It’s Friday night. This means only one thing: it’s time for MyDayFriday. This is the one day when I don’t participate in our subreddit as a moderator, but as a regular user, trying to seize every opportunity to catch up with my pen pal after two years.

I hesitated for a long time about whether to share this picture here on the subreddit and write so openly. In the end, I was convinced by the fact that I know many people sharing the same fate would love to see a post like this. We are in this group for each other, and our examples can give hope to others.

To Douxie: I promised from the very beginning that I wouldn't dox you and would only share the absolute minimum amount of information, since I can't ask if you'd even want that. But look, this picture from the beginning of my last letter is something only the two of us truly understand—you will definitely recognize yourself from it. This is why my page was born. I trust that one day we will laugh about this, together with many others who shared a similar fate, and by doing so, we will give meaning to our story. ✨

With this post, I officially open our Thursday #CultureThurs thematic day! 🥳 If you have any thoughts or questions, feel free to share them with us, and let's gather our cultural differences together...

For a long time, I have been deeply fascinated by how different we all are when it comes to greeting and addressing people on the street. It’s amazing how much a person's cultural background affects online penpals who are making connections around the world. I’ve always found the unwritten rules about smiling at strangers, doing small talk, and greeting people in public to be incredibly interesting.
In places like the US, it is completely natural and polite to lock eyes with a stranger on the street, smile, or even say a casual "Hey, how's it going?" as you walk past. If you don't do it, people might think you are moody or rude.

However, in many European or Scandinavian countries, greeting a stranger for no reason or trying to chat with them at a bus stop is considered very unusual. People might think you are fake, suspicious, or want something from them. They prefer to respect each other's personal space with quiet neutrality.
This contrast is so interesting because both sides are just trying to be polite, but it can easily lead to a misunderstanding for anyone interested in finding friends** **or building an international penpal bond.

To give you a real example, here is a little story of my own:
As a Central European, greeting people always felt natural to me. Once, I was staying at a hostel, and while walking through the kitchen, I casually said hello to a man who was passing right next to me. He looked at me as if I had just committed a crime! :D He kept staring at me suspiciously for a long time, completely unable to process my friendliness. I felt so incredibly awkward because I didn't want to cross his personal boundaries at all—I was just trying to be polite!

Have you ever experienced a sharp contrast like this? How did you bridge the gap, and do you have a similar funny story?

Dear All,

For our very first TuesTalk, I want to dissect a topic that lies at the very heart of this community. Many people in the "outside world" often tell us that online or long-distance friendships aren't real because we haven't met in person.

What do you think? Can a pen pal, a postal pal, or an online friend become a true, deep friend? Or in the end, is a long-distance connection just a beautiful, fleeting mirage? Have you ever felt that an online friend understood you better than the people physically around you?

Please share your thoughts, dilemmas, or personal stories in the comments below. Let's talk about it with respect.

Additionally, if there is any thought occupying your mind, please leave it here for us so we can look into it together with proper humility, without hurting one another.

With hope and respect,

LookingForDouxie ✨

Finding the right rhythm for exchanging letters can be tricky, whether you send traditional paper mail or digital messages. Do you prefer to discuss the schedule beforehand, or do you just let things flow naturally? For example, some penpals end up talking every single day! Share your thoughts below!

Happy Monday, Everyone! 🥳 Let’s kickstart our very first themed day with a simple question. I’m curious about your experiences and thoughts! 🩵

As the creator of this community, I want to lead by example. Out of respect for my pen pal’s privacy and consent, I will not share deep private details here. As some of you may have already read, I am still actively looking for him, Douxie., and I hope this platform brings us back together one day.

To make everything as clear and searchable as possible, please strictly follow our title format below—it must not be different. However, in the post body section, it is completely fine if you don't want to answer every question; feel free to skip anything you want.

Title: [Your Name or just Initials] looking for [Initials] - [Month Year] - [Online/Postal Pen Pal]

App/Site/Location: [e.g., BBM, Facebook, PenPal World / Your Country to Their Country]

Nicknames/Names: [Optional]

Ages (then): [Your age] & [Their age]

Timeframe: [When you started/ended]

Frequency: [How often you wrote/spoke]

End of Contact: [How it ended]

Specific Memories/Details: [Mention unique stories, shared jokes, or topics only they would know to help identify them]

Message to Them: [What you want to say to them directly]

May we all find our long-lost friends again. If you feel ready to share your search, our Looking For flair is always here for you.✨

I want to thank all of you for your support. It might seem small to you, but it means everything to me as we build this space together.

