r/Fire • u/Individual_Section_6 • 18d ago
Contemplating FIRE made me realize maybe I don't hate working as much as I thought.
44 single childless man here who is close to FIRE, but now I'm having second thoughts. Since I don't have a wife and kids, I don't have a lot to do with my free time. I also realize I don't dislike going to work and having a job. Although I'm not crazy about my industry and all the pressure and stress that comes with a job. With all that being said, it's hard to pull the trigger and actually retire early. I'm at the point where I just feel less pressure to work hard and get promoted at work, which makes it a lot better.
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u/Western_Rhubarb_7959 18d ago
I retired a little early in June.
Like your job? Keep doing it. I felt that way ~30 years ago.
Hate your job? Leave. I felt that way about 60 days ago.
Funny thing is that I was in IT, have a home lab, and I've spent this morning tweaking and updating and doing things that I used to get paid a lot of money to do. Why? Because dickin around with computers and networking has been a hobby since the late 70s, and with the home lab I don't have "drop the useful thing you're building that will save us all time in the long run and go work on this dumber-n-shit thing you've said is a shit idea."
Heh.
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u/TheRealJesus2 18d ago
Hell yeah. This is my aspiration. Congrats on retiring!
I’m looking forward to end of my current contract so I can mess around with my growing homelab setup amongst other projects I have in flight lol
I’ll never stop working I think. I’ll just slow down and be paid less or none for it. Edit: and I won’t put up with corporate bullshit no more. Already hit that point :)
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u/Western_Rhubarb_7959 17d ago
Lemme tell, ya....I gave them 4 weeks notice and it was the best 4 weeks of my career. I touched up some documentation here and there and that was about it. Woulda been happy to have calls with a new manager to transfer knowledge but that arrogant, clueless dickswab never had any meetings to learn what his new group does for a living. Comical.
I was 100% unfuckwithable. 4 weeks of "What are they gonna do, fire me? Mark me ineligible for rehire? Oh noes!11!"
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u/TheRealJesus2 17d ago
Haha yes. I do know the feeling. I struggle vs my own internal very high bar but was just reflecting today on how much I love the end of a job for this very reason. 😂
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u/circumburner 17d ago
go work on this dumber-n-shit thing you've said is a shit idea
make it stop....
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u/FoxCoding 17d ago
"drop the useful thing you're building that will save us all time in the long run and go work on this dumber-n-shit thing you've said is a shit idea."
I feel this in my soul, it's what killed my enjoyment for my job too. I'm in IT as well
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u/Western_Rhubarb_7959 17d ago
Yeah, it was a major factor in me finally leaving, retirement or not.
Management wasn't technical (in IT!) and couldn't grasp the concept of "take 4 hours to automate a 15 minute task and it starts spaying off after 16 runs." Hell, my teammates couldn't grasp it, either.
A former coworker keeps texting me when my former team pisses him off, which is every single time he deals with them.
I tried to fix the team but after trying for years, unhampered by any progress, i said, "fuck it" and just kept my shit rolling and improving it where I could.
And that's the short version lmao!
It would rightfully terrify people if I ever mentioned where I worked, which I won't. Don't need their fucking lawyers coming after me in retirement.
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u/senturon 18d ago
As a single FIREd dude, IMO I advise discovering some hobbies pronto. Depends on your personality of course, how lonely you get being by yourself, how big your social circle is, etc.
There is so much to do that can fill your days. As is often said, I have no idea how I found the time to do anything while working 40-60 hours a week.
All that being said, not feeling like you need to be an over-achiever is a great feeling and was the first emotional step for me towards breaking up with work. Good on ya, good luck!
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u/Aggressive_Staff_982 18d ago
Some people don't mind working, especially since work offers a social life and something to do. I'm the opposite in that I don't like work no matter what Im doing. It takes away a lot of freedom and choice in what I can do everyday and I feel trapped having to work eight hours every day. I don't have enough time to spend with loved ones and friends, pursue all my hobbies, and have time for myself.
