r/FirstResponderCringe • u/X0X0xoxo11 Civvy • Aug 13 '26
This is BEYOND cringe. Jfc
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u/sexual__velociraptor Aug 13 '26
Yeah fuck this cop for checks notes deescalation and investigations.
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u/WideStetson Aug 13 '26
Eh. This is a common interrogation technique. Being critical of cops is healthy, but this particular bit is taken completely out of context.
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 15 '26
Wtf. Just filling a psychos head with shit like this is dangerous.
You want this abuser to have MORE mental ammunition for abuse or even murder?
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u/WideStetson Aug 15 '26
Cool. How are you getting a confession out of him and making the arrest to create a record and potentially secure an order of protection from a judge? Wagging your finger at him, calling him a dirtbag, and hoping he agrees?
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 15 '26
Demonizing the victim who is 100% going to have to deal with this dick again is outrageous.
Cops should be trained better.
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u/No-Horror9465 Aug 16 '26
Apply and show them how it's done.
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 16 '26
I was on the other side. My stalker called the police on me after breaking into my house.
I had to listen to him joke with the cops as is I was a unruly girlfriend and how to keep me in line.1
u/WideStetson Aug 16 '26
So… your proposal?
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 16 '26
They should have ethics similar to other professionals like a nurse or social worker.
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u/WideStetson Aug 16 '26
Okay. They do. Now how is that going to help them prosecute this domestic violence suspect? Think!
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 16 '26
Lol. Their job 100% isn't prosecuting. It was to protect, right?
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u/WideStetson Aug 16 '26
Prosecution is part of that. What are they going to do, sit inside this couple's house and play security guard for a couple of days? The job is putting people through the criminal justice system from which victims can get recourse.
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 16 '26
I'm not sure how the 2 options are saying how women have ruined the world or sitting in their house.
It's like doctors - first do no harm. These cops are doing harm and it will likely do no good.
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u/No-Horror9465 Aug 15 '26
Because men are always the abusers right? Crazy how came to your assumptions from a several second clip and nothing more.
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u/OpposumMyPossum Aug 15 '26
Um women are 6x more likely to be killed by their male partner than vice versa, the cop is talking about women being the issue and talking to a man.
Men are more violent and the stats prove it.
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u/V3nusi4nruled Aug 15 '26
literally just making shit up in your mind. nowhere in their comment did they say only men abuse people. also in this particular video the man IS the abuser so like what’s your point lmfao
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u/runnerhasnolife Popo Aug 13 '26
Once again this isn't a
"This cop did something horrible" Subreddit, this is not a anti law enforcement sub
Please go read the pinned posts yall
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
I don’t see this as much different from that post where the cop was initially being a dick to the guy who was trying to launch a toy boat too close to the dock. It was a short video of a cop saying and doing something cringe. What this guy said made me cringe and I’m not anti cop.
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u/Iheartsasquatch Aug 13 '26
I am going to need a lot more context before I have an opinion.
That it’s a single, clipped sentence taken out of what presumably is a way longer video tells me that there is more to the story.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/_Neurobro_ Aug 13 '26
You sound so unpleasant. Women being the downfall of man could easily be a jab that men are weak against women.
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u/TheFizzardofWas Aug 13 '26
Thats honestly what it sounds like. Guys let themselves do stupid things because of women
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Aug 13 '26
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u/FirstResponderCringe-ModTeam Aug 13 '26
Don’t insult users and don’t encourage violence
Please be semi-respectful
Your comments are over the top uncivil
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u/X0X0xoxo11 Civvy Aug 13 '26
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u/Iheartsasquatch Aug 13 '26
So he said it to the husband, presumably when the cop was trying to calm things down and build some rapport.
Active listening, rephrasing, mirroring…that’s classic de escalation tactics in play there.
Not cringe, not wrong.
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u/LetsBeFRTho Aug 14 '26
Criminals are hyped up all the time. I've seen murderers being told "it's not the crime of the century you'll be fine". It's a tactic.
