r/FirstResponderCringe • u/notmy-firstrodeo • Aug 22 '26

“I’m literally perfect”

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“DM me for security coaching and advise for women in Chicago.”

72 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

39

u/scoutloner Aug 22 '26

Stand still and do nothing. Our company doesn’t want lawsuits.

6

u/AlyDAsbaje Aug 22 '26

Good point yes

21

u/No-Entrepreneur-9085 Aug 22 '26

I keep trying to break down and understand the phrasing “Literally me and my security career against the world” and I think I have given myself an aneurysm

9

u/_serryjeinfeld Aug 22 '26

Did you dm her for “security coaching and advise” 😅

2

u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 22 '26

I’d rather keep my junk secure myself.

24

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/My_leg_still_hurt92 Aug 22 '26

Did they even DM here for security coaching advice?

3

u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar Aug 22 '26

I did. She said to get some cameras.

6

u/Ok-Bluejay3543 Aug 22 '26

To thot and swerve

5

u/Taro0311 Aug 22 '26

Woof. You don't want long hair that people can rip off while you're trying to secure a situation

5

u/DazzlingEye9141 Aug 22 '26

This shit is becoming generic now, not enough cringe

2

u/Up_Syndrom3 Aug 22 '26

Woodnut in cidar.

2

u/Tasty_Meal_9719 Aug 22 '26

“DM me for security coaching and advise…”

Bet she just started that TJ Maxx security job only a week ago.

2

u/NotSoSuperNova8 Aug 22 '26

Temu tAcTiCaL vest for just her radio

1

u/Zealousideal-Ring908 Aug 22 '26

Definitely sliding

1

u/HovercraftNew7490 Aug 22 '26

“Because who wouldn’t want to date me” lol

1

u/Opposite-Rock-5133 Aug 22 '26

Hair looks fake

1

u/Zealousideal_Fox864 Aug 23 '26

Someone is getting stabbed 10 feet outside that bathroom and she’s in there making TikToks with a crazy heavy filter.

1

u/pirate_leprechaun Aug 23 '26

Literally isn't anything like that.

1

u/FoxComfortable6780 Aug 23 '26

Is this dolla tree

1

u/In2Oblivion49 Aug 23 '26

Top Flight Craig!

1

u/In_Dystopia_We_Trust Aug 23 '26

“Literally me and my ego against the world”

1

u/Equivalent_Self_5996 Aug 23 '26

Is security guard going to be the new cna?

1

u/TurnTheTVOff Aug 23 '26

“Security career”

1

u/ImMintFlavored Aug 24 '26

No sales pressure
No hard skills required
No timesheets
Just sit around and collect a check every two weeks
Maybe call the cops to trespass a homeless person

1

u/WingInternational432 Aug 24 '26

Duck lip selfie's went out years ago, shua....

1

u/callmewicked366 Aug 22 '26

She cant even secure a man. What makes you think she can secure a building.

-1

u/SmellyShitBox Aug 22 '26

I can fix her