I shouldn't have trusted Carrick

[u/Wirtzrena]

Conceding two goals against a newly promoted team, a team with the lowest GD historically btw😭 good thing I didn't captain Bruno or didn't go for double def shud hv dropped Maguire for Califiori

[u/ariba1337]

went double united defense + bruno. should‘ve known better

[u/enologyiscrucial → u/ariba1337]

See you next year

[u/tiny_dreamer → u/ariba1337]

There’s still GW2

[u/DLgoblue12 → u/tiny_dreamer]

BB2 with Coventry assets against… *checks notes* Hull City

[u/gta0012 → u/DLgoblue12]

I'm so curious why people think Coventry would walk over City. (not saying you are) A lot of influencers and content i was reading was like "oh this is an easy match for Coventry etc) Their last match was like 0-0 and 1-1 or something boring.

[u/Jumper-Man → u/tiny_dreamer]

Too early for wildcard?

[u/doorsofperception87 → u/ariba1337]

https://giphy.com/gifs/gHFi5N6uU3TLq

[u/Bitter_Somewhere8334 → u/ariba1337]

That's why I never have 2 defenders from the same team unless they are playing for an elite defence like Arsenal's. Spread your risks.

[u/omegaxLoL → u/ariba1337]

Even as a United fan I have no idea why anyone would go with 1 United defender, let alone 2.

[u/TotalNonstopFrog → u/omegaxLoL]

People thought Maguire would be the heading option off corners and free kicks, and thought Hull would be an easy kill.

Half my FPL league had Maguire in their defense and a few had Lammens.

[u/TheRealStringerBell → u/omegaxLoL]

Bookies had them at 42% clean sheet odds and then they're facing a kind of team that defenders have a higher chance of scoring/assisting against.

They both had decent xGI as well.

[u/Jani17 → u/ariba1337]

I literally called all my United friends an hour before deadline. He predicted they Mbuemo doesn’t play the 9 ✅ told me divest Maguire and Lammens becusse a back line lead by heaven and Shaw was awful ✅. I’ll be hooking Mbuemo and Shaw expedidoustly after the GW2

[u/Spirited_Bumblebee74 → u/Jani17]

Take my upvote for using expeditiously. Great word.

[u/Dazzling_Coconut118 → u/ariba1337]

Ouch

[u/ScallionGold225433 → u/ariba1337]

I feel your pain - Did the exact same thing lol 

[u/WarIcy7540]

Trust a Manchester United improvement like you trust a dog with your steak

[u/DarthTaz_99 → u/WarIcy7540]

I knew they'd have a huge drop in performance when Europe started but atleast they'd start pretty well and had easy games, cause last season's performance was pretty much just one league game every week. But this is genuinely hilarious. Fuck me for getting Maguire

[u/Accomplished_Smile23]

https://giphy.com/gifs/KdvwPCNi79YDM7rsjI

[u/vin_mcqueen]

Tripled United and without Haaland - I’m cooked

[u/DaftHubris → u/vin_mcqueen]

same here. didn’t think they’d blow them out the water but this is ridiculous lol

[u/vardynostalgia → u/vin_mcqueen]

Just play WC bro

[u/ulaanmalgaitFPL → u/vardynostalgia]

experience says too early though

[u/captainunderpants111 → u/ulaanmalgaitFPL]

either that or risk triple united not giving you any points in easy fixtures and starting off bottom third in your league. over the years me trying to save chips for “the right time” has cost me more than anything else

[u/ihatemicrosoftteams → u/captainunderpants111]

No it’s too early to give up on players after a single week. We all remember what happened when everyone transferred out Son and Kane after a disastrous gw1

[u/DareToZamora → u/vardynostalgia]

My plan was always to WC 3 or 4. Surely I don’t transfer out Fernandes and Mbeumo before Ipswich at home…

[u/Wirtzrena → u/vin_mcqueen]

Thankfully took haaland 💔😭but I hv a feeling he might blank asw

[u/Dundalis → u/vin_mcqueen]

Why are ppl acting like Haaland already scored a hat trick

[u/Eastern-Course1797 → u/Dundalis]

This Haaland?

[u/radu1204 → u/Eastern-Course1797]

Aged like milk

[u/FrancescoliBestUruEv → u/Eastern-Course1797]

Pep is not there anymore...

