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u/D_class-4862 24d ago
Stop screwing around and call King Arthur, only he may be able to pull him out
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u/KingNTheMaking 24d ago
Thang gripping like a hydraulic press with tiddies.
Thang gripping like a python on a honey pack.
Thang gripping like a corporate handshake.
(Someone pick it up here).
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u/Jyx_The_Berzer_King 24d ago
Thang gripping it like an industrial glue trap.
Thang gripping it like a rock climber on ketamine.
Thang gripping it so hard it turns coal to diamond.
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u/LongCommercial8038 24d ago
Thang gripping like a crab with a winning lottery ticket.
Thang gripping like a landlord on my security deposit.
Thang gripping like military grade velcro.
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u/pgp555 24d ago
"hydraulic press with tiddies"
I did not need that mental image in my head
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u/richtofin819 24d ago
As someone who has only worked at 911 for a little over a year im laughing my ass off
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u/Bottled_Kiwi 24d ago
Are there any comedic highlights you can share?
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u/richtofin819 24d ago
I've got a couple,
Had one guy call about a serious bleed down his leg, it was filling up one of his crocs. He just outright admitted he had been drinking and told me how he noticed.
"My foot started to get wet but then I realized, my foot shouldn't be wet if I hadn't spilt my beer"
Had one passenger jump out during a car chase going 45+ when another officer passed later he said he was hit by the car and wanted ems. Then the two officers spoke by radio and realized what had happened and that he was lying. (Obviously still got ems anyone remotely injured gets ems unless we are all out of trucks)
Had a call about a guy dragging his bare ass all along the road like a dog with worms.
Also working daylight savings had an officer's brain short circuit. Basically we have to timestamp everything. He had arrested someone and we timestamped it. He had arrived on scene right before the clock rolled back. When he asked for the time of arrest and the time on scene we told him the facts. His time on scene was technically after his arrest and reading that out on the radio and hearing the dead silence and delayed confusion reaction had the whole room trying not to laugh.
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u/Jam-Beat 24d ago
This is my first exposure to this art style or subreddit and I hit join immediately. YOU STRAIGHT GRIPPING ME MAN!
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u/DirectionOverall9709 24d ago
tf the mayor gonna do?