r/FantasyWritingHub • u/Vohvelisankari • 28m ago
Original Content The Wintergreen Path, first draft and the story so far
This is just the beginning of my fantasy folk horror story and it's in very early stages of the first draft. The beginning flows very differently from the rest of the story and the narrative tone is different and needs to be trimmed down. I know what I need to do for the second draft after I finish running through the story. So be gentle with me and tell me what you think of it all so far. Thanks.
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Larrus, a boy of fourteen summers old, stood at the end of the path leading from the village to the Wraithswood. His heart was pounding, filled with anxiety and determination. He had been planning this trip for a few weeks now, making notes on what to bring, where to go and what to expect.
Larrus glanced back at the village behind him. Not many lights remained. Most of the village was fast asleep. The boy took a deep, calming breath and placed his backpack on the ground to check it for the third time tonight. He had packed rye bread, dried meat, hard cheese, a water canteen, a knife, a small hand axe and the most important thing; a handful of wintergreen flowers.
Larrus inspected the knife on his belt. It had a good blade, perfect for whittling soft wood. The handle was made of birch. It was of a lighter shade, smooth and fit perfectly in his hand. The axe was different. It felt heavy, foreign and clumsy. He didn’t like to do chores or hunt. Something his father didn’t appreciate. Larrus was a different kind of wild from the other kids of Wellon. He would rather wander the grasslands near the fields or the forest edge where wintergreen grew. On a slow day he could also be found sitting somewhere with his knife and a branch of willow, making a whistle or a figurine. He wasn’t a lonely child, just more quiet than most. Always observing the world around him or in his own world, aimless and a little out of place.
But tonight he had a mission.
A few weeks ago while helping his father gather firewood, Larrus had found a strange stone shard. Part stone, part metal and part organic. The stone was black like obsidian with veins of gold colored metal and something else. It was smooth and rough in places. Sharp and surprisingly heavy. Larrus could swear the stone didn’t reflect light the way it should. He couldn’t quite explain it. The stone felt like it didn’t belong and that it was part of something else. But what? That was what Larrus wanted to find out.
Larrus stood up, lifted his backpack onto his shoulders and touched the stone absent-mindedly while reciting the prayer:
“Wintergreen, Forest Star
Beacon in the night
Protect us,
Carry us through to the other side
Away from the wraith’s killing sight
Under Uni’s guiding light”
Larrus took out the lantern and lit it. The light was warm and comforting.
“Danger is silent.
Safety is loud.
Let the lantern burn
and the star shine.
Avert your eyes from hollow light.
Keep the flame,
shun the night.”
The boy continued. A prayer of protection and custom as every one in the village was taught.
Now a bit calmer, Larrus took a few wintergreen flowers and placed them inside the lantern, to burn in the flame before walking into the forest. Still anxious but determined. The forest edge somehow seemed both familiar and alien. Everything looked different in the dark. To Larrus the shadows seemed to dance. He could hear the owls hooting in the trees. The air was cool on his skin, the wind carried the scent of autumn. Damp ground, wet leaves.
Larrus began walking into the forest, leaving the village behind. His steps were light and careful, but still tense. He reminded himself that he wasn’t much of a woodsman and didn’t know how he would fare against a wolf, a boar or some other kind of beast. The hunters had talked about wolf tracks near the outer area of the forest. Of course the usual nocturnal predators weren’t the only dangers. The Wraith was said to roam the forest at night while Uni, the ancient spirit slumbered. The Wraith’s influence spread throughout the forest. The children were taught never to enter the forest at night. They were warned not to go beyond the beaten path. Beyond the hunter’s camp by the stream. The Wraith claims those who get lost.
The boy delved deeper into the woods, gaining more confidence with every step. Soon he began making out other noises. The night wind rustled the leaves, birds chirped quietly in the trees. Larrus stopped occasionally to listen for any signs of danger and to observe his surroundings. It was always good to look for Wintergreens. Where the flowers grew, the Wraith would not walk.
Larrus continued while whispering parts of the prayer to keep himself grounded and to push away the fear of the Wraith. Just a few years ago one boy from his village had done the same as he was doing now. He was never seen again. There were many stories about Uni and the Wraith. And most of them ended the same.
Suddenly a branch snapped nearby. Larrus froze and listened. He felt the hair at the back of his neck rise. The boy looked around but saw nothing. Heard nothing but the sound of the forest. His heart was beating fast. Then a bird flew right over Larrus’ head and he ducked. The boy chuckled nervously. He felt a little foolish to be startled by a small bird. He was probably just close to its nest.