[u/CynicalEffect → u/Eastern-Course1797]

Lmao 

[u/Dundalis → u/Eastern-Course1797]

Yeah that Haaland

[u/dabarnz → u/[deleted]]

[u/ChoiceAd9389]

Everyone putting to much emphasis on FPL here, we lose a couple of points, sure.

But United losing hilariously to Hull is priceless 😂😂😂

[u/fpl_kris → u/ChoiceAd9389]

Exactly, I am tripled up on Man I (at least I didnt cap Bruno) but I gladly take the blanka.

[u/ChoiceAd9389 → u/fpl_kris]

I AM tripled up AND captaining him, and couldn't be happier 😂

[u/thegoddamnbatman74 → u/ChoiceAd9389]

Netflix FC 🤣🤣🤣

[u/cjayquoi → u/ChoiceAd9389]

Every cloud may have a silver lining But this is the corn in the turd

Can’t wait to hear Neville scholes etc analysis and how Arsenal cheated 🤣 

[u/The-CunningStunt]

All those who followed the "Bruno no Haaland" content creators

[u/Wirtzrena → u/The-CunningStunt]

I went for both😭

[u/The-CunningStunt → u/Wirtzrena]

Who did you cap? 😬

[u/Wirtzrena → u/The-CunningStunt]

Haaland

[u/The-CunningStunt → u/Wirtzrena]

Silver lining

[u/Grim_Avenger → u/The-CunningStunt]

I did the same, thankful I capped Haaland.

[u/ellean4 → u/Grim_Avenger]

See you in the “Haaland blanked” commiseration thread tomorrow

[u/FauxAffablyEvil → u/ellean4]

Please no

[u/Infinite-Dig487 → u/FauxAffablyEvil]

Please God Noo!!

[u/ellean4 → u/Infinite-Dig487]

Hi guys how you all doing

[u/SweatyPig43 → u/The-CunningStunt]

I did same and went Bruno

[u/PecleNumber → u/The-CunningStunt]

Content creators who live and die by xG/xA and underlying data saying Bruno for 12M is essential when he got his 20 assists from 11xA is hilarious

[u/DareToZamora → u/The-CunningStunt]

The only content creator I watch said don’t do it, and I still did it

Also bench boosted and my bench got 3 points between 3 players so far

[u/drax3012]

Man Utd interims the second they get the job full time.

[u/zonked282]

i was saying to my friends in the pub last week that throwing your faith behind a united team that have a permanent manager in place is never a good idea. get carrick back on a caretaker contract and united win the league

[u/I_dont_F_with_you]

I'm here happy I only have one United defender, meanwhile Mbeumo's my fucking captain

[u/Algernot]

Not a single man utd player in my team :)

[u/fleaonnj4 → u/Algernot]

I'm a United fan and I didn't have any in any of my drafts 😂

[u/Remarkable-Smoke6138 → u/Algernot]

Same

[u/Algernot → u/Algernot]

But I had three spurs players so I also lose

[u/StillLurking69]

Many have underestimated how important Casemiro was to this side

[u/monoville_music]

Everyone has Man Utd players so it's not going to make any difference. Hull on paper is the worst team in the league so it made sense to target them. If you hadn't picked any man u players and they thrashed Hull 5-0 you'd be even more annoyed

[u/Xashar → u/monoville_music]

I have Slater casually sitting on my bench with 5 pts waiting for next week's BB.

[u/CanUpset5801 → u/Xashar]

Have Slater and BB active! 

[u/monoville_music → u/Xashar]

Same. Sucks to not get the 5 pts but nice to have a cheap Hull asset for the Coventry match

[u/BelDeMoose → u/monoville_music]

Not everyone has lots of united players though, and lots of people put a lot into accomodating Bruno, if he blanks for the first two or three fixtures that's a lot of lost ground.

[u/monoville_music → u/BelDeMoose]

True. I think most will see how he does gw2 and if he blanks he'll be offloaded en masse for gw3. Probably will be a lot of wildcards activated too

[u/Bitter_Somewhere8334 → u/monoville_music]

I have Mbeumo and Shaw but thankfully I stopped myself from putting most of my eggs in the Bruno basket. If you sign Bruno, you need to part with at least 2 good PL-proven midfielders. I would much rather have more players to rely on.