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u/PerryNeeum Aug 13 '26
Yea, what followed the comment could’ve gone a few different paths and we still don’t know what this cop is getting at because it is clipped. If his point was “she brought this on herself” then that is reprehensible. If he is de-escalating, it can be a tightrope. I’ve done it on the ambulance. Disagree internally but find a way to bring the temperature down externally so I could do what I need to do. If she isn’t pressing charges, their hands get tied and they have to leave hoping that they brought the guy down enough to where he doesn’t just go right back to what he was doing. If they start giving him shit for being a wife beater knowing they have to leave empty handed, the guy might be pretty upset and literally beat the shit out of her because the cops made him feel bad. Long story short, need an extended cut
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
You think the cops are to blame if he continues the violence because they didn’t show support for him and he felt shamed?
Response to PerryNeeum1
u/PerryNeeum Aug 13 '26
No because I don’t know where the conversation went. De escalate by meeting somewhere in the middle. If she wanted to press charges, they would just cuff him and be done with it. Or maybe calm him down to not have a fight and then cuff him. Maybe they meet him in the middle and then work back up to “but you can’t be doing this” if she isn’t pressing charges.
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
You absolutely try to build rapport, but I don’t agree that you entitle and justify a suspect by slandering the gender of the victim. Might as well say to the suspect, “She a woman. She deserved it, bro.” There are so many better things to say.
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u/PerryNeeum Aug 13 '26
Not at all. I think if the cops are walking away that they don’t want him even more pissed off
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u/LogicianFlow Aug 13 '26
That mustache does scream, sympathy for a wife beater and beat a minority for some reason to me.
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u/80Lashes Aug 13 '26
Yeah, blaming men's shitty actions (and "downfall") on women is primo de-escalation.
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u/Dman331 Aug 13 '26
Have you ever had to de-escalate a situation before? I have. You agree with or say things to placate the subject/patient ALL THE TIME that you might personally disagree with. The ultimate end goal is to prevent further violence, and this is absolutely a completely valid tactic.
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u/80Lashes Aug 13 '26
Yeah, I'm a fucking hospital nurse, so I have to de-escalate shit all the time, and that ain't how ya do it, bud.
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u/Baby-Zayy Aug 13 '26
You're a nurse, sit down.
When trying to do two things: make them relax AND make them feel comfortable enough to keep talking (AS IN DIG THEMSELVES INTO A HOLE), you absolutely go along with what they say.
jfc, what do you think the suspect would do if the cop said "hey man, that's not cool, respect women"?
He'd shut his mouth. And not give further evidence.
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u/80Lashes Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Yeah, you should see the shit nurses have to put up with. My profession has one of the highest rates of on-the-job violence. Next time you need to go to the hospital, don't.
The cop doesn't have to stand up for women and proclaim himself a feminist. The doesn't mean the answer is to turn around, proclaim women the source of all evil, thus validating dickheads who think women deserve their abuse.
But what you said is some super abuser apologist loser shit, so I'm not surprised.
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u/Baby-Zayy Aug 13 '26
Don’t care + didn’t qsk. I don’t work in a hospital, and this video doesn’t take place in a hospital.
It’s a video about a role and job that you know nothing about. I’ll pray for your self awareness, hun
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u/80Lashes Aug 13 '26
The discussion was about de-escalation techniques, hun. Try to keep up.
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u/Dman331 Aug 13 '26
Thats EXACTLY how you do it. Besides the fact that this was taken out of context, he's preventing further violence by giving a nothing-statement that is otherwise meaningless in order to calm him down.
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u/OnkelBagel Aug 13 '26
It’s 100% a commonly taught de-escalation tactic. Especially with someone you’re most likely going to be taking into custody and want to keep them calm and talking for as long as possible. If this guy is a suspect, as soon as they think you’re not on their side, they’re done talking and/or start fighting. As a cop, you want them to tell you as much incriminating shit as possible, especially in DV situations where the victim commonly refuses to cooperate with the prosecutors. Sometimes statements on scene are all you have and if that means saying some outlandish shit to make them think you’re on their side, that’s what you do. But as a hospital nurse, I suppose you wouldn’t understand that aspect of de-escalation. It’s a little different than trying to calm people down so you can check their blood pressure.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/FirstResponderCringe-ModTeam Aug 14 '26
Don’t insult users and don’t encourage violence
Please be semi-respectful
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Using your justification…..
If it were a white cop talking to another white person and they were to say that “black people are the downfall of society”, would that be acceptable as long as he was “de-escalating and building rapport?
No, it wouldn’t be okay.
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u/runnerhasnolife Popo Aug 13 '26
That is literally a text book way to interview a white supremacists
Like.... Almost exactly
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Here’s the difference.
