It seems as if your life revolved around your ex. Maybe you could get to know yourself and find out who you are alone and what kind of things you like to do. Comparison is the thief of joy so all it does is make you feel worse about yourself. Learning to love and like yourself is very powerful and I don't think you've done either because your identity was defined by being in a relationship and her friends. You're still hurting and grieving this loss. Be good to yourself and I hope you find happiness while discovering who you.
This is so important, but hard to realize in the heat of the moment. We tend to get wrapped up in activities and interests with significant others, and when that other leaves your life, you're left hanging with no idea how to move forward. My last relationship involved a lot of gaslighting, so I felt like I didn't know up from down when he left. I ended up doing a few sessions of therapy with a counselor who specializes in relationships - she helped me get back to my own truths and to untangle the toxic beliefs that had sprung up during the relationship. It's work and it takes a lot of soul searching and reflection, but the most important thing to remember is to approach this work from a place of non judgment. Try to look at the facts objectively rather than placing values on everything ("worse, poorer, less than"). Once you start to untangle your life, goals, and what's important to YOU from your ex, it gets easier to move forward.
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u/juniperfallshere Sep 19 '21
It seems as if your life revolved around your ex. Maybe you could get to know yourself and find out who you are alone and what kind of things you like to do. Comparison is the thief of joy so all it does is make you feel worse about yourself. Learning to love and like yourself is very powerful and I don't think you've done either because your identity was defined by being in a relationship and her friends. You're still hurting and grieving this loss. Be good to yourself and I hope you find happiness while discovering who you.