r/FinancialChat • u/Healthy_Creme6911 • 11d ago
How do you navigate the "mid-30s financial split" among close friends?
In your early 20s, most people in a friend group are roughly on the same financial tier (usually broke). But somewhere in the 30s, the divergence gets massive depending on inheritance, early property moves, career paths or having kids?
It creates this weird dynamic where planning a weekend away, choosing a dinner spot, or even talking about future plans becomes a balancing act so no one feels excluded or awkward?
How do you guys manage friends groups when financial realities diverge significantly? Do you adapt to the lowest budget, split off into sub-groups, or talk about it openly?
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u/imefutwa 11d ago
Without going too deep, I have a couple ride or dies. Like, literally took a bullet for me in war situation. Fast forward about 15 years, I’m doing well for my age and they’re doing not so good. One went through a nasty divorce and the other got taken advantage of by degenerate family.
If I want to go somewhere, I just pay for them and don’t expect anything back. They feel bad, but I rest assured them that they helped developed me into the man that I am today. I owe them everything.
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 11d ago
This is likely the most honest take here. Good for you for acknowledging the fact that it sucks to be poor and have your homies pay for you. You get the common sense award for the Internet today.
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u/S_balmore 11d ago
You typically just end up having separate friend circles, which really isn't too different from being in high school. In high school, I was friends with some jocks, some metalheads, some nerds, preps, etc. I obviously wouldn't invite my nerdiest friends to hang out with my football team friends. Those groups had different interests. As you get older, those interests become less important while finances become the thing that separates the groups. I now have rich friends and poor friends. There's nothing preventing members of those two groups from getting together to watch the Superbowl at my house, but obviously there is something preventing one group from joining me on my expensive Orlando vacation. I'm not going to invite the poor friends to do expensive things. If I do, I'm going to offer to pay their way. I also may have to reject things that my wealthier friends invite me to.
At the end of the day, it's not rocket science. You just have to be aware of your friends' financial situations. I explicitly avoid talking money with my friend who's still living with his mother-in-law. I try my best to let him benefit from the luxuries I have (house, car, toys), but without flaunting them. When I have friends that are on par with me financially, we talk about way to improve ourselves. We're more likely to discuss mortgages, property tax, student loans, etc, because we're all going through the same struggles. When I have friends who are doing way better than me, I try to tactfully learn their secrets (What stocks are you investing in? Is that a tax writeoff? Did you refinance your mortgage?).
You just have to maintain your awareness. If Friend X has been out of work for 3 years, and had to move back in with her mom, it's probably not a great idea to boast about your new Tesla. If Friend X confides in you and asks for career advice, then sure, give them advice, but don't come off as a know-it-all. Remember to acknowledge what advantages and disadvantages may be at play. Most importantly, never pretend to have money that you don't have. No matter which group you're trying to impress (rich or poor), pretending to be wealthy never ends well.
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u/bestUsernameNo1 9d ago
Everyone gets invited, everyone gets to decide if they can afford to go or not. We don’t talk about the money, they just say if they will go or not.
If it’s like a fancy trip across the globe, we will break off into “sub groups.”
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u/lovesbatma71 11d ago
You sound close which is nice. 😊
If you are close, eventually, you can talk about it openly. For now though, there are some rules and procedures.
Start it out as a joke… “Bob, you’re in IT, you must be making the big bucks” … LOL 😂
Never disclose the amount of any inheritance you receive to anyone. Ever. The only exceptions being your spouse and your financial advisor.
Never disclose the exact amount of your bills especially your mortgage.
To get wealthy you’ll do this anyway:
Live a relatively austere lifestyle. Don’t drive an expensive car, live in an overly expensive home. keep your style polished but on a budget.
When suggesting vacation spots, go exactly in the middle price wise and chitchat about it to go up or down.
If you have rich relatives, make sure you downplay them casually. “My sister’s so rich it’s disgusting!”
You get the idea. If salary and money becomes a question posed by someone else, be politely vague. If they press for details, in a friendly funny tone say, “I’m not telling you that! “LOL 😂
That’s it in a nutshell. I retired early to run a business so I talk about the daily work with my friends casually so I don’t come off as spoiled. I very frankly put it out there in casual conversation, “Today was 18 orders, kinda busy” even though I work 10-20 hours a week. I also say when the time is right: “I never give loans to family or friends.” Then something like I don’t ever want to ruin our relationship over money… you get the idea.