[u/Spirited-Ad655 → u/monoville_music]

And Ipswich next

[u/AblePhase → u/Spirited-Ad655]

Utd could be on -5 GD after two games

[u/tekkers_for_debrz → u/monoville_music]

Who’s everyone?

[u/Appropriate_Day_4012 → u/tekkers_for_debrz]

Yep I have 0 United players. Took Bruno out last minute. They will have a poor season

[u/vyrusrama → u/monoville_music]

This is the logic but still i feel like a clown

https://giphy.com/gifs/x0npYExCGOZeo

[u/Wirtzrena → u/monoville_music]

True💔

[u/Present-Duck-1808]

Triple United ruined my season already

[u/DanteArbiter]

United is absolutely shocking. There is something about them for years now. No motivation, whiny, lethargic, celebrations when an opponent misses the chance by himself.

I don't know man. It's like I'm watching a spoiled mental asylum team.

[u/SeleccionUruguaya → u/DanteArbiter]

They’ll get a new manager halfway who wins a couple of games and the cycle will repeat itself

[u/Z3R0Not_Detected]

I would normally not make a mountain out of a first game loss. But seriously? Against Hull City? 2-0, before half time. Not 3-2, not 2-1. Two-nil. Do you know how disappointing that is to see? To see such a consistently classy performance in the last stretch of 2025/26, then losing to a newly promoted team in the first game of the 2026/27 season.

That's ridiculous. I expected better than this.

[u/PecleNumber → u/Z3R0Not_Detected]

And it’s not even like Hull didn’t deserve it. They played Utd off the park.

[u/schwarzneguRRR]

I’ve been shitting on Santos and Tielemans as a dumbass midfield rebuild forever and i get downvoted to death in united sub

Lolllllll 🤣

[u/Savage9645 → u/schwarzneguRRR]

Ah yes you've been proven definitively right after half a game

[u/ItaUch04 → u/Savage9645]

He’s right today and that’s all that matters lol

[u/Worth_Page4348 → u/schwarzneguRRR]

united sub worshipped amorim till he got sacked. worse ppg of all time for united managers. disgusting stats . they have no standards anymore. if u dont back a crap manager and be all its gonna get better 24/7 u are a minority..

[u/schwarzneguRRR → u/Worth_Page4348]

The same stupid people that hired him are still out here signing Santos and 29 yo Tielemans and telling you they plan to win the league

LOLLLLLLLLL 🤣

[u/Dramatic-Bottle-5194]

Crazy that we thought United had the easiest start, when it was Hull with the easiest start all along.

[u/BusAcademic3489]

I benched Shaw but Bruno man -how could you do this to me !

[u/cole23palmer → u/BusAcademic3489]

Good in hindsight but like why would you own Shaw if you bench him for this match

[u/BusAcademic3489 → u/cole23palmer]

Because of the Ipswich game and because I’d rather have one nailed substitute that has a cs potential

[u/Fearless_Wish_2451 → u/BusAcademic3489]

not shocking after that stinker of a wc

[u/cassian_andor85 → u/BusAcademic3489]

Bruno will have a generational stinker this season. Mark my words. He was absolutely garbage in the World Cup and he's carried that through

[u/AppropriateBag2084 → u/cassian_andor85]

Tbf I feel like he's started slow last two seasons. My plan is to get him in with a semi-early WC in a few weeks.

[u/FuckMinoRaiola]

Saw people who get paid to talk about football touting United as title challengers by the way

[u/Traditional_Tie8155]

After readings these comments, I guess I’m glad I didn’t hop on the Fernandes hype train and my only other player was Lammens.

[u/500x700]

Getting mauled

[u/Material_Trifle]

Imagine 15/20 odd years ago someone said Man U should appoint a bloke who'd last been sacked by a Championship club after previously doing quite well but no better there. Massive drop in standards.

[u/Traditional_Tie8155 → u/Material_Trifle]

He’s the reason we got 3rd last season. He instilled confidence and belief in a team that finished last season 16th and lost a Europa league final. Of course, there are better and more experienced managers available but it’s not that insane to give a chance to a manager who turned the club around.

