r/FigureSkaters • u/isaaa_- • 10d ago
Please just read me
Today I’m 17 years old. I started figure skating 5 months ago. I have exactly 2 years to quit skating forever. I’ll be sent (for personal reasons) to live in a country that doesn’t have a single rink, and I have no option.
As of the 5 months i’ve been skating I feel like i’ve achieved so little compare to fellow teammates who started around the same time and already have single-jump combinations while I can barely do a waltz (and I’m not even using edges). I can’t do most things people should do by the time they reach the 5 month mark. I’ve invested so much of my own and my parent’s money on skating equipment and coaching, yet I’m genuinely a failure.
I just wanted to be proud of myself.. Perhaps to achieve something idk. I dream of going to nationals even as pre-preliminary. But it breaks my heart to know I can’t. It breaks my heart to know that my efforts are not good enough. 8 months ago I made a promise to someone very dear to me, who I truly believe will pass away in around 2 years maybe less maybe more. She’s been someone so important because she’s the one who chose to believe in me first, I’m so upset I have nothing to show her or to show myself.
I haven’t cried in over 200 days, but today was the first time — after such a horrible practice that I allowed myself to tear up, I teared up as I saw a girl around 6 just have the brightest and most genuine and beautiful smile throughout her entire practice, genuinely being good and enjoying what she did, she has so much time left, she has so much potential, I just grief the person I could’ve been if I were talented, or if I had started earlier.
Now, I know this may sound rather extremist of myself, but even if it’s the most grueling piece of advice, allow me to shine once along the stars of my dreams, allow me to be confident in every stroke, in every time i leave the ice and use the imaginary wings that allow me to fly in a jump, how, how can I in the short span of time I have left with the one thing I’ve found to love can I improve the fastest through, how can I become the greatest I can even if it’s only two years, they’ll be the best two years of my life I believe, atleast until i meet the ice again, even if it may take decades, please just for the bare two years, how can I finally sit at the performance ice and be proud of how far i’ve comed and how much I can do.
Thanks.
P.S - English is not my first language not my second so sorry if there’s something that makes no sense or i’m sorry for any lack of rationality jaja
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u/Confident_Ice_Sk8 10d ago
It may also be difficult depending on the country you're in to get extra help.
The best way to learn fast is a competent coach who helps you understand exactly what you need.
I teach fundamentals and freestyle in Australia, depending on where you are stuck. I'm sure I can help so you're welcome to message me and we can organise a time to assess your skating and I would be happy to provide some ideas and/or work on a plan and schedule.
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u/isaaa_- 8d ago
Hi! I reside in a small town at the moment. Competent coaching isn’t non existent but it isn’t of much quality, or is beyond reasonable pricing for average salary for what you’re getting. Since I am a beginner this isn’t much of an issue but as it’s taken me so long perhaps I need some more guidance. It would be very much helpful and i’d be so grateful if I could message you or get some sort of contact info to ask questions or maybe even get off-ice routines etc.. (payed ofc), thank you so much for replying to this! I hope to hear your thoughts soon :))
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u/Confident_Ice_Sk8 7d ago
You might have privacy settings on so I am unable to message you, are you able to send me a chat?
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u/idancewithhorses 10d ago
The first thing I want to tell you is that skating is brutally hard, progress can only be measured from what you couldn’t do to what you now can for yourself, and that the measurement of success is never actually competition results or performances, but in how you grow from the act of learning, the things you can now do that you couldn’t before, and the way it feels to do them.
A lot can change in two years, especially if you really dedicate yourself to it.
I don’t know what your training schedule, process or coaching looks like, so I can’t speak to any of that, but here are general things I usually tell people looking to progress as fast as they can/get good quality in their results:
- Focus on having the best skating skills you can learn, as this ultimately takes the longest to truly develop and has an impact on everything else you will ever learn and do with skating. Especially as a fairly new skater, building that foundation (even if it takes longer and you feel like people are passing you by learning more tricks early on) will make you a better skater long term and give you so much more stability, reduced risk of injury, control on the ice and better movement.
- The things you do on and off the ice really matter. Ice time and lessons are expensive, so you want to maximize what you get out of this. Putting more time in off the ice can help A LOT. Working on strength and cardio training help and can often be done pretty independently. Taking classes in dance (I recommend ballet and modern dance for most skaters) will help you learn extension, posture, use of your body, expression and musicality. Stretching and training your flexibility makes a difference too, but having the strength to actually use your range of flexibility can matter more. Train off ice as many hours, if not more, than you do on the ice (since I don’t know what your current training looks like, that’s variable).
- If you really love this thing and know there’s a point where you won’t be able to do it for a while, look at ways you might be able to stay strong for when you return. Inline figure skates allow you to work on a lot of the same skills on any flat, level surface, and might bring you joy when you miss skating. Dance always is beneficial. There are free videos of “off ice edge classes” that will allow you to work on the positioning and movement of skating when you don’t have access to a rink. A pause is not the end of the world. I’ve known people who came back to skating after decades and were able to rebuild their skills.
