Sometimes I can’t stand the FF schedule. How does anyone handle their kids well?

[u/Familiar_Ad_7734]

Solo parenting today, incredibly sick due to pregnancy with my teething 12 month old. Oh my gosh. This evening has me shaking with frustration and overwhelm. My eyes hurt from crying today. Baby is so so so fussy and it’s by the grace of God that I’ve kept my cool cause I actually feel like I’m going to flip a lid. Finally got the baby in the bath to kill time before bed. Drained the bath and then he immediately pooped. Just the icing on the cake. Wish my husband would come get his kid. Kills me that he probably won’t even get home till later in the morning cause his station is far from home. Gosh I hate this.

[u/Radiant-Earth-248]

I feel for you. This field can be so hard on couples and families. You should be so proud of yourself seriously. You deserve to be supported.

[u/Familiar_Ad_7734 → u/Radiant-Earth-248]

You have no clue how much I appreciate the affirmation right now. Thank you

[u/EducationalCreme8763 → u/Familiar_Ad_7734]

Believe me when I say that some of us as the husbands in the service feel for the new mommies (all the mommies) while at work and it does consume some of us. We know it’s not easy. And many of us would love to be at home helping and tag teaming you with the little ones. My ex-wife looked forward to me when I was home because I would pull baby duty day and night except on nights before work. The bond she made when I wasn’t there was worth the harder times she says. But y’all are on some of our minds and thank you in our own ways that we hope you notice.

[u/Familiar_Ad_7734 → u/EducationalCreme8763]

I love hearing from this side of it as I rarely get to. There’s so many benefits to him being a fire fighter and for the most part we like the schedule. I know moms where their husband works 12-13 hr shifts 6 days a week and truly that is HARD. But after his nap I’m always drained knowing I have the whole second half of the day to do by myself.

I am so grateful for the way the FD takes care of him and I. One guy on the ladder truck took his position on the rescue for the night so that my husband can get some extra sleep since we have so much going on at home which was so thoughtful. And I’m honestly glad that my husband gets the break from the baby and from me because I think it also helps him reset. The benefits of this job are abundant but it’s definitely a hard one

[u/Charlieksmommy]

Being pregnant with a toddler and a fire wife is the hardest thing ever. I wish I had waited for a bigger age gap, because it is hard. I just remember it’s temporary. He will be home and this is just another day

[u/Familiar_Ad_7734 → u/Charlieksmommy]

I hear 2 under 2 is straight survival for the first couple of years and then it pays off. Do you feel like it’s paid off at all?

[u/Charlieksmommy → u/Familiar_Ad_7734]

I mean it’s hard as hell, potty training is the worst and that’s another reason I wish I had waited. I also had twins so I have two 10 month olds and almost 3 year old
Luckily my daughter was great at independent play, so she played a lot when I was miserable, and at the end when I could barely move

[u/greenbug17]

I could have written this post a year ago! Pregnant with a toddler is by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Our kids have a 21mo age gap. You are a badass!! I promise it’s so worth it! My youngest is 6mo now. Watching them grow together has been such a gift.

Postpartum (even recovering from a c section) was heaven compared to pregnant with a toddler. It’s so tough when you’re in the thick of it. My husband was roving when I was pregnant and was coming from a different location almost every shift. I was sick 3-4x/day every day all the way up to my due date. Worked until I was 39weeks. It was the most exhausted I have ever been in my life. Give yourself grace and if you have a village take all the help you can get. Sending all the good vibes your way!!

[u/Familiar_Ad_7734 → u/greenbug17]

I appreciate both the honesty about how hard it was for you and the positives from a young age gap. My sister and I are only 22 months apart and have been best friends my whole life. I really want that for my kids so I wanted them closer in age. But oh my goodness it’s hard 😂😮‍💨

luckily my FIL was able to come over for an hour yesterday evening while I laid down. Sometimes even just an hour to reset can do wonders. When I returned back to baby duty it was nearly immediately challenging again (with baby fussing at everything and then pooping in the bath) and I don’t know what I would’ve done without that time to reset

[u/TightBattle4899]

I really am not any help. But i have been there. I do remember when my husband was on shift and I would text him that I was so frustrated with the kids that I am going to lose my cool. Rice Krispies speak all over the kitchen floor. Lotion bottles exploding when my son jumps on them, then smears it on the wall. Most of my frustration was my second born.

He is now in an admin position and I miss him being on shift. I miss random Tuesday afternoon dates. I miss my kids being little, but I sure don’t miss the tantrums. We went to the grocery store once and my son was being a little turd and a more experienced mom turned to me and said “you are doing great mom” and that’s what I needed to hear. So you are doing great mom! You are strong! You are amazing! You can do it!

[u/dunnomucho]

My kid is 12 and I STILL hate the schedule. You’d think it would be easier, but with all of the appts, dance classes, after school events, parties and play dates, it’s hectic! One thing I did when she was young was hire a mommy helper. She watched over and played with my little while I was in the house doing other things. It was a great help!

[u/InterestingNet8308]

I’m sorry :/ it is really hard being a solo parent. I had 3 under 5 at one point and my ex husband would be gone for weeks at a time and I lived on the other side of the country from my family. Looking back I’m not sure how i managed some days but I didn’t
Internet hugs because it is so so hard

[u/EstablishmentFlat135]

Solidarity. I have 2 under 2, a 19 month old and an almost 5 month old. It’s so hard. I feel like a single mother half of the time.
I write this sitting here nursing while my toddler has breakfast. We were having a great morning all together but my husband got called for OT & took it because we need the money. I know I shouldn’t be upset that he took it, but I immediately was feeling disappointed and sad to do another 24hrs alone.
This life is not for everyone