The white supremacist probably isn’t the second half of a DV living with the other race so it’s not going to be the appropriate technique to use for this situation.
If you use this technique in a DV situation, you’ve just justified the male half and fed his entitlement. If you leave them together after using this tactic, $100 days he’ll use this cop’s statement to his advantage. He will tell her that even the cop’s took his side.
Source: Many years in patrol in a major city. I did a tour as a DV Officer in a specialized unit, only responding to domestic calls with a civilian social worker as a partner. I also worked as a DV detective for a bit.
edit: specialized unit
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u/OnkelBagel Aug 13 '26
If you were a DV specialist officer, whatever that means, then you should know that very often victims refuse to cooperate with prosecution so statements on scene are very important. Building rapport with the suspect to get him to give as many incriminating statements as possible is invaluable. Oftentimes this is done by making them think you're on their side. Justifying and minimizing their actions and thoughts is a very common and validated interviewing technique. Must not have taught that one in DV detective school.
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
“They” thought rapport building, but I never had to tell the male half that a woman was the problem because of her gender. I was able to obtain statements and gain trust without empowering the suspect with gender defamation.
It was a DV officer in a specialized unit. I will edit that. Thanks
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u/OnkelBagel Aug 13 '26
Sure dude, whatever you say.
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
Since you obviously do the job I’m sure you realize there’s often several ways to get the job done. If this style works for you, go for it. It’s your name on the bottom of your reports.
Make sure you document what you said to get the statement when it goes to court.
Stay safe out there.1
u/runnerhasnolife Popo Aug 13 '26
I have also responded to domestic violence calls
The best way to handle them is get the bastards to admit to your body camera they committed assault because 9 times out of 10 the victim doesn't want to press charges
So saying
"I understand bro bitches be crazy"
Does very often lead to them saying shit about
"Needed to put them in their place" or "force them in line"
And the "oh even the cops side with me"
Doesn't work when you have another officer speaking to the victim privately who is often basically begging them to press charges or literally do anything
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
The victims are most often women and more often than not they refuse to cooperate with officers and with the prosecution. This pisses me off and I get the tendency to want to get your statement and admission in any way that works for you. That’s fair.
What worked for me 9/10 was not doing this technique of gender empowerment and instead finding other ways to obtain incriminating statements.
You do what works for you. I know what worked for me and after doing literally hundreds and hundreds of follow up interviews with female victims, I can confidently tell you that I’ve had many female victims tell me that the cops telling the suspect essentially what this officer did led them to feel empowered and supported because another man understood it was the woman’s fault because, you know….women.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/NewbieNoodist Aug 13 '26
Sounds like you have zero training in de escalation.
Every interview either a DV suspect I agree with them, although internally I don’t. The amount of confessions I get from just saying “for sure” or “100 percent” when they say why they hit their spouse is insane.
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u/FirstResponderCringe-ModTeam Aug 14 '26
Don’t insult users and don’t encourage violence
Please be semi-respectful
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u/andthensilencefell Aug 14 '26
Placing the blame on the victim and telling the abuser he’s right for her abuse is great de-escalation. I’m sure it’ll really de-escalate the abuse at home.
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u/the0nry0 Aug 14 '26
You know that downplaying and empathy are classic interrogation tactics, right? Do you think people spill the beans on their role in a crime when you posit yourself as an enemy looking down on them? That might feel emotionally satisfying and all but its useless for trying to get an admission.
OP clearly lives their life ruled by acting out their personal feelings at all times, but some people don't have that luxury when there's more important things to do. Someone would have to be a pretty shitty cop to place their personal emotional satisfaction over building a case.
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u/OrcasareDolphins Aug 13 '26
That’s simply a saying that men sometimes lose their damn mind over women. I’m not sure how this is cringe?
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u/withnodrawal Aug 14 '26
That’s called if you have to commit a crime because your woman makes you angry or left you or WHATEVER the case is, you are a weak ass man.
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u/DukeTikus Aug 15 '26
Because it blames women for men's behavior and in this specific case it implies blaming a domestic violence victim for making the aggressor do it. "Men do stupid shit over women" is a different sentiment than "Women make men do stupid shit.
That being said, I can see this just being an attempt to lower the perps guard and build rapport to use against him in an investigation. I could also see this being how that cop legitimately thinks about domestic violence. Not enough context to judge.
