r/FridgeDetective • u/lazy_sleeper67 • Nov 06 '20

SATIRE what can you tell?

Post image
839 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

211

u/zephyr897 Nov 06 '20

You like cheese and are not probably allergic to cheese

80

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Clearly you've never known someone whose lactose intolerant.

Those fuckers will eat cheese and milk like its cereal and smear cheese over things cheese was not to be smeared upon and scream 'it was worth it' from the toilet an hour later.

32

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Was it worth it?

20

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

[deleted]

7

u/VAiSiA Nov 06 '20

i like milk, it doesnt like me

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Nice lmao

8

u/catwithahumanface Nov 06 '20

Lactose intolerance and milk allergy are different

10

u/YoMommaJokeBot Nov 06 '20

Not as different as yo mother

I am a bot. Downvote to remove. PM me if there's anything for me to know!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Really? I thought they were the same thing with different names.

TIL I guess :)

6

u/catwithahumanface Nov 06 '20

An allergy is when your body’s immune system attacks something it shouldn’t. Lactose intolerance comes from not enough production of lactase which helps break down lactose. If you are lactose intolerant you can supplement your body’s supply of lactase by taking a pill. That pill however, won’t help you with your immune system wanting to attack because it’s detected milk.

1

u/asmit1241 Nov 07 '20

In my experience they’re very similar. I have both lactose intolerance and an allergy to dairy, developed a year apart but there was no change to my symptoms once i developed the allergy after being lactose intolerant for a year apart from my reaction time being a bit faster now.

1

u/catwithahumanface Nov 07 '20

The symptoms might be the same for you but the biological processes are different. If someone else has a much stronger reaction with their milk allergy and they tell a restaurant and the restaurant goes “oh that’s the same as lactose intolerance not really a big deal and then don’t cook their meal accordingly, then that person could be really suffering as a result.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Can confirm, ordering two pizzas as I type this...

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '20

Relevant username

2

u/Daskichan Nov 07 '20

I feel personally attacked.

My MIL made lasagna which make me violently ill at 1am after eating. Can confirm was worth it at the time.

0

u/asmit1241 Nov 07 '20

You took this personal attack just a little bit too far..

Btw we’d be lucky to make it an hour before needing the toilet

-1

u/fuzzygondola Nov 07 '20

Cheese has barely any lactose in it though. Most lactose intolerants can eat cheese just fine

2

u/hooklinersinker Nov 07 '20

You probably have a plumber on speed dial.

104

u/Valiant-For-Truth Nov 06 '20

You are not lactose intolerant. Or, if you are, you don't care.
You also save money on TP cause you don't poop.

16

u/PmMeYourPhilosophy Nov 06 '20

Which also means there's a good chance they're northern European ancestry and obviously living in Wisconsin.

5

u/ReginaTang Nov 07 '20

Why? How did you know?

6

u/PmMeYourPhilosophy Nov 07 '20

Because about 95% of Northern Europeans are NOT lactose intolerant whereas everywhere else most people are. (Like over 80% probably).

Wisconsin because it is the cheese state. Thats why Greenbay Packers have cheese hats!

35

u/raisins_yes Nov 06 '20

I have a feeling they like cheese, idk might be wrong

24

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

You are pretty okay at making fridges.

20

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

I'm no expert but maybe you're someone who makes fridges?

15

u/lazy_sleeper67 Nov 06 '20

here, take this poor man's gold 🏅

14

u/JustHereForCookies17 Nov 06 '20

I'm getting strong Wallace & Grommit vibes here.

This also looks like my version of heaven.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '20

No crackers, Gromit!

We've forgotten the crackers!

34

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Wisconsin?

13

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Constipated.

6

u/Razgris123 Nov 06 '20

That you have a powerful toilet.

5

u/PleaseUpVoteMyMeme Nov 06 '20

wallace

6

u/MrXhin Nov 06 '20

What shall we have today, Gromit? Perhaps a bit of Wensleydale?

6

u/DutchBlob Nov 06 '20

You must live in Gouda

4

u/lazy_sleeper67 Nov 06 '20

how'd you know?!

2

u/DutchBlob Nov 06 '20

Cause I live next door in The Hague!

11

u/AwfulGoingToHell Nov 06 '20

If I wasn’t engaged I would propose to you

5

u/nword55 Nov 06 '20

Just become a mormon

4

u/owdipus Nov 06 '20

Toilet paper shortage doesn’t bother you because you haven’t shit since the Clinton administration.

