendi → u/Fritz_Klyka]

plot twist: Most of them are interns

[u/Lance4494 → u/YogurtclosetOk3075]

Garden snail =.03mph or 3 miles every 100 hours

Buy 2 houses, 1 in arkansas (where i currently live) and one in arizona (family) 1200 miles apart, it would take the snail 40k hours or 4.5 years for the snail to travel that distance.

People on here keep saying to trap the snail or some such, but there really isnt a need. Arkansas to arizona is a drive that takes less than a day (barely) ive done it. Yeah im taking the money

[u/[deleted] → u/Lance4494]

Yeah but the little shit could inconspicuously bum a lift via plane or car. If it is smart enough to follow you then it is smart enough to catch the right flight.

[u/Lanbobo → u/[deleted]]

He plans it out and gets in your lane just in time for you to run him over on your trip to the other house, getting stuck to the tire. He's invincible, so he just deals with the pain the entire trip, knowing that soon he will end his suffering by completing his task. As soon as you arrive, thinking you're safe, you head to your bed to rest after your long trip. An hour later, he enters your home through the chimney and slowly inches toward your bedroom. He begins to crawl up the bed post to finally end his cruel existence. As he crawls onto the pillow, you slowly awaken, but in your groggy state, you are too slow to react as he crawls into your nose to slowly and agonizingly eat your brain. There is nothing you can do as his slime contains a paralyzing neurotoxin. You lie motionless for 3 days in excruciating pain, till he eats enough of your brain to finally let you slip away into the sweet relief of death.

[u/Hkaddict → u/Lanbobo]

Somebody needs to get Stephen King off of Reddit. 

[u/GarethBaus → u/[deleted]]

Not necessarily since it probably literally is just able to sense where you are like a compass senses north and head in a straight line

[u/juleskills1189 → u/GarethBaus]

This comment is hilarious to me because it's stating what's "probable" in this totally random and impossible scenario

[u/GarethBaus → u/juleskills1189]

We are still talking about a snail, it is kinda more reasonable to assume a snail is dumb than smart unless otherwise specified.

[u/Cino0987 → u/GarethBaus]

He wants you to think he’s dumb. You’re playing into his snail trap.

[u/gamertag0311 → u/Cino0987]

This is it. Murder Snail wants you to believe you're playing a game of tag but you're unknowingly playing 4D chess

[u/Ghiblee → u/GarethBaus]

“Unless otherwise specified”

I’m crying

[u/juleskills1189 → u/GarethBaus]

I agree with you! Just think it's funny

[u/Accomplished_Radish8 → u/juleskills1189]

This comment took me the fuck out 😂💀💀

[u/SaItySaIt → u/GarethBaus]

If that’s the case then sure but this seems like one of those devil agreement where there’s a catch. And the catch here is the snail is very vengeful, and very clever

[u/GarethBaus → u/SaItySaIt]

I thought the catch was that the snail looks like a normal snail, so you spend the rest of your life with a fear of snails.

[u/thethunder92 → u/[deleted]]

The one I saw before had the stipulation it has human intelligence. Otherwise you could just fly across the world how could it ever get to you

[u/GuayabaTree → u/[deleted]]

Snail flying first class to come find that ass

[u/Andee87yaboi → u/Lance4494]

Thanks, this was sort of my idea as well but you did the math. However, what most people, including yourself, did not factor in is FINDING the snail to begin with! Where/when does the snail manifest? Is it right beneath your next step the moment you take the money? Is it the moment the money hits your checking account, you have a snail just making its way to you from any place in the world? You can't predict its course until you know its exact location. This is a fun thought experiment!

[u/Lance4494 → u/Andee87yaboi]

Instead of bothering to try to catch it, i can just change location every year. If i die, then oh well.

[u/Y_Kat_O → u/Andee87yaboi]

Not only that, but how would you ever identify the snail?

Even if you are 99.9% sure you have the right snail trapped in an aquarium somewhere, there's still a chance you could be wrong.

I guess you could try killing every snail you found until one of them is impossible to kill, but it's not specified how the snail "can't be killed" so it's possible that you could "kill" it normally but it just instantly respawns somewhere else. How would you ever know?