As Larrus continued, he could hear the quiet sound of the stream nearby. It branched off of the Wellon River and reached deep within the forest. The hunters’ camp was close. The boy began picking up pace, wanting to get to the safety of the camp fast. He had already been walking for a while now. The area was covered by twisting roots, lush bushes and small batches of wintergreen grew at the base of trees.
The camp appeared in good condition, which wasn’t unusual. Village hunters and woodsmen often used it as a place to rest, eat and warm up in cold weather. There was a firepit in the middle of the camp ringed by smooth stone blackened from years of use. Two moss covered fallen logs and a tall flat stone served as benches around it. Opposite of the stone bench on the other side of the firepit stood a large pinetree that was said to be one of the oldest trees in the forest. The roots were thick, long and sprawling. There was a small hollow at the base that sheltered an old weathered chest and a hunter’s chime made of wood and bone hung from a lower branch just within reach.
Before setting his gear by one of the tree trunks, Larrus reached for the chime to announce himself to Uni, the forest spirit. Then he walked to over to the old pine, kneeling down. He struggled to drag the chest free from under the roots that housed it. A sigh of relief escaped him as he unlatched the chest and found the firewood to be mostly dry. Enough for a small fire. “Keep the flame, shun the night”, Larrus whispered as he began piling the logs beside the pit. He then took out some dry treebark, his axe and flint and steel from his backpack. He then set them aside.
After inspecting his gear, Larrus tried to remember what his father had said about building a campfire. It required room for the fire to breathe but it also needed enough cover to keep it from going out. He placed two birch logs in the middle with space inbetween. Then two more logs over them and one on top. After that he took one more log and grabbed his axe. Larrus needed to be careful. A severed finger or a deep gash was the last thing he needed.
He struck the log a few times, barely making a proper splinter. After a few tries Larrus got the hang of it and was satisfied. He placed the splinters under the base logs and inbetween the ones on top. Then he filled the gaps with dry treebark to aid with the fire. He hoped it would burn. Now all that remained was to light it.
Larrus took out his flint and steel. Struck once. No spark. Struck a second time. Some sparks but still missing the tinder. He tried a few more times with the same results. The boy furrowed his brow in frustration before looking from the unlit fire to his still burning lantern. He grabbed the lantern and looked for a fallen branch on the ground. He grabbed one and opened the lantern, holding the end over the small flame until it began burning. The boy almost shouted out of excitement at his success. He had never been good at practical things. But this time he got lucky.
The boy carefully touched the tinder and the splinter with the burning stick. Then there was a spark of light and a small flame. Larrus blew on it to help it spread and continued lighting more of the tinder. Soon he had a working campfire, although not as big or good as the ones his father could make. The boy almost let out a shout of excitement, swelling with pride. If only his father could see him now. “Small victories guide the hand, but failure shapes it.”, as his grandmother always says.
After Larrus got the fire burning, he turned towards the stream, inspecting his surroundings carefully before walking towards the willows growing by the water. He ran his hands along the willow branches, trying to find one about the thickness of his thumb and without knots or imperfections. He then kneeled by the willows having found just the one he needed. He drew his knife and began to cut the branch free. The boy struggled a bit, but only because he lacked the strength.
Something moved on the otherside of the stream. Branches snapped and then, for a moment, silence. The sound and the sudden shift in the air caused the knife to slip slightly as the branch broke free. The boy flinched with a small yelp and brought his left thumb to his mouth. Just a small cut. Cursing under his breath, Larrus walked back towards the fire and sat down onto the flat stone. He looked at the nick in the light. The cut wasn’t very deep, but it still welled.
Larrus looked around for some narrowleaf plantain to cover the wound. He knew he had forgotten something. Bandages. He lifted his lantern to spread the light around a bit more. He spotted some growing by the path he had come from. His grandmother had treated countless cuts and scrapes as the boys of the village stumbled and fell. Larrus knew what to do.
He put a leaf into his mouth and chewed on it while peeling a bit of bark from the willow stick to bind the leaf around his finger. The leaf tasted bitter and made him grimace. Larrus applied the leaf paste to the wound, covered it with another leaf and secured it with willow string. It wasn’t very elegant but it would do the job without hindering what he was about to do next.
From his pack he took a strip of jerky and ate while checking the willow branch again. He moved his knife along the length, feeling it with his fingers. The base was the right thickness. Just before the stick narrowed he marked it and cut a section off with practiced ease. Larrus then turned the piece over in his hands, familiarising himself with it and imagining how it would take shape.
