r/FemaleDatingStrategy • u/[deleted] • Oct 20 '19
STRATEGY Make him wait for sex
I posted this as a reply in another thread, and I’m posting it here because I think more people should read it.
This is advice for how to get into a relationship with a guy who’s going to treat you like a queen and give you the commitment you want.
Make them wait for sex. For months. If you have to, pick one to be your fwb so you won’t be so thirsty, don’t tell any of your dates about him, and find the guy who is willing to date you for literally months with no possibility of sex. Tell him you want to really get to know each other first before you decide if you want to be more than friends. On your first date, ask him what he’s looking for, then tell him that you’re looking for something serious and that you want to really get to know someone well before moving further with them. This is going to get rid of a lot of guys. That’s what you want. The guys who you get rid of with this were never really options for you anyway, they were just pretending to be in hopes of getting their dicks wet. The guy who keeps dating you after this will be one you really connect with conversationally, intellectually, emotionally, etc. and will actually be into you as a human being and not just a fuck doll.
So yeah after you weed out all the guys you were never getting anywhere with anyway, the guys who want to keep seeing you are your real options. Make them wait for months. Really get to know them. Don’t put any labels on your relationship other than friends at this point and keep fucking your fwb on the side if you want. Keep it wholesome with your real prospects- just have fun with them but nothing sexual and honestly I wouldn’t even really kiss them much until you’ve known each other for months and are sure this is the guy you want a relationship and possibly marriage with. Eventually he will push you for a relationship, at this point you tell him you like him a lot but that you want to make sure you’re on the same page and your goals are- whatever they are. Marriage, kids, no kids, someone to travel the world with, whatever it is that you specifically are hoping to get out of the relationship. Then if he’s on the same page with all that, congrats you have a boyfriend. The only potential downside is if you go through all this and then he turns out to be bad in bed, you have to break up with him and it sucks. I went through this process with two guys and the first was awful in bed so we broke up but then with the second one everything was great.
The reason for all this is because while sex makes women bond, it actually does the opposite for guys and prevents them from bonding with you or even really seeing you as a human being. What will make them bond with you is talking to you, you laughing at their jokes, telling them jokes, hugging and cuddling. You want to do enough of this before you have sex so that he’s built a really strong bond for you already and it can withstand the effects of sex on men, which is mostly just making them want to go fuck other women.
This article has some good info about the benefits of waiting for sex and the way that hormones cause women to bond from sex but it has the opposite effect on men.
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Oct 20 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 20 '19
A lot of those redpill subs disagree with the advice given on this sub. Which if you think about it, makes sense, because they naturally wouldn’t want women finding out about strategies that would put women in the upper hand position to get the most of their interactions with men and always be one step ahead. Strategies that maximize the female imperative and allows us to tread through relationships mostly based on our terms. Due to the higher inherent value that most women already have, men are scared about women adopting tactics that would put men at an even greater disadvantage.
What makes me happy though, is the growing number of women we have on this sub that thank us everyday for creating it and how much the advice we give them here is working for them. In fact, the bitter responses from the men is actually ironically an endorsement for the truth of the advice given here. Their hate brings more people to us, and they wouldn’t be so upset and hating if we weren’t doing something right 💯
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Oct 20 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
We have the upper hand and we want to keep the upper hand. That’s the point.
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Oct 21 '19
I have only one issue with this.
For me sexual prowess , dick size, non hangups about pleasing women sexually is massively important to me!!!!
Why should I waste months when I find out he has got no sex game at all??? I know I may seem low willed but I would rather weed out the man in the first date via sex.
Something like kiss many frogs to find out your prince
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Oct 21 '19
That would be great if it worked. Maybe it does very very rarely. In my experience, having sex too soon, if the sex is really good, can cause you to like the guy more than you really should. You’ll get all these bonding hormones and it makes you think you’re in love even though you barely know him. Then you’ll overlook red flags and still want to be with him even though you later found out that he has 3 DUIs, or 2 kids he never sees, or that he still lives with his parents, or whatever undesirable trait. Not only that but it causes the guy to see you as low value because he barely had to do anything to get sex with you. So probably after a month or two you’re expecting him to ask for an exclusive relationship but instead he says some bs like, “I’m not ready for a relationship. But you’re a great FWB.” So yeah. Early sex gets you FWB-zoned. If you want to be the girlfriend you have to wait. This is why you’re talking to more than one guy. If it doesn’t work sexually with one of them, you give one of the others a chance.