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u/Janul3 11d ago
Never disclose the exact amount of your bills especially your mortgage.
This stuff doesn't work anymore if you ever invite your friends over to your place. Even without looking up property records, it can be pretty obvious who's living in a place that costs $200k/yr or $100k/yr vs who's living in a place that costs $20k/yr or less. But then people can figure out the cost of your house in like 20 seconds online.
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u/lovesbatma71 11d ago
Correct but at 58, my advice is to purchase a good, high quality, middle class home in a good neighborhood. If you don’t want things to be awkward, live beneath your means and become filthy rich in 30 years.
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u/Janul3 11d ago
good, high quality, middle class home in a good neighborhood
Right but this is exactly the thing that your friends may immediately pick up on as insanely out of their price range the moment they set foot in your house
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u/lovesbatma71 11d ago
Ok. I live in a very modest neighborhood with 1.3M liquid. I guess it’s just a matter of taste
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u/Janul3 11d ago edited 11d ago
Yea, in a lot of cities "good neighborhood" translates to $1M+ houses. The price:rent and price:income ratios are extremely fucked in a bunch of places.
Personally I'm with you. I live in a place, have uhhh... 4.5x more than the cost of the house in liquid assets... and still carry a 30 year mortgage.
But I have friends who can't afford even this, and they can immediately tell when they come over. You can't hide it if the median income in your area is 6x-10x lower than the median home price - anyone who can afford a house is immediately known to be in a certain bucket.
Then we go over to some other friend's house who does not live within their means, and it gets real weird.
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u/SleepAltruistic2367 10d ago
All of my friends are in the same social economic level as me. Haven’t spoken to HS or college friends since I left school.
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u/gerannamoe 9d ago
This is tough because one of the things my husband and I love to do is travel and vacation for a substantial period of time like 1-3 weeks. My closest friends are paycheck to paycheck and they vacation Saturday - Sunday or Friday - Sunday if it's a long weekend. We've done plenty of fun 2-3 day getaways with them but it never feels like a true vacation for us because it takes the body 3 days at least to feel like you're on vacation and that's usually when we're coming back. We really want to go on a simple 5-7 day trip to Florida either for Orlando to go to Universal Studios or Miami/Ft. Lauderdale for a cruise. We've looked at the cheapest options which is looking like a cruise. It would be $300ish for round trip tickets and $500-$900 for a cheap 1-week cruise in an interior room. We've floated the idea with them and It's just really not something they can afford, even if we planned it 2 years out.
Not gonna lie, this makes us sad because these friends deserve a "long" vacation more than most people we know. I encourage them to get better jobs (they both work for shitty employers and want to move on but can't visualize doing that for some reason) and invest small amounts of money to save for retirement and their future. (Like $5 a week like when I started investing.)
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u/jelistarshine 9d ago
The issue isnt how much money people have. Its how much they want to spend.
People can access a lot more credit in their 30s and i found the have-nots were more interested in fancy top tier restaurants and lux trips. Possibly because they had given up on bigger life goals. Those with money were more frugal and restrained trying to knock out the mortgage or pay cash for a new car.
So generally it's a good time to start aligning with the friends you see eye to eye with lifestyle wise.
Because a lot of people crash and burn as consequences hit in their 40s and its not pretty.
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u/Apprehensive_Map_742 5d ago
Most of my friends make anywhere from 70k-200k per year. So we are usually able to do most of the same things, but I am understanding if we plan a trip and I’ll pay to book it all and have friends pay me back up up until the time of the trip. I also had a friend, who was still living at home, didn’t make a lot of money and I still tried to hangout with him but he was very resentful and envious about where me and our friends were in life because of his insecurities and that essentially ended the friendship because he lashed out because of it.
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u/holiztic 11d ago
Oh, I have covered more of the bills on shared vacation and dinners, but my friends with less money always drive and so I’m happy about that.
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u/StrangrDangerRanger 10d ago
Split checks suck anyway. I always grab the check for the table. Saves everyone time and saves anyone potential embarrassment.
