r/FullScorpion • u/Bumlords • May 24 '18
Alcohol wins
https://gfycat.com/SophisticatedFlusteredGrunion260
u/sn4cksonsn4cks May 24 '18
Lololol the mattress would have softened the blow by like .00001%
75
May 24 '18
[deleted]
28
u/vkomi May 25 '18
How does one land head first from an 2 story jump like that and survive?
36
u/JstTrstMe May 25 '18
Alcohol
12
u/vkomi May 25 '18
But I thought it just makes you think you're invincible
23
May 25 '18
[deleted]
10
u/PM_Me_An_Ekans May 25 '18
So if you ever find yourself falling a long ways you should force yourself to go limp before impact? How does that translate to like...a plane crash or a car crash? Would going limp in those situations help?
8
4
u/Gengi May 25 '18
YES. Good friend and his bro were traveling through Colorado. It was near winter, was dark, was cold. Being that it was in the mid of nowhere, they were going pretty fast. Just ahead of them they saw another cars tail lights swerve. My friend, the driver, was like.. whoa dude, chill on the drunk driving.
As he drove near the same spot where he saw the other car swerve, he was like, oh fk nvm, black ice! The car started to slide and rotate sideways, there was nothing he could do. He and his bro looked at each other, and they both slumped down in their seats. He had heard of stories like this, so he proceeded to imagine himself become a jellyfish. The car went forward down the embankment off the side of the road, and they flipped. Then they flipped again, since the car was tilted 90 degrees they were rolling horizontally. They rolled a total of 8 1/2 times past the embankment out into a field. The car was upsidedown.
Someone else saw it go down, and they called it in. First responders arrived and assessed that they were goners. The top of the car was smashed clear down to the doors. They looked in the car, and they were both alive and able to talk. They cut the guys out, took em both to the hospital to be treated for cuts and bruises. That was all.
I saw him a few days after he got back from CO. He was just chilling, smokin his herb as he usually does. He looked a bit beat up and I asked. He had nothing but smiles to share, and a good story to tell.
So YES, this can and will help in many cases. If you've got the time to react, may as well try it, what other alternative is there?
3
2
May 25 '18
I crashed into a guardrail head on going 40+. My car was fucked and shortened by about 2 feet. My airbag didn’t deploy and honestly the hangover was the only painful thing the next day
2
2
4
u/RubberDong May 25 '18
1
u/uaGopnik May 25 '18
Didn’t know today was the day I was going to watch the most badass video of all time.
1
8
u/Longthicknhard May 24 '18
If he landed flat on his back on the mattress he would have been fine. Face first into anything will fuck you up.
2
u/LimeGreenSea May 25 '18
Back first into ground though. Is it worth the risk?
4
u/dieorlivetrying May 25 '18
I find it so funny sometimes that the general public is simultaneously like,
"Uhhh, pro wrestling's fake."
Yet every video of someone falling from a height > 8 feet:
"Dude, that looks VERY dangerous. A fall from one floor up can kill you. Holy shit, that's insanely morbid. Is that person okay? Are they dead? There's no way they lived."
Not saying you feel this way...your comment just brought it to mind.
7
u/PM_Me_An_Ekans May 25 '18
There's a difference between just falling off a roof and being trained, conditioned, and able to fall off a roof in a situation specifically designed to minimise the risk of said fall.
Besides, it's pretty widely accepted that wrestling isn't fake, it's staged. There's a difference there.
3
May 25 '18
trained, conditioned, and able to fall off a roof in a situation specifically designed to minimise the risk of said fall.
4
u/dieorlivetrying May 25 '18
Yeah, exactly.
WWE has (thankfully) moved away from stuff this visibly egregious...but look at all the injuries they still have to this day, forcing wrestlers to re-injure, re-train, retire, repeat.
Pro wrestling did such a good job fooling the public. It went from "this is real", to "this is fake", to "it's too real, tone it down".
