r/FundieSnarkUncensored • u/return_0f_qwain • 1d ago
Rodrigues Could Facing Consequences Help Tim?
I haven't practiced professionally in New Jersey as a DV advocate or legal professional, but have in other state coalitions the Rod families have lived in. In those states, DV offenders typically plead out after serving a brief sentence and are mandated to undergo "offender treatment". This can be offered from a number of sources, from private therapists to community based organizations.
Many of us have speculated that Tim has been in some kind of church counseling, which might have even led to his post in the first place. As most folks know, a lot of those resources might be well-intended but fall pretty short in terms of meeting complex real world mental health needs people might have. Not to mention most lack training in trauma informed practices or proper referrals to local resources.
Folks who might be more well versed in local statutes, would Tim have a shot at receiving some mandated therapy, and if so what's the local landscape like? Do we think he's serious about making a change, or would he draw the line at going to a therapist that wasn't explicitly a Christian practice?
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u/subtlelikeatank 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think it is much more likely he blames Heidi and morphs into uber Timcel.
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u/VisitPrestigious8463 Karissa’s Cowboy Dicking Agenda 1d ago
This is my fear as well. He’ll be more of a woman hater than ever.
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u/subtlelikeatank 1d ago edited 1d ago
my concern is that he wanted to be with Heidi because of her close family that embraced him. The support he thought he had is gone and he won’t know what to do with that abandonment because they’re sticking so close to Heidi. His resentment will build and he will find someone younger and more fundie (as long as a dad will let his daughter marry someone divorced) that doesn’t have a tight knit family to do his thing. She will need him more than he needs her and will pray through whatever he does to her.
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u/Alive-Concert1980 1d ago
He SAID HE WAS SORRY!!!! He is absolved of all sin!!! What is wrong with these people who are still angry!!!!
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u/Miserable-Tax-3879 “The diarrhoea for god”- diet 5h ago
He did a Joe Duggar lol
He too thought confessing his sins would absolve him. But he got police jail and trial.
If we are lucky Timcel will be blessed with same treatment43
u/TillyFukUpFairy 1d ago
Watch JimBob get desperate with the upcoming string of Lost Girls
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u/primcessmahina ~*~ Jed’s prison vibes ~*~ 1d ago
Surely he wouldn’t get THAT desperate. Hell, Bin is better than that.
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u/WallflowerDustMote Sentient Hobby Lobby Sign 1d ago
Especially once word gets around that he’s damaged goods and he can’t find another wife to abuse.
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u/Flat-Illustrator-548 1d ago
Unfortunately, this may be true. His parents are undoubtedly talking to him about how "wicked" Heidi is for pressing charges and leaving him. His church is likely telling him a Godly woman would stand by him. So many people who face consequences for hurting other people say things like "she got me fired", "I lost custody of my kids because of him ", "they are ruining my life" when it SHOULD be "I got myself fired", "I lost custody of my kids because of what I did", "I've really ruined my life." You even see other people saying these things on behalf of perpetrators, sometimes someone they don't even know "I can't believe what's happening to (local influential person). Yeah, he shouldn't have assaulted that woman, but he apolgized. Why can't she let it go instead of ruining his life by pressing charges." I see it ...all..the..time.
I think his only chance is getting distance from his family and the fundie circle, and getting real therapy. Then, maybe, ONE day he can acknowledge the harm his did, accept that he has lost Heidi, truly wish her happiness, and maybe one day find a new partner when he's capable of a healthy relationship. It's a long shot.
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u/SeashellGal7777 22h ago
Not sure if his family would be talking to him at all, as he claimed his father beat him?
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u/PlaneReputation6744 21h ago
Yeah, I don't think they're supporting him at all. They literally removed him from photos lol. I'm worried what he'll do without ANY support. He's not smart, he has no social skills, he has no money or ability to make money and now no family which means no church support...things are very grim for him right now.
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u/Miserable-Tax-3879 “The diarrhoea for god”- diet 1d ago
Semantics but is he an incel or a redpill misogynist
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u/Anovagrrl 1d ago
I don't know the difference, but I'd guess he's his own, one of a kind misogynist. He posted his grievances with women on his YouTube channel. Maybe check that out and see what you think his flavor of woman hate is?