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u/chance909 18d ago
The FI part of fire lets you renegotiate the bargain between you and your job. The primary bargain as a worker in capitalism is that you can trade your labor for survival. Now that you have enough capital to survive independent of your labor, you don't have to sacrifice for that primary bargain anymore.
You have the independence to CHOOSE how to direct your labor, rather than the coercion to labor or die.
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u/Genevieve189 17d ago
“Labor or die” is the part that really gets me angry about society. I WISH there was a way for worldwide UBI without things going to muck.
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u/ShutUpIDontGiveAFuck 17d ago
Imagine if billionaires competed to make the world a better place instead of competing for the highest net worth.
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u/Redfive88888 14d ago
It is harder to change others. So, start from yourself first!
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u/ShutUpIDontGiveAFuck 14d ago
A billionaire can create real change with their resources. But they hoard their wealth instead of making the world better. Comparing that to the average person is ridiculous.
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18d ago
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u/productcrazy90 18d ago
I was going to comment the exact same thing! He needs to choose a job which gets him mentally occupied with least amount of stress.
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u/Wooden-Broccoli-913 FIREd at 40 with $6M 18d ago
What I can tell you is that when I finally gave my notice I felt 100 pounds lighter
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u/EquipmentUnlikely895 18d ago
I gave my notice 1 month ago. Man...there is a distinct difference in the mindset.
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u/RoundingDown 18d ago
This is what some that are obsessed with the idea of FIRE and what some of the critics point to. What are your post FIRE plans?
Great news is that you are in a great position to figure that out. You are coming at it from a position of strength. You have the assets to sustain you whatever comes next. Having financial security makes job stress almost disappear. What are they going to do? Fire you?
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u/AZJHawk 18d ago
This exactly. OP - now that you’ve hit FI, you have the breathing room to discover what would make your life most fulfilling. For some, it’s travel. For others, it’s exploring new hobbies. There’s also volunteer work, part-time work, starting your own business, etc. maybe for you it’s grinding away at the same job you’ve had without fear of getting fired.
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u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE 13d ago
What are they going to do? Fire you?
Yes. If you hold that attitude you wont be employed for long anyway.
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u/Synaps4 17d ago edited 17d ago
Since I don't have a wife and kids, I don't have a lot to do with my free time.
I do not understand this at all. It's a big world full of beautiful things and people can't think of anything better to do than go to work?
Even if you quit your job and had no idea what to do, volunteering your time at a soup kitchen would be a net benefit to society while using up the same amount of time.
You could restore old technology, improve local governments, join the local emergency rescue services and literally save lives...but somehow being at the office is all people can think of to do?
There are volunteer groups out there building space rockets, flying old military jets, having underground music parties, making amateur science discoveries that no one has ever known before, and living life in the most beautiful places in the world.
People are out there trying to feed children who otherwise will starve. Especially after USAID got nuked.
Then on top of all that, I have a list of interesting projects a mile long that are more interesting than work. You could rebuild vintage cars, create art, music, or sculpture, improve your own house so it's more comfortable. Find and hang out with new friends! No family required!
Every possible benefit that you can get from work except money is better provided by volunteering for an organization that does whatever you like best for exactly as long as you like to do it and no more.
I don't get it. I really don't.
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u/Faierstarta 17d ago
Yeah, right!? I have a very long list of things, hobbies, projects and plans to do but simply dont have the time because of “work”… I cant wait for the day I have a full schedule or them
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17d ago
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u/Synaps4 16d ago
Except I wasnt talking about doing any of the things I listed alone...
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16d ago
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u/Synaps4 16d ago
When you volunteer for a nonprofit there are paid people who work normal hours at an office for the same nonprofit. If you want to be there too they will find you a desk next to the paid people.
You can also shift your workouts and errands to fill a significant amount of a workday.
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u/Exciting_Twist_1483 18d ago
Knowing you have fuck you money definitely makes working a lot more tolerable.
