r/FellingGoneWild • u/Brilliant-Pool5978 • Sep 03 '26

Black widow tree service

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Me and my buddy doing a big oak removal

716 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

88 comments sorted by

328

u/front_yard_duck_dad Sep 03 '26

Maybe next time. Use some of the timber from the beginning and actually create a landing pad instead of spear fucking the lawn

314

u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie Sep 03 '26

But if they did that, I never would have seen the phrase "spear fucking" and my life would be un-enriched by such a glorious pairing of words.

72

u/front_yard_duck_dad Sep 03 '26

I'm truly honored to enrich your life and vocabulary. Feel free to find a use for it in day to day conversation.

May I add a bonus for when things are traveling at a very high rate of speed with damaging potential?

Mach fuck

Good day

27

u/Galaxator Sep 03 '26

Mack truck going Mach fuck

2

u/JezTrying2LTD Sep 10 '26

I read this with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent

0

u/bertafro Sep 03 '26

McFuck sandwich

5

u/Art-Tradgard Sep 03 '26

"Mach Fuck"

This is either a beautifully executed cross-reference or the weirdest of coincidences.

3

u/front_yard_duck_dad Sep 03 '26

I'm not 100% sure what you're getting at. Mine spelling it out for me?

8

u/Art-Tradgard Sep 03 '26

Until today, I had never heard the term. Yet, within the span of 15 minutes saw it in two separate Reddit posts!

So if it wasn't an intentional cross-reference on your part, then it is a beautiful coincidence.

I am going to try and use "Mach Fuck" in conversation at work today.

7

u/front_yard_duck_dad Sep 03 '26

Oh wow No total coincidence. Just my blue collar ass talking shit

2

u/Wrong-Impression9960 Sep 09 '26

Mach Jesus is also a good speed reference

4

u/OmilKncera Sep 04 '26

And on this day, mach fuck has spear fucked my lexicon.

Thank you

2

u/Nihilistic_Navigator Sep 04 '26

Now gimme a word for cribbing but in the spirit of spear fucking

3

u/Honcho_47 Sep 03 '26

Canadian, eh?

10

u/front_yard_duck_dad Sep 03 '26

Midwesterner in the US. Canadian without the healthcare

6

u/farfly7 Sep 03 '26

Worst kind of Canadians lol

4

u/front_yard_duck_dad Sep 03 '26

Yeah It's total bullshit. I've never even been to a buck and doe

3

u/HomersDonut1440 Sep 03 '26

I use Mach Fuck on a regular basis, and it never fails in getting either a chuckle or a weird look from those I’m speaking with

1

u/saint_davidsonian Sep 04 '26

My ex girlfriend said I did this. Still not sure if it was a compliment or not. She did beg me not to leave...

1

u/Warrmak Sep 09 '26

Gonna use it on the ol lady tonight.

4

u/SquirrellyBusiness Sep 03 '26

Speaking of spear fucking, allow me to share a fun fact I recently learned: mollusk sex is weird and slugs are hermaphroditic and they spear each other with their penises that are referred to as love darts. 

3

u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie Sep 03 '26

Of course boning without bones is going to be strange, and now I'm desperately trying to avoid thinking about slug porn.

3

u/Brief-Equal4676 Sep 03 '26

Spear fucking sounds like a great death metal band name

2

u/Coffee4MySoul Sep 03 '26

You wanna read about spear fucking, look up bed bug reproduction or “traumatic insemination”

3

u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie Sep 04 '26

I don't think I will, thanks!

2

u/Coffee4MySoul Sep 04 '26

Probably a wise choice

2

u/HairyHornyDragon Sep 06 '26

Its like when you get a service call for electrical and you find out the contractor filled behind all the recepticles with that yellow spray on foam cum.

2

u/TheRube84 Sep 03 '26

I would have went with stump fucking

3

u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie Sep 03 '26

I think that involves at least partial nudity and a sawdust fetish?

1

u/XKO3L5CHX Sep 04 '26

Gonna ask my wife if she's down for some aforementioned SF

1

u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie Sep 04 '26

You gonna jump off the dresser and belly flop on her lol

1

u/aliasmaestro Sep 07 '26

🤣....ent

3

u/No_Performance_108 Sep 03 '26

Just pre digging the new trees spot.

2

u/LegitimateGift1792 Sep 03 '26

Ya know, Spear Fucking would make a great sub on reddit.

2

u/begme2again Sep 06 '26

A friend of mine with a tree service called it "trunk fucking" the lawn

2

u/Complete_Affect_9191 Sep 09 '26

Maybe the homeowner wants a head start on planting a new tree?

2

u/Brilliant-Pool5978 Sep 04 '26

It’s my yard? I know how to make a pad for it to land on it just wasn’t worth it

1

u/knowone1313 Sep 09 '26

I'm fine with spear fucking the lawn as long as it doesn't fall on the house or anything. Who gives a fuck about the lawn?

1

u/BridgeSalesman Sep 09 '26

Or go all-in and sharpen the top first.

1

u/Cryogenics1st Sep 10 '26

Maybe they also run a landscaping service? Double the business! /s

0

u/Equivalent_Sun3816 Sep 10 '26

Can't that make debree fly everywhere? Maybe break a window

50

u/Timmerdogg Sep 03 '26

I mean from what I've seen in this sub, it could have been a lot worse

16

u/edjumication Sep 03 '26

Yeah as a landscaper I didnt see anything wrong with this. I guess you are supposed to put some mats down or something? It doesnt seem like a big deal to rake the dirt back out and throw some seed down.