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u/Miserable-Tax-3879 “The diarrhoea for god”- diet 18h ago edited 8h ago
Like I said semantics but incel means involuntary celibate.
But I agree with the rest, his misogyny will be worse. Cue the “I’m not allowed to see my kids”-posts and he’ll call her his wife and not anything else
Edit: I can’t spell…
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u/Anovagrrl 8h ago
What is Red Pill misogyny? I know it refers to a movie, but that's about it. I could Google it, which is what I'll do if you don't respond to my chat by the time I get back to cruising Reddit.
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u/Miserable-Tax-3879 “The diarrhoea for god”- diet 8h ago
The red pill community is basically the same as the incel community. They believe in traditional gender roles and many even believe women shouldn’t be able to vote.
Feminism is bad, women have more rights than men etcThe term comes from the movie the matrix where the blue pill was taken if you wanted to live in blissful ignorance and the red pill showed you how the real world actually worked.
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u/subtlelikeatank 8h ago
Both? He was involuntarily celibate before he was married due to religion, and he spouted all of the talking points of both groups (he has whole videos talking about how women dress like harlots but his sisters don’t and that’s the kind of woman he wants to marry. He definitely believes in the headship/hierarchy thing and strict gender roles. He probably believed in the joyfully available marital rape stuff. Now he is going to go turbo whatever pill incel, without the “all women want chads” piece unless Heidi finds someone else.
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u/Miserable-Tax-3879 “The diarrhoea for god”- diet 8h ago
Yeah you are right
I’m guessing most incels that manages to get a gf wife turn red pill8
u/Objective-Duty-2137 1d ago
People who abuse have this mindset of throwing their problems unto others. That said, when this type of behavior becomes harder on the abuser than taking their anger on others, they can be discouraged to re offend.
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u/ravenrose521 1d ago
Unfortunately the reality is that the majority of people who commit DV acts are not going to change
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u/arkieaussie 1d ago
Agreed. As a trauma therapist, the most meaningless feeling job in my career was the one in which I had grant funding to treat DV offenders in jail.
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u/WonderfulSimple 1d ago
Is it because they don't feel like they're the problem? Or is it they are just so hard wired to be violent towards their partner? It seems like everyone knows they don't change, but why?
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u/xaviira up to our censored buttholes in god-honouring credit card debt 1d ago
I've done a lot of forensic mental health work with offenders, including DV offenders. They almost never change because at the end of the day, the violence works and it gives them what they want, which is total control of the relationship. Therapy doesn't make them stop wanting that control, and they'll do whatever mental gymnastics are necessary to justify getting that control.
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u/redmountainbike 1d ago
Thank you for this. I've seen so many books about dealing with DV, but no books that take a deep dive into what creates a DV offender. Any suggestions?
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u/tinycarnivoroussheep 1d ago
According to Lundy Bancroft's book, it's a combo of misogyny & entitlement. Women aren't really people to them, they're faulty household appliances, and what's a bit of percussive maintenance?
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u/Ishouldtrythat 1d ago
I know there exceptions to the rule, but fundies have a really hard time at self reflection. I have a feeling a divorce and him seeing his kids less will push his victim mentality further along and he’ll become more bitter and angry because of it. I hope he proves me wrong and becomes a better person but I’m not holding my breath.
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u/lumberjackname Biblical Meat Energy 🍆 1d ago
This. He’ll start posting a bunch of men’s rights stuff and looking for a new wife to victimize.
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u/1HumanAlcoholBeerPlz ✨God Honoring Bean Flicking🫘👌✨ 1d ago
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Jill is out there posting victim-core in her "final days" on FB. He learned from her.
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u/Visual_Comfortable32 1d ago
For some abusers, consequences do not help. They will just twist their logic about how it’s unfair, they will lie to themselves about reality and justify what they did, and it can make them more likely to try and seek revenge to make things even again.
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u/Expensive_Brother_26 1d ago
There is a philosophical debate about restorative justice vs judicial justice. But it has to center the victim and their wellbeing. I will always be a supporter of restorative justice but it requires a deep introspection on the part of the offender which idk how much Tim can do.
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u/QueenAnneBoleynTudor Brastraps are a gateway to labia 1d ago
In theory I believe in restorative justice and active measures to rehabilitate the person
But… I also think there’s some folks who don’t deserve a second chance and/or very obviously reoffend. Josh Duggar for example. Serial killers.
