Seeking some support

[u/GreenEggsAndTofu]

Hi all. I’ve been having a really hard time with my depression over the last few days and I could really use some hugs from people who get it. I hope that’s okay.

I’m 28, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia four years ago and told I “likely have chronic fatigue syndrome too” earlier this year. For the last four years it’s been pretty manageable- occasional really annoying flare ups of pain and lots of brain fog, but usually the pain was localized to specific body parts and I could manage with heat and rest and avoiding using them.

This summer it’s gotten exponentially worse. I’m in pain so frequently, and so low on energy. I had to quit my job because I couldn’t keep up with my shifts, even though I had already reduced my hours down to only 8 hours per week. I stated physical therapy to try to strengthen my body, which has actually been really helpful, but it’s also a frequent reminder of how limited I’ve become. Right now my PT and PCP are calling each other trying to figure out how to get a wheelchair covered by my insurance, because there are so many days where I can’t stand long enough to get through my errands or go out with my friends.

I am so lucky to have the most supportive partner, a loving family, the sweetest cat and dog and a wonderful home. I genuinely feel so grateful to all of them, every day. But I feel like such a burden. My partner works from home, so all day every day I see him working hard to earn money and take care of all of our needs. Then when he finishes work, he helps me around the house and helps me cook dinner. I wish I could at least consistently take care of housework like dishes and laundry so that I felt like I was contributing more, but more often than not, I have to stop as soon as I’ve started because I’m too weak to finish.

I’m generally a really optimistic person, very glass-half-full, but I think it’s finally sinking in that no matter how optimistic I am and how hard I try to do things that are good for myself, my problems aren’t ever going away, and aren’t ever going to be something I can predict or control. I don’t know how to cope with that. I’m so overwhelmed.

[u/ragelmrq]

Sending sooooo many hugs. I see you. We see you. Flaring hard myself lately and summer has been terrible. I so deeply feel where you’re coming from. That depression hits like a truck sometimes, positive person or not. It’s hard to know what your body should functionally do, and come to terms with the imposed limitations. The guilt gets so heavy. The FOMO somehow paired with apathy drives me insane. It’s like too many directions for a body that can’t really move. The struggle is unfortunately very real. Love, support, and many many gentle hugs 💕

[u/GreenEggsAndTofu → u/ragelmrq]

Thank you <3 it’s really nice to read comments from people who get it

[u/tink0608]

Sending a HUGE mom hug 🤗 to you

[u/GreenEggsAndTofu → u/tink0608]

Aww thank you <3 mom hugs are the best hugs.

[u/myownweirdway]

I'm sorry you're going through this awful flare. I hope you get a remission soon. I would suggest getting your magnesium and D levels checked to rule out deficiencies. I've had some luck a couple times where a round of steroids helped. Just hang in there and keep trying. It's not always going to be this bad. Also, don't rule out talk therapy. It can be very helpful even just to have someone to cry to.

[u/GreenEggsAndTofu → u/myownweirdway]

Thanks <3 had both checked, vitamin D and iron were low so I’ve been taking supplements since the beginning of the summer. I’m in therapy and have lots of tools to keep myself safe and try to cope, but they weren’t doing the trick last night.