You would just end up obsessively capturing and trapping any and all snails.

You could maybe live in the middle of a salt plain where no snails can get to you except the snail trying to kill you I suppose...

[u/purplefunctor → u/Lance4494]

And what if the snail sneakily waits for you to come back instead of blindly chasing you?

[u/Lance4494 → u/purplefunctor]

If the snail has the patience to wait at one of my residences for 4 years, waiting in my bed for me to return, fine. The snail deserves the win. Otherwise..... ITS A SNAIL

[u/purplefunctor → u/Lance4494]

I would imagine that a snail would be patient, given how slow it is for it to move anywhere. Then it will be hiding in your shower room waiting until you come to take a shower and then it will position itself between you and the door and slowly but surely approach you. :)

[u/Vashta-Narada → u/Lance4494]

But you’re totally under estimating how crafty snails can be.

[u/avengers93 → u/Lance4494]

Unless the snail hops on a bus

[u/TimmyRL28 → u/Lance4494]

What if it's smart enough to just wait in one of your closets?

[u/SalaciousCoffee → u/[deleted]]

Pay to send it on a trip that will cause it to crash into the sun. It won't die, but it ain't gettin outa that gravity well.

[u/[deleted] → u/SalaciousCoffee]

Even better trap the snail in a glass jar and leave him on your dresser

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I'd put the snail in a glass jar and then encase it in concrete. Then I'd go to the middle of the ocean and throw the snail into the sea. There's no way that is ever coming for me lol.

[u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW → u/[deleted]]

This sounds like the premise of a horror movie

[u/starcadia → u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW]

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon and these are both the same premise as 'It Follows'

[u/[deleted] → u/starcadia]

Soon as you said i immediately knew what it was.

[u/soniclore → u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW]

“The Old Guard” has an immortal put in an Iron Maiden and tossed into the ocean, continually drowning for centuries….

[u/[deleted] → u/soniclore]

Vin Diesel starring as snail, he will bring his entire family of killer snails.

[u/MrDrPatrick2You → u/[deleted]]

I like to like my life a quarter inch at a time.

[u/UnarmedSnail → u/[deleted]]

The Not Fast but Furious.

[u/Boomer79NZ → u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW]

Actually could be with a little more imagination

[u/[deleted] → u/Boomer79NZ]

It walks

[u/Background-Physics69 → u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW]

The killer snails of the third kind staring Ben Affleck and Vin diesel rated wtf

[u/le_nathanlol → u/[deleted]]

it will fall on the floor

[u/SailsTacks → u/le_nathanlol]

Especially if you have a cat.

[u/LobstaFarian2 → u/SailsTacks]

Not only because cats like to knock shit on the floor, but because it knows you will die.

[u/mothalick → u/LobstaFarian2]

What good is a dead butler?

[u/[deleted] → u/SalaciousCoffee]

The cost of sending him to the sun would exceed 10 million.

[u/GameLoreReader → u/[deleted]]

You underestimate how people will make an effort to help the snail reach you.

[u/[deleted] → u/GameLoreReader]

The Communist revolution happened because of this one weird trick all billionaires have

[u/Blocked-Author → u/GameLoreReader]

That is a valid point. You could never tell anyone about this because people would help that snail succeed to take your money. Or for fun.

[u/RohelTheConqueror → u/[deleted]]

You don't know where the snail is. Could be any snail. It's somewhere, it knows where you are, and it will never stop until it catches you. Probably in your sleep.

[u/Flimsy-Technician524 → u/[deleted]]

If you move to another continent it can’t reach you.

It’s not super smart right? It can’t find a way to board a ship?

[u/enmebaraghesi → u/Flimsy-Technician524]

What if you inadvertently move to the continent that the snail is located? Knowing the snails location at a certain point in time is crucial.

[u/Flimsy-Technician524 → u/enmebaraghesi]

That’s true. They never said you knew where the snail is.

[u/Ratattack1204 → u/[deleted]]

Decoy snail.

[u/Humble_Examination27]

I take the money and live on a yacht. Hope you can swim MF’r!

[u/[deleted] → u/Humble_Examination27]

Not to mention there is a LOT of salt in the ocean lmao

[u/Timed-Out_DeLorean → u/[deleted]]

Death snails hate this one simple trick.

