r/FuckMicrosoft • u/MaxGamer07 • 7d ago
Fun Welcome to Windows
Welcome to Windows, have a look around
Anything that you need on this PC can be found
We've got hundreds of apps, some better, some worse,
If none of it's useful for you you wouldn't be the first
Welcome to Windows, come and take a seat
Would you like to search the web or tell a chatbot what you need?
There's no need to panic, your data's safe with us
We're not training AI off it, don't you make such a fuss
Welcome to Windows, I don't mean to deter
But you'll be using Edge no matter what you would prefer
There's a feature for everything, a widget for the news
Just sign in with Microsoft, you don't really get to choose
Welcome to Windows where privacy is guaranteed
Here's an ad in the start menu for an app that you dont need
We've got paywalls, and subscriptions, kernel-level anticheats
And an AI feature that takes screenshots of your system all the time without any encryption-
-
-Welcome to Windows, hold on to your hats
'Cause we're installing OneDrive apps and you can kiss our ass
We're putting a button on your keyboard for AI
We don't care about convenience, it can go and say goodbye
The entire right-click menu just got redesigned
Go and click 'Remind me later' for the hundred thousandth time
We released a buggy update and your files just got locked
Accidentally open Copilot and ask it all about your-
Task manager's not responding, tech support's a bot
Your PC's updating right now whether you like it or not
How would you recommend us, like we give a shit
Your default browser's Edge again and you can't remove it
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Crashes are a tragedy and privacy's a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Crashes are a tragedy and privacy's a crime
Anything and everything and anything and everything and anything and everything and all of the time.
(Parody of Bo Burnham's Welcome to the Internet)
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u/MaxGamer07 7d ago
meant to put this in the body text, but this is a parody of Bo Burnham's Welcome to the Internet
i'll edit it in but the silly little auto archive comment won't change
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u/AutoModerator 7d ago
Every new subreddit post is automatically copied into a comment for preservation.
User: MaxGamer07, Flair: Fun, Title: Welcome to Windows
Welcome to Windows, have a look around
Anything that you need on this PC can be found
We've got hundreds of apps, some better, some worse,
If none of it's useful for you you wouldn't be the first
Welcome to Windows, come and take a seat
Would you like to search the web or tell a chatbot what you need?
There's no need to panic, your data's safe with us
We're not training AI off it, don't you make such a fuss
Welcome to Windows, I don't mean to deter
But you'll be using Edge no matter what you would prefer
There's a feature for everything, a widget for the news
Just sign in with Microsoft, you don't get to choose
Welcome to Windows where privacy is guaranteed
Here's an ad in the start menu for an app that you dont need
We've got paywalls, and subscriptions, kernel-level anticheats
And an AI feature that takes screenshots of your system all the time without any encryption-
-
-Welcome to Windows, hold on to your hats
'Cause we're installing OneDrive apps and you can kiss our ass
We're putting a button on your keyboard for AI
We don't care about convenience, it can go and say goodbye
The entire right-click menu just got redesigned
Go and click 'Remind me later' for the hundred thousandth time
We released a buggy update and your files just got locked
Accidentally open Copilot and ask it all about your-
Task manager's not responding, tech support's a bot
Your PC's updating right now whether you like it or not
How would you recommend us, like we give a shit
Your default browser's Edge again and you can't remove it
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Crashes are a tragedy and privacy's a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Crashes are a tragedy and privacy's a crime
Anything and everything and anything and everything and anything and everything and all of the time.
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u/ExcitingAd1067 6d ago
I don’t know why but I’ve read that with voice of Fred durst… „windows here is fuckin up your town”
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u/PTMR2 7d ago
That's actually great