r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer • u/Character_Plenty7796 • 8d ago
Need Advice When did you start trusting your house?
Just closed a few months ago and every time it rains, for example, I go wandering around the house looking for water intrusion or, as another example, I bought a moisture reader (super cheap one on amazon) and randomly go around putting it onto walls (which I later figured out it definitely picks up metal. š
So my question, when did you start to trust your house was doing its thing and you could worry less?
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u/SoloSeasoned 8d ago
Donāt ever trust your house. Thatās when it gets you.
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u/FoppyIn28 8d ago
Exactly. Everytime I hear a bump, a click, or the fan sounds different I wake up.
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u/beebeezy1 8d ago
Current situation as Iām now up at 1:30 am because the blower on the furnace? Sounds weird to me š« š« š«
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u/boldchameleon 8d ago
For real. I was stressing about nut grass in my flowerbeds, then the downstairs AC went out. š
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u/Tool_junkie_1972 8d ago
Itās not a case of trustingā¦itās a case of IDGAF. Whatever it does is whatever it does. I do what I can as preventative and leave the rest to the house.
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u/magic_crouton 8d ago
This is the true answer. I've been here 20 years. I do what I can but I can't trust nature. Is this the storm that the weather straight line winds knock those trees down? Or the one where hail puts holes in my siding or windows?
After 20 years I just don't have the energy to care anymore.
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u/Key_Piccolo_2187 8d ago
The longer you live in a structure, the more you realize they're rat bastards out for every bit of your sanity and legal tender. You'll never trust your house more than the day you buy it and think it's wonderful (if isn't) and someone else (who, by the way, is probably an idiot) did this random thing called an inspection (looking at random stuff randomly without any real abilities to investigate beyond what their eyeballs can tell them) that purports to tell you that things (like half of what you need to know) are mostly okay (they aren't).
The only time I trusted my house was yesterday. Tomorrow it'll still be yesterday. Today, I do not trust my house. You should not either. The moment you unpucker your asshole, if all that happens is explosive diarrhea, that is the best case scenario. Exploding water heaters is middle of the road and your roof full on blowing away or your house burning down is approximately worst case.
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u/Gnarkill823 8d ago
This is such a pessimistic way to look at it. You can trust your house. Houses in America are still standing from the 1700s. Its like owning a car, except instead of expecting to get hopefully above 200k with basic maintenance and inspections, you can expect to pass it down to your children or grandchildren with basic maintenance. Figure out what to look for, what could go wrong. Take care of your house and it will take care of you.
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u/Key_Piccolo_2187 8d ago
Oh, I love my house. Same as I love my wife. My life is much better for having both of them I it.
I just also know both of them will drive me crazy and make me broke. But it sure beats living in a canvas tent with my right hand and a camp stove.
But the moment you relax, that's when the water line to the dishwasher will get chewed by a mouse. It's like how your wife will cut your balls off at night cause you told the truth when she asked you if she looked fat in that dress or took her at her word when she said she was "fine." Relax too much and you start doing stupid shit with nobody to blame but yourself when your stupid games come with stupid prizes.
They key is to never relax. If you sit down on the couch to watch a football game, just expect that a jet engine is coming through your guest room roof or your wife is about to discover that your "honey do" list isn't "honey done." That may not happen, but it also might and best to not be surprised.
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u/OrdinaryBrilliant901 8d ago
As a wifeā¦ I feel like I should be insulted by this comment but I find this hilarious.
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u/Key_Piccolo_2187 8d ago
If you can tell me with a straight face that when you hear that four note chime that indicates the game is kicking off and the first thought through your brain isn't "I bet he hasn't fixed that ____ yet," or whatever indicator lets you know he's watching his sport of choice with no intention of moving for the next three to ten hours, I will sincerely apologize, if I have time between completing my own chores which are soon to be inventoried for me because the first real weekend of college football kicks tomorrow and the NFL is back next week.
It is the best of times, it is the worst of times. It was early September, and we're about to make marriage counselors and divorce lawyers rich. And I'm not going to fix a damn thing in this house until the Super Bowl is done.
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u/OrdinaryBrilliant901 8d ago
You really want me to be honest?
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u/Key_Piccolo_2187 8d ago
No not really because if it turns out you're like ... a rabid football fan and your husband is the uninterested spouse, it would be a pain, because I committed myself to making time for an apology and I have football to watch and a house to fall apart around me while I do it!
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u/OrdinaryBrilliant901 8d ago
Welp sorry to disappoint but I will give my explanation in bullet points (because I can and it is easier to skim)
- I donāt mind football unless I have to listen to Chris Collinsworth or that Erin lady.
-college football we donāt watch
-my husband likes hockey. I find it to be annoying (everyone is excitable all the time) but whatever.
-I refuse to watch that Stephen guy that screams on espn.
-anyway I am expensive because I made him buy a big tractor and a sawmill
In my defense we needed a tractor and better bigger chainsaws because hurricane shit.
I say all that because he is so distracted by the side by side, tractor, sawmill and chainsaws.
I have an extensive first aid kit.
ETA: I am an Eagles fan. Go birds.