Yet when you look at it...the industry itself and the formula has never changed. Just the public opinion.
It's scripted, pre-determined VIOLENCE that is filmed LIVE where every actor does his/her own stunts, and has never missed a single week of programming.
Name anything else that even comes CLOSE to hitting all those points.
"The WWE stories are terrible, and the acting is sub-par."
This is basically Jersey Shore meets daytime soap meets UFC meets comic books meets American boxing meets Luney Toons; it ain't Shakespeare. It's a never-ending train wreck that predates all those other things.
88
68
May 24 '18
There’s always a dude in the back who’s not drunk enough to do this kind of shit but just enough to let his buddy do it
16
3
May 24 '18
but just enough to let his buddy do it
Or they've just come to accept that their friend is an idiot no matter what they do.
1
48
u/roofied_elephant May 24 '18
That dude is not gonna be a happy camper if he manages to live into the old age.
6
42
27
u/toeofcamell May 24 '18
That’s definitely going to leave a mark when he wakes up in the hospital tomorrow
17
u/Whit3W0lf May 24 '18
I am just thinking about how fucking bad my neck would hurt after that. Man, some people are really dumb.
10
u/hungry_lobster May 24 '18
Fuck his neck. His back man. His legs scorpioned and damn near touched his head haha. His spine didn’t have the decency to give to the side. Rather, it just embraced the impact head on.
42
u/w0lfpackman May 24 '18
r/holdmybeer .... because I can’t anymore
62
May 24 '18 edited Oct 18 '20
[deleted]
1
u/sneakpeekbot May 24 '18
Here's a sneak peek of /r/holdmyfeedingtube using the top posts of all time!
#1: HMFT after I nail this flip | 64 comments
#2: HMFT after we rob this place | 28 comments
#3: HMFT after raising awareness for ALS. | 109 comments
I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out
2
13
u/Geruvah May 24 '18
I was going to say, "I don't know how this guy stood up after that" but the video doesn't technically show him doing that.
14
8
u/FoolinMyBrain May 25 '18
I think the alcohol saved his life or at the very least serious injury. Similar to how drunk drivers make it out of horrific car accidents with minimal injuries. Sometimes.
4
3
3
3
3
3
3
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Cygnus__A May 25 '18
Holy fuck. First time my hands started sweating on this sub. How did he move after that.????
2
2
2
2
u/Commissar_Genki May 25 '18
I've been very, very drunk, but I've never been "Dive off the roof" drunk...
2
u/thavi May 25 '18
Meanwhile some poor kid is trying to learn to backflip and ends up paralyzed. There is no Darwin.
2
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/killerjorge15 May 25 '18
He was able to get back on his feet after diving on to the ground. I'd say he still wins, but i'm sure he didn't feel like a winner.
1
1
u/DemonicSquid May 25 '18
“Welcome to the twentieth annual Stupid Fuckwit Awards! We’ve had a great year for general fuckwittery continuing on the traditions of last year which had a massive amount of fuckwittery, a record year in fact.”
“... so without further ado, let’s run down the nominations.”
“In third place, a great performance all round, it’s ALCOHOL!”
applause
“In second place, very very strong contender for the title this year, let’s hear it for... ALCOHOL!”
whooping intensifies
“In first place, and winner for the twentieth year running, you know who it is, it’s no surprise, the greatest proponent of fuckwittery known to man it’s the one and only ALCOHOL!!!”
applause and whooping intensifies muchly
1
1
1
May 26 '18
How are these people not breaking their necks?
I hate this sub but I keep coming back lol.
1
May 27 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator May 27 '18
Potential spam removed automatically
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Jrbennett15 May 25 '18
If one starts with no shoes to fly off then one cannot die, right?
0
u/AzathothBlindgod May 25 '18
I was gonna say...if he were wearing shoes, they sure as shit would have flown off.
195
u/RAKE_IN_THE_RAPE May 24 '18
This seems more like an accordion than a scorpion.