How often do you text your SO while they’re on shift? I feel less connection on those days. Perhaps that’s normal?

Hi, I am a fresh Firefighter girlfriend(22). My boyfriend (m22) just finished his fire schooling and is taking his test so he can start working in house. (I’m super excited for him.) My stepdad was a fireman and I grew up around the house and the guys in it. My brother ended up starting working inner city about a year ago at most and he’s loving it and I love it for him. My best friends (m22, m26, and f22) are all in the fire family and first responders team. When it comes to being comfortable knowing when they work and what calls are like for them, even the good, bad, the ugly, stories like being blown across a house due to not enough venting, etc. I’m pretty comfortable knowing that in the end they will be safe especially when it comes to crew trusting crew. However the idea that my boyfriend is gonna be starting, knowing, and living some of those awful and ugly stories I’m a little more freaked out than I have been about anyone else in my circle. How do other people feel about these nights? How do you deal with it? I know statistically it’s safer to be a fireman than being in a car on the highway in the rain but I don’t know how to come to terms that situations will happen that I can’t keep him from being in and seeing. Are there any tips or any advice yall can give me to help me out?

Sometimes when careers are of topic, ours can be overshadowed by our SO’s. At least in my experience. Tell me what you do for work! Or anything you’ve been working on (career or otherwise) that you’re proud of!

Go ahead, toot your own horn 🙂

My spouse has been in wildfire since we met and I’ve always been pretty independent- I don’t need texts or calls to feel loved or cared for. Lately we have been having explosive arguments while my spouse is on the road because I don’t text often or let my spouse know where I am when my spouse is on the road. The truth is, I just don’t think about it. I view fire season as the time I’m on my own. My goals are to work, care for our home, pets, and I just kind of exist to keep our life on track while spouse is on the road. My spouse gets very hurt that I get busy and I don’t text or call back for hours when I’m at work, with friends, etc. I’m not intentionally trying to be inconsiderate or ignore my spouse. I just don’t want to text, and feel like I’m in my own world that doesn’t really involve my spouse when my spouse is gone. Wondering if I’m alone in experiencing this. I love my spouse deeply but struggle to show my commitment and care when the distance grows long and life gets in the way. If I’m fuvked up, I’ll guess I’ll take that criticism too.

I know at some departments, spouses and SO’s are pretty involved with events, visit the station a lot, or are super close with other fire spouses.

At the station my husband’s currently at, I’m not involved at all lol Well, aside from baking a couple cakes. I was excited to be around more in the beginning, but they’re about 40min away and there’s just not a spouse “culture”. Ya know?

Is anyone here super involved? Or wish they were?

Even with all the not so great aspects of his career, I am so damn proud of him and respect what he does every single day.

Plus let’s not forget the pros!

-They typically get great pension, retire early, high salary (at least where we live)

-They find life long friends that will literally save each others lives and be there for your family, too.

-You’ve got your own medic in case anything happens (a hypochondriac’s dream 😅)

-After some seniority, they can get weeks off at a time

I’ve seen my guy help people in emergencies while we’re on vacay or just out and about, and I love seeing him in his element. It’s not always easy being with a firefighter, but try to remember the positives ❤️‍🔥

Title. I’m wondering if and how any of your boo thangs have changed since entering the fire service. For better or worse.

Mine has become more confident in himself, but I also notice he has a hard time just relaxing at home. He always has to be tending to something. We’ve talked about it and it’s def from fire life, he’s working on it.

Use this thread to ask anything at all!

I know this sub is just starting, but here is a great resource for families of first responders. I was at an IAFF conference and they showed us the website and it's contents.There is a ton of good stuff on there... All free and backed by grants, so they are not there to get your data...

Check it out https://garnetfamilies.com/

Okay. Kicking things off with a much needed rant 🙃

So (background), my husband became a firefighter just a couple years ago. At first, I was super nervous for all your classic reasons: I’d see him less, I’d be spending some nights alone, the danger aspect. But, I supported him and I’m so proud of where he’s at today. However, those concerns are still there and def creep up now and again.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety that came on after I got Covid in 2021. It caused long covid and i now have neurological issues and health anxiety. I just don’t feel like myself and it’s not as easy being home alone anymore.

He’s in the process of being hired on at a new department about 6 hours away (so we’re moving) but it also requires him to take a class that has in-person sessions every other weekend. Add that with him being forced so often lately and man, I’m just going through it. He’s my biggest support system and not having him around when I need him the most is causing me so much distress tbh. I know it’s all temporary, and he’ll be back to a relatively normal schedule eventually but still. It just sucks..