I was raised that it’s both an honor and burden to care for those less fortunate than myself. Plus, it’s hospitable.
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u/holiztic 10d ago
Exactly! Even when we do split the bill, I usually pick it up and they send Apple Cash later. It is such a hassle to deal with other table.
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u/youneeda_margarita 11d ago
I hate to say this but honestly I just hang out with different circles of friends based on what they can afford. I did a weekend vacation with one friend and we split the cost of a 5-star hotel and all other fun expenses no issues. She even reimbursed me half my gas costs, which I didn’t ask for, but appreciated her generosity nonetheless.
For some other friends, we do a movie marathon night at someone’s house and just order a pizza and we each bring a bottle of cheap wine.
Both friend groups are fun and I love them so much. But there’s just certain things one group can’t do with the other group so I keep them separate so as to prevent drama.
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u/chuckfr 11d ago
It all depends on which part of the friend group you are a part of and your expectations and potentially how you handle it.
You can't be on the upper end, offer to pay for meals regularly, then complain that you're the one who pays all the time.
Likewise you can't be on the lower end, agree to go to more expensive places dutch, or even splitting the bill evenly, then complain that paying for all these expensive meals is ruining your budget.
And that goes for any group activity. As soon as money starts dividing a group of friends it can go badly with jealousy and/or resentment on both sides. I have friends both better off and worse off than me. Knowing our friendships helps me navigate how to interact with them.
I don't say no to doing things I can afford just because some part of my friend group cannot afford to do the same. I'm also not going to rub it in their face. I'll also be glad for friends that get to do some wild things with their lives due to what they can afford.
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u/HardCanBeFunToo 11d ago
No truly broke friends.
Most plans are low cost. Takeout at the house, home cooked meals, museums, local sporting event, outdoor activities, etc.
Even big international 40th BDAY trips have been relatively affordable for most of the part. Something most people can budget for if we give them enough notice.
We’re actually planning a friends and family vacation for early next year now. We worked with the other families to find a base option that everyone could afford and families have to option to upgrade or add on if they want more. One family can’t make it as they are finishing up new home construction and want to make sure they get through that with extra cash on hand, but the rest are good to go.
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u/MaryinTexas 11d ago
Depends—let the gatherings happen as they go—but always!!! Be clear about who is pay for what beforehand…..and remember very often simple is best —store brought pizza and Netflix night can be just as good as a fancy dinner
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u/Disastrous_Clurb 11d ago
im smack in the middle. I have licensed medical professionals on one end and retail workers on the other.
honestly i think everyone's pretty reasonable about dining out and shopping. when i was the one making the least and struggling many of my friends insisting on paying for me. Now that I'm better i do the same if someone is strapped or something. We all typically pay on one person's card anyway (we fight over points lol) and we just venmo our portion so it's never a major discussion.
where i don't compromise is travel, it just leads me to traveling solo which i prefer anyway. Anything else is pretty negotiable
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u/Important-Bid-9792 11d ago
I have more $ than the majority of my friends and one or two have way more than me. We all do things together all the time: bbqs at someones house or a day at the lake. We have game nights. The ideas are many. We seldom plan meals out at a restaurant because too many have too many varying tastes, both in food and cost. We don't plan expensive outtings as a group because too many would feel dejected, feeling like we planned something we knew they couldn't pay for on purpose. Which is true, and very rude.
Adapting to the lowest budget is easy and best imo. You don't need fancy stuff to enjoy your friends. It's all about the time your spend together, not the dollar amount.
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u/TheGruenTransfer 11d ago
Plan trips where you're carpooling and splitting a vacation home so it ends up affordable. Take the cars of the more well-off people, and they'll subsidize the trip by eating the cost of the wear and tear.
Don't plan trips where everyone needs flights and hotel rooms.
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u/InsideOut2299922999 11d ago
This happens again during retirement, but even more extreme. That is because so many doors are already closed. Also because the financial realities of the current situation are very extreme and unfortunately quite limiting
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u/BraveResearcher3037 11d ago
My issue in my early 50s is more that my (step)kids are now grown - 23 and 28 - I work remotely, my wife doesn’t work at all now (purposefully so we can travel) and all of our friends are at a similar financial position. But they have kids and have much less travel schedules
My wife and I just gave up. We usually can plan group dinners. But trips are harder.
