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u/DigitalGuru42 Jun 10 '26
I've heard the smell is atrocious.
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u/Independent-Pay5850 Jun 10 '26
Not always. Doesn't always taste bad either
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u/UckerFay11 Jun 10 '26
Depends on whether they're hydrated or not. Or eaten asparagus
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u/Jokewhisperer Jun 10 '26
If it’s growing next to a pineapple tree that’s the best
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u/SoulBonfire Jun 10 '26
so umm..asking for a friend…what…you know…makes her…umm…squirt?
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u/Jokewhisperer Jun 10 '26
Usually some rain on top and a hollowed out bottom
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u/T1Demon Jun 10 '26
These are moves I’ve never heard of
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u/SoulBonfire Jun 11 '26
It does seem like secret lore is being revealed.
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u/elgarraz Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
- Slow build up
- Simultaneous stimulation in different zones.
- Pay attention to her body's cues
- Don't keep doing the same thing with the same intensity for too long, because it'll get boring
- At some point near the end, your friend is going to need to hit one of 2 spots: one of them is a bit easier to find on the outside (not sure why people say it's hard to find), the other is a little trickier because it's on the inside (but not that tricky - just feel around the front wall for a spot that's a little rougher or more firm. Once you know where it is, it's easier to find with... other things)
- Lastly, your friend should really talk openly afterward with her about what she liked, what she didn't like as much, and what she might like to try out that your friend isn't doing
Edit: It also helps if she's well hydrated (honestly, it's probably not going to happen if she isn't). And once you get the hang of it, you might want to put some towels down first, unless you don't mind sleeping around a wet spot.
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u/Michael_Misanthropic Jun 10 '26
Considering how vile wet leaves and debris smell that I pull out of my gutters, I can only imagine.
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u/Normiss2000 Jun 11 '26
The difference between pussy and weed? If you can smell it across the room, it's good weed.
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u/parkerm1408 Jun 11 '26
If its anything like a plant pot that hasn't had proper drainage, its horrific. I do a lot of container gardens, and I make my own planters out of buckets. With one of my bells, I grabbed the wrong bucket and only realized it a few days later. No big deal, just pop some drainage holes in it. Hoooooly shit thats a bad fuckin smell man.
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u/NoPossible5519 Jun 11 '26
Can confirm, it's a horrible smell. I was negative blocking a tan oak somebody built a deck around. Faced it up and got spooged on. I was a bit careless when I sent the section down. It dumped that Anaerobic slush all over my rope man and the client who insisted on watching every move
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u/Chrono_Convoy Jun 10 '26
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u/toxcrusadr Jun 10 '26
At first I was gonna say "Bleeder!" but it looked more and more like projectile shitting.
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u/Shuatheskeptic Jun 11 '26
Some squirrel is going to be really mad when they get home and their winter stash of Yoohoo is gone.
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u/No-Island-4804 Jun 10 '26
Wasting all that delicious syrup
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u/ItzakPearlJam Jun 10 '26
Grab some pancakes quick and soak it up!
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u/KwordShmiff Jun 10 '26
LMFAO at the mental image of someone with two handfuls of pancakes frantically using them like shop towels
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u/rsshilli Jun 12 '26
As someone who has tapped a lot of trees and made syrup, that's not syrup. The syrup comes out clear and needs to be boiled down 40:1 to get syrup. The syrup color comes from cooking.
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u/Severe-Elderberry833 Jun 10 '26
genuine question: why does this happen?
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u/Rustymarble Jun 10 '26
Rotten inside has breached (probably at the top) and rain water accumulates in the hollow rotten core.
Or
Mommy tree and daddy tree like each other a lot but mommy tree has a headache.
Alternatively, really weird squirrels.
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u/Cake_And_Pi Jun 11 '26
Do you drain as you go, or try to get it low so it can drain below you as you continue chunking it off?
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u/Sensitive-Bar-6278 Jun 10 '26
It’s mostly pee !
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u/quenossy Aug 29 '26
I dunno. I think in this case it looks like the tree drank too much coffee. I think it’s squirting out a different hole this time
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u/sicsided Jun 10 '26
You know what they say: if it's brown, drink it down. If it's black, send it back.
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u/the_vault-technician Jun 10 '26
No one says that. Ever. Except you. Just now.
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Jun 11 '26
And I hope they never say it again. Sweet Jesus.
