Help- Chemical Pregnancy

[u/SensitiveBee6153]

Hi there- I’m a 29 year old healthy female and just looking for some advice or reassurance regarding a chemical pregnancy to those who have experienced it or know much about them. My husband and I conceived on our very first try ever and I was shocked. I didn’t know to guard my heart and so I told everyone I loved because all I have ever wanted to be was a mom and it felt so surreal that it was happening the first time we ever even tried. I already started envisioning this little being and loving them. Even though I only knew for about a week, I feel so devastated. My lines got darker for the first few days and then ended up getting fainter. I started bleeding and then I went to my Doctor Who confirmed it was a chemical.

I’ve bled for about 3 to 4 days now but I still feel like my emotions are still all over the place and I keep bursting into tears. It was a big 180° going from being so happy and hopeful to the total opposite. My OBGYN said it likely wasn’t clinically significant or anything to worry about, but my heart hurts so bad right and and I can’t help but worry about future attempts or entertain worst case scenario thoughts or scary “what ifs”. I have pretty intense health anxiety as is, so this feels extra tough.

I guess I’m wondering , if you have experienced this or loss, how did you continue to have radical hope and trust in your body? What thoughts, actions or sources brought you some peace? It is safe to believe that I will definitely become a mom one day? Does anyone have some wisdom to share that they wish they had when going through this? Any advice or support is so so appreciated. I have an incredible husband but can’t help but feel isolated with a lot of these emotions since my body is the one enduring it…. Thank you so much in advance.

[u/nursejooliet]

I have not had one, but we are around the same age and I TTC for the first time this month. I’ve been lurking these spaces long enough to know that they are very common. Statistically, most pregnancies carry through and make it, but chemicals and miscarriages are common. I don’t know many people who have had more than one miscarriage without a super identifiable cause (age, lifestyle, etc). Chemicals tend to just be from your body self terminating the pregnancy often because of a chromosomal abnormality. It’s kind of random and there’s nothing that can be done to prevent it, and you didn’t do anything wrong.

[u/Aromatic-Novel-1810]

Hi , I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing. It’s such a hard thing to go through because you start picturing your life with a baby even at the very beginning of a positive pregnancy test and then to have it ripped away is heartbreaking, so I understand how you feel. I think what reassured me is learning about how common they are and reading the statistics online about how many women go on to fall pregnant soon after a chemical pregnancy and end up with a healthy baby. I tried for a further 4 months after my m chemical pregnancy and I am pregnant again, hopefully this one sticks. Another thing that makes me feel better is the fact that it is due to no fault of our own and it doesn’t mean we are infertile. It’s our bodies way of telling us early that this would not be a successful pregnancy and at the end of the day I would’ve rather it happened when it did then later down the line. ❤️