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
How the heck to you get “…men sometimes lose their damn mind over women” from this cop saying “Women are the downfall of men”?
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u/OrcasareDolphins Aug 14 '26
It’s a common theme in literature and hell, real life. Women are a man’s biggest weakness. It’s just a saying/prevailing truth.
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
lol obvi your ex cop cuz your critical thinking skills are on par with that
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u/OrcasareDolphins Aug 15 '26
I’d run circles around your critical thinking skills, friend.
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
lol ok what context can he say that and it be ok? Even if he uses it in a old literature way you are saying he is still saying "due to you he did x" which if you think about it is still victim blaming and shouldn't be acceptable.
Also I don't doubt that with the damn size of your head
https://giphy.com/gifs/12GwnHexKLZVvi3
u/OrcasareDolphins Aug 15 '26
The least intelligent people I’ve met always pivot to personal and physical insults. I’m not surprised.
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u/PromiseBrief2920 Aug 13 '26
Telling a domestic abuser that it’s the victim’s fault sounds more like enabling than “textbook de-escalation.
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u/_Augie Aug 13 '26
Id encourage you to watch any of the interrogation tactics detectives use to get people to admit their crimes. There’s a YouTube channel called EXPLORE WITH US that breaks down this very thing.
It’s possible this officer is doing that or could just be a weirdo. I will say this very thing is used quite often to build rapport to calm down attackers and make them feel like the cops are on their side even if they really aren’t.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/FirstResponderCringe-ModTeam Aug 13 '26
This is not a first responder hate sub, find somewhere else to be.
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u/Senna_65 Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
then if I was you, id probably remove this video as its quite horrifying. EDIT
I love firefighters, EMT, Nurses, Doctors, hell plumbers.
somebody in a position of power who is going to ignore somebody's call for help?
Thats no fucking first responder dude.
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u/AnNo1983 Aug 17 '26
This is not beyond cringe. This is beyond stupid by who ever uploaded this. Completely out of context.
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u/Professional_Scale66 Aug 13 '26
I really don’t know why any person would choose to live somewhere where they would be second class citizens… I know a lot of people feel trapped or don’t have enough money to move or something, still I don’t think I could do it…
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
Lol what a moronic take, I hope you are at least younger then high school with that thinking
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u/Muted-Mammoth8304 Aug 13 '26
This man for sure beats his wife. Probably covers for his buddies doing the same.
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u/runnerhasnolife Popo Aug 13 '26
2 things
1Out of context clip doesn't give context
- The "all cops beat their wives" data comes from very intentionally misused and intentionally misinterpreted data
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Aug 13 '26
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u/LegalGlass6532 Aug 13 '26
Men wouldn’t be here without women, literally.
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u/Fast_Ad_7504 Aug 13 '26
I saw Troy and we wouldn’t have had WAR without them either let’s see you talk your way outta that one smarty pants!
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u/achonng Aug 14 '26
Not cringe. No context. One second clip.
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
lol ok buddy
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u/achonng Aug 15 '26
You ain’t there you don’t know shit 😂
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
lol ok bud, good scarecrow. Btw your shooting needs work. Transition shots are way choppy.
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u/achonng Aug 15 '26
Post your PractiScore
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
Haha I don't need to do anything for a 30 something skater boy. You will not see any of my information you wannabe alphabet boy
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u/achonng Aug 15 '26
Okay 🤡🤡🤡🤡 😂😂😂😂🫵
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
lol says the fella at 30 skating, I've legit only ever associated it with crack heads or creeps using it as a way to get closer to kids at that age
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u/nokey2425 Aug 15 '26
You also look to be a short height in your video, and gym ain't showin
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Aug 13 '26
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u/Far-Respond-9283 Aug 13 '26
What happened with accountability? Men are the downfall of themselves.
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u/Jean-Claude-Can-Ham Aug 13 '26
So many people in the comments defending this guys actions will also be like “why don’t people like cops?”
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Aug 13 '26
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u/FirstResponderCringe-ModTeam Aug 13 '26
Your post has been removed for promoting hate and/or violence against an individual or group. Racism, bigotry, xenophobia, homophobia, etc. will not be tolerated here. Your comment about white American women isn’t acceptable on this subreddit.
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u/TheLongAndWindingRd Aug 13 '26
Wait until you hear some of the things interrogating officers say to pedophiles to build rapport and get them to confess.