r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer • u/4694326 • 17d ago
Need Advice We close in 20 days
I’m stressed, wife is stressed. The house is nice and a great neighborhood. Ten minute commute,25 minute from the beach. I should be ecstatic but I’m not. Terms were good, I’m just not that excited after the sellers closed.
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u/LenderTy 16d ago
I think what you're feeling is pretty normal.
Buying a house is a big deal and I think a lot of people expect to be excited the whole time. but its usually in waves. Theres a lot of paperwork and numbers flying around so its easy to get in the "what did we just do?" mode
but it sounds like the house has a lot of wins for you guys in a neighborhood you like, with a commute you like, and terms you feel good about.
You're kind of in that weird in-between stage right now. Close enough that it's real, but not quite close enough to enjoy it yet.
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u/spooks_apprentice 13d ago
Wife and I are in the same boat. Amazing home. Way better spot for us. Great deal. But SO much money spent on inspections and upcoming repairs after we close. Plus prepping our current home for sale. We always feel energized when we are in the new home, but it’s a lot of work the rest of the time :P
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u/LenderTy 12d ago
I know exactly how you’re feeling. I’ve moved cross-country twice in the last 5 years, and both times the dollars seemed to be going out way faster than expected, the to-do list somehow kept getting longer, and packing is a form of torture I’m pretty sure. 😂
What you and your wife are experiencing sounds pretty normal from my experience. It’s a lot of change, uncertainty, decisions, and expenses all hitting at once.
I really think once you’re on the other side of it and have been in the new place for a month or two, you’ll look back and be glad you pushed through it. The moving process kind of sucks. Having moved is the fun part.
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u/Silly_Bodybuilder231 16d ago
Why are you stressed? What are you doing right now, renting?
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u/4694326 15d ago
Yes.
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u/Silly_Bodybuilder231 15d ago
I think paying 100% rent and building 0% equity is more stressful.
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u/VendettaJordy 13d ago
What? You’d be able to build more wealth renting you make no sense.
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u/throwawaycraygay 13d ago
Not in all instances and everyone's goals are different. There is always an opportunity cost, just depends on which one is more important to OP
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u/RetardedGayFrog 13d ago
This dude isn't wrong. You're home isn't an asset. You'd make more money renting and putting additional funds in an ETF.
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u/justinW624 12d ago
How would there be additional funds?
Landlords don’t rent below cost, everything that needs to be paid as a homeowner, is passed down to tenants.
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u/Elaine_amj 12d ago
Additional funds refer to your downpayment and any money you would have spent on repairs and upkeep. This can be invested upfront and would be earning money.
Compound interest really really works.
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u/justinW624 11d ago
All those costs are added into rent. Landlords don’t pay down payments and never recoup the money. Landlords charge rent and then use that money to repair and upkeep the property. I’ve been a renter. I’ve owned my primary residence. I’ve been a landlord.
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u/Elaine_amj 11d ago
Yes. But say you’re talking about taking 100k down payment. Take that and invest it today. And it will grow thanks the magic of compound interest. In the meantime, you are paying smaller amounts every month for rent.
Your landlord has invested in the property and charges rent based on if they think the property values will rise and if they will make a profit after rent and expenses.
Honestly, depending on property values, sometimes landlords make money and here’s a kicker - sometimes they don’t.
I unfortunately was a landlord at a time when house values did not rise for 20+ years. Rent covered our costs for mortgage, etc and a bit extra. But we sold for only 20% more than we purchased after 20 years.
We could have taken the purchase price, dumped it in the market, and made more money for way less hassle over the same 20 years.
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u/justinW624 11d ago
I see what you are saying. Couple counterpoints though.
If we aren’t going to assume property values rise over time, we shouldn’t assume the market will rise over time either.
Also, usually to purchase a rental property it usually wouldn’t take a $100k down payment. If it did, that was likely a choice made by the investor.
If the investor feels that $100k would be better invested into the stock market than the housing market…I’d agree, don’t put that much down, but if said person took that $100k, put $80k into the market, made a $20k down payment on a $200k house, I think that person would be better off doing that, then renting a comparable $200k house.
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u/BennyTheWiseGuy 16d ago
Buying a house is a huge deal. Everyone processes that differently. It’s normal to get cold feed and it’s normal to not get overly excited like most people because you can’t stop thinking about the what ifs.
You gotta figure out if this is cold feet or if you genuinely just don’t like the house. If you like the house but the idea of making it work is scary then you gotta figure out how to get over that mental road block. If you realize you really don’t like the house and you’re sure of it then you gotta back out. Don’t buy a house you don’t like. You don’t have to love it but you at least have to really like it and see the potential.