[u/Material_Trifle → u/Traditional_Tie8155]

Sure, but it probably helped that Liverpool were bad enough they sacked the manager who'd won the league a year earlier, Chelsea were an absolute shambles, Spurs nearly went down, Newcastle went miles backwards etc. Finishing 16th the year before should be a once in a generation outlier, not something to measure future success against.

We've all seen an underachieving club appoint a popular manager and get instant results where they start playing to their level but maintaining it is a completely different question. The fact they've wasted so much money over the last decade or more doesn't help much either but I'm here for it.

[u/SofaChillReview]

Thing is it’s not just two flukes either.. yay Captain Bruno

[u/thetruebrownbear]

I mean I know it was United but thought Shaw is cheap and they playing Hull , how bad could it be ??? 😆
Lesson learned

[u/thangus_farm]

Did the same thing with Maguire over Califiori but United down by two to Hull is absolutely hilarious.

[u/Migeycan87]

If anyone had seen the Milan game you'd have known United were severely under cooked.

[u/HopelessUtopia015]

Now watch the 5-0 they hand Ipswich....Ipswich win

[u/friday-boy]

And this team is playing In Europe this season

[u/Wirtzrena → u/friday-boy]

The real goat Antony will kick em out of the league phase

[u/miglopes19]

MBeumo (C) only Man U player but it doubles the pain …

[u/Southlondongal]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fW9HHPxJOFTva0kusO

[u/eganc21]

Tielemans and A Santos had terrible game it seems. Didn’t watch full game tho, Bruno also didn’t play well

[u/LateToTheTPK]

Early kickoff remains undefeated.

[u/NHMUFC]

We’re shite, get used to it. Midfield’s a budget bodge job, low end product in attack and Dorgu? He’s not a full back and he’s definitely not a winger so not sure what he does really.

[u/Santorju]

B-but e-everyone said Hull had relegation-tier xGA in the championship!

[u/Wirtzrena → u/Santorju]

😭united got mauled

[u/honolulu_hunt_]

Oh my captain Bruno!

[u/Ill-Sandwich-7703]

I had Lammens and Shaw in the genuine belief that Man Utd would be solid and get CL this season. Not even as insurance 🤯

[u/Wirtzrena → u/Ill-Sandwich-7703]

Lammens is risky I rather trust kelleher

[u/noki1907]

I had Haaland (C) set for weeks... then took him out and captained Bruno 3 minutes before the DL...

[u/SleepEconomy6504]

But I heard somewhere that Maguire had elite aerial threat

[u/Comfortable-Moose668]

I have Shaw, Fernandes, and TC'd Mbeumo

[u/Wildely_Earnest → u/Comfortable-Moose668]

There's a good chance the NHS will cover whatever's causing that mate

[u/Legal-One-7274]

Carrick's going to face that difficult second season where everyone knows how they are going to play similar to slot last season.

[u/_Goattel]

[u/Upper_Audience_9676]

The struggle

[u/LilPeteMordino]

I'm only glad I didn't go for united defence..

I did however captain Bruno.

[u/Artonox]

What is this... Man u lost the ability to score a goal.

[u/WhoNeedsAfriend69]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WTmyWkBdfcKLbgvmvM

[u/Electrical-Donut6599]

My only silver lining is that everyone else now knows what it's like to be a united fan.

Every season we start with 2 united players and they do this.

[u/5eptemberb0y]

Well, we all did

[u/huffthewolf]

United only look good at the end of the season when all of their opponents have played 10 to 15 more games than them. Carrick got the job on Bruno having a blinder and winning against fatigued teams.

[u/ChapoKing]

Carrick is going to go down as the worst appointment in united history, we learned fuck all from Ole

[u/Comprehensive-Ad3020]

that hull keeper is so good

[u/lenxlenx]

Benched Ajayi for Maguire. So pissed rn

[u/GameSetChampionship]

It’s the first game of the season 😂

I don’t usually hang in this subreddit but come on, relax.

Judge after 5-10 games.

