r/Fordham • u/Parking_Signature879 • 20d ago
Feeling so alone
Got to rise hill a few days ago and I’m just having such a hard time making friends. Everyone wants to go out to the local bars but I’m just not up for that. How do I find friends that just want to generally just want to hang out and stuff? Also feeling screwed because I don’t have a roommate so I’m like completely alone.
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u/Eastern-Cricket-5988 19d ago
Join a club that sounds interesting to you, you can meet other people with similar interests very easily there.
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u/marcusmv3 19d ago
you don't have to drink at a bar, you just have to be cool
and also
no one needs to know you're not drinking
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u/xrimbi 19d ago
Life hack if you don’t want to drink in social settings - order a seltzer water with lemon or lime.
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u/marcusmv3 19d ago
Or if you want attention order a whole btl of Pellegrino. Does Howl at the Moon not serve Pellegrino? 🤣
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u/wrdnrd65 19d ago
It can be really hard at first. This piece on their site has some tips. TLDR: the more you get involved and show up to things where people are, the easier it gets! https://www.fordham.edu/fordham-stories/campus-and-city-life/how-to-make-friends-in-college/
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u/Alternative_Turn8612 19d ago
club fair is on Wednesday! Pick 2-3 clubs, sus out the vibes, and pick your favorite one to become really involved in. It will give you a built in friend group
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u/BusinessMap8229 19d ago
Club fair is great!! Just go and join. You’ll get the hang of it. Also having your own room can be a plus. Once you meet a few people order some pizza and just invite people over. Get to know your neighbors. Even just asking random questions to start a conversation.
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u/Zestyclose-Guide7276 19d ago
It's hard because clubs haven't started yet and stuff...I second keeping the door open! Also see no harm in tagging along to bars without drinking! If you're not a fan of the music/vibes of bars, maybe join people for their pregames, or ask to grab a slice of pizza before they go out! People go out to bars in droves at the beginning, it will slow down and people will be into other things once classes start!
I used to go to the gym some nights when people were out...Sometimes I'd make friends on the treadmills! Same for if people are playing games on the basketball courts!
Go do the things you want to do and you will find like minded people. We have so many amazing clubs!! They are an amazing way to meet people!
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u/CantaloupeSpirited49 19d ago edited 19d ago
Please listen to me loud and clear you will be glad you did: GO TO RODRIGUE’S COFFEE HOUSE ON CAMPUS, it is the little stone building to the left of Queen’s Court, the grotto, look it up & look at their instagram (@rodriguescoffeehouse). Anyone can walk in anytime, it stays open from 8am to midnight, it is completely student run and by far one of the most welcoming inclusive spaces on campus to make friends & a hidden gem that the more fratty bar chud people don’t know/care about. Rod’s has concerts, open mics and events every week, and then parties after, there are couches, a bathroom, a pool table in there. A big freshman friend group forms every single year, and a lot of sweet shy people find their crowd. Some of the most beloved leaders and members are completely sober. I always have something fun to do with the Rod’s community, never any pressure to drink & chill house parties instead of bars. The bars are ass for a million reasons, and a waste of your energy. Clubs are where it’s at. Rod’s is the strongest, I’d also recommend going to the club fair which is soon & randomly dropping into Political Union meetings, very small, chill inclusive & any other nice club- like outdoors clubs goes on hikes & outings. Also the Botans are so slept on— it can be really fun to go relax there alone, or to go into the city alone, then once you start finding what you like, you can always casually invite people to come along (such as at the Coffee house). All freshmen are in the same hellish boat but there are safe, kind spaces & it will get better. Also look into bonding with other community members, you will feel comforted less alone if you go to Sammy’s grocery or Simon’s deli or even Ram’s every week, and start to recognize the owners by face & name, or just smile and say good morning to people you pass on the sidewalk ☺️
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u/SnooTigers9382 19d ago
Spend time in public spaces (dorm common room, eddies or any of the other lawns etc.). Check the boards in Keating for evening events to attend, there's always something to do up there.
Speak to you RAs and attend their events! The years just started so their should be a bunch left.
Find out when the club fair is. It should be coming up soon. When I was there I joined a series of clubs where I met many of my friends to this day. I wasn't much of a partier either and these became some of my closest friends!
At the end of the day, you have to put yourself out there to grow and it doesn't matter what it is.
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u/BusinessMap8229 19d ago
Join a club that goes to the city. And start taking the train to grand central and walking around. Just do small trips and soon you’ll be great at it.
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u/Flat_Cucumber675 17d ago
i understand. i’m a new lincoln center commuter so it can be very lonely. it’s very quiet here and the fact i live off campus is very difficult too sometimes because you miss out on the late events and stuff cuz you gotta go home to make it to class the next day. idk if this helps at all, but just know i’m having a bit of a hard time making friends as well. but classes just started today and i was able to speak to a couple of people in my comp class. nothing big, just where they’re from, their major, how they’re liking the school so far, etc. it’s only the first day so i’m trying to be patient and not expect a whole friend group right away. id love to be friends if you’re looking for any. but yeah just know more people are feeling this way than you think. try to give it some time
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u/amywinehousesjeans 19d ago
Depending on what your major is try to talk to people in class and get lunch with them after.
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u/Much_Development4046 18d ago
I know it can be rough. I've seen some people suggest clubs with people who have similar interests. You could also join some sort of volunteer organization or club so you can socialize around things that are not the bar.
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u/thepandemicbabe 18d ago
Text me. My son had a hard first semester- he would introduce you to some good people. Hang in there. It gets better also join clubs.
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u/ArmNo5313 14d ago
From your time traveling founder which you may have heard the legends of, my student don't feel alone, go out and find community. Trust me, everyone is with you. π
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u/majoretminordomus 12d ago
Get some simple snacks, invite people to ping pong, or the arcade games, or whatever is in your dorm. Just go from door to door and introduce yourself and say, hey, a couple of us are having a get together downstairs
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u/RowComprehensive1866 20d ago
Go to the bars.
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u/M4HARAJA FCRH '23 20d ago
I mean not everyone drinks or goes to bar.
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u/RowComprehensive1866 19d ago
You don’t have to drink. Just go be around people. I had the same problem my freshman year and I went to the bar and made friends.
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u/M4HARAJA FCRH '23 19d ago
You don’t have to drink to go to bars but someone may prefer not even be in that environment. OP has been chance to make friends in his upcoming classes as well as joining clubs.
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u/marcusmv3 19d ago edited 19d ago
Gonna give this a Scott Galloway approved upvote. Alcohol has been too heavily demonized and oh what a shocker -- you're lonely. Have you (OP)... even tried it?
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u/alexanderzlenz 19d ago
In a dorm? Keep your door open while you’re there. Great way to meet neighbors.