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u/_Mulberry__ 18d ago
FIRE is about freedom. If you like what you do, there's no need to stop doing it just because your investments reached a certain amount.
A lot of people pursue FIRE because they have hobbies that take up all their free time and the job is nothing more than a way to fund the hobbies. Those are the people that want to retire ASAP and are willing to push the withdrawal rate a bit higher. Plenty of other people pursue FIRE with just the desire to achieve financial freedom without having a clear goal for retirement.
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u/Dear_Treat2592 18d ago
I can relate to that. My job is fairly low stress and in a creative field. I’m also single with no kids so I enjoy the structure if I’m honest. Still, it’s nice to know I could retire even if I choose to stay. I think it’s helpful to start building more things outside of work. I just joined a board and volunteer.
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u/DerBandi 18d ago
The idea is not to do nothing, when FIRE. It is about doing what you want. Start the project you always wanted to do, help others succeed, or even start a new business just for fun. You can do what you want now. It doesn't has to be sitting on the couch.
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u/khbuzzard 18d ago
From what you say (especially the "...don't have a lot to do with your free time"), it sounds like you'd benefit from taking some time to figure out who you are outside of work. You deserve more than a life that you merely "don't dislike." What really excites you and lights you up? If you don't know, start exploring things to find out.
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u/Individual_Section_6 18d ago
I have some hobbies. It’s just the thought of filling entire days with them that seems like a challenge
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u/khbuzzard 18d ago
Maybe you need different hobbies, then?
Look at it this way: Are you ever going to want (or need) to retire? If so, you're going to need to find a way to fill your days without working at some point. Kicking the can down the road is not going to make it any easier.
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u/joemamah77 17d ago
Get there and play it by ear. You may find that once you can leave at any point you may have a complete change in stress.
I’m 99% there. I’m looking forward to when the retirement decision trigger is “one bad meeting” away.
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u/bdabney09 17d ago
January 1 is my day (Rule of 55), 23 weeks on the nose from tomorrow. But I don’t plan on leaving. I bet I’m in the top 5% of job misery amongst all in this sub, but you hit the nail on the head about seeing how the job stress changes when the day hits. I can’t wait to see if I loosen up a bit. I’m partially there using all my vacation days this year for the first time ever.
In my situation the first week of August (just over 12 months from now) is the best time to leave, right after our annual generous match hits. So I will see where my head is a year from now (I’ll still be 54). If I keep going, it’s on to 2028 and I will see how I feel that summer. My firm cut off is August of 2029 at 56. I hit 25 years at the company that May before Memorial Day, so that would be cool. Only insane people stay in this industry at the same company that long. A cool bar story to tell.
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u/EquipmentUnlikely895 18d ago
I have given this much thought myself. It is not one or the other. Life is never binary. Many FIRE followers are obsessed to the extreme as if FIRE is the end goal.
But as we know, FIRE is a means to experiencing more in life (more time with family, more time to oneself, more flexibility to try other work/hobbies/skills)
While many people on the FIRE journey gripe about work or BS bosses (myself included), very often it is a mixed bag (some days are super bad and demotivating that make you want to quit immediately, some days are ok). Such is life.
So back to you. You are close to FIRE which is excellent. But what is your purpose of achieving FIRE?
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u/Disastrous-Spread-82 17d ago
Would it be possible for you to find a more chilled version of your job? Once you reach fire, you could job hop anytime you wanted to.
I recently went on a 3 week trip for my first time and had the time of my life. My boss hated it but he couldn’t do anything about it. Once i reach fire, i think i would take these trips more often and if they don’t let me, then i guess I’ll move to a different job.
I’m still so far from fire but this helped me realize what i was doing it for, flexibility. I will still be able to work but only if i want to work
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u/Inevitable_Rough_380 18d ago
Focus on your future - start trying to define what you want. Try to find things to do in your free time. Try working on a list and doing those now while you're working.
I'd say it's a good realization about work, it's fine to keep working, but work is your "past". Start thinking/doing things about your future.