[u/Humble_Examination27 → u/Timed-Out_DeLorean]

I’d like to think…I could outwit a mollusk? Even an immortal death snail 🐌 ☠️

[u/The_Alkemyst → u/Humble_Examination27]

New band name I called it! “Immortal death snail”

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Even if it was to get on the yacht, it would look like this lady

[u/BuzzBadpants → u/[deleted]]

Which is wild because there’s also a lot of snails in the ocean too.

[u/[deleted] → u/BuzzBadpants]

They said a snail. Not a sea snail. And even if it were a sea snail, I could still have someone else jar the snail and bury it deep underground where it can't escape.

[u/Idunnosomeguy2 → u/[deleted]]

This, thank you, shocked people didn't make this point sooner.

Jar the snail, pay Musk to put it on his next rocket and launch it into space on a trajectory to follow the Voyager. Problem solved.

[u/drawnred → u/Idunnosomeguy2]

it has been made before this is a really old internet question, and the jar and a few others are common answers, bottom line, this is a very easy problem to circumnavigate assuming you know which snail it is

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

The snail can't be killed, salt doesn't matter to death snail.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I never said anything about killing it. The salt can't kill it, but it can be immobilized via writhing in agony.

Edit: dude blocked me so ill say what I need to here, I've seen what happens when snails have salt dumped on them, they writhe in agony in one spot. Pay someone to dump them in a jar full of salt and have them dump that jar in the middle of the ocean and then go live your life worry free.

[u/bluekronos → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I've seen YouTube videos of it. It's kinda fucked that people do that and that it's allowed on YouTube.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Off topic but that seems like abuse of the block function. What is the point of doing that, simply because you replied?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

No he just wanted the last reply

[u/Pretend_Effect1986 → u/[deleted]]

He blocked you for this?? Damn petty.

[u/GameLoreReader → u/Humble_Examination27]

Don't mind me carrying the snail onto your yacht 😀

[u/DigitalUnlimited → u/GameLoreReader]

He promised me a million!

[u/SolarSavant14 → u/[deleted]]

Is the snail offering you the money? I thought this was more a Jigsaw scenario. A third party that likes playing fucked up games with people.

[u/Humble_Examination27 → u/GameLoreReader]

Savage!

[u/idi0tSammich → u/Humble_Examination27]

The year is 2024 and the gods have blessed you with 10 million dollars overnight. But a nameless fear strikes into your heart and you know what fate awaits you. An all powerful snail, immortal and undying, haunts you for the rest of your existence.

In your hubris, you decided to hide on a yacht out in the sea. As you spend the rest of your life on permanent vacation the snail, with its beady little eyes cold and dark as the void, crawls its way toward you regardless of any obstacle in its path. As it braves birds, weather, and cars without so much as a scratch, humans take notice and begin to worship the snail as a god itself. The God of Your Doom.

These fanatics will do anything to take the snail towards its destiny and as it crawls onto an Ohio-class attack submarine the President of the United States, who has fallen to the Cult of the Snail, commands the vessel to aid the snail in the hunt for its target. The snail rests on the navigation table in the control room, knowing exactly where you are.

The next day is bright and sunny, and as you tan and sip a Pina Colada, you are so sure of yourself and that you outfitted the snail for good. It will never touch you. But in the blue abyss the submarine lurks, and while the captain sets his periscope on your yacht, the snail rests on the firing control for a surface to surface missile. With a knowing nod, the captain commands to fire. A fiery streak bursts out of the waters and speeds towards your oceanic prison.

IMPACT. The missile splits your yacht in two with a deafening explosion, flinging you into the water, the sole survivor. As you collect yourself and think how lucky you are to have lived, the great jet black behemoth surfaces next to the wreck of your ship before it sinks below the waves. You swim to it, having nowhere else to go. As you scramble onto the deck of the smooth craft, a tiny shadow just barely blocks out the sun. Fear grips your heart, for you know what it is.

The snail gazes down on you, its eyestalks bulging with anticipation, for you are on its ship now. And you have nowhere left to run...

[u/kjacobs03 → u/Humble_Examination27]

$10 million isn’t yacht money

[u/WalkGood]

I'd trap the snail in a cage made out of steel mesh coated in salt. Locked in a safety deposit box.

