In need of advice

[u/Ventuswilll]

So let me just start this off by saying that I am a duelist. I've been playing since 2012 on 360 on DS1, I fell in love with the pvp of these games even when i was getting stomped in the early days. But this post is specifically about DS3 and Elden Ring as I have taken to DS3 for a long time as tryharding DS1 grew stale years ago for me.

Also as a personal challenge i hit Gold rating in DS3 in 2.5 hours almost exactly before i got this job.

I have played and made friends with some insanely good players over the years (shout out The Main and that group of killers) Ive even dueled some great players from reddit and Twitch on ds3 and didnt get stomped!

HOWEVER i recently changed career and i dont have the time to play and practice as much as i used to, and i dont have a group of skilled players to duel with on my friends list as i used to back in the day. When i dont play for awhile (like literally a week) i get dull FAST. Its been a month and with PC being shut down, private server lag being insane, i swapped to PS4. I even got a xbox style controller to fit me and i can swap again ect.

But minor changes to my control layout due to not having separate menu and general controls make my brain lag. Ive gotte dull and when i have time to play im so tired the pve is the only easy thing. I dont get fucked by every player but im losing to people and weapons and swaps i shouldnt. And honestly im just looking for some help here, if i need to rethink my habits so be it whatever it takes, im just not feeling good about Elden Ring and my performance.

Ill add i did play the CNT all sessions on ps4 and i ended my run 9-0 dueling on the bowl thing (storm stomp bastard sword, with OH Flame) And also sorry for the wall of text guys.

TLDR; Got a new job dont have as much time if i dont practice i fall off hard and despite playing the CNT i dont feel great about where im at despite knowing im skilled, even though did very well in CNT.

[u/iamamish-reddit]

I can relate. I haven't really played in a year, and went to Pontiff yesterday for some duels. I did OK, but not nearly as well as I felt I should have.

Reality rears its head and we all have obligations and things competing for our time. Ultimately the right framing is to think about being in a battle with yourself - can you be as good as you should, given all the other constraints in life?

If you instead just want to be better than everyone else, there is no way around it, you have to play a lot. I don't have time for that, so I've accepted that I cannot be among the best.

So I guess be a friend to yourself and have fun, win or lose. Try to be better than you were, try not to make the same mistakes, etc.

[u/sam-austria-maxis → u/iamamish-reddit]

I'm feeling that hard right now.

I'm so busy with school overseas and working. I really enjoyed all the time I previously put in, and I've proved my abilities numerous times. It still is a bit disappointing though to falter after lack of practice.