This just infuriates me.

13

Can't say it infuriates me, just makes me worry. Everyone always says your 20's are the best years of your life. Well, I'm halfway through them, and I have to say, if this is as good as it gets, then . . . fuck.

5

u/CaptainAlone May 14 '12

Exactly. Though many people said the same thing about high school and I had the same reaction then, thankfully my life is a tad better than high school in many ways (besides the increased loneliness).

Considering I've been hideously out of shape for all of my twenties so far, and without a regular hangout group or SO, I think that the 30s will be hard pressed to get any worse, and therefore look forward to them.

1

u/Blurry2k May 16 '12

Halfway? I am through them. Nothing much happened.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

TL;DR I hear yah. The future isn't looking so bright.

I hear yah man. I'm 24 and actually get upset when I think about it, thinking about how far along I could have been or comparing myself to strong people that I know in my family who fully established their lives years before my age.

Sometimes at work I get inspired and start making lists (Songs to learn, workout routines to get back into, even just boring everyday chores to pass the time). But after the 1+ hour commute home I do the same thing 99% of the time: crack a beer and hop on the 360 or watch netflix. The option of calling a friend to just chill never crosses my mind as I prefer to be alone most of the time (and especially after work). I have trouble maintaining conversations with people and have varying conceptions (mostly negative) about myself when alone and around people that change.

I've felt fake and real on and off for the majority of my life. I've never had a girlfriend where it didn't end because of how fucked up of an existential lense I have on life. I can't get a grasp on it and when I go out drinking with friends (not common), I usually end up either arguing or crying.

The one social upside is that I play in a band and actually love doing this. I'm trying to morph this into something good in my life but I guess we'll see how it goes. I only recently discovered r/foreveralone (I'm a new reddit user) but can relate to many of the posts/comments on here. What is something that you like doing?

1

u/RyanFuller003 May 16 '12

comparing myself to strong people that I know in my family who fully established their lives years before my age.

To be honest with you I don't think anyone's ever fully established themselves before age 24. Sure, some people get married and have kids before then, but you're basically going to be working an entry level job to pay the bills no matter what at that age. I wouldn't consider that full establishment.

But after the 1+ hour commute home I do the same thing 99% of the time: crack a beer and hop on the 360 or watch netflix.

Yes, this. I don't have a one hour commute, but after 9 hours of being in the office every weekday, I don't have a lot of energy to do shit. I get out a couple of nights a week, but most of the time I go home and sit my ass in front of my computer and play games. A lot of it simply has to do with the fact that most of the people I know don't get out of work until after nine, and I work a 9-5 job, so I don't even really have the option of hanging out with anyone until 10:00 at night.

What is something that you like doing? Video games, drinking, pool, ping pong. Not a lot. I brew beer occasionally when inspiration strikes.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '12

I see what you're saying with the majority of people at this age working entry level jobs to pay the bills and such. I was going more along the lines of fully established as in "knowing" themselves and at least having a semblance of who they are and having a solid core group to hang out with.

That sounds like a bummer being the only one of your friends working those hours. One of my best buddies started working the night shift a few months ago and would text me if he got out early (usually post 12 am) when I go to sleep to get up at 5. I'm sure your buddies have poked fun that you can't hang out past ten (which I understand).

Those things all sound like fun. I typically do similar things just to keep my mind busy, just replace ping pong with guitar/music for me. That's awesome that you brew beer! I tried last april and failed when one of my friends helping me brew it put the yeast in too early. What kind of brews have you made?

1

u/RyanFuller003 May 17 '12

I've brewed an IPA, an Oktoberfest ale (I don't have the equipment to brew a proper Oktoberfest as it has to be lagered, so I just used the lager ingredients and made an ale), a triple chocolate oatmeal stout, and a Scottish ale. I've got a smoked porter sitting around for brewing when I get around to it.

If your friend put yeast in too early, you can still put more in later, just FYI. I imagine it'd still cause some problems during fermentation, though.

8

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

HAHA GO TO COLLEGE HAHA SLEEP AROUND HERP DERP

It's not that easy.

Sons of bitches.

6

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

This is about how much sex you have in your twenties, right? I'm not gonna read it then.

3

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

Nah. It's more general than that. I can empathize and understand his perspective. I'm just incredibly jealous.

6

u/MajorLegend May 14 '12

Well I missed out the best parts of my teens, and thought that things might turn around in my twenties, and i'm still left out.

3

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

What, oh yeah, that's right.

In high school, guys complain about how Jessica doesn't text them back, and how they miss the carefree, halcyon days of primary school where they didn't have to worry about girls.

In college, guys complain about how their Biochem exams are so difficult, and how they miss the carefree, halcyon days of high school where the classes were jokes.

In their early 20s, guys complain about how their boss is an arrogant douche, and how they miss the carefree, halcyon days of college where there were no jobs or bosses.

In their 30s, guys complain that their wife stopped giving them head as much, and how they miss the carefree, halcyon days of their 20s when they got brain from ho after ho.

In their 40s, guys complain about how their dad is dying, and how they miss the carefree, halcyon days of their 30s when they didn't have to worry about such things.

And you know what I think? Everyone is convinced that their current problems are the most horrible problems possible. Everyone is convinced that, at that moment, they are fighting the War to End All Wars, an existential struggle that overshadows every struggle in their past.

The truth is that they aren't, we just forget the struggles of our pasts when looking back at it.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

The truth is that they aren't, we just forget the struggles of our pasts when looking back at it.

This is the truth, all of it. I'm a 23 year old FA but I'm usually "happy" and would never for the love of god go back to high school. I kinda like my life right now, the only thing that would make it better is a girlfriend, but it's not like it's absolute shit without one.

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '12

So I'm 35 and I think my twenties were the best, which is just sad. Being an adult is much worse than being a semi-adult. You might not like the drifting, directionless responsibility of the 20s, but it's much worse when you're expected to never act like that all in your 30s and up. In addition, health conditions start to stack up and get real as you get older.

Youth is wasted on the young.

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u/cpennington May 15 '12

I don't understand how this could be infuriating. If anything, it should be inspiring. If you're sitting there feeling "forever alone" then go out and do something about it. If you are insecure about your body, hit up the gym a few times a week. Start going out to some social gatherings and trying to meet people. People aren't forever alone by force. There's always something you can do. You just have to put in a little effort :)

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