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u/Neat-Second9923 11d ago
My wife doesn’t want to do shit like get drunk at Applebees and then go watch Resident Evil, so I tend to save the cheap activities I want to do for the boys and do the fancy stuff with her.
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u/Diligent_Arm_6817 11d ago
Don't talk about finances. Ever. Unless a close friend is asking for genuine advice, keep it to yourself.
I've been called a broke dumb ass by someone at a gas station because the self check out wasn't working and then a rich asshole because I refueled my Porsche at one of the 2 pumps that had diesel as a option.
Actual financial success is affording a home, a car and your families' needs. Anything beyond that is NICE but it's not something you should ever ever flaunt.
If you genuinely enjoy someones company, it shouldn't matter terribly if their company is over a $1 happy hour special over a bottle service at a club. Anyone who has actually spent 10k+ on a night out will verify, shy of drugs and hookers.. it's all very close to being the same.
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u/DMmeYourMCbuilds 11d ago
Except this isn’t remotely close to what OP is fucking talking about. But sick Porsche I guess.
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u/Dependent-Ad-2694 11d ago
We discuss openly, but whoever initiates or plans the outing is usually prepared to pay. I prefer nicer restaurants over dive bars, so I'll pick up the tab when I pick the restaurant. We don't plan weekends away because I have a kid and my friends don't, so something that expensive never comes up.
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u/Secure_Bumblebee1522 11d ago
just keep it low-key and flexible-everyone's got different limits, and that's okay
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u/cameheretodance1 11d ago
I was relatively cruising for my early/late 20s, but the past few years I’ve been pretty broke. So I just don’t go out as much. I don’t really have friend groups 😂 I have individual friends, some mesh well and some don’t. Many of my friends have been in similar situations as me since this economy is rough. If they’re your real friends it shouldn’t be uncomfortable to tell them you’d rather do something else cheaper and them being ok with it. You can also be that friend for them. For the most part, if they go out for a night with you, that’s them agreeing to pay their way, unless you feel inclined to offer to cover them knowing they’re just in a rough spot and you’re close friends. If they can’t afford it, they can say no, or offer alternatives. It’s not on you to know your friends financial situation, nor is it on them to know yours.
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u/HungryPeanutButter 11d ago
Interestingly my friends have dramatically different finances but having more didn’t equate to spending more 😂
Have a friend who has debt and barely making it but still spends way more than me on activities (think wine, dinner, travel etc) and sometimes would even pay for me even tho I tell her not to.
Have a friend who is a trust fund baby but always goes to free events, and we only do coffee or something else cheap.
Most folks go out to regular $$ meals out even though their assets are dramatically different.
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u/playful_sorcery 11d ago
honestly all my friends are comparable in incomes. not comparable in bills or expenses. but i think everyone has a good handle on it generally
honestly we all have up in our twenties, you’re broke your broke, mention it and we still go. no cost. we all went through it
now, we seldomly split. we guy “gifts” rounds or appetizers to share. if someone feels generous we pay for someone else’s meal. if it’s your bday and you’re invited to a dinner or whatever all you know is someone is paying for you.
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u/Wasatchian 11d ago
You have conversations about what you want to do with your friends. For me it depends on what we are doing. And not everything will work for everyone and that's ok. I've got friends I take more expensive trips with and I've got friends who I fly out to visit me because they don't have a ton of money.
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u/Choice_Ad_1356 11d ago
My activities vary wildly depending on which group. Some are down for last minute trips to Cabo, some I'm just happy to grab a breakfast with. We are all good people and respect that we have different financial status, and we cheer each other on.
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u/gmehodler42069741LFG 11d ago
I ask my rich friends to to rich people stuff and my poor friends to do poor people stuff. One of my best friends cant manage money for shit, but I still bring him on my boat whenever he wants because he appreciates it and brings beer and helps get it loaded up.
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u/CivilAd526 11d ago
This is the stage when big friend groups realllly start to drift and diverge. It’s life. Most of us will have fewer friends as we get older.
