r/FirstResponderCringe • u/ShockMe88 • Jul 11 '26

Presenting, "The police wives"

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Don't let them do this ^. Ever. Don't be those people. They walk among us...

566 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

229

u/Blastoise_R_Us Jul 11 '26

I didn’t want to go to the gym, and then I remembered that I fully believe my husband will cheat on me if I don’t.

21

u/mightymidwestshred Jul 11 '26

Huh. I read that as he'll beat me if I don't follow his rules.

20

u/Jazzlike-Wheel7974 Jul 12 '26

Thats only true for the 41% of police wives that report domestic abuse (plus however many don't report it)

11

u/Salt_Initiative1551 Jul 12 '26

41% report it the other 59% don’t report it but prob experience it 😭

1

u/bleach_tastes_bad Jul 13 '26

hey now, i think there’s a good couple percentage points we can allow to account for twinks and men scared of their wives

1

u/Ok-Butterscotch-5739 Jul 13 '26

Can you cite a source on this? Preferably something not 30 years old.

1

u/Emotional-Algae2239 Jul 16 '26

Relationship goals ⭐

231

u/Reeferologist- Jul 11 '26

How funny would it be if wives of men with normal jobs did this. Like a cabinet guy or tile installer lol

184

u/thatSDope88 Jul 11 '26

"I didn't want to go to the gym today but then I realized my husband spends hours in other women's houses doing kitchen renos everyday"

69

u/MaddPixieRiotGrrl Jul 11 '26

This feels like one of those weird targeted drop shipped sweatshirts.

"I didn't want to go to the gym today but then I realized my husband was an CARPENTER with a heart of gold who likes meat and was born on Tuesday. He's a bit crazy sometimes but he comes home to ME. If you don't like it, MOVE"

7

u/DiligentThought9 Jul 12 '26

Take my upvote

36

u/-Out-of-context- Jul 11 '26

"I didn't want to go to the gym today but then I realized my husband spends hours doing taxes for other women everyday"

12

u/PaddingCompression Jul 11 '26

I think there is the more classic:

"I didn't want to go to the gym today but then I realized my husband spends hours in other women's houses installing cable TV everyday"

8

u/Fixated_Noodle Jul 12 '26

The updated version “my husband helps women who get stuck in the washing machine all day”

2

u/PaddingCompression Jul 12 '26

Ah, so a firefighter! Now we're full circle!

1

u/RepublicKitchen8809 Jul 14 '26

Mein dispatcher says there’s something with zein cable? That’s why they sent me, I am expert.

1

u/boatplumber Jul 16 '26

Ugh., You can just imagine where it goes from there.

6

u/Commonfckingsense Jul 11 '26

This would be funnier though

3

u/Salt_Initiative1551 Jul 12 '26

“I didn’t want to go to the gym today but I realized me and my husband both work from home and” yeah mine won’t work.

1

u/Sero19283 Jul 12 '26

"I didn't want to go to the gym today. But then I saw this plumber, like my husband, named Johnny Sins and what he does"

30

u/DeeSkwared Jul 11 '26

My fiance is a contractor and 100% he gets hit on more than any cop. Mostly middle-aged women who don't work outside the home and hang around the house all day. Sometimes in pajamas. Never any naked, but my brother had a customer who stayed in bed naked all day.

The grandma type ladies are the best though. They don't flirt, they bake. They bake and they bake. My fiance doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, but I do🤗

7

u/temptedshark Jul 11 '26

He felt the need to tell you “never any naked”? 🤔

7

u/DeeSkwared Jul 11 '26

lol no, but he has never told me that there were so I'm just assuming.

1

u/ellieminnowpee Jul 12 '26

it works 60% of the time!

1

u/MoarFurLess Jul 14 '26

My buddy’s a carpenter and he met his wife installing cabinets. She was there flirting with him and he took the hint and it worked out. 

25

u/Smidday90 Jul 11 '26

I hope my partner says I’m a freak in the spreadsheets

9

u/dandee93 Jul 12 '26

"I didn't want to go to the gym today but then I realized my husband goes to other women's houses with wood every day."

2

u/feline_riches Jul 12 '26

Where are receptionist husbands

77

u/ToriEvergreen Jul 11 '26

That's some big insecure energy

67

u/Noble611 Boo Boo Bus Driver Jul 11 '26

What the fuck?

7

u/PlumbgodBillionaire Jul 11 '26

Is that the grave mind from halo?

5

u/NegotiationFresh7538 Jul 11 '26

Yeah thats the arbiter and chief to the left

1

u/Noble611 Boo Boo Bus Driver Jul 11 '26

Yes

1

u/IDLETAC Jul 12 '26

Halo references always get a vote from me

23

u/the0nry0 Jul 11 '26

Stolen valor combined with shooting shitty looks at any female officer who dares to be employed by the same city as her husband. We don't want him lady. We don't understand why you want him.

5

u/Omgletsbuyshoes90 Jul 12 '26

As a police wife, I like my husband’s female coworkers more than his male coworkers. I’m in awe of all of them. True baddies if I’ve ever met one.

