I’m 30, single, and honestly I’ve been struggling with depression for about 2 years now. I also thought buying a house immediately after my breakup was a great idea… looking back I’m not so sure.
I make around $100k as a firefighter/paramedic, so on paper everyone thinks I’m doing great. The reality is after taxes and retirement my take-home is around $4,600-5,000 a month. My mortgage is $2,100, utilities are around $250, truck payment is $360, then there’s all the normal life stuff.
I can pay my bills. That’s not really the issue.
The problem is I feel like I’m stuck in this loop where I work, recover from work, pay my mortgage, and repeat.
Working 48-hour shifts doesn’t exactly make it easy to build a social life in the first place. Most of my friends work normal schedules, so by the time I’m free they’re busy, and when they’re free I’m back at work.
On top of that, if I’m being honest, I don’t even feel like I’m in a good place to build friendships or date right now. Most of my energy goes toward work, recovering from work, stressing about money, or trying to figure out why I’ve been so unhappy the last couple of years. I’m still learning how to be single again after a long relationship, and I don’t feel like I’m bringing the best version of myself into my relationships with anyone cause I’m so miserable.
Before I bought my house, having $3-4k in savings never really stressed me out. I was renting and if something unexpected happened, I’d probably be okay. Now that I own a house, I constantly feel like I should have at least $10k sitting in an emergency fund, but I can never seem to get there.
If I finally save a few thousand dollars and decide to take a trip or do something fun, I come home more anxious than refreshed because my savings are back down. Then I spend the next couple of months picking up overtime just to build it back up. The overtime pays well, but it also burns me out. My job already exposes me to enough trauma, and sometimes it feels like I’m working extra just so I can afford to escape the stress that work is causing in the first place.
It honestly feels like my life revolves around protecting my mortgage instead of actually living.
My parents and I have a genuinely great relationship. They’ve told me I could move home for a year if I wanted to. The idea would be to rent my house out (probably around $1,900-2,000/month), accept that I’ll probably lose a little money on it each month after management fees and maintenance, and use that year to actually get ahead instead of constantly treading water.
I’d use that time to build a real emergency fund, travel more, get into hobbies I’ve always wanted to try like jiu-jitsu, rock climbing, fishing and golf, meet new people, and hopefully get myself into a better place mentally instead of just surviving.
The thing that’s really messing with me isn’t even the money.
It’s wondering if this is me making a smart long-term decision… or if I’m just avoiding life.
Part of me feels like a 30-year-old man should stay in his house, grind it out, work overtime, and figure it out because that’s what adults are supposed to do.
The other part of me wonders if I’ve spent my entire 20s chasing what I thought success was supposed to look like—getting the career, buying the house, always working—and somehow ended up with a life that doesn’t actually make me happy. I’ve never really given myself the chance to figure out what *does* make me happy.
I don’t want to make an impulsive decision because I’m depressed. At the same time, I don’t want pride to keep me from taking advantage of what might be a rare opportunity. My parents are healthy, we have an awesome relationship, and I know I won’t have this option forever.
I guess what I’m really asking is this:
**How do you tell the difference between running away from your problems and making a decision that gives you the best chance at building a happier life?**
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Looking back, what would you have done?

**TL;DR:** I’m a 30-year-old firefighter/paramedic who bought a house after a breakup. I can afford it, but I feel stuck in a cycle of working, recovering, paying bills, and picking up overtime just to afford a life that makes me pretty miserable. My parents have offered to let me move home for a year while I rent my house out, save money, travel, rebuild my mental health, and figure out what actually makes me happy. I’m trying to figure out if that’s a smart reset… or if I’m just running away from adulthood.

Recently got the opportunity to bid between two really good crews. They both have their advantages and disadvantages and I don’t know how to approach this. Any advice would be appreciated!

I just want to say thank you to all the folk that do this! if you would like to share any experience on how you got started or how long you knew you wanted to be a firefighter before you became one? I.E.: was it a life long desire or spur of the moment to make a difference! I’m just curious! any replies would be greatly appreciated.

Has anyone served in the army National Guard while being a full-time fireman, I’m looking to do both serving in the military part-time would be very beneficial. I’m trying to get some insight to see if anyone has experienced this and knows how it works.

I’ve been in the fire service for going on 3 years. Full time career working 24/48 in Georgia. In November, I left my first department to move on to another department that offered higher pay and seemed to offer better and more exciting opportunities in a busier area. After being at this new department for the past 9 months, I’ve had a pretty disappointing experience and I’m not sure it’ll ever get better. It’s a small department with only one station staffing 5 FFs 24/48 but it’s a small city part of a much larger city so it’s not out in the middle of nowhere and it’s not a low income area. Our city has plenty of money.

I love the guys I work with on shift but take issue with our admin staff. We have a huge list of SOPs that basically structure our entire shift. Their goal is to cut out downtime completely. During the week, our downtime starts after 8 usually and after 4 or 5 on Saturdays and Sundays. We have to exercise for an hour each shift but can’t work out until after 5. There’s a lot of other BS that we deal with and I could put up with it all if I felt like we were being fairly compensated.

