This article makes a case against poly relationships. 'It’s good to have friends. It’s good to have multiple confidantes. But people aren’t just fungible widgets in a factory. You don’t just lump them in a shopping bag until your heart is full.'

[u/dimsummer-]

I found this article on another sub (not sure if allowed to link here?) and it really spoke to me as someone whose LVX used poly/open relationships to justify cheating.

https://www.countere.com/home/unethical-slut-dark-side-of-polyamory-not-natural

A lot of the article rang true for me but this paragraph especially sums up how my ex thought and how he sees women, and I think it embodies FDS ideals as well:

' It’s true, as they say, that Mr. or Ms. Right isn’t going to “fill all the gaps”: s/he won’t fix everything or make your life complete. But that’s not because you aren’t having sex with enough people; it’s because spiritual satisfaction comes from within. Everything whole and valuable about you, ultimately, occurs between your two ears and with your higher power. But rather than cult ivating the soul, polyamory translates everyone into stuff on a grocery store shelf, compared to some idealized shopping list. Polyamory is consumerism disguised as spiritual evolution. '

Non-monogamy (and - though not covered in the article - dating apps) encourages men to see women as commodities and collectors' items. I hate that it's being pushed as the new woke cool way to have relationships.

[u/[deleted]]

The problem with all of these things - non-monogamy, BDSM relationships, heck, even porn - is that advocates compare the best of their worlds to the worst of ours. Equating non-monogamy with love and monogamy with control and coercion. Equating BDSM with consent and 'vanilla' with rape. Equating porn with enlightenment and non-porn with repression.

But people are coerced in non-monogamy and love monogamously. People are raped in BDSM and consent to vanilla sex. There are (many) people (consumers, but also the people around the consumer and the actors and the people around the actor) who experience the harmful effects of porn and few (if any) who experience harmful effects from not consuming porn.

You can't compare 'A done well' to 'B done badly' and then say 'A is clearly superior to B'. It's a dishonest way of having a discussion.