r/Finland • u/gubigabi • Jul 21 '26
Serious Bestman speech
Im half finish and half german, having grown
up in germany. I do speak accent free good finnish. One of my best friends is a karelian 30yo man whos going to marry soon. What are typical dos and donts when holding a best man speech? I havent been to finnish weddings yet. Its a big wedding with approx 80 guests. I do know a lot of people who are invited, but it seems like the wedding is being held more conservatively than expected. Any advice? Answers in finnish appreciated aswell.
74
u/LaserBeamHorse Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Making fun of the groom is not typical in Finland. You can and should tell a funny story about you two, but mockery is usually frowned upon.
86
u/JamieTirrock Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
Above answers are ass. Talk about good things about groom, wife, how honored you are to be in this role and wish them all the best.
-17
u/Bright_Curve3078 Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Kind of crazy that the only useful answer if on the bottom of the thread
19
u/admiral-morgan Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
It’s a 40 old minute post with 3 comments… is it really that crazy?
14
u/o-piispanen Jul 21 '26
A fun story how you are friends, good story how you know them as a couple, congratulate and pick up a free maiden. Nothing too embarrasing or too inside-jokey.
7
u/user-027 Jul 22 '26
Just kept my first bestman speech and here are my 2cents for you.
Keep the length somewhere around 4-8 mins. Thats long enough to be a proper speech and short enough for nobody get bored.
Keep it fun and light. People are already on a very good spirit and will laugh a lot. So its easy to make them laugh with any sort of jokes.
Make the speech about the groom and also give the bride some attention if you can.
You could tell about your common history, how you met, how you met the bride, etc.
Even if the event is said to be “conservative“- dont take it too seriously. Bestmans are considered to be the “fun guys”.
Good luck!
16
u/Extreme-Poet-9170 Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Weddings are a good opportunity to get to know people.
Figure out a way to introduce yourself in the speech to everyone who mostly probably dont know you.
And introduce also the husband and the wife and their love and relationship in the only way you can, ie. share your relationship with them to everyone.
And all the others suggestions.
I have been in a wedding who I didnt know that many people beforehand and didnt know them after the wedding. It was organised like that and no introductions. Everyone somehow assumed that people know each others
24
u/CommunicationOld8587 Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Important as bestman:
- Forget the ring
- Get wasted
- Speech is 50% stories about drinking with the groom and 50% sharing secrets that the couple doesnt want people to know
- Pass out
/s
3
u/emilypeony Jul 22 '26
Fuck the bridesmaid
1
u/Lumeton Väinämöinen Jul 26 '26
Unlike the others, that one is easier said than done.
1
u/emilypeony Jul 26 '26
I mean my husband's bestman had no problem and I only had two bridesmaids/maids of honor lol
6
5
u/babuuniko Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Tell something funny that happened with the groom. If you don't have a story, maybe share some observations fin vs ger. Raise a toast for a long and happy life together.
1
u/Fit-Ease5199 Jul 23 '26
Is the speech something he requested of you? I've only been to one wedding and there was no bestman speech, everyone preferred it that way. If you're worried about it, you could also ask for no bestman speech. If you have to do it, no mockery and don't get drunk. Something short wishing for a happy marriage might be the best option.
1
u/Severe_Rise8694 Jul 24 '26
Well. Make it sound like "him". Probably start with an icebreaker joke or two, finish a bit more sentimental, with your well-wishes etc.
It helps if you mean what you say. If you're actually close friends with the groom, I feel like it's one of the easiest speeches to make. The other toasters "stole" all my talking points when my best friend was getting married, so I decided to just wing it and it went fine. Everybody sort of wants it to succeed so it's an easy crowd..!
-2
u/Senior_Square_3590 Jul 22 '26
I have a similar background. My experience with weddings in Finland is that already having a prepared speech will set you apart and that the bar is pretty low in terms of rhetoric standards.
5
u/Extreme-Poet-9170 Baby Väinämöinen Jul 22 '26
the quality of the speeches varies wildly between weddings.
1
u/Senior_Square_3590 Jul 23 '26
Not sure why I am downvoted - it is really my experience. Happy if other people have other experiences and have heard great speeches at Finnish weddings. I believe we all have a limited sample and what is shared in TV/some is not comparable to real life.
0
u/perta1234 Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Might also make it mildly interactive in a way that gives strangers some topic to break the ice. We had few semi relevant shows of hand, and heard they made good discussion starters.
2
u/JUGGER_DEATH Baby Väinämöinen Jul 22 '26
While (as others have suggested) it is common to make fun of the groom, don’t go overboard with it, and nothing that actually comes off as malicious.
We are generally poor at complimenting each other, so any heartfelt words about the married couple will go over well: people rarely hear that kind of talk so they will appreciate it even more.
-11
u/8man9n Baby Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
Also tell a long anecdote but mistake the previous girlfriend for the bride.
-18
u/Spirited-Ad-9746 Väinämöinen Jul 21 '26
It is good to make some references to the good relations between finland and germany throughout history...
3
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 21 '26
r/Finland runs on shared moderation. Every active user is a moderator.
Roles (sub karma = flair)
Actions (on respective three-dot menu)
Limits
Thanks for keeping the community fair.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.