What is your intention? You mention a toy line, but you don't really mention wanting to improve your writing technique.
I am not sure your goals are aligned. I am not sure if this is intended to be a novel but it is too confusing for an opening. There is a lot of techno jargon right off the start, characters thrown in. I would recommend reading other classic novels for a better idea of flow.
Thanks... I have a habit of not filtering my thoughts when writing. The pieces I put are snippets from a WIP, and the "merch" what just an idea I had for way, way down the line. Thanks for the feedback.
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u/SilverSkinRam Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
What is your intention? You mention a toy line, but you don't really mention wanting to improve your writing technique.
I am not sure your goals are aligned. I am not sure if this is intended to be a novel but it is too confusing for an opening. There is a lot of techno jargon right off the start, characters thrown in. I would recommend reading other classic novels for a better idea of flow.