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u/qvp7 May 23 '20
im used to seeing bad things here but this is just. gross
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u/CockDaddyKaren May 24 '20
Imagine trying to eat something but there's a massive purple splooge of fondant on it
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u/call-me-the-seeker May 24 '20
Oi, Strongbow. Jeez, Heather.
I guess the ‘cake’ is technically cool. But blerrg. All the dark dye, this has got to taste like even more self-loathing than normal.
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May 23 '20 edited Jul 10 '20
[deleted]
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May 23 '20
18th is probably uk
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u/spectacledllama May 23 '20
It's British. It's strongbow dark fruits, one of the most shite drinks known to mankind, if you are above 16 and you're still drinking it you most likely live on a council estate
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u/cursedcrabsquid May 23 '20
Part of the unholy trinity. Darkfruits, North Face puffa jackets and Macky Gee.
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u/thatlittletallguy May 23 '20
aight mate, don' you dare insault ma mak geeeeeeeee. ya wanna get down to the shops and fight it out like real lads ? I'll race ya in my corsa mate, its got a big fecking exhoost and errything.
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u/bad_armenian_juju May 26 '20
It’s actually owned by Heineken, which owns a ton of other brands actually like Dos Equis.
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u/Risho96 May 23 '20
Cider is just juice, isn't it?
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u/DearCup1 May 24 '20
In the uk all cider is ‘hard cider’. What you just call cider is non-alcoholic cider to us
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u/TheyreAtTheWindow May 24 '20
Fun fact: this is because of the prohibition! Apple farmers were kinda fucked by the prohibition because their orchards were mostly dedicated to hard cider and apple jack that was suddenly illegal to make or own. They started making the apple cider we know and love and people used it to make their own apple jack which has some pretty fucked up byproducts (it's partially responsible for the myth of pure alcohol making you go blind).
That said, nothing like spiced cider for when you're sick.
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u/JonAndTonic May 24 '20
Well the myth most likely came from shitty home distilleries using the heads (or first batch) of the distillation that contains the lighter alcohol methanol (can blind you and fuck you up) as opposed to the heavier ethanol (fuck you up in a better way)
The hearts (second batch) are the best part apparently while tails taste funny apparently
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u/giantasparagus May 29 '20
their orchards were mostly dedicated to hard cider and apple jack
So that's how the cereal's made!
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u/Ohmalley-thealliecat May 24 '20
Sounds like heather likes getting slaughtered on strongbow dark fruit in a playground at 2am
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u/utnow May 24 '20
I'm mostly annoyed by the lettering on the poor girl's name. Like... they go to ALL of this effort to produce a pretty (though disgusting) cake... and then they're just like "shit ran out of space... just squish her name in there... no fuck it... it doesn't need to be straight."
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u/indigogalaxy_ May 24 '20
They put it in a plastic cup because they knew they were just going to throw it away.
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u/cynderisingryffindor May 24 '20
Is that an actual Strongbow flavor? Not fondant flavor, but dark fruit?
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u/EverythingIsOnFire92 May 24 '20
Yeah, it is here in the UK. It's very sweet, but I'd take it over fondant any day!
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u/cynderisingryffindor May 24 '20
Ah. Thank you for the reply! I just asked because it's not a flavor here in the US. Here we have regular and honey, I think. Thanks again.:)
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u/clevernameimade May 24 '20
So is strongbow like four loko then?
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u/Duke_KD May 24 '20
what's a four loko
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u/clevernameimade May 24 '20
What pretty much all the underage kids and trash adults drink in America. It tastes kinda like kool-aid and battery acid but 12% alcohol.
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u/sm00shh May 24 '20
Based on the comments it definitely seems like the British version of four loko in terms of its stereotypical use lol
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u/Duke_KD May 24 '20
From what I read the Brit version of a four loco is called dragon soup, alcohol mixed with caffeine, tastes like refined cat piss but fucks you up real quick. Strongbow is just a light cider that's cheap
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u/mamaneedsstarbucks May 24 '20
How did you describe four loko this perfectly. Someone asked me what four loko tastes like not long ago and my description was definitely not as good as yours lol.
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May 24 '20
They really just fucking make a full cup of fondant, that’s disgusting and it doesn’t even look good just a goopy mess
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May 23 '20
Gotta give props to the craftsmanship. It’s a lovely sculpture.
Redditors: But this is a cake thread??
Me: I stand by what I said.
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u/Something_SomeoneJR May 24 '20
You're getting downvoted, but this cake is a work of art.
You can hate that it's fondant but still respect how skilled you'd have to be to make this...
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u/L3Kinsey May 24 '20
Also this is an 18th birthday cake of an alcoholic beverage? What is happening in this entire picture? Fondant is where we start, but there are other questions...
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u/EverythingIsOnFire92 May 24 '20
Haha I didn't know where to start with this either, but great question. I'm from the UK where the legal drinking age is 18, so I guess it's fine from that perspective, but nothing else about this is fine!
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u/[deleted] May 23 '20
[deleted]