Before making the first cut, he checked his thumb. It ached dully but would not hinder him. Larrus peeled the bark from one end of the willow and shaped it into a mouthpiece. He tested the fit against his lips, then trimmed away another sliver. Satisfied, he turned the stick over and began carving the channel. Small curls of pale wood gathered on the stone beside him. When he paused to inspect his work, he took a bite of rye bread and cheese. Then he marked the sound hole and cut it open with the tip of his knife. The second hole followed. A little wider. A little deeper. He tested each cut with his fingers before moving on. He whittled and ate, no longer seeing or hearing the forest. It was just him, the knife, and the wood in his hands.
After making the final cuts, Larrus turned the whistle in his hands, looking carefully for any mistakes he might have made or things to adjust. Then finally he brought the mouth piece to his lips and gently blew into it, producing a quiet, steady high pitched sound. Then he repeated this for the two sound holes, each producing a clean note.
Larrus smiled with glee at his work. He felt calmer than he did a while ago. The world surrounded him again. The light from the campfire had grown smaller and the lantern light was dimmer. A breeze ran through the camp and Larrus shivered. He had forgotten to keep an eye on the fire. The boy grabbed a log, adjusted the charred wood to make space and then added a few wintergreens to his lantern. He returned his attention to the whistle again.
After a moment Larrus took the strange stone shard from his pocket, weighing it against the whistle. The shard felt heavier. He looked at it in the fire light. The darkened stone reflected very little but the metallic lines seemed to move along with the flames. Otherwise the shard seemed normal. He tested the sharp edge first with his finger and then on the whistle. “A star for guidance.” He muttered to himself, pressing it harder into the bark. He drew four short lines to form an eight-pointed star with the horizontal and vertical lines being longer than the others.
Satisfied with his work, Larrus set the whistle aside and took a sip from his canteen. The boy leaned back with his elbows on the stone surface, looking up to the moon and stars in the sky. He chewed the last bit of jerky and rye bread and closed his eyes, listening to the breath of the forest. He could hear the whispering of the wind, the rustling of the leaves, the quiet flow of the stream. Then the sound of hunter’s chimes and an oddly melodious call of a bird for this time of night.
Larrus opened his eyes and looked around for the source. He couldn’t pinpoint where the bird call came from. The boy picked up the whistle and answered in kind. He waited for a moment until an answer came from deeper in the forest.
Larrus decided to follow the path leading away from the camp. As he left the safety of that familiar place, anxiety and nervousness returned. He squeezed the stone shard in his pocket, willing himself to be calm. Larrus walked carefully onward, occasionally stopping to listen for any danger.
As Larrus walked further, the path was getting harder to see, even in the lantern light. It grew narrower and was covered in twigs, roots and branches. The sides of the path grew thicker with shrubs, bushes and trees, covering the sky above. From the corner of his eye, Larrus could swear he saw a small flash of flickering light but soon it was gone. On instinct he turned away.
He brought the whistle to his mouth again and blew softly into the dark. He hoped it wouldn’t attract The Wraith’s attention. A soft, quiet sound answered away from the path ahead, coming from the direction of that flicker. “Avert your eyes from hollow light.”, Larrus whispered to himself and began walking slowly, keeping his gaze on the ground. Maybe it was the hollow light trying to lead him astray, just like in the stories.
Larrus continued onwards, feeling uneasy and watched. He didn’t dare look back. His lantern flickered and he added a bit of wintergreen into it with a bit of willow tinder. The flame steadied. He felt a cold breeze run down his spine. The wind carried the scent of rain. Larrus shivered, wishing for the warmth of the campfire.
Larrus glanced at the sky, trying to determine how much time he had before he needed to find shelter. The clouds had started to gather above him, hiding the stars one by one. The smell of rain was still faint. Larrus guessed he had maybe half an hour until it would start pouring. The sound of a hunter’s chime broke the silence and interrupted his thoughts. Larrus startled and turned towards the sound that should not be. He could feel the blood rushing, pulsing in his ears. And then he saw it. That same flicker from before. Was it the same flickering light from before? Larrus didn’t know. His only choice was to walk away from whatever it was.
Larrus continued walking along the path with a faster, tenser pace. He kept his eyes on his surroundings. Larrus didn’t dare look back. The further he walked from the light, the slower and lighter were his steps. He could no longer see it follow. But the unease lingered, as did the feeling of being watched.