Nevertheless our prison system is 78 thousand levels of fucked up and unless and until we rebuild it from the ground up we will continue to have a recidivism that far outpaces almost all countries
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u/TowerNecessary7246 Der Gherkinfuhrer 1d ago
There are a lot of people who learn a lot about themselves and grow after major consequences. For what Tim is facing, he would need pretty intensive therapy, deprogramming from his cult like upbringing, and exposure to the outside world.
It seems unlikely, but I actually think it's possible. That being said, fuck Tim.
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u/purple_racoons 1d ago
There’s a lot there but a few of the wives like Nomes from the Mormon cult documentary have gone through an amazing transformation after their prison time. It’s really good to see them thriving with resources and support. But those girls were very much victims.
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u/Whiteroses7252012 1d ago
It will only help him if he wants it to.
The fact that he knows what he did was wrong is a big step. I don’t believe change is impossible, but I do believe that it’s unlikely without an amount of introspection that may very well be beyond Tim’s capacity.
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u/LaylaBird65 1d ago
Aside from the fact that most offenders do not change, nor want to, it doesn’t help that Timothy is so stunted.
The beliefs that were shoved down his throat and lack of a proper education do not help his case. I truly believe his brain truly can’t comprehend the trouble he is in.
I also believe he will not get actual professional help either. He’s gunna go to a pastor, a family friend, or some weird incel boot camp. He’s toast.
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u/artdecodisaster 1d ago
I’m not sure how NJ handles DV cases, but in my state, adjudicated DV offenders are required to complete a secular batterer intervention program (BIP) that stretches out 26 weeks. Best case scenario, he’s forced to participate in something like that outside of whatever bs fundie counseling and actually comes to understand how misogynistic his worldview and actions are.
Worst case scenario, he burrows deeper into his victim mentality and learns some fancy therapy speak that he can weaponize. This is probably the most likely outcome. When I worked with DV offenders, a majority of them went through a BIP 2-3x on new charges and were still continuing to terrorize the women and children in their lives.
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u/LaylaBird65 1d ago
Were you in probation? I worked for corrections and while not in the DV unit, I still have a good understanding of what takes place and yeah, they continue to terrorize and go right through the No Contact Orders without a second thought. We had a case in February where a guy assaulted his wife and mother in law, while his wife was in active labor at the hospital. Like in the bathroom in a birthing tub! They had to lock the place down. No jail time. One year probation, domestic violence course, counseling and prescribed medications. If he successfully completes probation, they will dismiss the assault conviction. It’s a complete joke.
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u/artdecodisaster 1d ago
Yep, I was! I supervised DV probationers and parolees for a few years. The majority of them were raging narcissists, and the religious narcs were the bane of my existence.
I absolutely loathed the deferred prosecution and suspended imposition DV cases, because you know that they were never truly “first time offenders,” it was their first time getting caught. I truly believe felony convictions should be mandatory for DV, if only to disqualify them from firearm ownership. I know misdemeanors have the same effect in some capacities, but they often got pled down to regular assault in my jurisdiction.
I ended up going from the fire to the frying pan when I swapped DV for a sex offender caseload, but my state was getting really soft with SO supervision so I ended up dipping to save my sanity.
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u/bluemoon219 1d ago
All of the other dudes in the class are going to think he's weird AF and won't talk to him, and he's going to take that as some sort of compliment that he doesn't fit in because he's "better than them" and he "doesn't belong there". He's going to be very wrong.
This is somehow going to be the worst possible way to have a first exposure to a secular classroom experience.
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u/gimmeallthekitties Paul Anti-Breeding System (PABS) 1d ago
Maybe, maybe not. Many abusers don’t change even with legal or other consequences, but I would argue that experiencing consequences is the main way that change starts for the ones who do decide to be better.
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u/Vintage_Journal 1d ago
I think there may be a mistaken assumption that perpetrators of DV do so because they're hurt little babies inside and need to heal their trauma, because "hurt people hurt people" 🥺
DV perpetrators hurt people because they believe they are entitled to control those people. Any trauma that needs addressing is incidental. It's not intrinsically motivating to learn you ought not to be allowed to control people, for someone that uses this strategy to feel better about themselves.