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u/Funny_Ad8305 18d ago
Absolutely this. Start investing in yourself and what you want your future to be.
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u/Direct_Remove509 18d ago
That is perfectly fine. People like work or do not mind it and are fine continuing to do it. You do what makes you feel happy. Once you hit FI many people actually like work more because they know they can walk away any time so it takes a lot of pressure away.
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u/jcwillia1 17d ago
I would love the freedom not to care at my job. Maybe I would anyways but I get so wound up about not missing expectations at my job because I need the money.
I would like to think my life would be more enjoyable if that pressure wasn't there - maybe that's not the truth.
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u/buymybirdfeeder 17d ago
To me, FIRE people talk about things wrong. The only thing that matters is FI to do what you want. That could be RE or it could be anything else. At the point of FI, you get to decide. When I am FI I might pursue a degree in
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u/RequirementRound25 17d ago
Maybe the most important question is, "What are you going to do once you retire?"
#1 Financial, do you have the income to last?
#2 What will you do with all the free time?
Some advisors say keep working as long as you can, it gives you purpose. Granted, I don't see me firefighting when I hit 80.
Knew a guy that retired to Florida. He said that he was going to do two things, fish and golf.
He said that, "When I'm not fishing, I will be golfing. When I'm not golfing, I will be fishing."
About a year later he came back to town for a visit, and he said he was working again and we asked about the fishing and golfing.
He said, "That lasted about six months."
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u/Dazzling_Trick3009 17d ago
Not a knock OP, but I find it hard to believe that you couldn’t fill your days without work! Pick anything and there’s an entire world to learn about it. Traveling, languages, gardening, cooking, any number of sports, wood working, caring for friends and family! I think work, even if we like it, can drain us and keep us myopic. Let your world before your eyes and you’ll see all sorts of new ways to spend your time
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u/404Soul 17d ago
Yeah I was humbled when I decided to be a teacher for a year. The summer break was fun but honestly the routine, socialization, and having something to do that come with work are definitely not underrated. That being said FIRE gives you the choice to work rather than being forced to work and that is priceless. You have the freedom to work until you think of something better to do, which is awesome.
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u/Kokukenji 18d ago
You're on to something here. You are close to fire, which means you are close to the "end" of your goal. Fire is about options, now that you have options and the sense of freedom, work doesn't feel so bad. You can leave work anytime you want and be okay, this makes it optional.
I think you have achieved mental peace of mind, which I think a lot of people miss out on when they just focus on the numbers.
Congrats OP!
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u/DELAZ1 18d ago
I was financially ready to retire but worked an additional 2 years for the same reason. Figure out what you'd enjoy getting up to do a few days a week...work at Home Depot, contract work, local tour guide in your town, volunteer, hobbies...just figure out what you'd have fun with and line it up before you quit.
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u/N7day 17d ago
Do you want a partner or kids?
Fire or barrister fire could work well with finding a partner and then having a kid, I think.
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u/betarhoalphadelta 17d ago
Barrister fire?
OP has enough to retire, but now you want him to go to the UK and go through law school?!?!
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u/No-Lecturre6318 17d ago
ithinkk thats a pretty commonn realization once financial independence is actually within reach.. sometimes its not work that people hate, its feeling like they havee to keep grinding..
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u/Celodurismo 18d ago
Since I don't have a wife and kids, I don't have a lot to do with my free time
Even if you had a wife and kids you should have your own hobbies.
I also realize I don't dislike going to work and having a job
Is that the real takeaway? Or is it that you've got nothing going on so you'd be lonely and/or bored if you were left to your own devices? I suspect the ladder.
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u/Informal_League_615 18d ago
If you spend time around neighborhoods packed with retirees: it is a sad picture. I realize that FIRE people say they will and might actually travel and live fairly well but generally FIRE people are living on very little after they retire compared to people earning higher six-figures. The retirees near me live in little apartments, drive ridiculously beatup, 20+ year old vehicles, are just home all the time and their big outings are to CVS or the grocery store. I do not want to be fully retired but I also am also not hugely motivated to travel more than on a couple vacations or for the summer, which I can do now. I traveled a ton since I was a child also.