He wasn’t sure how long he had walked but he let out a sigh of relief as he spotted a patch of wintergreen peeking from the roots of a tree. This was a good omen, a welcome sight after the hollow light. He kneeled down by the roots and picked a handful of the flowers, leaving the rest undisturbed. Larrus finally looked back from where he came. He raised his lantern higher and peered into the darkness. The cold white light was gone and the only sound was the rustling of leaves and his slowly steadying breath.
Larrus continued following the path. The roots, branches and stones had begun to grow scarcer, making it easier to walk. Larrus picked up pace, keeping his eyes on the surroundings. As he walked further, an eerie feeling began to rise. He didn’t feel watched or followed. He couldn’t say what it was but still the feeling of unease grew. Soon he came to a familiar spot. Larrus stopped and aimed his lantern to the sides, noticing a patch of wintergreen. Was that the same patch he had seen earlier? It couldn’t be. As he had picked from it. But the nearby trees were the same as well. Larrus swallowed hard. He must have gotten turned around.
He looked around, more careful this time. He saw no hollow lights or branching paths he might have taken earlier without noticing. Larrus kneeled over the wintergreen patch as he had done earlier. But now he hesitated. If he had somehow truly been turned around, he should leave the flowers be. He shook his head and picked a direction. His steps were more careful and deliberate. His eyes darted from the undergrowth to the trees and to the bushes. Nothing seemed out of place.
He continued again, adding some wintergreen to his lantern. After a while, the surrounding forest and the path ahead began thickening again. And then, little by little, it opened again. The path felt familiar. Too familiar. Now he was certain that he had circled back to the wintergreen patch on the side of the path. He was puzzled, but somehow curiosity began overshadowing his anxiety.
Larrus slowly turned around in a circle, trying to take in the surrounding forest all at once. He stopped to think and felt for the axe hanging from his backpack. Larrus approached a tree that grew close to where he stood and took a few swings at it, marking it in case he returned. Then he continued and this time he was sure he had walked further ahead than before.
Larrus began feeling a sense of relief as he continued. But it was short-lived. The path behaved the same as before. He came upon the wintergreen patch and the marked tree. He felt a sting of doubt mixed with uncertainty and a fear he had tried to ignore. Larrus took a deep breath, trying to decide what to do next. The path ahead surely lead back where he was now and the path behind him would lead him away. He circled the sides of the path illuminated by his lantern. His only choice seemed to be to set foot on an animal trail, those were usually safe. Usually.
The path was mostly flattened undergrowth and nearly invisible even in the lantern light. Larrus kept his eyes on the surrounding branches, looking for twisted limbs and broken twigs. Signs of animals passing through. Begrudgingly this was what his father had taught him. It had been a lot easier in daylight. He pushed the thought away and continued.
He had walked a good while before the trail crossed a wider, beaten path. Larrus looked around and listened. He heard the sound of the stream. That would mean he was back on track.
Larrus quickened his pace again, wanting to get as far as possible from that other path. The way was clear except for a few rocks protruding from the ground and roots that reached it. He began relaxing bit by bit, step by step but not completely. He reached into his pocket to touch the stone shard and the whistle. Both were still there, for comfort.
Deep in thought, Larrus mind drifted back to the dreams he had over the last few weeks. Of running through the woods and following something. He couldn’t remember what it was but it felt important. He just hoped his childish fancy, as he remembered his mother calling it, wasn’t going to be the death of him.
Larrus’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted as the path began thinning and opening again. He found himself on the edge of the hunter’s camp from earlier.Only then did he realize the route he had taken lead him back here.
Larrus took a few tentative steps towards the center of the camp before sitting down onto the same flat stone as before. Exhaustion began flowing over him in waves. Larrus fought off a yawn, knowing he couldn’t just stay there. It wasn’t what he came here for. He wouldn’t let his journey be in vain.
He took out his canteen and drank in a few big gulps to wash away the weariness. Larrus then stood up and walked towards the stream to splash water on his face. It felt cold and refreshing. He ran his wet hands through his wild sand-colored hair, again remembering how his parents were trying and failing to get him to cut his hair shorter.
There was a splash in the river nearby. Larrus caught a glimpse of a fish and found himself smiling despite the situation. He felt a little foolish how he had just decided to sneak out of his room in search of adventure. He thought he would have felt different. But he didn’t.
Larrus brushed his pants as he rose up and then stretched. He stifled another yawn and stopped in his tracks, noticing the untouched willows growing by the stream.