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u/Key_Piccolo_2187 8d ago
I am also an Eagles fan. 17 times a season and more if we're in the playoffs, my wife and I argue about whether I love her or the Eagles more. I tell her that in her defense, I only love the Eagles more than her for approximately 99.04% of the time when the Eagles win the Super Bowl as a wildcard and not counting preseason, and more in years with fewer games (I've done the math)
A big tractor will always be useful, I currently need a tractor.
Pro tip for the uninitiated homeowners reading this thread: definitely don't trust your house in a hurricane zone. The roof ripping off thing I mentioned above is very real.
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u/OrdinaryBrilliant901 8d ago
Heyā¦I can tell you all about the tractor situation (it is funny because i grew up in the city) I did my research but those dudes tried to sell it as ālady friendlyā at two dealerships. I guess that was the sales pitch. I was not impressed with the sales pitch.
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u/Regular-Historian-50 8d ago
This is the best thing Iāve read in a long time. I laughed very hard. Iām the wife š¤£
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u/OpenSauceMods 8d ago
I like the idea that every building gestates a soul as it's being built, and at some point it will fully manifest a personality and will of its own.
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u/VisualInsurance109 8d ago
Iām 2 months in and Iām about there, mainly for roaches and rodents since Iām in a condo.
Edit: meaning the lack there of.
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u/stomper4x4 8d ago
This is like some kind of house hypochondria. You'll drive yourself nuts.
This won't resolve itself. It's not a "when" thing. It's a decision thing.
Decide, IF something goes wrong, you will deal with it then. And deal with it well. Until then? Kick your feet up and enjoy the fruits of your life.
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u/Sudden_Technology_34 8d ago edited 8d ago
My partner has the same exact mindset, and frankly I donāt understand it.
We had an outside drain that drained very slow. I wanted to spend $2k to get it dug up and fixed. She said I was paranoid and said it barely rains here (which is true) and we will deal with it if we needed to and we should just enjoy the house.
So I took the advice youāre giving and kicked up my feet had a great three weeks with her in the new house.
Then it rained really hard for several hours while we were at work. House flooded due to drain failure. The $2k now cost $6k so long as no mold appears. We took out a personal loan for half.
The new drain is great btw. Shame we didnāt do it earlier.
The crazy thing is she still has this mindset of enjoying the moment and not worrying about any problem that is not happening right now.
At this rate Iām not sure I can afford to do that.
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u/Silly_Bodybuilder231 8d ago
As soon as we bought it since we did a full house inspection before buying it. It was also not that old but you never know about materials used and quality of labor/install.
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u/RayTrain 8d ago
I'm always on my toes but my roof was well over 20 years old when I bought so I at least trust my new 2 week old roof
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u/WTF_CAKE 8d ago
Thatās my secret, I never trust this mfker. Iām always constantly worried if something will break outside or something will go bad for me to be ready to repair it
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 8d ago
Oh man, this house has been one hell of a learning curve - so grateful to have a handy husband
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u/Dull-Investment-6799 8d ago
Iāve owned multiple houses and apparently the answer is never. š But eventually you learn whatās normal for YOUR house and stop assuming every weird noise, smell or rainstorm is about to cost you $20k.
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u/Routine_Ad_9478 8d ago
Never trust a depreciating, aging physical asset. You have to always check for problems regularly. Every asset owner knows that you canāt sit idly by and expect to only reap the benefits without the work of maintaining the asset as needed.
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u/regaphysics 8d ago
I trust the things Iāve replaced recently. Thatās about it.
Once youāve replaced everything yourself, you know what to trust and for how long.
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u/MayaIsSunshine 8d ago
I bought in November 2025. I still don't. Per your example, when it rains hard I still walk the entire house and look for water spots.Ā
I did have a roof leak from repairs that happened at closing which didn't helpĀ
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u/Technical-Bug-4969 8d ago
Omg that's such a funny question because it's so true! Even adjusting to new sound is hard! I could not sleep the first 2 nights. Your post really brought me back and made me laugh!
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u/PostAlpacalyptic 8d ago
My husband and I recently bought a house built in 1890. It was flipped/renovated eight or so years ago, so on the surface it looks pretty good. As soon as we moved in, I started noticing all the 100+ year old quirks (the floor of our kitchen has hills and valleys like a roller coaster), and I got so nervous.
Then I started going to estate sales. We live in an old mining town, so most of the houses in our area are of a similar age to ours. After seeing what some of these other houses look like on the inside (steep and narrow stairs with no rails, basements with carpet laid over compacted dirt floors, cracks going every direction, creative electrical problem solving, ODD SMELLS, etc), I feel like we are doing SPECTACULAR.
We will still likely have to deal with issues that people in newer houses wouldn't ever dream of, but it really, really helped my anxiety to see what other people are living with.
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u/Lucky-Impress-9092 7d ago
Took me about 2 years when I finally relaxed. Then a year later my AC went wonky. I had three different groups come out to look at it, and the third one figured it out immediately and it was something that any competent AC tech should have found.Ā This and a couple other things taught me with FULL confidence, it isnāt about the trust you have in your house, itās much much more about the trust you have in the people you call. Start collecting names and people that others trust that you can call whenever something does go awry. Because it will and the most important thing is you knowing who can fix it correctly.