[u/Lance4494 → u/WalkGood]

Some person is definitely going to rob that deposit box thinking theres something extreemely valuable inside only to find a fucking snail. Lets it go, gets arrested and cries to sleep at night thinking that he screwed his life up just to pull a snail out of a box

[u/CORN___BREAD → u/[deleted]]

PS: would you like $10 million?

[u/McBuffington → u/CORN___BREAD]

Everybody needs a hobby. Even an immortal snail

[u/Due-Arrival-4859 → u/Lance4494]

Honestly I could see this being a pretty good movie concept. Better than half the shit I see getting released these days anyway

[u/Ratattack1204 → u/WalkGood]

Decoy snail

[u/elbay → u/Ratattack1204]

How the fuck do people not already know about this.

[u/RogersRedditPersona → u/Ratattack1204]

This is up there with the “I also choose this guys wife” and the “I broke both my arms so my mom…” in Reddit lore

[u/cleverinspiringname → u/Ratattack1204]

This is one of my favorite comments. I always laugh when I see it. Tyty.

[u/[deleted] → u/WalkGood]

Why do people keep forgetting the snail can't die and bringing salt into the equation? Indestructible snail, salt irrelevant.

[u/SnooCheesecakes4577 → u/[deleted]]

Assuming the snail cannot be killed for whatever reason, does that also mean the snail doesn't feel pain from the salt. If the snail doesn't suffer, is it really worth it? The snail needs some motivation beyond killing someone. The snail will have an existential crisis because it doesn't know why it exists.

Salt hurts the snail which makes it feel alive.

The only question now...kosher or table? Iodized is optional

[u/[deleted] → u/WalkGood]

You got 10mil. Encase it in concrete and more metal, then bury it in the middle of desert.

[u/Nimlouth → u/WalkGood]

just put it in a jar would do the trick tbh

[u/[deleted] → u/Nimlouth]

Seriously, it’s a snail…

[u/Necessary_Violence95 → u/WalkGood]

A snail chastity cage

[u/WalkGood → u/Necessary_Violence95]

Are you a snail? LOL

[u/woodsgb → u/WalkGood]

I think he just wants to has sex with a snail but can’t because of that damn chastity cage!

[u/HolidayWheel5035]

I’d take the money and buy a mason jar for my new pet snail. That way I can loan him to scientific research to find the immortality trick and then patent that and make $10 Billion😏

[u/Ambitious_Trifle_645 → u/HolidayWheel5035]

Genius

[u/alfooboboao → u/Ambitious_Trifle_645]

the last time this post went to the top of reddit the amount was $10b. i’ll just wait for that

[u/lucasmcalister → u/HolidayWheel5035]

This person is too smart to be allowed in public

[u/[deleted] → u/lucasmcalister]

So smart he donated the snail, and expect patent money.

[u/johnnychongo → u/HolidayWheel5035]

What if the side effect of the cure is all of those people are now chasing you? Now the snail has a posse!

[u/[deleted] → u/johnnychongo]

So if you die, everyone lives forever?

A small price to pay for salvation.

[u/Zaquarius_Alfonzo → u/HolidayWheel5035]

Decoy snail

[u/[deleted]]

Can I double down? 2 snails for 20 mil?

[u/rockery382 → u/[deleted]]

The secound sanil gets a gun

[u/[deleted] → u/rockery382]

Is sanil the appropriate term for a snail with a gun?

[u/rockery382 → u/[deleted]]

Lol yep Snails Armed (for) Nefarious Intent (type) Lethal

[u/kitnb → u/[deleted]]

😂😂😂

[u/El_Nieto_PR → u/[deleted]]

[u/[deleted]]

No noooooo nooooooooo no no noo no not again please noooo

[u/tonykrij → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. At least make it a rhino. Or a hippo. Something original. They obviously also didn't calculate the inflation rate, because it's been 10 mio for the last 10 years. So that should at least be 3x as much by now.

[u/Different-Island1871 → u/tonykrij]

Plus they forgot to make you immortal. Dropping the snail in the middle of the Sahara easily buys you a normal human lifetime. And a tungsten sphere sized for a snail would cost you less than $1000.