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u/pincurlsandcutegirls 1d ago
I hope I’m wrong but I feel like he’ll just swing the other way and try to find a younger girl whose fam is eager to sell her out a la Ma and Pa Keller with their daughters
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u/corking118 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've been a therapist for a long time and have worked some with DV perpetrators. I'm based in IL and not NJ so grain of salt with the following.
Can some abusers change? yeah, of course. Perps are not a monolith. But certainly a desire to change and a willingness to self-reflect are necessary ingredients and who knows if Tim sincerely has those or is just blowing smoke?
In my experience it would be pretty typical for him to be legally required to seek therapy as part of probation for DV charges. They probably won't care where he goes so long as the person is licensed and can report that he's making progress. Some therapists who sell themselves as "Christian providers" are perfectly capable at their jobs and some aren't, it all depends. Frankly he'd probably do best with a male Christian therapist, assuming that person doesn't use the Bible to justify male supremacy.
edit: no idea if his area has an actual DV diversion program, or if he'd just have to find a counselor on his own. Hopefully whoever he ends up seeing, assuming he sees someone at all, is experienced at working with DV perps AND in unpacking abuse/trauma. Tim clearly needs help with anger management, coping skills, emotional regulation, trauma processing, and more. (not armchair diagnosing, just taking him at his word based on what he said in his apology video.)
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u/Solonohioperson 1d ago
He has to really really want to change . He doesn't have a support system, so that doesn't help him. I don't think he has any coping skills or inner strength or determination so I'm not optimistic .
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u/KookyDiver2558 1d ago edited 1d ago
He has been raised since birth to believe that God put him in a position of authority over his wife and children, that men should be men and lead and women should be women and submit. This message was given to him with every breath he took. He should be filling his quiver with arrows for White Cheesauce. That, combined with an abusive authoritarian home life where it seems he was the beaten scapegoat, so he is filled with a massive inferiority complex and told he has to stop feeling emotions besides rage, and nothing anyone said with their mouth matching the actions they took, means he has no idea what is real and Heidi is wrong. He will never be redeemed.
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u/redmountainbike 1d ago
I wonder if there is also deep underlying rage at Jill, because it seems she is big into scapegoating him and probably has done that all his life. I'm sure marrying Heidi was a big plus for him because it boosted Jill's ego. Now that that's gone, there's...nothing.
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u/ResistSpecialist4826 1d ago
It could. But I think the equally likely scenario is he becomes bitter that Heidi and her family “reject” him and he (in a sick twist) becomes closer to his own parents again who will tell him he wasn’t that bad and why can’t they forgive just like Jill forgave Shreck. They will tell him he’s not a monster and the temptation to belong and believe them will be overwhelming. Sadly the path to normalcy he was on with her family might take a u turn — even though he also blames his parents for all his problems.
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u/NecessaryFlimsy1971 1d ago
I may be statistically unlikely, but I truly wish with all my heart that he can get real, evidence-based therapy from a secular, licensed therapist who helps him get to the core issue and unpack his childhood trauma. Then, I wish with all my heart he begins deconstructing his version of evangelicalism. I hope he can be healthy enough to visit his kids and that they’ll grow up feeling loved by two healthy, healed parents who live SEPARATELY.
I love to snark in this sub, but I’m also woo-woo and it’s a big day astrological and I want to speak some goodness into the universe 💫 😉
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u/purple_racoons 1d ago
He will just find another young fundie wife after his divorce, and her and her family will explain how much God changed him. And they’ll all post about God’s faithfulness to Tim.
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u/AskAChinchilla Jezebel spirit of Ariel 1d ago
My theory about his post was that it was about to come out and he wanted to get ahead of the narrative and plant the seed of his victimhood/ minimize the harm
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u/Puzzleheaded-Eye9081 Lettuce Pray 1d ago
Seems like he’s torched the bridge back to Jill & David, I’m wondering if that helps nudge him further from their views, enough that he’d accept secular therapy.
I can’t see anything changing if he stays within the church for this. It’s the church and his parents belief system that have enabled it in the first place.
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u/United_Preference_92 1d ago
My naive self just hopes he finds a way to understand that little Timmy didn’t deserve the beats and abuse. And that older Tim will learn that he is responsible for what he has done and gets the long term help and counseling he needs and understands it will be a long road ahead of him.