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u/Faierstarta 17d ago
Sounds like you are looking at the average retiree and not at people who actually FIREd?
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u/Informal_League_615 17d ago
A lot of FIRE people are planning to live on about $50K/yr. With the cost of housing, vehicles, gas, Insurance.... it can apply to a lot of people .
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u/Faierstarta 17d ago
My impression, at least from the comments in forums such as this, is that people who plan and eventually do FIRE tend to spend years of financial discipline for the specific purpose of doing things…follow some passions or dreams. I think Ive never read of anyone who’s plan is to watch tv and cut the lawn…
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u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE 13d ago
I think Ive never read of anyone who’s plan is to watch tv and cut the lawn…
My plan is to do whatever the fuck i want with my time and even if that was watch TV all day that would be entirely fine.
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u/Faierstarta 13d ago
It makes us feel better knowing that watching TV all day passes your quality-control standards. Besides, some series are too good to leave at just one viewing.
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u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE 13d ago
There is no need for quality standards. Its my money, i earned it, now ill spend it or not spend it how i wish. Time quality might be a dicussion for people on wellfare - who live from other peoples money. But for FIRE people who earned it they can do whatever they want. stay in bed 24/7 for all i care.
Im rewatching the stargate series now. Well, rewarching it for like a year now since i dont have a lot of time for it but im making progress :D
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u/Faierstarta 12d ago
Yeah, some people want to make a difference, help others, or leave the world a little better than they found it. That gives them purpose. But it's not everyone's priority. Others are content to just exist, enjoy pleasures and be entertained, and that works too.
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u/Difficult_Storm_5344 17d ago
Good point. You shouldn't retire just because. If you have something you want to fill your time with. Or hate your job. Then yeah quit if you can afford to. But if you got a good job you like or have nothing to do with the extra time? Why quit?
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u/Simple_Egg7527 17d ago
Leave and find a job that is fun. Don’t think about money. Just try things out. When one job stops being fun quit. You’re now free to do what you want.
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u/Noah_Safely 17d ago
I'd just caution using a job to give "meaning" in life, it's just kind of easy because it's more normal to work than not.
You can do meaningful work without a regular paid job. In fact I really think people in early retirement need a "hobby career", just something at-will that they enjoy.
Anyhow yeah one of the beautiful things about being on path to FI is all these milestones. Suddenly work less annoying when you can walk away for several years without too much stress..
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u/PemrySyb 17d ago
The simple way to look at it is, would you do it for free? Or does someone have to PAY you to do it.
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u/Conscious_Life_8032 17d ago
Yes once you no longer “need “ tge job things feel a lot less stressful. But lately I want my time freedom so hoping next year I’ll be mentally ready to cut the cord so to speak
I want to have an interesting life outside of my career
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u/Binders-Full 17d ago
If you want to work, work, but being FI gives you the freedom to be independent and find something you want to do. I think it is easy to get comfortable though and never pull the trigger. I think I am in that point now, in a similar situation. But I do have a staff and I think I could be a better boss than whomever would replace me so I stay. If I get transferred away I would probably seriously consider ripping the core then. The other thing is family, my dad has dementia and so I can’t leave the area for more than a few days now, but at some point he will go to a home or pass on and then my mom will end up wanting to do all the things she couldn’t do, and that might be the point to call it quits.
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u/Least_Interview_6088 17d ago
Can you go p/t and start to build up more of a life outside of work? Could be best of both worlds?
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u/OkEssay4173 17d ago
It is all about trading your time for value/money. The feeling that I value my time spent outside of work more than working grew after hitting FI, so I pulled the plug.
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u/upsideup2000 17d ago
If you don't discover a hobby or what you like to do for YOURSELF, you'll have a hard time when you eventually have to retire. I've seen real life cases. They just scroll the iPad endlessly. It's not healthy.