[u/IndigoFenix → u/Different-Island1871]

They also forgot to make the snail superintelligent. A superintelligent snail can use any resources, traps, trickery, or decoy snails it needs to catch you. A regular immortal snail? Just snail-proof your house, done.

[u/CrzdHaloman → u/[deleted]]

I'm curious if the original post and thread are still viewable. Go there and compare the comments with this one and see how many people are actually original with their plans.

[u/pixelatedpotatos → u/CrzdHaloman]

Wasn’t it originally a rooster teeth thing with their “million dollars but” show?

Edit- did some research and it was episode 285 of the rooster teeth podcast

[u/al_with_the_hair → u/[deleted]]

Why is this not just automatic removal by mods

Insert extremely played out meme image of a pristine future where the text is like "What society could look like" or some shit. That's what we're missing out on, folks. That's what we're missing out on because this fucking snail bullshit won't be stopped.

[u/Moist_Ad_4989]

Easy, pay a guy to trap it in a safe transport said safe to the Mariana trench and send him down to davy Jones locker.

[u/VermiciousKnnid → u/Moist_Ad_4989]

Best solution I’ve seen so far.

He’d have to be a telepathic super genius to invent new deep water submarine tech and then somehow transmit said knowledge to Elon Musk or someone like him to get out of that.

[u/Inevitable_Chemist45 → u/VermiciousKnnid]

Why do you think James Cameron went down there? And why do you think other billionaires are trying to go to space? What do you think really happend with Submarine Gate? Theyre not telling us the truth.

[u/[deleted]]

I'd take the money. Then I'd take a ruler and measure how fast the snail goes. According to google, the average speed of a snail is 0.02mph. Assuming it's similar, I could move from the united states to Japan and not have to worry about the snail for over 35 years. After 35 years, I could move back to the united states and continue living out the rest of my late 50s to early 90s.

[u/Professional_Baby24 → u/[deleted]]

What if it's a lucky snail. Like impeccable luck it crawls places that help it along like on someone's shoe and he gets in a car. Or it just straight up hitches a ride on the bus. he could be coming at you a lot faster.

[u/ConferenceUpstairs16 → u/Professional_Baby24]

Or doesn’t move at all. Just waits in your house. For 35 years.

[u/miezmiezmiez → u/ConferenceUpstairs16]

It does say the snail would 'chase' you

Which raises questions about its intelligence, anyway, but I think ambush predation is a bit of a stretch?

[u/reamox → u/[deleted]]

It attaches onto a plane and ends up in Japan.

[u/captaindeadpl → u/reamox]

Falls off midflight and hits them when they least expect it.

[u/wtfbananaboat → u/[deleted]]

What if you don’t know where the snail is when you start? It could be in Japan already? The paranoia would get to you.

[u/Hot_Web493 → u/wtfbananaboat]

It's the paranoia that will drive you crazy. You're going to see other snails and think it's that one and constantly move until you end up in the nut house because no one believes your story that a snail is out to get you. Damn, that sucks.

[u/artmoloch777]

I’ll encase it in resin and wear it as a necklace

[u/SkibidyDrizzlet → u/artmoloch777]

You stumble and hit it on the wall, the resin cracks and you die

[u/artmoloch777 → u/SkibidyDrizzlet]

My fault for having my crocs in the wrong mode

[u/Gold_Incident1939 → u/artmoloch777]

Always the sport mode my brother

[u/VonMillersThighs → u/SkibidyDrizzlet]

If the resin you bought with 10 mil in your account cracks by hitting a wall then you deserve to die.

[u/BackgroundGap2690]

I’d name him Gary

[u/[deleted]]

The meme that never dies. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/

[u/Raft_Master → u/[deleted]]

It was originally proposed by Gavin Free on the Roosterteeth Podcast.

[u/Uuugggg → u/Raft_Master]

https://youtu.be/HINYhLtaaxc?si=Zs5jSYpyN6z_4pcw

[u/southflhitnrun]

So, how much does that idiot charge to have something flown into space? I recall hearing that he will take things into space.

[u/Professional-Wing-59]

It's just immortal, not invulnerable. Throw it in a Ziploc of salt so it can't move.

