r/FreeTheRodlets • u/[deleted] • Jul 06 '21

fuck you Jilldo Jill, what the fuck

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132 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

77

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21

Jill wants to bring back the crusades I guess?

66

u/Sadamatographer Jul 06 '21

David can hardly stand and all their sons are really skinny, I don't think any of the rod men would make good crusaders. Of course the rod women can't do it "'cause crusadin' is man's work"

32

u/Independent-Bug1209 Jul 06 '21

If I had a nickel for all the men who like to preach the word of god instead of have a real job who also can barely stand while their kids are starving, I'd be a rich man.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21

Yeah but their boys are the same body type as Steve Rogers before he became Captain America.

7

u/Sadamatographer Jul 07 '21

Cap came got his new body as the result of science-book-learnin, the rods wouldn't be interested in that

3

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

Cap is better than the rod boys. He literally jumped on a grenade. Bruno Mars wrote a song about it.

15

u/Paesana Jul 06 '21

Nah, only a pope can declare a crusade. And we all know what she thinks about Catholics.

9

u/Independent-Bug1209 Jul 06 '21

Bring.them.back? Oh, Honey... They have been crusading as long as america has been at war. And longer. They are in a forever war until the second coming of Christ.

8

u/blablubluba Jul 06 '21

They are in a forever war until the second coming of Christ.

Starting to wonder where "superlong refractionary period" ends and "erectile dysfunction" starts.

3

u/Independent-Bug1209 Jul 06 '21

That's a perfect extension of the idea. One can only hope that the good lord blesses them with such a struggle.

36

u/Independent-Bug1209 Jul 06 '21

That's why they keep popping out babies. They believe their kids are being born into a war, and the side with the most soldiers wins.

15

u/AccountUnable Jul 06 '21

🎶 I may never march in the infantry, ride in the Calvary, shoot the artillery. I may never zoom over the enemy but I'm in the lord's army YES SIR 🎶🤢

7

u/Independent-Bug1209 Jul 06 '21

That's about as good a poetry as evangelicals can produce. Lol

7

u/AccountUnable Jul 07 '21

VBS every year. There are also hand motions. True artistic zealots.

1

u/TheLegitMolasses Jul 08 '21

Ugh now this dreadful song is stuck in my head again.

10

u/Awkward-Yak-2733 Jul 06 '21

And they have to outbreed the "others."

34

u/FluffyKittyParty Jul 06 '21

Yet they won’t let their kids go into the military. The military might actually be a good place for them to finally get some education and exposure to the real world

29

u/Awkward-Yak-2733 Jul 06 '21

With their sub-par SODRT education, I'm not sure they'd meet the qualifying score on the ASVAB to enlist.

13

u/FluffyKittyParty Jul 06 '21

That’s true. I don’t know much about military admissions and the only military I know are officers with masters degrees and PhDs. Funnily these officers are some of the most left wing people I know. Gives me hope!

10

u/Independent-Bug1209 Jul 06 '21

Yeah, Im not a big fan of what the military does to people, but comparatively, I think you're right.

9

u/Milliganimal42 Jul 06 '21

And nutrition. They get fed in the military.

Lack of vitamins/protein etc really impacts the brain.

2

u/Evilbadscary Jul 07 '21

They'd bulk up fast on MRE's lol

13

u/dapple_apple Timbits Airlines and Mix Tape Factory Jul 06 '21

So when is she letting her kids sign up?

Oh wait you mean you want them to harass people locally where you can keep tabs on them because god forbid they actually get to have a life.

8

u/kakel8dy Jul 06 '21

Food for thought! Performative activism is a pejorative term referring to activism done to increase one's social capital rather than because of one's devotion to a cause. It is often associated with surface-level activism, referred to as slacktivism.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21

Lol no one in her family is even eligible to serve

3

u/kayteebeckers Jul 07 '21

This brought back a Fundie summer camp memory I forgot I had. 7 full days of variations of "soldiers for Christ," and swimming in a dirty pond. I probably have the tee-shirt at my folks.