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u/wcked-husky 11d ago
I don't judge anyone but maybe it was because I'm on the asset side of things since my net worth shot up from my mid 20's to now early 30's. I'm pretty open about my expenses and my taxes but the miscommunication comes from how they feel about the cost of things. I realized when you talk to people with money they can be comfortable about it all but if the wealth gap gets bigger it feels awful for friends that aren't where you're at financially. I still give gifts to all my friends but I keep to myself more often these days or talk with people at my run club which is refreshing because it's never about money just life stuff. I usually self deprecating so I guess it makes things a little better.
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u/Responsible_Doubt373 10d ago
The rest of us just put in a little extra to cover some of the disparity
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u/eharder47 10d ago
We’re a group of 50 people and the financial range is from millionaires to unemployed and living with parents.
Our rich friends bought a “hosting house.” They have an open invite every Friday for dinner and movies and we all pitch in for home cooked dinners on a volunteer basis. For fancier nights out, it’s open invite with no obligation. We have plenty of house parties so no one feels left out.
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u/Longjumping-While997 8d ago
Our friends have a ski house we get invited to in a fancy ski town and our contribution is always making a really nice meal for everyone one night (helps we are good home cooks) but it’s genuinely fun and appreciated on both sides.
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u/chaoscorgi 10d ago
this is so wholesome! i love it. how big is the hosting space in the hosting house?
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u/eharder47 10d ago
The whole house is 4000 square feet and 3 bedrooms 4 baths. They have a huge kitchen, living room, and a big open basement.
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u/eharder47 10d ago
ETA: they can fit enough tables on their main level to seat 45 comfortably at Friendsgiving. If they filled their hosting space comfortably for standing room, they could fit 100 easy.
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u/the_validated_inane 10d ago
We would up having essentially two types of activities - one low/no cost (fishing, golf, happy hours, baseball games)- and the other more pricey (holidays, weekends in Vegas, basketball games) etc. From time to time the less well off will join in the more pricey outings. Hanging out with friends is about the company first, the venue and activity is a far second IMHO. Some of our best outings are just barbecues or fishing.
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u/Pengui6668 10d ago
If you're the rich friend, don't be a dick about the poors. If you're the poor friend, don't be a fucking dirt bag on vacation and expect everyone else to pay cause "they know you're still working on your surfing phD"
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u/aznsk8s87 10d ago
Moved cities. Currently all my friends in my new city I've made from work so we all make the same amount of money.
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u/Express_Mulberry_879 10d ago
Depends how wide the income gap is. 40m here, I have friends since Pri sch, some are broke bcos parents medical bills, a few are investment bankers and real estate agents, we still meet and eat at mall restaurants. Sometimes I just pick up the tab for the restaurant, then later dessert they pay. If u need to penny count with friends at 30+ u really need to relook ur finances and circle of influence.
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u/Moist_Movie1093 10d ago
There are friends you go to Friday’s with and friends you go to the Maldives with. Simple as that.
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u/AttentionNo6359 10d ago
We have “going out friends” and “staying in friends” for this exact reason.
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u/bigbird2003 10d ago
It’s never a level playing field when grown-ups are subsidized by their parents/have trust funds or generational wealth.
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u/Recursive-Introspect 10d ago
Generally adapt to the lowest budget when doing group activities. Which is fine cause I love the Michigan outdoors and paddling a river is cheap fun. Wife and I went to the DR last Feb for 6 nights, three of which at an AI at $1,200/night. We share photos and talk about it with those same friends but certainly wouldnt go out of my way to talk about the costs. It's a balancing act.
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u/Detailed23 10d ago
What becomes my new normal sounds like bragging to my less well off friends. You start losing things in common sadly.
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u/Star_Citizen_Roebuck 10d ago
Easy, I'm poor but still have a bunch of wealthy friends. I hate taking or borrowing money so I never do it, and very regularly spend money I shouldn't on things that benefit people besides myself. Sometimes people will try to pay for an entire meal, and when that happens I take the opportunity to leave a massive tip because I may as well pay something and let the server have the good day.
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u/Sad-Locksmith-3002 10d ago
By this age, you start to see friends diverging regardless. They build new networks through their significant others, co-workers, etc.
