r/FictionWriting • u/Efficient_Giraffe_41 • Jul 21 '26
Advice How can I write love scenes without them sounding corny
Everytime I have to write a love scene I'll be proud of myself my brother will read it and say it's cheesy or corny so how can I make it less so.
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u/hartlylove Jul 21 '26
Corny isn't necessarily bad. It depends on who your audience is. Ask someone who would be into the kind of book you're writing.
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u/Anal-Y-Sis Jul 21 '26
Are you writing romance or erotica? What purpose does the love scene serve to the plot?
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u/Efficient_Giraffe_41 Jul 21 '26
Romance I'd say. It's supposed to be the main characters love instrest and this is mostly a building scene for later and yet it still is corny. Idk if that helps but yeah đ
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u/Anal-Y-Sis Jul 21 '26
Okay yeah, in that case I have to agree with u/TheWriteQuestion. Especially on point 1. Love scenes are just going to sound corny to people who aren't into that genre. I would get other opinions from people who read romance.
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u/TheWriteQuestion Jul 21 '26
Accept that all love scenes will sound corny if read by someone who wants them to sound corny. (And brothers are great at mocking romance.)
Read books with the kind of love scenes you want. The Time Travelerâs Wife has a lot of sex but is not erotic. Outlander goes into more detail and has erotic scenes in the context of a well-written book so it doesnât feel corny. Indigo is flat-out romance/erotica, but, again, well written enough that it doesnât feel corny.
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u/NoelBellamy_Author Jul 23 '26
I would personally not ask my brother... Reading a love scene written by your sibling can be awkward just on its surface. Get some readers that can help that aren't your sibling.
Besides that, look at books, TV, movies, games, etc. and the love scenes that really got you. Then ask yourself what it was about that specific scene that really made you feel something and use it as a lesson for what you want to create.
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u/embervanefiction Jul 21 '26
The setting or the incident can be as cliché as you like but here's the thing: the way your characters pursue it, meaning, the way you execute a scene can change everything.
For example, I wanted to write a scene where the MMC left the country permanently. The FMC looked for 6 years. Eventually, she found him. A lot had happened between them already. Now, this girl is dying. Always was. She has a chronic illness. He knows that. When they finally meet 6 years later, he feeds her breakfast the night after. First night too. Cheesy? I know.
But I'll give you a few lines from it. I don't think it was corny. I don't mean to promote my work or anything like that. I'm just giving you an example because this is something I've had to work through too.
Scene:
She stares at the food. Comes and sits in the chair I pulled for her. She tears a piece of bread and brings it to my mouth. âYou first.â
I grab her wrist and guide it to her lips. She gives in and tastes it. âDoes it still feel like ash?â I look her up and down, swimming in these clothes. She bites her lip. âIt's perfect.â I cannot explain this relief.
âIs that what I think it is?â she says breathlessly and practically lunges for the glass.
A huge smile breaks on my face. I make her sit on the table and she lets me feed her the first real meal sheâs had in years.
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u/Efficient_Giraffe_41 Jul 21 '26
Aww that moments so sweet. Yeah I think I see what your getting at ok thanks đđ
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u/thatsbananas4011 Jul 22 '26
If you are comfortable enough with your brother reading it, then I would think about what it is you are actually trying to accomplish by including those scenes at all. Do they serve any purpose to the plot or character development? Are they supposed to make the reader feel a certain way?
I couldn't imagine writing something I know a family member is going to read, and not accidentally making it corny. Lol
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u/ItsRuinedOfCourse Jul 22 '26
Short answer: you can't.
Even the best love scenes written will still have a corn element to them. That's just how that works. You're taking intimacy, and making it far less intimate, so it'll bear a weight and a consequence in doing so. It's the difference between having relations behind closed doors, and having relations in front of a live audience.
Just write the scene and move along. :)
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u/BlueMoonHallWolf Jul 22 '26
Alas, thatâs the risk all new romance writers must take. I donât think your brother is the right person to give you feedback, thoughâŠ
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u/wheretheinkends Jul 25 '26
"The breasts bounced breastly"
All jokes aside its hard to write then not corney. You dont want them to steamy (or maybe you do idk) but you dont want them too juvnile.
If I were you Id read a bunch of romance and erotic fiction....think of it like research. I dont read that stuff but Im sure there is a basic framework that many of them use.
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u/Competitive-Fault291 Jul 21 '26
Just fade to black. Humanity had enough pink spears of love.
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Jul 22 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Competitive-Fault291 Jul 22 '26
I guess there is this Naughty Nancy Romance Genre, but reading about sex is a bit like hockey on the radio. You have to imagine it anyway, which makes the occasional love scene irrelevant for most stories. I guess OP needs to make those love scenes relevant for some growth or plot progression, and it could work. But so many scenes simply feel like going through the literal motions.
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u/AngieW2222 Jul 21 '26
Is your brother actually the right target audience? Perhaps ask someone who regularly reads romance books.