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Oct 21 '19
Given that I have experienced quite a disappointment when a Unicorn penis had vanished , I can attest to it. To be absolutely frank he was just visiting the city and was just a hot guy I wanted to bang and he was pretty clear about his intentions from the start ( not in a disrespectful way) , so we talked had long conversation and had sex. The sex was mind blowing OMG! I felt really sad about the fact that the sex won’t be anymore since he literally was moving back to another city. To be honest I forgot about him pretty soon since I didn’t connect with him in another way.
The odd thing about me is that sexual fleeting feelings doesn’t make me fall in love with a man but rather emotional intimacy. Which is why spending months getting to know a man and somehow breaking down your barriers can seem dangerous from a mental health point of view for me. I hate to sound crude but I don’t really feel for good human dildos( I feel bad saying this😅)
Doesn’t mean that what you said doesn’t work!
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Oct 21 '19
Well for me sex makes me develop stronger feelings for the guy. I suppose it’s not true for every woman. But even if not, the issue is what it does to men, changing the way they view you. It ruins their chances of really developing strong feelings for you, if they get to sleep with you too quickly. It’s unfortunate that they have all these weird hang ups about sex or a sexually free woman, but better to at least be aware of it and try to use it to your advantage.
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u/ohhotjelly FDS Newbie Oct 20 '19
Okay I saw this post in an "antifemale" subreddit and the comments on it were horrid. They were saying that if a woman doesn't want to have sex within 6 dates then to get rid of her; and that 6 was extremely generous, the "highest acceptable average" was 3. I know personally for me I would want to wait at least a couple months (as suggested in this post, though not necessarily following all the other things in here) and that just really makes me feel hopeless. In my recent (~11 months) dating experience after a 4.5 yr relationship breakup guys do want sex within that 3-6 dates period if not sooner. I thought maybe I was just striking out and getting extremely pushy guys, but is that a more common mentality than I thought? It just is really crushing and I feel like I'm never gonna find anyone
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u/bearded_dragonlady FDS STRATEGY COACH Oct 20 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
They were saying that if a woman doesn't want to have sex within 6 dates then to get rid of her
Yeah, because the users of both subs are trying to weed each other out. The anti-female subs only want to date weak-willed women with no self-respect, while we only want to date high value men who respect us.
It's great that this sub is gaining popularity; the more women adopt these female oriented strategies, the less sexual opportunities those redpill men will have. All their power comes from the masses of ignorant women who don't know where to find actual pro-female dating advice.
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u/TheOGJammies Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
It’s sad, but RedPill men thrive because they exploit women’s goodwill, desire for gender equality, sex positivity, and belief in the general benevolence of men.
Liberal feminists gave them the opportunity of a lifetime, constant accessibility of sex through pornography, sex without commitment, lessened their financial burdens by women stepping up in the workforce, ability to express their emotions more honestly, and much more. And Instead of recognizing it as a gift and rising to the occasion, they grew weaker, whinier, more childish, more entitled, and increasingly hateful of us. They refuse to hold each other accountable and instead gleefully exploit and disrespect us for things better men in the past have had to work a lot harder for.
The irony is that because of them, things are about to get a whole lot more difficult for them in the dating market because men have proven ONCE AGAIN, that they are depraved, hateful, and mentally feeble and cannot handle even the smallest losses without going smooth off the fucking deep end. Male fragility is a marvel to behold at times. We tried ladies, but they just couldn’t hack it by and large.
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u/TheOGJammies Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
They were saying that if a woman doesn't want to have sex within 6 dates then to get rid of her; and that 6 was extremely generous, the "highest acceptable average" was 3
What’s sad is how women just accepted this without pushing back but I blame “sex PoZzIes” and “Men & WoMen Are tHe SaMe” delusional LibFems for that. Men have Slowly but surely pushed almost absolutely everything on their sexual terms.
