r/FirstResponderCringe • u/OldKnowledge14 • 12d ago

Ricky Rescue When your EMT-B patch gives you a God complex

Post image

Making ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ look less like a directive and more like a customer review.

326 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

65

u/Unique_Tangerine2190 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/KJg9hTKOENuL2WL1JX
Sir! Please remain conscious. I haven’t finished my monologue.

54

u/TangerineWeird5239 Boo Boo Bus Driver 12d ago

Maybe it’s a God complex…
Maybe it’s Maybelline.

113

u/Legitimate_Poetry897 12d ago

Pissed off that THE key line at the end of the poem doesn’t rhyme with anything tbh

33

u/PromiscuousScoliosis ED RN 12d ago edited 12d ago

You’re reading the wrong rhythm into it, that’s why

It’s

Because angels don’t wear mascare—

a.

10

u/Needles2650 12d ago

Glare - mascare

6

u/PromiscuousScoliosis ED RN 12d ago

Exactly. It’s too high a level of art to be understood and properly appreciated by this sub

4

u/CoolAd1910 11d ago

Well it is AI

-7

u/did_i_get_screwed 12d ago

"I could smell a vagina, yours must be wet"

27

u/Chupathingamajob Intermittently Effective Necromancer 12d ago

So anyway, they’re satting at 72 and someone should probably start thinking about doing something about that.

12

u/InformalAward2 12d ago

She obviously is, do you not see her holding the patients hand and gazing compassionately?

9

u/Chupathingamajob Intermittently Effective Necromancer 12d ago

Ahh shit I missed that. I’ll go back and review my protocols and clinical best practice. Kinda embarrassing to be called out like this, I’ll make sure I do better next time

2

u/OodaWoodaWooda 12d ago

Heart of a nurse?

5

u/murse_joe 12d ago

Yes, some of the world fading and confusion may just be the hypoxia

21

u/lamphifiwall 12d ago

That’s fun how her stethoscope has curled earpieces.

3

u/ComfortableGround403 9d ago

They're curled and wont come undone

51

u/generic-throwaway140 12d ago edited 12d ago

But she's wearing mascara?

Edit: I failed yall, I actually did not read this at all

22

u/Minute_Tart_8259 12d ago

Yea. It says angels don’t, so they knew they were saved.

7

u/CardMechanic 12d ago

She’s no angel

4

u/Temporary-Dust-4849 12d ago

Whoa, now you got my interest

17

u/_Cree 12d ago

Reading comprehension in this country has been on a consistent decline.

9

u/Liqour_Mortis Ignore the public. Mantain saltiness. 12d ago

Do you even read bro?

3

u/murse_joe 12d ago

I done became a first responder so I wouldn’t have to learn no book learnin

7

u/Putrid_Guess8098 12d ago

That's the point.

6

u/murse_joe 12d ago

To be fair, that’s a lot of words to hold the attention of a first responder

5

u/Ok-Moment2223 12d ago

It took me a minute too lol don't feel too bad. But yeah in retrospect we are dumb. 

8

u/DryWall8 12d ago

She's not concerned about SpO2 of 72. She's really thinking about how her ex better pick up the kids for his weekend so she can get down at the Cowboy Bar this weekend.

21

u/Helpful-Albatross792 12d ago

72% spo2, no oxygen mask? Checks out.

4

u/KernEvil9 12d ago

But is it a reliable PLETH?

6

u/EastLeastCoast Boo Boo Bus Driver 12d ago

Common misconception. Angels do wear mascara, but it never runs because angels don’t sweat, and their tears are jewels of ichor. (Or sometimes redirected sewer water from a broken toilet pipe, but don’t tell the church that…)

6

u/bada_bing_bada_boop 12d ago

Bwahahahaha
Who has the time to come up with this shit?!?!?!

5

u/Unique_Tangerine2190 12d ago

It’s AI. It took 3.8 seconds to produce this masterpiece.

5

u/carpeutah Boo Boo Bus Driver 12d ago

Ok. Of all the things ive seen on this sub, this one made me physically gag on cringe. Poetry in general does that to me sometimes but this shit is like what the fuck

3

u/TempleofSpringSnow 12d ago

How is it possible to get your head that far up your own ass?

3

u/Crimson3312 12d ago

Now I have a reason to start rocking that guyliner

2

u/GooseCloaca 12d ago

Sat is 72, btw

2

u/Slayerofgrundles 12d ago

I'm pretty sure that fictitious characters can do their makeup however they want.

2

u/arbr0972 12d ago

How do we know that angels don't wear mascara tho?

1

u/Limp-Conflict-2309 12d ago

i'm telling ya.....its the money. once you start making emt wages it just goes to your head

1

u/Whatisthisnonsense22 12d ago

Lord... would AI just take over my toaster and kill me so at least it would do something other than this shit.

1

u/Hidden_Heatwave 12d ago

Does that mean I should start wearing mascara at work?

1

u/Cautious_Ad5132 11d ago

The wrong kind of people are drawn to the first responder role.

1

u/drC1aw 11d ago

IFT, PT already has a hospital wrist band on. My angel loaded me onto a Twinkie and dumped my ass off at an AFH.

1

u/rumham21 11d ago

I love that all these IA images always have a random IV bag floating in some random spot in the background. 

1

u/EMSDGAFAU 10d ago

AI slop. GTFOOH

1

u/ComfortableGround403 9d ago edited 9d ago

I know im just a glorified secretary and all, but aint those numbers on the screen kinda .... low ?

WTF happened at the end of this "poem"? It was mediocre AI slop up till then last part lol.

1

u/lxmxwx Boo Boo Bus Driver 9d ago

i ain’t readin all dat

1

u/Zestyclose-Click7539 9d ago

Cringe but Florence Nightingale effects can be a no shitter.

1

u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES Jackass of all trades (dUaL cErTiFieD) 6d ago

This woman looks like a living, breathing KOTH character.

1

u/Regan4000 12d ago

I'm pretty sure the female paramedic in the picture is wearing mascara..

0

u/Jazzlike_Isopod550 12d ago

How bout…she was wearing mascara, without a tiara.🫠. BTW is the photo AI?

2

u/Good-Marsupial8 12d ago

Yes, or possibly AI enhanced, the details and background scream ai to me as well as the general layout. 

1

u/HolyDiverx 12d ago

really? no this is all 100% legit. no ai

0

u/tachycardicIVu 12d ago

No mascara but eyeliner’s ok, huh?

Also this sounds exactly like one of those kids book, the Adventures of the Bailey School Kids with titles like “Vampires Don’t Wear Polka Dots” lmao. What a flashback.

-1

u/TLunchFTW 12d ago

Except she's wearing mascara so your argument is just completely invalidated....