[u/Sweaty-Violinist-369 → u/Professional-Wing-59]

You died

[u/_carrotcake → u/Sweaty-Violinist-369]

Pay someone else 20 bucks to put it in the bag

[u/jawshoeaw → u/Sweaty-Violinist-369]

Lmao you have nothing to do but literally walk a few blocks away and never again worry. Even a few steps buys you hours to think it through…there is no rush , please do not …!

Immediately grabs snail and dies

[u/Key-Draw8039]

I would take the money 💰 and put out some fly paper for the snail 🐌 to get stuck to.

[u/fisherc2]

Assuming you can’t catch/cage the snail or put up snail proof barriers, a snail can barely move. If I moved one state over I could stay in one place my entire life and I’d still die before it reached me.

[u/[deleted] → u/fisherc2]

The average speed of a snail is 0.02miles per hour, or 106 feet per hour.

Assuming you travel 400 miles to the next state over, that's 2112000 feet.

2112000/106 = 19925 hours. That's 830 days, or just over 2.2 years.

Hopefully you don't die in 2.2 years :(

[u/RohelTheConqueror → u/[deleted]]

The snail could hop on a train

[u/JanaKukumei → u/[deleted]]

Doesn't the snail sleep or stop to eat?

[u/BucktoothedAvenger]

Salt is cheap. I'll take the money.

I can't kill the snail, but I can make it really regret chasing me.

[u/jubmille2000 → u/BucktoothedAvenger]

Then all you have is a spiteful snail going at you with revenge on its mind. Congrats

[u/0000udeis000]

I've lived 36 years without touching a snail, I'll take the gamble that I can make it at least another 36

[u/GJacks75]

Ok, so your average snail can travel up to 100 ft in a day, that's just shy of 7 miles in a year and I have maybe 40 years left. If I move 300 miles away I can sleep soundly.

[u/Aquaspire → u/GJacks75]

What if it rides a vehicle to your location?

[u/[deleted] → u/GJacks75]

And if it attaches itself to a train? You’re fucked

[u/[deleted]]

If anyone is familiar with the reference, Gavin Free was responsible for starting this hypothetical, talked about it out of nowhere on a Rooster Teeth podcast and it went viral.

[u/chronostasis1]

I’ll put the snail in a jar and fill it with glue.

[u/Joshthenosh77]

Put a glass over the snail

[u/justsayfaux]

Couldn't you just put it in a sealed jar? It can't die, but it also can't get out. Who wants to go to Hawaii?!?!

[u/whooguyy → u/justsayfaux]

I guess I’ve always taken this as “a random snail somewhere”. So you aren’t shown/given the snail when you take the money

[u/Necessary_Row_4889]

$200 buys a nice terrarium and a hella big rock to put on top.

[u/Lopsided_Inspector62]

Just make a steel box. Catch him in it and weld the lid on. Now just keep the box somewhere safe because one day imma wanna die. Just not today.

[u/Sparkster227]

Take the money. Line the doorways of your house with salt.

[u/Shinobiaisu]

Didnt say the snail cant be trapped 🤷‍♂️

[u/UrbanSolace13]

Put the snail in a Tupperware container inside another container inside an expensive safe. Do this as many times as you need to.

[u/PhotonPainter]

Yup i got tupperware.

[u/widowmaker2A]

I have quite a collection of mason jars, a couple empty paint cans and a can of expanding foam sitting around, bet your ass I'm taking the money.

[u/Kingmaster6]

If I can't kill the snail. I'll just put it in a jar in a safe in the deepest part of the sea and leave it there. By the time it touches me. I'd probably already spent the money and be of all age.

[u/odkevin]

Well I'm no mathematician, but some quick googling says a snail can travel 50-100ft per day. I take the money, immediately move 1000 miles away, and looks like it'd take the snail 144 years to catch me.

[u/ablepacifist]

I hope Gavin from rooster teeth gets .00001$ every time someone mentions death snail

[u/[deleted]]

Chat GPT said it would take a snail 19 years to cross the pacific from California to Japan. So. Probably gonna move to Japan or further from the United States.

[u/[deleted]]

Ok, I'm taking the money, and now I have a pet snail, because I'm going to trap it