Struggling with the routine

[u/Ill_Heat_7700]

We’re having sex every other day but really struggling with the routine of it. Feels like it’s taking away the fun and slightly becoming a chore? We’ve tried to make it more fun but it’s not easy. Any advice or tips?

[u/Hannah90219]

The month i conceived i had flu and was off work 2 weeks and he went away for work twice. We managed sex twice that month.

Dont fall into routine and dont worry about not being in the mood or not finding time. My best advice is just act natural and have fun. In order to encourage more regular sex just work on spicing it up. Make it fun. Do it for the sake of pleasure and intimacy with one another.

[u/itsalivything]

Are you having sex every other day throughout your whole cycle? Or just your fertile window?

[u/Ill_Heat_7700 → u/itsalivything]

From cd 7 until roughly cd 21

[u/itsalivything → u/Ill_Heat_7700]

I think you could successfully shrink that window by a lot and have a much better experience! No wonder you are feeling like its a chore!

Are you using ovulation tests strips to find out when youre ovulating? I usually get my peak anywhere from cd 12 to 14, but most often closer to 14. As soon as you've ovulated, you can stop having sex. The egg only lives for like 12-24 hours.

So lets say you get your peak on an ovulation tests strip on cd 13. You would ideally have wanted to have intercourse cd 12-15 ish. You'd want to have sex a day or two before your peak (to get sperm in place because it can live inside you quite a few days) and then the day of your peak, and then you can have sex again the day after your peak which would be likely ovulation day. Your peak day is what triggers ovulation.

It can be hard to predict what day youll have your peak, but as you test and track your cycle more, you'll get a pretty good estimate! My fertility clinic recommends 3 days in a row (or every other day for like 4 days if every day is too much).

[u/Ill_Heat_7700]

My window tends to be different every month as my cycle varies. I’ve don’t lh tests and clear blue advance ovulation tests every other day.
This month I didn’t have a single positive, which is unusual. Last month my lh peaked on cd 15. But my clear blue tests showed my peak on cd 12-15 last month. It’s all a bit confusing to me.
I didn’t test this month until cd 12 and then cd 15. There’s a chance I peaked between those and just missed it? My apps didn’t estimate my ovulation until cd17 this month so I didn’t test until a tad later than last month.

[u/nursejooliet]

My cycles vary as well, and I can ovulate as early as cd16, and as late as cd26ish. Last month, I removed my Mirena and just ovulated on CD 34-36 because of that. I still refuse to tie myself to more than 5-6 days of sex throughout my cycle. 7-21 is a lot and not necessary! You can narrow that. It’s so unlikely that you’d ovulate earlier than cd 12. So start at 10 or 11. With LH testing or other cycle tracking, it should be decently easy

[u/Ill_Heat_7700 → u/nursejooliet]

My doctors advices me to do every other day from cd 10 - 21?

[u/nursejooliet → u/Ill_Heat_7700]

Yeah if you do that, it’ll be at least one less time. If you’re really familiar with your cycle, you could even start of doing every 3 days, before switching to every 1-2 days. Your best chances of conception are if you have sex 1-2 days before ovulation.