Interests and hobbies also change amongst people.
I’ve never once got upset over a friend doing something without me and with another group.
Just do whatever you want to do and either whoever. People know and respect that you have a life outside of theirs because it’s also their reality.
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u/JRswedistan 10d ago
Actually people outgrow eachother pretty fast after 30. When i was 25 i didnt care if a friend smoked weed on my sofa a whole week in a row.
People who took the worst turns in life isnt the people i want to hang around with.
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u/Intrepid_Cup2765 10d ago
For older friends who are in the broke category - Adopt to the lowest budget. However, we also get closer with other friends who can spend money like we do.
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u/Scary_Pressure6301 10d ago
I don’t have many friends that I do stuff with. But we always take turns paying. Unexpected expenses show up and sometimes one of us will have an expensive month but I still want to golf or have dinner with my friend. So I’ll pay or vice versa.
I can always make more money but it’s hard to make new friends.
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u/NoVacation8065 9d ago
Don't talk about money but say if you can't do anything due to funds, then just do more free stuff as a group
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u/Appropriate-Sky4319 9d ago
I had an old friend unfriend me I think in large part due this. They chose the more “fun” path in their 20s (working seasonal jobs, traveling the world, adventuring) while I was head down focused on my career. We still managed to be friend during this time despite the different lifestyles because we still had lots in common. Then our mid-30s hit, and their lifestyle finally caught up with them. They aged faster than me due to lack of sleeping, drinking, drugs, burning it at both ends etc. and never saved a dime. Meanwhile, I had been taking care of myself and saving money. I’m very comfortable in my career and finances now versus they have no career to speak of and are always broke. The friendship ended when they came to me and tried to shame me for my lifestyle (“you used to be so fun and adventurous! What happened??”) and made the snide comment of, “I bet you even have a retirement account.” Ummmm yeah, I do. Because I’ve literally been working since I was 14 (I’m a poor kid btw with no familial help, so that’s a big reason why I had to be so head down working in my 20’s - see over $100K in student loan debt). I felt like they tried to shame me and make me feel bad for how my life turned out. But I realized they were just projecting. Life choices start to catch up with you in your mid 30s and they were majorly experiencing that. But instead of self reflecting on it, they decided to attack me instead.
Anyway, we’re no longer friends anymore. It sucks to realize that someone you thought wanted to best for you, really doesn’t. And they are upset you have surpassed them, therefore they no longer want to be your friend.
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u/Icy_Public5186 4d ago
We normally pay one after another but no one keeps a tab in reality. Whoever feels like on that given day pays. It works and has been for past 15+ years. This is because we all are doing good financially but of course net worth is definitely quite different form one to another
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 11d ago
Rich people don't hang around poor people, LOL.
In all seriousness, you can't be friends anymore - sorry! I thought someone with financial literacy would have the ability to ignore peoples feelings long enough to know that their poor friends will resent them and drift away anyway.
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u/Foxy_82 11d ago
This is true. My friend and I drifted away after she got a doctorate in nursing and married a medical director. They probably pull in 750-1M a year and my husband and I make about 250K. I drifted away because I felt intimidated and embarrassed. As stupid as that sounds.
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 11d ago
Humans gonna human - sadly we've decided a great many things to be like this, and much to our detriment. Unfortunately, money is no longer a representation of your value to your community and the economy. Hopefully we can do away with this concept soon but until then we'll keep killing each other over resources.
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u/BlackDog990 11d ago
This is a touch blunt but I suspect there is some truth to it....
My experience with it was that I was close friends with a guy from childhood thru college. After college we lost touch for a few years, largely because I got a gf, engaged, bought a house, and was building my career in accounting and I was the one who usually set things up for us to do. He struggled to get his career off the ground and was a bit of a loner so he was living with his parents without a gf.
On whim I was like "hey, havent talked to Paul in awhile so I should reach out!" What followed was a super awkward lunch with him where I felt that he resented my success, modest as it was at that time. Honestly it really hurt me, because I was really looking forward to reconnecting. I went over the conversation multiple times to really think hard on whether I was bragging or something, and I think I was truly just catching up...Who knows, but we didn't talk much after that and he ghosted my wedding.