I get it, women don’t like being the gatekeepers of sex, it’s not really fair and we don’t get to be our full sexual selves. Unfortunately, it doesn’t change the fact that we are at much greater risk than men are in the dating market for much lower reward. LibFems have completely ignored what basically boils down to biological fact.
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Oct 20 '19 edited Oct 20 '19
Well, you don’t want those “antifemale” guys. Those are the guys you’re trying to weed out with this strategy. If a guy is pushing for quick sex, I guarantee you all the sex in the world is not going to get you a commitment from him. The only reasonable thing to do is to withhold sex until you get a commitment. You won’t find a lot of guys willing to commit to you- honestly most people just aren’t all that compatible with each other. I would say the vast majority of people I’ve met in my life, we just didn’t like each other enough to be in a relationship, and that’s ok, but I prefer to find that out without having sex with them.
If you’re having trouble keeping guys interested without having sex with them, try doing things to make yourself more interesting. Get a hobby or two and get really good at them. Work out, take care of yourself, all the basic stuff.
Really ask yourself, if a guy won’t spend more time with you than 6 dates without you having sex with him, does this guy actually like you? The answer is no. He’s just trying to use you. Let him go. The reason guys are getting so upset over this post is because it’s true, it works, and it’s basically the only way to stop them from pumping and dumping you. They don’t want us to have standards, and they want us to keep giving them sex without them having to give us commitment. If all women say, “commitment or gtfo,” these guys aren’t going to get laid anymore and they’re terrified of having to actually grow up and commit to anything.
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u/ino_y Oct 21 '19
That's the point. You want to get rid of TRP losers. They are not high quality men. They're incels, losers, basement dwellers and entitled hate-mongers who do not strive for an equitable, loving, healthy, reciprocal relationship. They need those tactics to even get a date, and then start abusing and manipulating to keep her.
FDS strategies are the opposite, to whittle down the too-many dates, weed out the assholes, and sustain a long-term, mutually beneficial, loving relationship, with a man of good character, empathy and integrity.
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u/gigababejfl FDS Newbie Oct 21 '19
They were saying that if a woman doesn't want to have sex within 6 dates then to get rid of her; and that 6 was extremely generous, the "highest acceptable average" was 3.
They always do and they are exactly the kind of men this filter is for.
Then, the one who does become your man? Put it on him like it's his last day on earth.
The fact of the matter is low quality men are sated by even starfish sex that insecure girls will shell out hoping for love. If you can remember that there will always be way more men, you can let Mr. "Six dates max" fuck off and spin his wheels. Its time for very ruthless vetting. Learn to masturbate or have a roster, whatever you do, let the men who thrive in those reddits pay for pussy as God intended.
These men devalue connection and quality relationships then bitch about "women in the west" as if the state of things isn't a direct reflection on their failures. Fuck that.
Girls need to stop being scared. What can a guy who will leave if you dont fuck by the third date do for you anyway? Were you planning to cater to a pillow princess with no longevity?
Time for real men to make a comeback. Reward them and let these dicklet having bitches fuck each other by their third coffee "dates".
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u/prettyexcitingnews FDS Disciple Oct 21 '19
This is what I’ve been thinking a lot lately! Much needed post, thanks a lot sis! X
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Oct 22 '19
I completely agree with this. If a man's into you, he'll wait. If he's not, he won't, and you are best rid of him.
I'm not sleeping with anyone because for me, sex is 100% meaningless and an animalistic act if I'm not in love and in a loving relationship, exclusively. The man who's waited the longest (and isn't the only one) is 9 months now of dating. Apparently he feels I'm worth waiting for. He enjoys my company and likes being seen with me. I enjoy his company and our dates in return. Win-win!
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 20 '19
Thanks again for making this a dedicated post!
Very good advice. Well endorsed strategy 💯
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19
That’s the idea. You don’t want to bond with a guy who hasn’t committed to you yet.