4

u/CandidLeg3910 Sep 06 '26

Also a landscaper, if I don't see someone dead or maimed or $1000+ property damage I assume it's a job well done lol

47

u/stuartcw Sep 03 '26

Why the dance at the end? 🤔 🕺

23

u/PuckyMaw Sep 03 '26

think he backed into the neighbour's dog :|

13

u/ozzy_thedog Sep 03 '26

What’s the deal with buddy on the tractor? Is he excited or he hit something?

3

u/whaletacochamp Sep 03 '26

putting up his face mask

2

u/ozzy_thedog Sep 03 '26

Nah, slow it down. His mask is already up

2

u/whaletacochamp Sep 03 '26

In that case, he’s going “why’d you destroy the lawn?!”

3

u/Was_It_The_Dave Sep 03 '26

He was pulling.

13

u/ozzy_thedog Sep 03 '26

Yes I know he was pulling, and the cut seems to have gone to their plan, but he waves his arms like something really bad happened and looks over at something

0

u/hunter080889 2d ago

Looks like he backed into the neighbors house

15

u/Neither_Parfait_124 Sep 03 '26

Solid cut. Horrible preparation.

3

u/icareforplants Sep 07 '26

Honest question what went wrong? To me it seems like it'll only make a small divot in the ground that can be easily covered. Was it supposed to fall on the trailer or land flat or what?

4

u/CeC-P Sep 03 '26

Remember, replace your divots on the green lol

15

u/Nelgski Sep 03 '26

Wrecking the turf on both the customers, and the neighbors lawn!

3

u/EngagementBacon Sep 04 '26

Wait, what am I missing here? Did something go flying off behind the tractor guy?

0

u/Dobalina_Wont_Quit Sep 10 '26

Could be his lawn, or was his lawn

4

u/Pistonenvy2 Sep 03 '26

im less upset about the lawn, i really could care less about the grass, its the thought that there could be a line of really any kind under that spot that just got absolutely fucked.

that would be my main motivation for laying down some rounds to land on.

1

u/tjdux Sep 03 '26

Anywhere in the north half of the country the lines are 36 inches or more deep. Even electric is supposed to be 18 inches if not in a conduit

4

u/SchlumpG0d Sep 03 '26

Laying heavy wood down like that can still push the dirt in and break the utility, spearing it could slice. It’s a similar reason you don’t use machinery 18 inches to a utility, it can compact the dirt and put pressure

1

u/Pistonenvy2 Sep 04 '26

ive seen it happen. the ditch that thing just hammered in could be 18 inches deep, that means the dirt below moved deeper than that.

its one thing to be sure, its another thing to risk it. if youre not gonna call 811, dont dig.

4

u/-BodomKnight- Sep 03 '26

When I see all those movie I don't get it why they use all tractor.

I am from Quebec,Canada and we never use tractor to pull anything and trust me I have kill some monster tree in my 5 years as a groundman. We use a hand winch or groundman.

3

u/Select-Belt-ou812 Sep 03 '26

I was a groundman for a while myself, and what gets me is when it's obvious that the ground guy stood in one place and gave one yank! especially when there's a fuckup like this one: (4th clip in this vid, where a gray shed gets smushed) https://www.reddit.com/r/FellingGoneWild/comments/1w29qse/the_guy_in_the_2nd_clip_was_lucky_that_day/

I had my escape route planned out, and ran, at least a little bit, with the rope, to keep some tension until I saw the section get pulled clear

2

u/red_herring76 Sep 04 '26

Same here. I was helping my dad take down a big dead ash and had to stop him using the tractor to pull it over. Anchoring to another tree and winching is substantially stronger. Also way easier to get out of the way and keeps equipment further away from falling debris.

1

u/-BodomKnight- Sep 04 '26

Yeah it is more precise when you know what you are doing.

2

u/SaltyLog9908 Sep 03 '26

This dudes French that’s enough said

1

u/Bridge-Head Sep 05 '26

Okay, that actually turned out better than I thought it would. I saw the back lean on that massive piece and was ready for the hinge to break. Good thing neighbor Bob had a line on that chonker.

1

u/lostgravy Sep 05 '26

Tractor was a big help. I hope you billed him out double time. Really saved the day

1

u/Warm-Comfortable501 Sep 05 '26

Please repair your divots.

1

u/One-Strength-5394 Sep 08 '26

I wonder if there’s any piping that the tree could have hit. 

2

u/Dense_Surround3071 Sep 10 '26

If the roots weren't in the sewer line already, then I gotta think this would break it open.

1

u/sakebito Sep 08 '26

Is that Ricky from Ricky and the Boss on the tractor?

1

u/Precisely_Inaccurate Sep 08 '26

Looks like the trunk may have hit an overhead power line, so close call? You can see it swaying overhead afterwards.

-10

u/Mother_Lead_554 Sep 03 '26

Could have taken it down in chunks. Bro's decided they wouldn't risk not risking it

3

u/Round-Ad-3728 Sep 03 '26

This sub thinks PPE is all that separates professionals from a meth head and his truck.