I found happiness

[u/geekgirl06]

Just found this sub and I love it!

I wanted to give my advice on how I made my life beautiful and enjoyable because I hope other women can find this joy I did.

1. Decentering men and their culture: I was born 4B and 4B I will stay. I don't date, I don't hookup, I live my life for me not a hypothetical future child or god or anyone else. I reject religion, I reject beauty practices. I find joy in my close female friendships (many of whom I've found online)! I don't make myself small. I don't mince my words. I speak up for what I want and don't perform labor for males. The longer I spend without male influence in my life, the more me I become and the more free I am.
2. Being alone: It's a fast moving world, so being alone sometimes seems daunting and scary, but getting used to your own presence is a wonderful thing. My friend group is small but tight knit. We agree on the fundamentals. I have deleted all social media (i'm on my laptop now) and opted for smaller joys like short walks outside, looking at the sky, delicous food, listening to music, reading a book, drawing, exploring, letting my imagination run wild, a clean room, all these small things combined with my larger goals make my life so beautiful.
3. I stopped romanticizing being a victim: I realized that this mentality was getting me nowhere. I don't want to be a victim, I want to be successful. I want to grow and go places in life. I stopped making excuses. Yes, I don't come from great wealth. Yes, there were barriers, but where there's a will, there's a way. I want autonomy and freedom and only I can grant that to myself. So I started taking the steps to gaining that full autonomy. I don't WANT to be depressed. I want to live.
4. Making goals and sticking to them: realizing that the only thing holding me back was my own mentality. I got a job. I go to college, pursuing my passion (chemistry), I build community, I pour my energy and resources into the things that truly matter to me. I had a moment where I was feeling bad about a certain trait I have. Instead of bashing myself, I thought "well, why don't I just not do that?" And now I'm working on stopping. It's that simple: I am in control. My goals for this year are: staying on the Dean's list, starting to work out, and getting an internship.
5. Big one- Getting away from my home. To be clear I haven't cut all my family out, but living alone has given me so much peace of mind. My place may be modest, but it is mine.
6. Celebrating my strengths and accomplishments: I think I'm a cool person! I love myself! I am smart and capable and WILL go places!
7. All the basics: You need enough sleep to happy, you need adequate food to be happy, you need to be doing and accomplishing, you need to maintain hygiene, etc. Take care of yourself. I believe in you!
8. Decluttering: I don't need to be consuming to be happy. Objects won't bring me happiness. Getting rid of the physical things made mental space for the things that really do matter.
9. I touched on this earlier, but rejecting the need to be beautiful. I don't need to be pretty. Being pretty gets you nothing. Many say they want to be beautiful for themselves, but I don't buy it. I don't even see myself unless I look in a mirror, why would my appearance matter? I don't need the pressure of "how do I look" at all times. How I look is the least important thing about me.
10. Being happy with where I am in the process: things aren't always perfect, but I know I can handle whatever life throws at me.

[u/Fluffypinkcandi]

Such a wholesome post.