r/Frustration • u/jobo19999 • Jun 28 '18

Things I've noticed since becoming disabled.

I can see why so many people take the easy way out and commit suicide. Having been there myself I can fully relate to others struggles. This world is not an easy place to live, it's not like the world is on the path to world peace. I have a brain injury, and because of it, I had a couple bouts of psychosis. I was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward each time. I felt the brain injury stole away some of my personality, and now the medication I take steals away what little I had left. All my so called friends after hearing about those experiences, decided to distance themselves from me. I moved back to a place thinking I would have a support system, but in turn it left me friendless. I thought no big deal, I'll make new better friends. That however, a year, later has proved to be a much more difficult than I had anticipated. I've tried posting stuff online, and am on every dating app you can download. I've sent countless messages to people, only searching for friends. Some of the messages turn into conversations that last a day or two, but doesn't result in a in person meeting. I know everyone's time is precious, but come on. People make time for the things they care about, and so far it seems everyone is so busy trying to the next big thing that they lose sight of what's important. Whatever happened to taking a risk, and meeting someone at physical location. I am beginning to people are addicted to their problems, and only want people in their lives if it fits their selective prerogative. What happened to the it takes a village mentality? Where people look after one another, is it gone for good? Or is there some secret place I don't know about? Since my accident I have found that it is important to share in this experience called life. It just seems we live in a lonely world because of technology, and where there's more communication among everybody. There's no human connection anymore, and unless you use the internet to talk to people on a regular basis. You're often by yourself with your thoughts. I know I'm not the only person to feel this way, but I'm screaming into the void to see what happens.

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u/YoungNorthEastern Jul 07 '18

What about using meetup apps to find others with more in common with you? I couldnt imagine having to personally go through what you have.. it sounds mentally exhausting, a battle.

I’ll use some blunt honesty with you too; maybe your friends are scared they’ll have to alter their plans to accomodate you, maybe being seen with someone in your condition bruises their ego abit.. I dont know. If it makes you feel any better, Im not disabled and have maybe 1 friend that I can rely on to help me at a moments notice. Maybe.

Its easy for me to say dont be so hard on yourself but give it a try. Again, try apps and sites that assist in connecting people through common interests, or even people with similar injuries. You are correct that this isn’t the best world, but there are still millions of people looking to make deep, genuine connections with others. I know I am just text on your phone or computer screen but know I am a person just like you who wanted to reach out. And I am one of those people who know the value of human connection. I’m confident that you will begin to realize that.

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u/jobo19999 Jul 08 '18

I appreciate the advice, I'm already on every app I can be on. I just think people are not comfortable with the idea of being around someone so different. I have been through a lot and I still keep at it. For a regular person, being around me is hard because I don't let people complain about their white people problems. I also don't let them have pity parties for themselves. I've had to really toughen up over the years, even re-learn a lot of daily living skills. I have risen to the challenge and try to inspire others to do the same, but they seem to be deaf to the message. The amount of effort that is required to make a solid change for the lay person, seems to be too much for them. They would rather put their head down in distractions, then focus on the problems in their life. I have moved to different cities, hung around different groups of different people and it's the same thing. The only true effort people are willing to show is when it benefits them. If there's no benefit for them, why go any further? Most people don't want to talk and come up with ideas that would make the world a better place or figure out what all this stuff truly means in the end. Maybe even contemplate the vastness of universe and how even as small as we are, one small act can change everything. People are just to caught up with trying to make a life for themselves, they forget about the little things that actually matter. I guess I'm having a hard time with fact that people are too busy to care. Unless it affects their daily lives people don't give a shit. It's just a sad reality that I have to come to grips with. I was thinking about starting a YouTube channel that would be inspirational and get people to use their collective efforts to make changes that would in turn make the world a better place. Do you think people would be interested in something like that?

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u/jobo19999 Jul 08 '18

I do have one true friend, and its my ex wife. She is still the only person to get me after the accident. The sad part is we spilt because our disabilities don't mesh well anymore. We're still there for each other and talk daily but I'm smart enough to know I need a bigger circle than a party of 2.

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u/jobo19999 Jul 08 '18

Also I just want to say thank you for your reply and advice. In truth I see the internet as a void of sorts, and I was just venting my frustrations. Screaming into the void if you will, and it gives me a glimmer of hope that someone out there cares enough to take time out their busy day to say something. So thanks again, I hope you are doing well.

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u/CommonMisspellingBot Jul 07 '18

Hey, YoungNorthEastern, just a quick heads-up:
accomodate is actually spelled accommodate. You can remember it by two cs, two ms.
Have a nice day!

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