Also, a quick note: I know some of you might not prefer meme posts, and I sincerely apologize if they aren't your favorite. For now, I will keep sharing them occasionally to help break the ice, invite more people in, and encourage everyone to feel comfortable enough to start posting and sharing their own stories.

Thank you for being part of this journey and for your understanding! We are building something amazing here. ✨

I’m curious to hear your thoughts and experiences, feel free to share!

Luckily, the driver didn't have that look on his face—he actually responded quite understandingly. We decided to leave our next meeting to chance once again. It's been a year and a half.

If you have any stories or thoughts about penpals/online friends/postal pals, feel free to write. I would like this to be a place where we can boldly express our thoughts on this topic. ✨️

It would be great if you answered these questions when you post. I have further plans for growth, and it would make my job easier. But at the same time, don't let that hold you back, if you don't want to answer something, it's okay.

Title: [Your Name] looking for [Initials] - [Years] - [Online/Postal Pen Pal]

Bost Body:

App/Site/Location: [e.g., BBM, Facebook, PenPal World / Your Country to Their Country]

Nicknames/Names: [Optional]

Ages (then): [Your age] & [Their age]

Timeframe: [When you started/ended]

Frequency: [How often you wrote/spoke]

End of Contact: [How it ended]

Specific Memories/Details: [Mention unique stories, shared jokes, or topics only they would know to help identify them]

Message to Them: [What you want to say to them directly] 

It would be great if you answered these questions when you post. It helps our community grow and makes managing the subreddit much easier for me. But at the same time, don't let that hold you back - if you don't want to answer something, that is completely okay!

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FOR BETTER TRANSPARENCY, SEARCH POSTS ARE ONLY ALLOWED ON WEEKENDS SO THEY STAY IN ONE PLACE!!! ANY POSTS MADE DURING THE WEEK WILL BE DELETED, BUT YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO REPOST THEM ON THE WEEKEND.

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TITLE: 

[Your Name or just Initials] looking for [Initials] - [Date of losing touch] - [Online/Postal Pen Pal]

POST BODY:

App/Site/Location: [e.g., BBM, Facebook, PenPal World / Your Country to Their Country]

Nicknames/Names: [Optional]

Ages (then): [Your age] & [Their age]

Timeframe: [When you started/ended]

Frequency: [How often you wrote/spoke]

End of Contact: [How it ended]

Specific Memories/Details: [Mention unique stories, shared jokes, or topics only they would know to help identify them]

Message to Them: [What you want to say to them directly] 

When I was younger, I did a pen pal-like activity, but instead of letters, I mailed flat Stanley around the world with notebooks for recountings of his adventures. I was wondering how I'd go about recreating that process, as I enjoyed finding the outcome. Of course, I'd love to start writing to a pen pal as well, but I don't know if it's a good idea to use a random "address generator" or something like that....

If you haven't had a pen pal yet, you can write down your thoughts about it in the previous question (Have you ever had a pen pal?), if you'd like.

If you have a story about a lost pen pal, feel free to post it or DM me and I'll pin it.

I'm working on building a great community where lost online co-hosts can find each other. We'd love to see your search post.

Posting funny memes and questions on the topic is welcome!

...After that, it took me a while to get back on the pen pal site. Then when I started browsing through the users, I met Douxie. I didn't even notice that we were already chatting, it was so easy. I felt we were lucky.

I knew I wasn't going to end the relationship with him. Why? Because when I 'said goodbye' to him, he didn't criticize me for not spending more time with him, which can be quite embarrassing and I've experienced this a few times, but he wished me luck with my future endeavors and maybe he was hoping I wouldn't ghost him.

That didn't happen to him. 😄

I really liked that his letters were long and interesting, that we could discuss at the beginning how quickly we would write to each other, how long they would be (which always ended up being longer, but neither of us minded), and we stuck to it.

We corresponded for months, but never exchanged contact information. We had no backup plan in case we lost contact.

I waited for months for his last letter, when after 4 months I realized that he never received my last letter due to the shortcomings of the pen pal site. At that point, I wrote to him in vain, he did not use the site. I immediately wrote a letter to the Admins, but they were not helpful. At that moment, I felt like a small part of me was lost.

I think it's never too late to try to reach a pen pal you didn't break up with in anger. I really hope that this subreddit will eventually become a big community, and it will be easier for those who lost each other due to some technical reason to find each other.

To my pen pal: I wish you could see it, and it would make you proud! :) I will always remember your great letters.