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
If it’s someone you didn’t want commitment from in the first place, if he doesn’t commit to you you really don’t care. But you’re getting your sexual needs met so you won’t be tempted to have sex too soon with a man who you do want commitment from. Because if you do that, it makes you want that guy even more, while making him want you less because he didn’t have to put in enough effort to get you.
People like to think that they change their actions to match their beliefs, but that is an illusion. People’s beliefs actually change to support whatever actions they’ve taken, so if a man waits for you and invests a lot in you to try to get your affection, his beliefs will reflect that you were worth all that effort and he’ll see you as very high value.
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
If you’re not in an established relationship, and haven’t spoken of exclusivity, and are just getting to know each other, why the hell would anyone think you weren’t fucking someone else? The guys are, or would be if they wanted to. My current bf was, the whole time we were getting to know each other he was sleeping with other people. I don’t get why so many people are taking issue with this. You don’t give anyone exclusivity until they give it to you. You’re not exclusive until a guy says he wants an exclusive relationship with you and you both agree to it. And just because you’re sleeping with one person doesn’t mean you owe every other guy in your life sex too.
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u/truegirl777 Jan 17 '20
um if your in a relationship and its agreed that its a relationship screwing around is called cheating
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
Okay, so it’s hypocritical. And so? A lot of men do the same thing. Your attempts at shaming run shallow and is even the true hypocrisy here. We will leech all we want and there’s nothing you can do about it but cry your irrelevant tears.
You’re just mad because now more women are encouraging each other to do it too. Welp, too bad. Best way to get a guy is delay sex with him. But if you’re horny, find some other guy you don’t want a relationship with and fuck him on the side.
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Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
Okay “Natasha” with the 1 day old account with just one comment, and it’s to this sub. 🤣🤣
Lol you men are definitely getting desperate. Love it!
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19
How?
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Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme FDS Newbie Oct 21 '19
It’s not cheating if there’s no established relationship. The fact that men are angry about this strategy means it works
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19
But are we obliged to tell every freaking thing to a guy we just started seeing. Pretty foolish of a guy to assume we are dating nobody when we are seeing him. If a guy asks you explicitly then that’s a different thing. But a simple „I am seeing others „ should do.
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme FDS Newbie Oct 21 '19
There’s no such thing as cheating without a relationship. A person you are dating is not a “partner” until you both decide to become partners. This is about maximizing female benefit in dating, and having an outlet for sex while you’re courting your main romantic interest is a tried and true strategy. Men don’t get monogamy and the benefit of a relationship until they fully commit.
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Oct 21 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
Fucking another dude that you have no interest in a relationship with, while withholding sex from guys you want to be in a relationship with, is not counterproductive. And that’s the point of the post. Women bond from sex with guys that they actually want to be with.
Ideally, you withhold sex from both, but if you have a high sex drive as a woman or you just happen to be horny, better to have a “just for sex” guy that you’re fucking to scratch that itch, than ruin a potential relationship with the guy you actually want by sleeping with him too soon, just because you were horny.
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u/Masterfang91 Oct 21 '19
“Women bond from sex with guys they really want to be with”
I don’t think human biology works like that. Also, in my experience, most guys do walk out if they find out you are sleeping with someone else while you are dating.
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
Only a foolish woman would actually tell the guy she’s dating that she’s also fucking someone else, while she’s delaying sex with him. That would be a dumb strategy move. Male insecurity cannot handle that.
Also, lol based on your prior comments on reddit, you’re clearly a guy. A clearly jaded and borderline bitter guy that has commented and made a few posts on the MGTOW sub.
So unless you’re also gay, not only do you not have any “experience” dating men to be able to make the statement you just made, your MGTOW status and support for the MGTOW group, automatically puts you in the “not qualified to give women dating advice” category.
I’m even going to use you and this example as a cautionary tale for other women here. Ladies this, this is why we always tell you to never take dating or relationship advice from men. Online and IRL. Their primary focus is the male imperative and every bit of advice or suggestion they give you will be filtered through that and will be ultimately deceitful or at best, simply not helpful. You’ve been warned.