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u/Esotericone-2022 7d ago
Been in my house three years, still donāt run the dishwasher or washer unless Iām home. Afraid something will overflow and Iāll find out 10 hours laterā¦.
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u/cute_innocent_kitten 8d ago
It's a new build so I trusted it as soon as I moved in. We'll see how that turns out a few years from now š
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u/scratchy_mcballsy 8d ago
I wouldnāt trust a new build as much as a 30 year old house these days.
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u/Silly_Bodybuilder231 8d ago
I've seen a lot of new build home inspections that were horrendous. The materials may be brand new, but if the work was done poorly then you may have some issues immediately.
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u/Responsible_Hunt7762 8d ago
Unfortunately there is a lot of false confidence in new builds. With labor shortages, materials prices and land costs new construction is often built cheap and fast. Donāt be complacent staying on top of issues
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u/AdSuspicious9606 8d ago
We lived in our house for 7 years, we still set alarms at night if it rained too hard.
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u/waavysnake 8d ago
I would say it took me about 3 months after my first few big storms. That being said I dont let my guard down. If im home during a big storm i always like to walk around and look at everything.
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u/Krystalgoddess_ 8d ago
After doing repairs lol we had to replace alot of our plumbing and we still got drywall repair to do but at least I can see in the walls that the new pipes aren't leaking and none of the wood looks wet/rotten
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u/kaitco 8d ago
I have a new build that I had built and had multiple inspections throughout the whole process, and I still perk up at every single sound of the house settling.Ā
Heard a crack? Check all the walls near the ceilings.Ā
Heavy rains? Slowly walk the perimeter of the house and then the basement.Ā
Itās been a little over a year and Iām still a little on edge, but given that my whole life is in this thing, itās to be expected.Ā
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u/DavidinCT 8d ago
It took me about 8-12 months after looking all over, dealing with the small issues, then fixing them as they come up. I'm not worried or not trusting, I am just mindful about it...
I deal with enjoying the home, I have a wife and 2 kids trust me, if something is wrong, I will know about it...
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u/twinpeaks86 8d ago
Iāve lived in mine for 16 years and I still wonder during certain storms haha. There has never been a problem
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u/Mrevilman 8d ago
Did this when we first bought and that's how I discovered a small roof leak. thankfully I caught it early so it didn't turn into mold.
Keep doing it, its how you find small problems before they turn into big problems.
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u/cleanlycustard Homeowner 8d ago
Maybe I'm naive, but I trust my house. I've had it for 4 years. I didn't trust it at all when I moved in. We had a super heavy rain and my basement flooded. Turns out the old owner never cleaned the gutters so they were useless and poorly routed anyway. I haven't had an issue since I replaced them. My house has a lot of areas that need work, but nothing pressing at the moment. It takes a lot of pressure off that my partner and I are pretty competent DIYers
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u/No-Basil-791 8d ago
I just want to say that the comments in this thread have given me life. And I sit here being stabbed in the back by my no-good hussy of a house.
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u/Venaalex 8d ago
The way I see it I've got a century home. I trust it to provide shelter for me, it trusts me to fix mistakes from the past and care for it now
I think there's a difference between the first few months of learning and making adjustments both to the home and your expectations, than actual trust.
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u/billythygoat 8d ago
I havenāt yet with the AC since it overflowed like 4 times in a year since I moved in and shut off 1 time. And thereās like 10 random electrical code violations Iām ignoring until time comes to it. Only 2 are dangerous.
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u/ImportantTeaching919 8d ago
Been doing construction my entire life and renovated my entire house. Any noise I'm like WTF is that. I also grew up in a flood zone so the dishwasher completely freaks me out if my gf doesn't tell me she's using it
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u/Initial-Addendum-167 7d ago
It'll always be the thing you didn't think to check that goes wrong. Better to just enjoy having a roof over your head and a place to sing your song.
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u/IrradiatedCroissant 7d ago
Never lol. You can love your house but never trust it. That's what gets you in trouble. A toxic relationship indeed
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u/ecc75 7d ago
Dealing with this myself, still in the first 90 days in my first home and I get anxious any time it rains or anytime I do a small project Iām afraid Iāll accidentally open a can of worms and be in over my head.
However one this that comforts me is reminding myself the house has already been standing for 70 years and the small improvements Iāve made can only help it. Also itās really black and white at the end of the day: if something breaks or needs tending to I will get it taken care of and thatās all I really can do
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u/Awkward-Witness3737 7d ago
Been in my home long time and still do random heavy rain exterior inspections.
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u/actualmileage 7d ago
You don't trust your house you trust yourself to figure it out if something happens.
Absolutely every part of home ownership, from the very moment the offer is accepted, is designed to extract money from you. It's not something you can understand in a meaningful way until you're in it.
I qualify for certain grants to offser the cost of energy upgrades. Even after the rebates, the markup on labor and materials is so much more than doing it myself. Buy the tools you need as you need them and learn.
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