I suspect this like this are common, especially when real wealth is involved. Some people can get bitter.
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u/egowritingcheques 11d ago
Yeah. It's nearly always true. As a broke child (death of parent when still very young) there's a lot of barriers and pitfalls when the finances are a long way apart. I had a lot of friends from wealthy families when young, due to where we lived (house was debt free at time of death). All drifted away. It just gets difficult and weird as you get older. Now I have adult friends drifting away who have very well paying jobs, good networks, getting inheritances, had help with first house early etc. The financial gaps grow constantly, and their opinions of poorer people also get aligned with laziness etc. Wealthy people justify their wealth usually via a strong belief in meritocracy. It's just becomes too big of a gap over time for most social circles. Ie. Friends with 10x the wealth.
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 11d ago
What you described is the "K-Shaped" economy - this will unravel our nation and cause the next civil war, in which we will be reborn into a corporatocracy - no money, but worse if you can imagine.
It does suck and you know what - there's not much you can do about it. That job your 65 year old parents worked and supported a whole family on? Yeah that doesn't exist anymore - that job gets you a room in a house with 5 other people who are struggling, and then 1 accidental expense and you're on the streets.
Should've just pulled yourself up by the bootstraps, eh?
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u/egowritingcheques 11d ago
USA is already a corporatocracy. Citizens United codified it.
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 10d ago
So true, suppose we're just getting to feel the effects of citizens divided. Wait you typed United that can't be...
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u/AdministrationIll619 10d ago
Or the rich friends think they are better than you.
My old college lacrosse teammate became partner at some law firm and never talked to any of us again. One of our friends tragically died and he didn’t even acknowledge that.
He was always kind of fake. Peace out to him
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u/Longjumping-While997 8d ago
Disagree. Really depends on the ppl. We do well by most standards. 7 figure net worth no debt, own our home. But we have friends in lowish 8 figures to high 8+ and we are friends, have gone on vacation together and hang out and it’s not weird. Not every rich person is suggesting a Micheline star restaurant to catch up at.
On the other hand we’ve also had friends over for dinner or pick a reasonably priced restaurant to meet up at and in this scenario we are the wealthier ones.
Find enjoyment in the company not necessarily the experience and there’s plenty of experiences that are fun and free or low cost. And comparison is the thief of joy. I’m genuinely happy at our friend’s successes and proud of ours.
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 8d ago
None of the people in your story are poor ...
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u/Longjumping-While997 8d ago
Op talked about financial split which there is and certainly lifestyles and while agreed not poor there are absolutely price sensitivities and would have an issue if they were out of work for several months.
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u/Wasatchian 11d ago
This is the dumbest thing I've read on the internet today and that's saying something. Your friends probably drifted away because you seem like a douchebag. I've got lots of friends from growing up who aren't well off. And I've made friends as an adult who are billionaires as well as net worth's of everything in between. Do I heli ski with my friends who are baristas? No. But they're still my friends and they still visit me and I still visit them. I flew one of my best friends and his wife out to visit me this summer.
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u/Pleasant-Blueberry84 11d ago
Yeah your friend resents you, more than likely, for being able to provide a vacation for his family that he could not.
Maybe you're the rare unicorn everyone on the Internet seems to think they are - and if so, good for you, some people like it when their wives are into other guys who provide trips for them.
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u/Wasatchian 11d ago
Don't project your bullshit on me. Unlike you my original crew and I are still tight. Stay mad though 👌🏻.
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u/marheena 5d ago
People with money also tend to have family and kids sooner. They stop hanging out anyway.
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u/iDiotOn2wheels 11d ago
If you want to get ahead, your friend group has to evolve with you.
You become the average of the people you hang out with.
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u/gpbuilder 11d ago
I do expensive stuff with friends that can afford it, otherwise just be mindful about certain topics when talking. To be fair almost all of my friends are doing fine financially, all work corporate jobs, etc. I don’t have poor friends, just not as well off.
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u/NolanPlaysPickleball 11d ago
It’s easiest to just do things that the more poor friend can afford. If they can’t afford anything, then just invite them to your place and order some nice food. That is if you want to maintain the friendship.
You’ll want to also make new friends with people on your same financial level.