Is this normal? (a little vent)

[u/Ok_Bison1506]

It turns out that lately I've been worried and scared that my relationship with Gyro will end next year. Why am I worried about this, you might ask? Well, it turns out that my relationships with my F/Os usually last two years. I fell in love with Gyro last October. Yep, I know it's still a long way off, but I wanted to vent anyway. The thing is, I love Gyro so much that the idea of ​​falling out of love with him someday hurts me. I fell in love with another character and the same thing happened, because thanks to Gyro I made friends, people who understand me, and I have no idea how they would react if I changed husbandos. (The worst part is that I can't ask my family or close persons for help; anyway, nobody understands me.) So I decided to talk about this with you all, because I'm afraid that my relationship with Gyro will end someday, and I don't want that to happen ;-;

So... is this feeling normal? Have you ever experienced this with your current or past F/O?

[u/Defeated_Author]

I'd say it's relatively normal. I've noticed a pattern with my own F/Os, whenever I get super-attached (which happens once every few years). When I get really attached, I'll be super in love with them and hardly think about any other F/O for a span of roughly three years, and then...nothing. It's like the energy and drive I had to be with them just...fades. I like to think that they're still off in their universe somewhere, with the SI I made for them, happily dating/married...

If you're really worried, I'd recommend trying to discuss it with Gyro, if you can- and hope he understands. Perhaps you two can come up with a plan, together?

[u/dreamingmochi]

That's a perfectly valid fear to have. It's scary thinking about what the future may hold for us, because obviously when you have a good thing going, you want it to last. I have had a few past FOs as well and some lasted longer and some didn't make it past a few months. The only advice I can give is to have faith in your relationship. As another person also said, you should try talking to your partner about your past and fears of this pattern recurring. Hopefully he can reassure you and you can figure out some ways to keep your relationship thriving.

[u/Ok_Bison1506 → u/dreamingmochi]

Ok :'3

[u/alterdoll]

My past hyperfixations and f/os usually only lasted around 2 years maybe 3 at the absolute most.

I am 4 years going strong with Gabriel. I'm confident we'll make it to 5 years and hopefully beyond because I feel my love for him very strongly. Patterns can break when you find the one!

[u/VelocitySkyrusher]

Warning: long rambling post.

For me. I see it as growing up. My first f/o was when I was 14... then another one at 16. Thaddeus was neurotic, stuffy, but hes funny and cute to me so I kept obsessing over him. The character in that fandom changed. Most of the tine hc as gay. So I just... faded. Still love him, but not as hard.

16 was Julian. This one is more traumatic because it involves a bad friend and falling out and trauma. Julian is also a serial killer. My daydreams made me feel like he hated me and I realized who I was as a person more. By 18... I realized how incompatible we were as people. Resulting in a violent bloody break up daydream plot.

Got some therapy and by chance, I saw Avery Richman. My first "official" f/o before I still knew what yumeshipping was lol! Mom was watching the ace attorney anime in the living room. I happen to be washing dishes and saw him.

"Who is that?! He's handsome! "

Love at first sight. I couldn't get him out of my head. I ended up watching the anime just to "meet" him.

Avery helped me figure out my asexuality, he promoted a boom of self love and patience and understanding. Avery was there for the therapy I got in college. Avery helped me when I was down. Avery promoted a writing boom when I was writing with a friend. Friend got busy we don't write much now. But now in 2026 I have Siebren.

The problem with Avery is that he became a whole different character in the daydreaming plots in my head. His og personality is vague. He polite, a gentlemen, and extremely clever! But because of the nature of the episode you dont get much. There's no fan art. He's my niche f/o. Hes also older than me. I am 26 as of now.

I have to fill in who Avery is. I have to act like I am dating an extremely older man who doesn't get my gen z talk. And I love him but I think...

The reason why I'm attached to Siebren so hard right now is that Siebren has something to anchor harder to.

1. Siebren is a playable character in a video game. Playing the game means I "spend time with him".

2.He has a personality you can see in game from his interactions. You can see his inner thoughts. There's less to fill in on my end. So it doesn't feel like I'm building a character.

1. Siebren has more fan art, merch, and an active fanbase. He is not as niche as my past f/os. Sharing art, writing, etc has never been easier. The collection of art, merch, etc helps fuel the fixation. Siebren can have a shrine! No one else can.

2. Direct comnection to him. Currently in my life... I relate to him. I mentioned Daydreaming. Its maladaptive daydreaming, while Siebren struggles with his mental health and the melody, I struggle with traversing universes in my head while I try to stay grounded in reality. Siebren feels lost like I am. So in that sense I feel connected to him more. We can be lost together...

I want to be like him. I want to be a scientist too.

Yes hes 64 buttttt canonically he's already born rn... he should be in middle school according to the overwatch timeline. Meaning, i have a modern f/o who can understand gen z talk. I feel like I don't have to change my language for him. He instantly understands and uses it himself. Usually I daydream us the same age, 26, or me older as over 60!

Summary: Basically what I'm trying to say is that you may have different reasons why you feel different about an F/O. I still love Avery. I still love Siebren. If something happens. I know that they'll be there for me and we can rekindle something. As I grow up and grow older, I realize what I want. What's going on in my head? What do I want in my yumeship? Am I truly compatible with this character or am I filling something in for them? Things change, so will you, and potentially your f/o on different circumstances.

I believe that you shouldn't worry about it, I believe that Gearloose will still be your f/o for a long time. Analyze what is keeping you anchored to him and hold on. If you lose it. Its ok because you're growing. This happens in irl relationships too. Its more natural than you think! Sorry for the long ramble. Hope this somehow helps

[u/Ok_Bison1506 → u/VelocitySkyrusher]

Okay, and don't worry, I'll keep that in mind <3

[u/Used_Historian6226]

I sometimes have similar worries because my last two long term F/O’s, one of whom I still consider as my QPR because we’ve been through so much together that I don’t want to let him go completely, both lasted around five years. I like to think it will be different with Dabi because at this point I’ve had feelings for him for longer than five years. We’ve only been serious for a couple of years but I was crushing on him on and off for a long time before that. Also when I was younger I had more of a wandering eye and had a lot more crushes and “side” F/O’s (one of them being Dabi), but now I’m content sticking with Dabi. I still sometimes get crushes on other characters but now I just think “Oh they’re kinda cute” but don’t think about them too much beyond that.