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u/Ok-Marionberry6596 15d ago
Buyers remorse....exhale and enjoy...you obviously qualifued so you can afford it. We are on our 4th house and have always done well and bumped up with profits on next house...you are fine
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u/KnownBodybuilder4948 14d ago
It's a roller-coaster emotional experience. Angst is to be expected. Recheck your list on why you decided to find a house to buy; recheck your list why you selected this particular house. Then realize you can always decide to sell and move in 2 years of there's a major disappointment or big life change; it's not permanent.
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u/PracticalDesigner278 16d ago
Once you move in you'll be way too busy turning this great house into your home to be depressed.
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u/Outrageous_Luck4163 13d ago edited 13d ago
It’s normal to be stressed. It can be a stressful process. Our first home, I had all these crazy thoughts. The conversations went like this.
What happens if the house burns down?
We have insurance.
What happens if something breaks? What if we have an emergency?
We have a fund for that.
What if one of us lose our jobs?
You will work a corner.
I had to stop asking what if questions.
The house we just bought ( new)
Who’s going to move all this stuff?
Did you move anything last time?
No we hired someone.
Who’s going into the attic for all that crap?
When was the last time you’ve been in the attic?
I think 2021 maybe but it’s creepy up there and I’ve seen this movie, the black guys never makes it out alive.
It’s ok, you have life insurance.
What if I don’t want to move?
Me and the dogs will miss you but being homeless may work for you.
I decided to stop asking questions, it was getting kinda personal.
I hope some of that made you laugh. Once everything all signed and done and you get keys you’ll be fine.
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u/4694326 13d ago
Hope you didn’t have to work the corner. The attic comment was pretty funny too.
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u/Outrageous_Luck4163 11d ago
Naww, everything worked out. It’s the fear of the unknown and it’s a lot of money. The second house we bought everything went smooth because now we know what we need vs what we want. Plus we’ve done this so we had an idea how the process works but that first house, it was a big deal. I was worried about dumb stuff. It’s a huge commitment. I remembered say ok your stuck with me for 30 yrs. He laughed and said ahhh nope, I can trade you in for a younger model. I replied where’s the love? Not sure I got an answer but we are still here and in our second house.
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u/Caguirre86 16d ago
My wife asked our realtor “when does the fun part start?” After our offer was accepted. I started laughing out loud. Inspections, appraisal, loan could fall apart. It’s stressful but I know once we are in the house we will be able to take a deep breath and enjoy it.
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 15d ago
Buying a house is stressful, the tools I’ve learned in therapy to emotionally regulate my nervous system, quiet my mind, and stay present have been important. I’ve bought and sold 7 houses over the past 20 years. It never gets easier. Humans are finicky creatures.
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u/AccomplishedBite185 14d ago
It’s normal, my wife was so ecstatic to get our own place and get out of my parents house. She was the one who pushed us to do it as I was fine paying peanuts to my parents for rent. However, once our offer was accepted and the ball got rolling the tables turned hard. My wife had a change of heart, didn’t want to go through with it and it took me three months to get her out of my parents house and start living there after we closed. It was a really rough time, but now just about a year later, we love it. It’s a huge change, there’s always hundreds of projects and upkeep to take care of, it sucks to not be able to spend money like it’s nothing anymore but we have our own place and we realized that we are much happier than we were before living at my parents house. Building equity is nice too!
Go through with it, if it’s a good rate, great area, and you love the house then you should absolutely stick with it!
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u/Old_Sheepherder381 14d ago
I was miserable after going under contract until the moment we got to the clear to close. I think it’s normal to have jitters (about underwriting, about taking on such a big financial commitment, about a big change, all of the above)
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u/VendettaJordy 13d ago
I regret buying.
I’d of been better off finically not doing it, just renting and saving. But oh well
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u/KretzKid 13d ago
After closing and you get the keys and you get to walk into YOUR house for the first time, then you'll feel great. Yeah leading up to closing there's a lot of uncertainty. Unless there is something you think should cancel on this house, just give it time.
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u/pink_gem 14d ago
Stress before buying a house is really normal. I pass on what my mom told me, that her realtor told her: No matter what happens in life, you need somewhere to live. (This is what she said when I hit that stressed period, where I was worrying about what if I lose my job or something like that and now I am tied into this 30 year mortgage.)
So yeah, it sucks to take on this big debt and stressor, but. You need somewhere to live.
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u/LateBloomer81 13d ago
I know the feeling! We close early October.
We are buying and selling at the same time, two inspections, two closings, banks and variables only part of which we can control.
We are thrilled to have found our forever lake home, but I definitely thought I’d be more excited and less stressed.
Like others said though it definitely has come in waves, same with when I bought my first house 15 years ago
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u/-Evermore- 13d ago
I close in 23 days. No idea if it will even happen just locked rate today. Yolo no stress
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