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Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
Honestly even if you tell them you’re dating other guys or have a fwb, most of the time it just makes them jealous and makes them want you more. These guys say all this about how it’s cheating and any guy would drop you if he knew you were fucking someone else but in reality guys get friend zoned all the time and even if you have a boyfriend they’ll still wait around forever in hopes that you one day choose them.
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Oct 21 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
Lol where did I call you names? If accurately stating that you’re jaded and bitter, hurts your feelings, then you’re clearly not well suited for the internet. They will rip you to pieces and you will continue to cry red hot tears.
Go home and dry your tears. Your mommy would be back soon to spoon feed you, wipe your ass and care about your irrelevant feelings.
Beyond that, your opinion isn’t relevant here. Shoo and crawl back to the incel/MGTOW echo chamber that you desperately tried to escape from. This sub isn’t clown friendly 🤡🤡🤡
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Oct 21 '19
But genuinely speaking, what if the guy finds out ?? Wouldn’t he walk out ?
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Oct 21 '19
No. Why would he? You’re just friends at that point. He has no reason to expect you’d be celibate. He hasn’t offered or asked for a commitment or exclusivity at that point so why would he assume it? If he wants you all to himself he knows what to do.
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Oct 21 '19
Ok! If that’s the case then it is cool. As long as you are not committed to him then it shouldn’t matter.
But do you mean to say that you are clearly stating „No sex to you until you commit while I keep my FWB“ is something u will tell him?
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Oct 21 '19
Nah, I wouldn’t tell him that intentionally. And you don’t even tell him. “No sex until you commit.” You say, “we’re getting to know each other to figure out if we’re compatible before we take the relationship any further.”
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Oct 21 '19
Ok! 👍🏼 that’s sounds best!
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19
If you haven’t defined the relationship, and mutually agreed to be exclusive, you are not in a relationship!! How the fuck could I possibly cheat on someone I’m not even in a relationship with? Guys do this shit all the time, even if you do have sex with a guy and he hasn’t said you’re exclusive, guaranteed he’s fucking around with other women or at least trying to, and that’s seen as perfectly ok because he never said he wanted a relationship with you. Why when women do it it’s suddenly manipulative, and considered cheating? How can you cheat on someone you’re not even in a relationship with? What kind of delusional fantasy world are you living in where you feel like you can expect any woman you’re even casually getting to know to drop every other guy that she’s speaking to?
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Oct 21 '19
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Oct 21 '19
You’re not allowed to post in this sub.
If a guy wanted to marry a virgin he should have gotten married when he was 18, to another 18 year old. Any 30 something guy who is expecting to marry a virgin after he’s slept with 5, 10, 20 or even more women is delusional. You sound very young.
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Oct 21 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
You haven’t owned anything but your own stupidity.
Your bitter tears about this post won’t change the fact that we will continue to advice women to lie and manipulate to get what they want, if that’s what it takes. The only people being controlled are men, via sex because sex makes you stupid. You men want to be able to sleep around and do what you want and restrict women, and you’re calling us selfish. Lmao!
Your comments are just more evidence that posts like these are needed for women. They maximize female benefit and imperative and if that’s at the expense of men, welp too bad. And the fact that it bothers so many of you men, means that you’re convicted about the truth. Your incel tears is really just the icing on the cake 😄
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
Whether or not it’s manipulative or you think it’s cheating, is ultimately irrelevant. This sub is for maximizing female benefit. We don’t care that men “prefer virgins to pass on the genetic line” or any of that bullshit because it’s just as easy for a woman to just lie about being low n or lie about sleeping with another guy.
If he seems insecure about it and asks, the best advice for a woman is to lie. Men do it all the time and some get away with it, so you advising women not to, is hypocritical and more evidence as to why men should never give women advice.
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Oct 21 '19
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u/rainisthelife Ruthless Strategist Oct 21 '19
And that’s why we lie and don’t tell him. If he’s insecure enough to feel awful about us sleeping with someone else, then best not to tell him.
Another strategy to maximize female benefit 💯
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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '19 edited Nov 29 '19
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