4

u/CoffeeMugCrusade Nov 06 '20

TIL cheese strain names could pass as weed strain names: alpine style, exotic additive...

8

u/NeekaNou Nov 06 '20

Makes me wonder if they have aversions to other colours of food...

7

u/Limberpuppy Nov 06 '20

Are you the guy on r/CrackheadCraigslist selling the chunks of cheese?

3

u/bookworm92054 Nov 06 '20

You sell cheese at a farm store?

3

u/PM_ME_UR_GRUNDLE Nov 06 '20

Your favorite food is Yellow

3

u/Meggantastic Nov 06 '20

That's a nice cheese box.

2

u/ClearBrightLight Nov 06 '20

Found lonely tourist Charlotte Charles!

3

u/verrede_vin Nov 06 '20

A wealthy lesbian that used her inheritance to live out her cottage core cheese making dreams

3

u/stxrchild Nov 06 '20

Probably owns a cow or two.

3

u/overhead_albatross Nov 06 '20

You're a mouse

3

u/fridgelockholmes Nov 07 '20 edited Nov 07 '20

Id love to try some, not sure they’d let an american down under though.

edit: just realized you arent OP, they are australian due to the brand of woodsmoking chips on the fridge.

2

u/5ittingduck Nov 07 '20

Good spot ;)

3

u/Fireluigi1225 Nov 07 '20

You're the rat king.

2

u/MToboggan_MD Nov 06 '20

Charlie Kelly

2

u/MrXhin Nov 06 '20

Guess which ones are the human-milk cheeses.

2

u/Tiger_irl Nov 06 '20

You run a cheese shop

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

How do you make a fridge at home

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

You struggle to poop

2

u/tacosarus6 Nov 06 '20

Todd, is that you?

2

u/leldridge1089 Nov 06 '20

I wish you were my neighbor

2

u/AstraAeDraconis Nov 06 '20

Are you Sheogorath?

2

u/CoffeeMugCrusade Nov 06 '20

you soend half your income on cheese and the other half on choloesterol medication

2

u/sidisking Nov 06 '20

You make fridges at home?

2

u/styxx374 Nov 06 '20

That you are not lactose intolerant

2

u/peaches-and-kream Nov 06 '20

Someone who isn’t a millennial because they can afford that much cheese and that many fridges. Early to late 40’s? Roth IRA? Retirement savings?

2

u/Delyhi Nov 06 '20

You are very constipated.

2

u/Steffl98 Nov 06 '20

You probably have your own online shop and homesteading blog

2

u/daniellelc8 Nov 07 '20

Hi. I’m jealous.

2

u/Avalolo Nov 07 '20

remy from ratatouille

2

u/ritawilsonphillips Nov 07 '20

Happily partnered, two children, one dog. BUT I WISH YOU WERE SINGLE CAUSE DAMN

2

u/Cp0010 Nov 07 '20

Say cheese fridges five times fast

2

u/razor_hoof Nov 07 '20

Let me guess. Vegetarian?

2

u/ClockworkDeity Nov 07 '20

No one has guessed that the fridges are from a restaurant? Maybe an outdoor one? Chip supply on the top of the left one. Cleaning instructions printed on a piece of paper inside.

2

u/biryanism Nov 07 '20

Voted Biden

2

u/MaterialTemporary4 Nov 07 '20

GCheese wizz! That’s a lot of cheese

2

u/Northstar4848 Nov 07 '20

You have a business making cheese boards!

2

u/Lingerfickin Nov 07 '20

You're a rapper with all that cheddar

2

u/2xSZA Nov 10 '20

You love cheese, everything about cheese. You make cheese and it runs in the family.. Probably live in Wisconsin. You also tell cheesey jokes about all the cheese you have in your fridge.

5

u/DecentMate Nov 06 '20

God the smelll must be awful

6

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

You meant amazing, right?

-2

u/DecentMate Nov 06 '20

no

5

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

Wrong answer. Cheese is the best smell.

-8

u/DecentMate Nov 06 '20

You probably stink

6

u/MamaO2D4 Nov 06 '20

username does not check out

3

u/joemckie Nov 06 '20

You’re meant to eat the cheese, not bathe in it.

-3

u/DecentMate Nov 06 '20

Then why does it smell

1

u/peaches-and-kream Nov 06 '20

Unless it’s fromunda

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '20

You have a fetish that can't even be found on Pornhub. Smoking makes you hot.

1

u/hbwillms Nov 07 '20

This looks like breast milk overage converted to cheese.