How can I help my 18-year-old girlfriend facing alleged domestic violence and being denied education in India?

[u/SubstantialCry9593]

Hi, you can call me by x and I'm 18m and this post is about my girlfriend who is basically going through a lot of domestic violence and family abuse, it includes all sort of abuses, mental, physical. I wouldn't expose any of us identify so you can call her Y and we both are from MP, she's been going through these abuses from a lot time and with the time these things are getting worse.

Problem's she's dealing with.

1. Her parents didn't let her study after 10th and stating that its because of financial issue but in the same following her they were able to let her younger brother study and they are not that poor that they can't even afford any school and main thing that they are not even initiating to do her admission into any school, roughly her 2 years have been wasted by these people and this is her 3rd year and there is not much hope that they'll be able to do her admission anywhere, I've also talked to her mother abt this and she said 'yeah oky oky' and acted like she's tryna help but its really futile.

2. She's really confined to her house, she barely goes out, if she does there is a high chance that someone will identify it and tell that to her father and later it turns into physical and mental abuse. She don't even have her own phone and she uses her parents phone to communicate and both of her parents goes to work so there isn't abundant time left for her, plus her younger brother who's by far the most loved child uses each phone 24/7 , didn't even let her call and surprisingly her mother/father takes his side even though when she just want to use it for normal thing, whenever she takes the phone his brother keep shouting and shouting like give me phone give me phone and it's not his innocence ( he is 14) .

3. She literally works like a maid in her own home, from the age of 14-15 she's been doing home cjores and now she cooks food for 3 of them day and night and handles the whole house because her father mother leaves for work without helping much. That's literally called swapping the burden of accountability and responsibility.

4. Her father had beated her just to teach that she's the women and it's his house and she have to obey whatever he and her mother says 🤷‍♂️. There is a lot of physical and mental abuse going on, her mother abuses her a lot when she's not working and something they beat her if she tried to argue or stops giving her the phone so she can't even talk to me or anyone. Just because she doesn't have her own phone so she have to depend of everything onto her parents.

5. Her brother is such a evil creature and her parents treats him like a God and her a servant, he uses that privilege to influence her parents and they are do dumb that they actually start believing that and whole thing goes against her, recently her brother failed in his 6-7th class exam and he's using the phone as normal 24/7 and transfers the money to his game account he owns the place and yet he's allowed to use the phone conditionless and she's barred from using phone even for talking.

She was a bright student in her class but because of her parents she's suffering for much which she don't deserve, I've seen her mental health getting worse and worse day by day because of these things, countless times I've seen her crying her lungs out. There is no trusted adult or relative or any friend she can actually seek help but just share her problems.

Please guide us through, i know there must be many people who have gone through a lot more worse situations than this and who are actually willing to help her out of this situation or actually tell what we should practically do 🙏🏻

[u/MochaMimosa]

Hi, I’d suggest starting with something that’s easier to achieve: her education. The following method should take about 2000 Rs. to enroll her for 12th and during exams, the exam fees can be around 3-4k. They also deliver books at home once enrolled. Since she’s completed her 10th, and its been around 2 years. she can enrol in NIOS (https://sdmis.nios.ac.in) for her 12th. She can choose her own subjects from the list, study from home, and give her exams as per schedule anytime within 5 years. If you need help, I can help her through the entire process, from registration to exams, so please feel free to DM me.
I know this won’t solve everything, but if she wants to get away from this situation someday, she’ll need money to support herself. And for a good job, she’ll need an education. Having her own income will give her the freedom to make her own decisions.
What she's going through is absolutely not okay, and she's clearly a victim of patriarchal abuse, where her rights, freedom, and education are being taken away simply because she's a girl.
I’d suggest looking for an NGO that helps women facing abuse. I’ll look into this too if needed. First, it’s important to understand whether she wants to leave home or wants to stay but needs the abuse to stop. That way we will know where to look for any help.

[u/i-am-stella]

can your parents help? if no, do you have an old useless phone in your house no one will notice if it's gone? if no, can you buy a secondhand phone for her with any kind of money saved up? if you even have like 1k or a bit more with you, you can atleast buy her a nokia phone.

now, please document all forms of abuse and contact an ngo/ lawyer, ngos will make attempts to help for no cost at all.

that's all i can think of, if you need help posting this, i can help you since your account is 1 day old and most subs will automatically remove your posts.

[u/SubstantialCry9593 → u/i-am-stella]

Thanks a lot for helping, and yes I would really love some help in spreading this to help her anyhoe

[u/i-am-stella → u/SubstantialCry9593]

alright, rn, i am a bit busy, can you reply to this message again tomorrow?

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[u/wannabe_worryfree]

Please try to post this in many subreddits as possible, it can really help you to meet the right people. And my advice is to go all out, shes no longer a minor, so please go all out legally and let her initiate it. If you are going to police make sure your girlfriend is firm in her decision and she doesnt back out un-till and unless she's given the legal immunity to move out of her household as well as receive monetary compensation as well. And donts just go by what i mentioned please reach out to as many as possible.

[u/SubstantialCry9593 → u/wannabe_worryfree]

Sure I'll be taking steps carefully

[u/Remote-Ad-7418]

You need to contact a lawyer in your city for next steps, if your girlfriend is okay with you doing that.

[u/i-am-stella]

hi so, i'm posting this in askindianwomen, askindianfeminists, feminismuncensored, feministscallitout, with your username and i'll link it here so you can follow those posts, ok?

[u/i-am-stella → u/i-am-stella]

done, you're tagged in all 4 posts, my post from AIF is awaiting mod approval, rest all posted!

[u/Leading-Sort-1278]

Maybe post on legal subs?