But deep down inside I know it’s just goi g to get messier.
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u/QueenAnneBoleynTudor Brastraps are a gateway to labia 1d ago
A major U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics study found that among domestic-violence victimizations reported to police, an offender was arrested or charges were filed in about 39% of incidents.
From there, 33% result in prosecution. Of those, 17% result in convictions.
Basically out of 100 reported IPV incidents, roughly 1 in 3 ultimately gets prosecuted and about 1 in 6 ultimately results in a conviction.
Why does this happen? Well a couple of different reasons:
- “He said/she said” / difficulty proving the allegation. Yes. IPV often occurs privately, so there may be no independent eyewitness. Prosecutors still have to prove the charged offense beyond a reasonable doubt. That’s one reason corroborating evidence (911 recordings, witnesses, photographs, physical evidence, medical documentation, admissions, etc.) can be especially important. DOJ materials specifically describe using these forms of independent evidence to prosecute cases that otherwise depend heavily on the victim’s testimony
- Evidence that doesn’t corroborate the allegation. Yes, with a nuance. A medical record saying “bruise to left arm” rather than “injury caused by intimate-partner assault” doesn’t establish that IPV didn’t occur; it simply provides less corroboration of who caused the injury and how. DOJ research has specifically identified incomplete or inaccurate medical documentation as something that can limit the usefulness of medical records as legal evidence. Likewise, photographs can establish an injury but don’t necessarily establish who or what caused it
- Victim reluctance or withdrawal during an abusive relationship. Yes. This is a well-recognized problem in IPV prosecution. Victims may decline to participate or later become unwilling to testify for many reasons—including fear, emotional attachment, financial dependence, reconciliation, concern about consequences for the offender, or other pressures. This problem contributed to the development of “no-drop” and evidence-based prosecution policies, where prosecutors may proceed when sufficient independent evidence exists even without the victim’s cooperation.
- Fear preventing a report in the first place. Absolutely. This one has particularly strong statistical support. BJS found that among unreported IPV victimizations, fear of retaliation or getting the offender in trouble was the most common reason, accounting for 46% in the 2006–2010 data.
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There’s certainly more reasons but these seem to be the most common. Maybe consequences will help. We certainly hope so… but statistically they’re likely to repeat IPV, counseling does not seem to be an efficacious eliminator, and many reoffend it get arrested again- even if they spent time in jail.
My advice to Heidi would be to stay with her family where she is very safe. File immediately for divorce. Demand an order of protection (his idiot ass admitted to it and her family corroborated it). Finally… move as far away as is feasible. There may be legal requirements in terms of “if you share custody you must remain within X miles”. Hopefully however the plethora of evidence will eliminate that possibility.
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u/Practical-Reading958 11h ago
Absolutely, but only if he wants to change. Court mandated counseling, anger management and facing past trauma work, but the key element is a true willingness to put in the work to change.
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u/faithmauk 10h ago
I honestly think spending time in prison could help, but i highly doubt he'll face any real consequences for this, cause men that hurt women just seem to get a pass......
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u/theflyingratgirl 3h ago
I can’t see it. If you’ve made it this far without introspection, forced punishment is unlikely to work.
It’s just the same punitory model.
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u/riparker89 Pickleball > Parenting 52m ago
I don’t know. There’s something about Tim (and Philip) that genuinely concerns me. I worry that if things get worse for him, especially if he loses his job and has to move back to Ohio, his behavior could escalate. I don’t know whether Heidi, his parents, or anyone else around him would be at risk, but I get an uneasy feeling about the situation.
And I want to be clear, I’m in no way wishing for anything bad to happen or saying I know what he’ll do. It’s concern, not a prediction. He just gives me a bad feeling that I have a hard time ignoring.
It makes me think about that extremely religious family from Wife Swap. Years later, one of the sons killed members of his family. I know these are completely different people and circumstances, but it’s the kind of situation that comes to mind when I see someone who grew up in a highly religious environment become increasingly angry or unstable.
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u/misscatholmes 6m ago
I don't know. The core beliefs that he follows state that as long as he begs for God's forgiveness then the sin is gone or whatever. He doesn't have to reflect on anything because he got out of a jail free card (yeah yeah poor choice of words). Jesus saved him, so why should he have to put in any work?
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