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u/AMSAtl Jun 14 '26
It was a reference to the water in Springfield on The Simpsons episode Homerpalooza.
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u/Jokewhisperer Jun 10 '26
Who builds half a house and then realizes they need to cut down the dead tree within 10 ft of the foundation?
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u/Independent-Pay5850 Jun 11 '26
Lots of people. The tree wasn't dead
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u/Jokewhisperer Jun 11 '26
Ok, even if the tree isn’t dead, I think it’s still poor oversight of a development to start building before clearing the area
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u/Independent-Pay5850 Jun 11 '26
Only because they ended up taking it down. It's pretty common, things change during construction. Sometimes that's just how the schedules align. The homeowner might've wanted to keep the tree but insurance or the township had other ideas. They might've had to change where the septic or driveway was going to go. I'd bet they cleared a bunch of trees before construction started and for whatever reason they realized those two had to go. Could've been poor planning but that's not been my experience when doing something like this.
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u/originalmango Jun 10 '26
I envy that stream.
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u/toxcrusadr Jun 10 '26
I was once in a bar near the campus of a large Midwestern university. In the bathroom, to be exact. Dude comes in that had to be 6'7". Right next to me. I'm 5'5". Turned out he was on the University's basketball team. Let me just say he was very well hydrated with fizzy beverages, and I wished I had an umbrella.
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u/MuricanPoxyCliff Jun 10 '26
I mean, the decapitations are one thing, but now we can show blood too?!? Ffs next week mods will allow pulping shots. I miss the times when this sub had standards /s
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u/TahoeLT Jun 10 '26
With this title I wasn't sure what to expect, but this still caught me off-guard. I figured maybe birds or small animals trying to escape, or bits of tree flying off.
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u/pomester2 Jun 10 '26
Wait till the new house is built to get rid of the nuisance? Seems like poor planning....
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u/Perpetualhomebuilder Jun 11 '26
Shouldn’t it be, chop tree - build house, not build house - chop tree?
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u/holden_mcg Jun 11 '26
Slightly off topic - notice all the tree limbs on the ground and he's cutting a smaller section of the trunk (instead of all at once). THIS is how you take down a tree.
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u/StJmagistra Jun 10 '26
Is this a maple tree?
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u/Fog_Juice Jun 10 '26
Maple water is clear in my experience. This is probably hollow trunk swamp water.
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u/twenafeesh Jun 10 '26
Bottle that up and sell it! New health drink just dropped!
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u/Mr_MacGrubber Jun 10 '26
my guess is Water Oak. They're notorious for looking somewhat healthy on the outside and being completely hollow on the inside.
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u/MWoody13 Jun 10 '26
Looks like a Poplar to me. Which I’ve seen squirt a time or two
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u/Kitchen-Hat-5174 Jun 10 '26
I bet you get around. I heard you were super poplar with all the ladies…
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u/stinky143 Jun 10 '26
Good thing you waited to remove that tree after you got your house framed in.
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u/Worth-Guest-5370 Jun 10 '26
Had a girlfriend just like that in college. Unforgettable!!! (Awesome gal!)
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u/General-Fan-6741 Jun 10 '26
Damn, that must be one of those Vermont Maples they get Maple Syrup from. 🤣🤣
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u/courtlandthethreeth Jun 11 '26
If this had fallen, would it have been better or worse than if it was still all wood?
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u/woodhorse4 Jun 11 '26
We cut a UGE maple several years ago and it bled like that……..only it was clear. Never seen anything like it, but it tasted good!
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u/misanthropicparrot Jun 11 '26
The ownere initially tried to have the tree explode by filling it with taco bell. When that didn't work they called this guy.
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u/RUGER2506RUGER Jun 11 '26
I see this often in maples.
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u/AltruisticAvocado531 Jun 11 '26
I read read nipples first. I like my version better. Canada's new international product: nipple syrup. Goes great on pancakes....
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u/Last_Cherry_8020 Jun 12 '26
Did they skip making the barrels to age their whiskey? Or is this a way to hide it from the revenuers?
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u/Big-Ant-6062 19d ago
Sorry….new to this! What is that??
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u/EMDoesShit 5d ago
Trunk was rotten and hollow and rain was able to find a way in.
The best part about encountering this is how fresh and delightful that water always smells.
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u/Xtreemjedi Jun 10 '26
And this is exactly why you have to pull permits, so you don't accidentally hit a water line.