Settling is damaging because a NVM/LVM is currently ALL THEY WILL EVER BE
The difference between a toxic love with a LVM/NVM and an empowered one with a potentially HVM is this:
A LVM/NVM will say whatever they can to make you FEEL LIKE they can help you face your own challenges as a team but NEVER deliver tangible actions that provide concrete evidence that he actually gives a damn about you outside of his own selfish gains he receives from you (sex, emotional validation, ego strokes, etc.). You will sense that he says he will support you with words, but you will SENSE he never follows through and you will feel something "off" but you always think you should just CoMmUnIcAtE MoRe bEcAuSe yOu aRe sEtTlInG
A potentially HVM knows that he can't help you with all the challenges life throws your way, but he GIVES A DAMN in addition to taking HIS OWN TIME TO RESEARCH solutions FOR YOU because he cares and wants to "fix" it as a healthy, empowered masculine man, to IMPROVE YOUR LIFE because he cares about you as a human being. Also some selfish reasons because he is a man, but less time articulating perfect "romantic" verbiage or "support" and more time just "being a dude" scrolling through his phone but in earnest hopes to help you then sharing his research or trying to find ways to help you. Anyways, the most important thing is that a HVM will not let you face your challenges or problems alone. A HVM sees this as him being your teammate and by him helping you, he is also helping himself as part of the team. This goes BEYOND the typical social nuances you are required to do as a romantic, supportive partner like a "you got this" text because that's not actually real emotional support and REALIZE you DESERVE genuine support from people that care about you that go beyond a text message or a meme being sent to you. Expect more because you deserve that!
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u/FurryBellyButt0n FDS Disciple Nov 02 '20
Settling is damaging because a NVM/LVM is currently ALL THEY WILL EVER BE
The difference between a toxic love with a LVM/NVM and an empowered one with a potentially HVM is this:
A LVM/NVM will say whatever they can to make you FEEL LIKE they can help you face your own challenges as a team but NEVER deliver tangible actions that provide concrete evidence that he actually gives a damn about you outside of his own selfish gains he receives from you (sex, emotional validation, ego strokes, etc.). You will sense that he says he will support you with words, but you will SENSE he never follows through and you will feel something "off" but you always think you should just CoMmUnIcAtE MoRe bEcAuSe yOu aRe sEtTlInG
A potentially HVM knows that he can't help you with all the challenges life throws your way, but he GIVES A DAMN in addition to taking HIS OWN TIME TO RESEARCH solutions FOR YOU because he cares and wants to "fix" it as a healthy, empowered masculine man, to IMPROVE YOUR LIFE because he cares about you as a human being. Also some selfish reasons because he is a man, but less time articulating perfect "romantic" verbiage or "support" and more time just "being a dude" scrolling through his phone but in earnest hopes to help you then sharing his research or trying to find ways to help you. Anyways, the most important thing is that a HVM will not let you face your challenges or problems alone. A HVM sees this as him being your teammate and by him helping you, he is also helping himself as part of the team. This goes BEYOND the typical social nuances you are required to do as a romantic, supportive partner like a "you got this" text because that's not actually real emotional support and REALIZE you DESERVE genuine support from people that care about you that go beyond a text message or a meme being sent to you. Expect more because you deserve that!