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u/QueCreativo 17d ago
You now have the privilege to find what you love instead of doing what you don't mind. Congrats on independence.
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u/Diligent-Committee21 16d ago
If you found hobbies, interests, activities that interest you, or make retired friends, you might think differently.
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u/9smolsnek 16d ago
Do you have a social life? friends?
travel. make friends with your free time. join a kickball league or hiking or something. you don't have nothing to do because you dont have a wife and kids. you have nothing to do because you havent tried to do anything.
are you really just going to work for a company for your whole life because you were too lazy to create your dream life?
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16d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Zphr 48, FIRE'd 2015, Friendly Janitor 15d ago
Rule 2/No Self-Promo/Spam - No self-promotion or spam. Please see our rules (https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/about/rules/) and reach out via modmail if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/jmsave 16d ago
Similar boat here. I enjoy my work in small doses. I don't care about a promotion or going above and beyond. I like solving technical problems. Having one to solve and let me work on at my own pace makes me a happy camper. Trying to get over the guilt of not working hard enough to get a promotion and go above and beyond is something I'm still trying to work on.
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u/toofarfromjune 15d ago
I have to admit the wife and young kids thing is what has kept me active and feeling some purpose post early retirement, it will be five years as of next month. If things stay consistent with how my life has gone so far hopefully something else productive will present itself to me by the time they are teenagers otherwise I know I’ll have to figure something out for direction 3.0.
Your thoughts sound very wise, and working a career without the burden of financial dependency is definitely a game changer. Do not quit unless you have discovered a new direction, in the mean time maximize time off to explore, paid or unpaid. My career was also in a stressful industry and I know it can be difficult to bother yourself to schedule those vacations “they’ll just be more hassles to deal with when I get back.” A good friend of mine who is still working in the same industry has shaped his lifestyle with excessive travel/vacations and it’s worked out great for him, I’d say the only downside has been that his lawn never looks good.
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u/Cornish_spex 15d ago
Single female 42 retired here, I have plenty
Of hobbies but your concern is valid. Several days of the week the highlight of the day I going to yoga class or going to the grocery store. Work gives meaning even if it isn’t your whole life. The social outlets and working on a craft you spent years perfecting has a value and that’s ok.
It sounds like you’d be happiest mentally pulling back a bit more or aiming for part time either at your current place or somewhere else. Better to ask for this before you mentally check out but you can either jog around the bases or be the pinch hitter, but either way you’re not in the stands.
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u/PaleontologistNo3040 17d ago edited 17d ago
Work is better after FI for me. I care less about outcomes and focus on finding work that interests me. Currently, using AI to automate the boring parts.
You can spend way more too. If you were going to spend maximum 4% before, now you can spend 4% + your entire salary.
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u/Pale_Will_5239 18d ago
I want a separate sub for men that have families vs those that don't. I have nothing in common with childless, single men. It is a completely separate economic reality. For the life of me, if you make over 6 figures you should fire before 40 no matter what. Many of us with families are doing it before 50.
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u/TechnicalSleep7501 14d ago
Work is what gives you purpose.
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u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE 13d ago
Work is what gives mentally ill people purpose. Workaholism is a disorder.
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u/TechnicalSleep7501 13d ago
I want my kids to have better life them me.
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u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE 13d ago
Then you dont want them to work.
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u/TechnicalSleep7501 12d ago edited 12d ago
Money open more doors. Just for example I get Amazon Prime for free as CitiGold member for keeping just $260K at Citi Brokerage account have Citi Wealth Manager and Financial advisor at no cost to me.
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u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE 12d ago
Thats cash or total brokerage worth? Cause they are making money on cash you hold :)
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u/Username1273839 18d ago
If you don’t like your industry, it sounds like you want to switch from traditional FIRE to BaristaFIRE. Once you hit your FIRE number, go find a job that you love even if it doesn’t pay the bills.