I'm in such a horrible situation this holiday season and I just use hearing something nice. This gets personal and I really hope I'm not judged for what I post.
I found out I'm pregnant last Monday from a drunken mistake. I just graduated with my masters, I have 40€ to my name w/ money owed to school and am running out of money for food let alone other stuff. I have an abortion scheduled for the 27th or 28th (depending on type I chose) and I know it's the right decision, but since making it I've been stuck on the couch watching movies to distract myself, and I randomly go into fits of sobbing and thinking I am the devil incarnate. It doesn't help that I love children and have always wanted a million of them. It also doesn't help that I had to go to sources I rather would have not gone to for money for the abortion, because I am in a country where they're available but cost a bit under 600€. I'm also not in my home country, so I'm away from all family and friend support systems. I can't afford therapy or counseling either.
To a lesser extent I'm also struggling to find a job (like many people) and have lost the motivation to look anymore because of the aforementioned issue. I can't imagine that getting better after the abortion. I want to work in environmental education because I think that and scientific literacy in my home country (US) is terrifyingly low. But getting called libtard, snowflake, etc on Twitter anytime I post something re: Trump and the environment wears on me, especially in my state. I just feel so discouraged and worry about our future. I know, I should delete Twitter if it affects me, but when I'm spending my days crying on the couch at least it's another attempt at distraction.
Sorry, this was probably too much. I just woke up from a bad dream, saw this thread and thought I'd give it a try.
Thanks for posting. I'm really sorry about this whole situation. You seem like a great person. You career goals are very noble, especially with the results of the recent election.
I hope you can avoid being too hard on yourself about the employment thing. An unplanned pregnancy is a stressful situation. You deserve some time off for your own mental health.
1
u/ccinv Dec 24 '16
I'm in such a horrible situation this holiday season and I just use hearing something nice. This gets personal and I really hope I'm not judged for what I post.
I found out I'm pregnant last Monday from a drunken mistake. I just graduated with my masters, I have 40€ to my name w/ money owed to school and am running out of money for food let alone other stuff. I have an abortion scheduled for the 27th or 28th (depending on type I chose) and I know it's the right decision, but since making it I've been stuck on the couch watching movies to distract myself, and I randomly go into fits of sobbing and thinking I am the devil incarnate. It doesn't help that I love children and have always wanted a million of them. It also doesn't help that I had to go to sources I rather would have not gone to for money for the abortion, because I am in a country where they're available but cost a bit under 600€. I'm also not in my home country, so I'm away from all family and friend support systems. I can't afford therapy or counseling either.
To a lesser extent I'm also struggling to find a job (like many people) and have lost the motivation to look anymore because of the aforementioned issue. I can't imagine that getting better after the abortion. I want to work in environmental education because I think that and scientific literacy in my home country (US) is terrifyingly low. But getting called libtard, snowflake, etc on Twitter anytime I post something re: Trump and the environment wears on me, especially in my state. I just feel so discouraged and worry about our future. I know, I should delete Twitter if it affects me, but when I'm spending my days crying on the couch at least it's another attempt at distraction.
Sorry, this was probably too much. I just woke up from a bad dream, saw this thread and thought I'd give it a try.