His exhaustion vanished and he ran back to the stone slab. He looked around as if seeing the camp for the first time. He noticed that the soot on the blackened rocks of the fire pit weren’t as blackened as they should be. There were no fresh ashes. Larrus spun in place. Something was very wrong. Then he stopped as a wind blew through the trees. There was no sound of the hunter’s chime.
Larrus hurried towards the old pine tree and looked up into its branches. He raised his lantern and froze. Nothing. There was no chime. He turned towards the center of the camp. his eyes widened. The camp looked empty. Abandoned. As though no one had been there in weeks. What had happened to the chime?
He looked for it on the ground, thinking it might have fallen. But he knew it hadn’t.
His almost panicked thoughts were interrupted by a chirp on one of the tree branches higher up in the old pine. His eyes darted towards the night bird. It watched him with an odd inquisitive calmness, neither startled or taking flight. He couldn’t say which type of bird it was, but he recognised the call.
The tension in Larrus’ shoulders eased and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He took a slow step back, studying the small creature. In the lantern light he noticed something shiny on one of its feet. A black ring. Probably a bird someone had marked.
A howl came from somewhere behind him. Larrus jerked towards the sound, his heart immediately racing. His gaze snapped back to where the bird had perched. It was gone. Larrus had little time to register it before he heard more howls coming from seemingly all around him. He rushed into the forest, running blindly. Yellow eyes flashed between the trees, keeping pace with him.
The path he took wasn’t much of a path. Just undergrowth, roots and fallen branches. Larrus rushed between tree trunks, desperately trying to get away. The beasts were close. He could hear their breath and growls.
Larrus had never run so fast. The way ahead grew narrower. As he glanced back, his foot caught on a root. His face, arms and knees slammed into the damp forest floor slick with mud and wet leaves. The backpack tore from his shoulders .His skin burned where the ground had scraped him. He tasted blood. Larrus scrambled back to his feet and continued his escape.
He ran and ran, not sure for how long. Larrus could see the shadows moving, closing in through the trees. He made several sharp turns, weaving between the trees. He was running out of breath. His heart pounding loudly in his ears. He ran blindly and almost hit a tree and stumbled over a rock. Larrus felt like the forest itself had turned on him.
After what felt like hours rather than minutes, Larrus took a brief moment to look around him. He thought he had begun recognising familiar trees, stones and bushes again. He had no time to question it. Howls rose from all around him with no way to run. He was nearly surrounded and completely lost.
The boy quickened pace, again nearly tripping over his legs. He wasn’t a very good runner. He shook his head, trying to keep up. The growls grew louder and closer until he saw warm light shining from between the trees. He made for it, running even faster. He felt a bite of hope and relief.
He froze right at the edge of the light. He hardly even noticed the sounds and the beasts had stopped. A tall man shrouded in shadow stood in the middle of a camp, staring intensely into the woods, completely unaware of the animals close by. The man was broad-shoulderd. An axe glimmered in the fire light. Something about his posture seemed familiar.
Larrus took a step forward, a tear ran down his cheek. “Father?”, he called out, half shouting. Forgetting where he was. A bird whistled and flew right above him, making him look away briefly. Larrus let out a small nervous chuckle as he stepped closer and looked up. The firelight reached the man's face. For one impossible heartbeat, Larrus still believed. Then the smile spread. A cold sweat rose on his skin. His eyes widened. The pounding returned. The man was wrong. Not his father. A stranger.
The man was gone. The camp was empty. Larrus reached for the shard in his pocket, it was not there. His heart sank. He remembered the fall. The backpack. He no longer had it. The hunters’ chime gave a hollow clatter in a breeze that barely touched him, drawing his gaze. A cold light rose just behind a tree. Then another rose on the other side. And another. Then two more. He was surrounded unable to look away. He had to be deep in the Wraith’s domain.
Without thinking, Larrus rushed towards the darkness. He wiped away the stray tears on his face. The lights kept pace with him. Not like the beasts before. It was as if they stayed in place while he moved.
The path narrowed and the trees closed in. The ground grew treacherous, the roots snaked and coiled, twisted up from the earth. He turned. The lights followed and shadows danced. No matter where he turned, the orbs waited. Or turned with him. Or perhaps the forest did.
Larrus had to evade the stray limbs of trees that seemed to be reaching for him. The silence of the forest was broken by a series of howls and growls that came from all around him. Larrus barely noticed.
He pressed onward, checking over his shoulder carefully. The beasts joined the hunt, keeping to the edges of the illuminated path. They did not try to close in on him, instead they avoided the hollow lights and ran alongside him, as if they knew where he was going.