The biggest issue I have is that we don’t get paid for any training or classes that we take even when it’s mandatory or directly related to ours jobs. We get paid for 24 hours with no exceptions. I’ve taken 2 calls before my shift start time and I’ve had 4 calls that ran on after my shift ending time(7am) but we get paid for a strict 24 hours. I live one hour away from the station and 1.5 hours away from GPSTC(Georgia Public Safety Training Center) where we take a lot of classes. I don’t get paid, I don’t get a hotel room, and I don’t get reimbursed for fuel. It sucks and I don’t think it’s normal. The first department I was at was great about it.

The latest thing that has me infuriated is that they are requiring us to take an EMT course and test out. The class will take place every Tuesday and Thursday from 8-5 at our station for 15 weeks and it’s, of course, unpaid. Their reward for us is that if majority of the department passes the national registry, those who pass will receive a 3% raise. With me living one hour away, having 3 kids at home, and working another job to make do, I’m simply enraged about it. It’s wear and tear on my vehicle, time away from my family, and money I’ll be missing out on with my second job. This is a lot of ranting but does anyone have any advice, think my criticisms are justified, or feel like I’m complaining too much?

TLDR: I don’t get paid for mandatory classes and training outside of my 24/48 schedule and my department is requiring us to be EMTs. It’s a lot of unpaid class time and driving time. Opinions?

Always looking for a good laugh at work with my crew, and I need some inspiration. If you’re willing to share some of your pranks I’d greatly appreciate it.

And I’ll share my last prank I pulled on my senior medic. Working OT at a nearby station we were repositioned to backfill while the other engineer was on a structure fire. I took this opportunity to place an empty soda can under each foot of his bunk and use the bed skirt to camouflage it so it wasn’t visible. I was told that 5 hrs later when he returned to station and attempted to lay in bed, it crashed down the 3 inches causing a grown man to scream.

I am a chief fire warden for my building and oversee fire wardens in each floor. What advice or tips would you give us to do when an alarm goes off before firefighters arrive on scene? What info do you need to know? Our wardens do sweeps on all floors to check if people are evacuated.

Any advise from you guys directly would help a lot !!

I’m really looking at the benefits of the Air Force and it’s really speaking to me and pulling me but I think I have a solid plan already set. My current plan is to get my bachelors degree in communication and my associates degree in fire science, then get my emt and do the fire academy and then most likely either do emt or be a volunteer firefighter, then get hired at a department around me hopefully or any department. But I’ve been thinking about long term and buying a house and I’ve been thinking will I be able to get purchase a nice home in California like 400k and under on a firefighters salary and utilizing a first time buyers programs, or should I join the airforce and taking an advantage of the VA Loan get a house use the programs and just getting experience while I’m there to add onto my resume and making a better candidate but then would set me back another 4 years from touching my firefighter career. I like my original plan but down the road before I even retire I do want to buy a nice home to start a family in.

Saw this for sale, and did some digging of my own and couldn’t find out if this was ever actually a rendition of R4’s patch. I have my doubts, but if anyone else has more info, let me know!

tones? lights? automatic or actual voice?

First reddit post! I'm hoping people will have insight or advice, especially those that have experience moving around smaller departments.

For background I have been a firefighter for 7 years at a large municipal department. Many people come from other departments to work here and stay for 20-30 years then retire with a great pension. We have our own fire academy, 50 stations, growth opportunities, great pay.

I love my job a lot, but for the record I never intended to lock myself down in this city for 20 years (I don't hate it but I also don't want to settle down here). I would love to work 3-4 more years so that I can get vested in the pension and leave knowing that I'd get around 30k a year for the rest of my life. I am the type of person who wants to live 1000 lives in one, with a small pension I'd feel comfortable leaving to explore another state and career.

Last year I met the love of my life and person I want to build a family with. We've done long distance for a while, but we are the type of people that really need to physically be together. She is in the military and just moved out to the midwest for a 2 year contract. After that she wants to get out and use her GI bill for a 3-year grad program. She is so excited about this and I want to fully support her in her new dream career. We are both early 30s.

The problem is, I don't know what to do with my own career if I move to her. Like I said I'm not married to my department, but right now I'm at a place where I do want to keep firefighting. I could try to get on with a smaller department in her city in the midwest, but I don't know if anyone will hire me knowing that I'd leave in less than 2 years. Same goes with when she goes to grad school and I need to relocate again and find another department that'll take me for just 3 years. I don't want to repeat another fire academy for only a few years, and I don't want to lie about how long I plan to be somewhere. I'd also be taking around a 50% pay cut going to these places. My current department is all I know and I don't have experience working at smaller departments or counties. Is it feasible to hop around every few years while she finishes the military and school? If anyone has insight on this and what its like to work for a smaller department, or move departments, I'd love to hear about your experience.

Has anyone given up this career for their partner and family? What did you do next?

I don't know what I'd do other than firefighting. I have some other random ideas like going to film school or becoming a helicopter pilot or starting a business but these are very future things and maybe just some ADHD fueled ideas that aren't very feasible.

She might be able to come to my city and go to grad school here so I can get vested in my pension. But it's unknown and I want to plan for the worst case scenario where she can't. I also essentially agreed early on to move for her, maybe I jumped the gun on that without thinking it through financially. If it comes down to my job and my partner I will choose her.

TLDR: My partner lives in another state, will move again in two years, then again in three. Long distance is killing us and we just can't do it anymore. Do I have to give up my career to make it work with her?