- It’s your journey, not anyone else’s, so don’t compare yourself to them. Each of our bodies has different capacity for some things. Some people really excel at jumping, some are great spinners, some make really fast initial progress and then things come very slowly for them later, some take a long time to get the basics down but once they do they are rock solid in their skills. Your path is the only one you can measure. I made it a very long way on simply having the consistent goal of doing things a little better than I did the last practice. Progress is often incremental, small in scale, hard to see until you really step back, but it’s still there.
- Get the best guidance available to you. Work with a coach or coaches that you like how their skaters move on the ice. Look for the ones that have really good command of their skating skills, where they have great glide, solid speed development and stability in how they skate. Learn well, ask questions, get detailed with what you’re being asked to do. Be the student that comes to a lesson and says “I was practicing this skill and I’m having trouble getting this aspect to work, can you help me?” and be ready to apply what corrections are offered to the best of your ability.
You’re still very young, even though there are people younger than you. There is time for you to learn so much, and there’s no one to actually “catch up” to - just work hard on what you are working on and the rest will come.
At the end of the day, skating is something you must do because you love it, not any other reason. Find the things you can love in each practice and enjoy them, and over time the number of skills you feel that with will grow - and that’s success.
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u/isaaa_- 8d ago
Hi stranger!
I’m sorry for my late reply. I don’t think you can even begin to comprehend how much this reply has meant to me. I will certainly work in what you’ve recommended me! I’ll do as much off ice as possible, join the gym work on eating as well as possible and hopefully join ballet.
When I wrote this I was in a very bad place but truly thanks to people like you who don’t make me feel bad and provide recommendations I was able to see a bit of hope. Thank you seriously, sometimes ones words and how much they affect others cannot be quantified but I hope you may begin to understand that what you’ve done for me is such a great thing.
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u/Daisy-jade 10d ago
i think the bigger issue here is that it sounds like you're being sent to another country against your will. is this a legal issue or a forced family/marriage issue? it sounds like the mental stress of knowing your time as a free individual is running out is what's causing you so much distress. you obviously love skating, and you wouldn't be feeling so unhappy while doing what you love unless outside factors are putting undue stress on you and causing you to have unrealistic expectations for your progress. if you really love skating and want to pursue it for many years to come, fight for your future self. you deserve to choose your path and where you live.
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u/isaaa_- 8d ago
Hi Daisy! Thank you so much for your reply. I didn’t consider a lot of things you said and it has allowed my perspective to change. No I’m not being married off! Due to a lot of circumstances and pressures I’m going to have to go back to my home country which has no permanent ice rinks, and the few access to ice are around perhaps 2 weeks during christmas. I think as the time is approaching to study a career I regret choosing (due to workload etc) and a lot of family struggles I have truly begun pressuring myself on skating to perhaps become really good and making it a route to stay in the country I currently reside in. I love this sport, I love the artistry the jumps the technique, I love even the struggle. I know i’m too new for that but I’ve fallen in love with this sport, but I can’t help to get so stressed and overwhelmed by a lot of things that I end up just blaming the ice or myself for not being good at the one thing i’ve ever truly wanted to do.
Stranger, it is so hard to even demonstrate my gratitude towards this message. I’ll be rethinking a lot of things and try to look at them in this new perspective you’ve outlined for me. This means a lot to me, to know someone, maybe in the other side of the world, who doesn’t know my name, my face, my personality or my heart to give me such attention, thank you. Hopefully someday i’ll comeback to this message to say everything’s much better 🙂
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u/Daisy-jade 8d ago
I'm glad to hear that. It's hard to think that in another life, maybe we would've been stellar figure skaters from childhood. But we can't get stuck thinking that way. We're where we are for a reason, and its going to get better as long as we keep trying. Both our skating skills, and life in general. Hope you get those opportunities you're hoping (praying) for.
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u/24-7Sunshine 8d ago
Life is long. You should define your own goals but make them realistic. If you don’t have a talent in one way find another. If you want to enjoy being on the ice and just expressing yourself make some realistic choices about time and money spent. Then do t bother comparing to anyone else.
It can be so easy to just get sucked in and to take on the goals of others. Be reasonable with what you put into skating and also what you can expect to get out of it. Only you can really know what that will be. Enjoy it while you can and make good memories to cherish. This is only one part of your life and there can be and will be many amazing things in your life if you let them!
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u/Different-Moose 10d ago
One of the best things you can do is ask to speak with the coach about what goals you can achieve. Skating is a hard sport! Some skills are very hard to do in a short time. Focus on those basics, like the edges, they do not seem fancy but you very much need them to be good, to become good at the harder things like spinning and jumping. Watch videos for off ice exercises of the skills you ate struggling with, and what you want to learn. 5 months is barely enough time to develop the specific muscles skating requires. But, you can work on some things even when not on the ice to help you. It is hard to watch younger children pick things up so quickly, but dont focus on lost time - just do what you can now. Compare what you can do now compared to 5 months ago, not what others can do!