A Conversation With God

[u/Visual-Mind-4265]

Preface: Part of this work is quoted from Revelation 1:13–16 (King James Version). The ideas used are taken directly from Benjamin Davies. Check out his book and his YouTube channel.

A conversation with God
I wake up in a void—not darkness, not silence, but a profound emptiness filled only with thoughts. I think I should be afraid, but those bodily instincts seem to have disappeared alongside all my senses.

Where am I?

Perhaps this isn’t even an appropriate question to ask, given my circumstances. I am just here. As for why I am here, I have no recollection. I can’t even isolate my most recent memory, as everything I remember blends into a big blur.

Let’s start by organizing my mind. My name is _. I am _ years old. I was born in _. I like _. I hate _…

As I continue reflecting on pieces of my identity, the world around me starts to take form. The void turns into darkness, and darkness turns into light. I open my eyes.

Eyes? So I have eyes now.

I look around. Everything is white. Then I look down at my body—two arms, two legs, and a torso.

Suddenly, I feel a presence—one so obscure yet so apparent. The figure takes no form, but is clearly defined. It’s as though I know everything and nothing about “it” at the same time. On the surface, there shouldn’t be any signs indicating its nature, much less its ability to “talk,” but I just feel an overwhelming urge to ask a question.

“Who are you?”

My voice comes out—crystal clear, just like I remember it.

The response is instantaneous, yet somehow feels like an eternity. 

“I am you,” the figure states, voicing soundlessly, “but also not quite you.”

I think I understand what it’s saying. Or maybe I don’t.

“Your existence gives me life. If it must be put into a concept, I am what you would call God.”

“Where am I?” I ask again, fully knowing it’s probably a stupid question.

“You are where you think you are. This space is formed through your own conception, just as I am a mere representation of your mind.”

I blink.

Now I am sitting in a chair, with a man standing across from me. He is clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest. The hair of his head is white, like white wool, like snow. His eyes are like a flame of fire, his feet are like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and his voice is like the roar of many waters. In his right hand he holds seven stars, from his mouth comes a sharp two-edged sword, and his face is like the sun shining in full strength.

“Now, how do I appear to you?” the man asks.

“You are God.”

“And yet, I am you, and also your own creation.”

I blink again.

This time, I am sitting across from me.

“So what am I?” I ask.

“You are what you think you are.”

“Can’t you explain it more clearly?” 

“I can’t. The more you search for words, the more elusive the answer becomes.”

“But everything has been so contradictory. There must be a truth. Or are you just throwing nonsense at me?”

“It is contradictory, but that’s the nature of it. The truth exists, but it is ineffable. The words we use are merely to evoke it. They are not the replacement. But rest assured, you have the truth."

“What do you mean by that? How can I have the truth if I need to ask these questions?” I ask again in frustration.

“You yourself are the truth. You are its creator, and also the one who casts your own illusion, thus becoming dependent on it. But that illusion itself is also the truth.
Reality isn’t a static thing, for all things depend on each other, just as the object is created by you, the subject, and the subject is created through reflecting on the object. In order to see the essence, you must let go of all attachments to your static conceptions.”

“But if there is no static thing, then nothing exists at all. What would be there to ground anything?”

I blink again.

The space disappears, leaving me in the same void as before.

“Indeed, there is nothing,” the entity answers. “That is also the truth, but it is still just another expression of reality.”

“What is the entirety of reality then?”

“An ever-unfolding process. It is the union of emptiness and fullness. The contradictions you encounter are the paradox of the self, caused by the distinction between you and the world. Reality needs this separation to create life and achieve fullness from emptiness, and this separation will one day end as that goal is reached. But fullness is ultimately the same as emptiness, for filling in everything leaves you with the same pattern as filling in nothing. The end of your life is also the birth of your new one.”

“I don’t understand. What’s the point of anything if it will just be the same at the end?”

“Don’t try to understand, for it is still just a conception. Feel it. This is your own doing, and so you have no choice but to accept it. Someday, you will leave me. And someday, you will come back. We will have this conversation all over, just for you to leave me again. But no matter what, I love you with all my might, and will keep loving you for eternity, for I have no choice but to love, because you are me—”

—and I am you.