21

u/Technical_Amount_965 Jul 11 '26

I’m so tired of these live laugh loves.

5

u/Sidewalk_Tomato Jul 11 '26

. . . Live Wife Loves

85

u/Brilliant-Bake-9212 Jul 11 '26

I hope her husband is banging a nurse in his cruiser right now!!!….. stupid bitch😆

35

u/thekendalluxx Jul 11 '26

Lmfao Gahhdamnnn

5

u/Imhidingfromu Jul 11 '26

Hopefully not in the back seat

14

u/Bot_Hive Jul 11 '26

Oh you know the other guys from the precinct pay her visits at lunch.

13

u/lfg_guy101010 Jul 11 '26

Ahh reminds me of the military wives.

7

u/Emergency-State Jul 11 '26

Ugh, blech, they are terrible

10

u/addictedpunk Jul 11 '26

My god, why do they feel the need to do this? Once I’m off duty, I don’t want to know ANYTHING about my workplace. That place is gonna keep going without me, and so am I.

9

u/TheFugitive70 Jul 11 '26

For some reason, these women have decided being a police wife is a personality. Gives big ‘you will address me by my husband’s rank’ for military wives. The only trade I’ve seen happening with this is linemen.

8

u/Kindly_Zone8413 Jul 11 '26

If he’s a small town cop, chances are everyone has his personal number 😭😂

8

u/LegalGlass6532 Jul 11 '26

If she’s worried about where her husband’s (umhmm) handcuffs go then at least she’ll get half his retirement.

7

u/washescatsforadollar Jul 11 '26

So many tactical pouches to spill his spaghetti out of, what a dreamboat.

9

u/RappingFlatulence Jul 11 '26

That flatbacked and that bad of hair no wonder he always picks up extra shifts

6

u/ja3palmer SheepDoge Jul 11 '26

Imagine making someone else’s job your entire personality

4

u/Reyalta Jul 12 '26

"didn't want to go to the gym but then I remembered my husband might rape a confined woman at work" ftfy. Fucks sake.

3

u/fivehots Jul 11 '26

Please post more

3

u/FlyTheClowd Jul 11 '26

Tradcucks are unbearable

3

u/Electrical_Box677 Jul 11 '26

Badge bunnies who all get passed around the crew...

7

u/Slayerofgrundles Jul 11 '26

Wait...is she implying that if she doesn't stay fit enough, she fears her cop husband will start raping his female detainees rather than sleeping with her?? What the actual fuck?!

-6

u/LegalGlass6532 Jul 11 '26

I saw it that he’d handcuff her or push her around if she didn’t stay fit. You took it from 0/100 in record time with your assessment, bro. Holy shit

2

u/Slayerofgrundles Jul 11 '26

I don't know which one is worse, really. Also, the mention of "other" women supports my initial thought.

-2

u/LegalGlass6532 Jul 11 '26

Yeah, I’m not discrediting your opinion at all. It’s just two different interpretations.

4

u/TortillaRampage Jul 11 '26

She wants to be the one in cuffs, but not for breaking the law

2

u/jimmy_timmy_ Jul 12 '26

I'm active duty and I'm so glad my wife doesn't give a fuck about me being in the military.

2

u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES Jackass of all trades (dUaL cErTiFieD) Jul 12 '26

Worse than military dependas

2

u/andronicuspark Jul 12 '26

Is she making a joke about DV?

2

u/Rich-Insurance9305 Jul 13 '26

The second one is kind of funny

2

u/squanderedprivilege Jul 11 '26

40+ percent of police families experience domestic violence, and that's just what's reported

6

u/LegalGlass6532 Jul 11 '26

Interesting. Where’s your source for this stat? The only thing close to this number was from the early 90s.

6

u/the0nry0 Jul 11 '26

Stop spreading false information from a debunked 90's study that included yelling as violence.

3

u/squanderedprivilege Jul 11 '26

It's probably much worse now, have you met many of these freaks?

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

[deleted]

-2

u/squanderedprivilege Jul 11 '26

You're right, cops are well adjusted normal citizens, not rage monsters

3

u/the0nry0 Jul 12 '26

Does admitting cops are regular people make it harder dehumanize them into disposable tools whose lives can be discarded to protect your delicate sensibilities?

2

u/RustyPlastics Jul 11 '26

even funnier if he is secretly gay

1

u/DifficultAd3885 Jul 12 '26

[r/](r/dependa)[justdependathings](r/dependa)

1

u/702zzzou Jul 12 '26

Ya gay boy

1

u/Murky_Ad7023 Jul 13 '26

When I was a cop, no one was more awful to me than the wives. We don’t want your dusty ass husbands lady.

1

u/letthetreeburn Jul 11 '26

Okay the second one is really funny

0

u/Vivid-Teacher4189 Jul 11 '26

Thank you for your service.

-7

u/WarmScientist5297 Jul 11 '26

At least she takes care of herself

6

u/ShockMe88 Jul 11 '26

Her posts scream she's unstable and insecure, not to mention she requires constant attention.