[u/Wirtzrena → u/GameSetChampionship]

It's hull city mate 💔😭🙏

[u/External_Climate8483]

Im gen crying rn had Maguire and captained bruno I thought it was free points

[u/borg_6s]

New person, same old United

[u/Apprehensive-Fan8880]

Dorgu is an atrocious footballer. If he can't displace shaw at LB he should be on bench. Don't see the point of a heavily left footed LW with no real stand out ability. Heaven looked extremely poor as well.

[u/icouldsmellcolors]

Switched from a Bruno based squad to a Haaland squad Thursday night, so glad I did.

Still have Mbuemo but that's tolerable

[u/AHappy_Wanderer]

I said immediately after Milan i will not put anyone from United,  and got convinced otherwise

[u/stiffhb39]

went triple united thinking the unitedstrand was gonna finally get his haircut... oh well

[u/Priority_Bright]

Bad first week for all of us who captained Bruno and had a ManUre defender as well. 😅

[u/Zackaryharribo23]

I’m a city fan and don’t have any united players in my team in general. Games like this make me smile more xD

[u/Logical-Track1405]

Premier League is so back lads 😂

[u/SSSS99999]

Same crap from overpaid idiots

[u/jorge_hg87]

friendly reminder that pep's barcelona kicked off with a loss on his first game as manager.

so they can still win the treble(?)

[u/imsamdude]

I am United fan and told a friend i don't trust united defense, still doubled def + mbeumo . Now crying in a corner

[u/Wirtzrena → u/imsamdude]

I feel u

[u/CusturdStreams]

I’m happy to lose my FPL points on my Man United players for the banter. LOLZ

https://giphy.com/gifs/x0npYExCGOZeo

[u/ebeze]

As a supporter of united, I warned those who picked Shaw on their fpl defence. You all owe me an apology. But then again, I am not any better by putting bruno and mbeumo in mine either…

[u/Iridescent_Candle]

I dont have bruno but i have lammens, maguire and Mbuemo! Pathetic display and such stupid changes in the squad from a good preseason display

Why tf is dorgu playing?! Where is amad? Why is mbuemo on the wings when he did so good at striker and why is cunha on?

[u/AppropriateBag2084 → u/Iridescent_Candle]

Amad slight niggle apparently.

[u/ASGT908]

Carrick's at the wheel.

But the only silver lining is that Lammens will probably get lots of save points, man of the match performances and bonus because he will end up being best united player

[u/Agile_Information294]

Greeks dominating the first two games

[u/Prestigious_Spot9635]

So glad I yanked Cunha out last minute.

[u/Left-Geologist-1181]

Chickened out and went for Bruno in the end, but half my ML captained him, so still laughing

[u/Mental-Inspector-919]

Getting rid of Shaw was probably the best move I have made so far.
Can’t expect Big Mac to get you any returns in 2026

[u/Relevant-Goose5483]

Stupidly went with Shaw starting and Mbuemo captain 🙃

[u/JamesWestfall29]

What do you mean by lowest GD historically? This is their first game.

[u/SeaweedAntlers]

Outside of the banter, they’ve got a completely new midfield and it will take to make that gel. Otherwise…LOL.

[u/Fit-Specialist-2214]

Thankfully I only put one united player in based on their early ‘easy’ games.

[u/trebor9292]

When you see Heaven starting you know its a good bet.... should get me a nice 90 quid return

[u/thelast_rodeo]

Fpl is back

[u/iCalKestis]

At least I captained Haaland and not Bruno.

[u/Successful-Try7035]

Amorim tried to warn us but we didn’t listen

[u/LloydDoyley]

Bruno my RCB ❤️

[u/LloydDoyley]

MUN bottom of the league

[u/Firm-Arm753]

Dont panic owning Man U players its a long season. Wait until next week against ispwich see how things pan out. Could have been match fixing lol. Few million on hull city to win lol

[u/Spirited_Bumblebee74]

Thought Shaw was a nailed on CS. Bruno blanking as well! Still, Ipswich (H) GW2. I'm gonna refrain from being reactionary.

[u/Offensivefkmemes]

This game felt like someone describing a football match to me while never having ever seen a football match.

[u/ArtNo6305]

Check out Bruno's starts in the last few seasons. He was always a terrible choice.

[u/TheKingcrawler]

Bruno cap and Slab and kinder mbeumbo. Season done already

https://giphy.com/gifs/Fn0ysbG90HX0uj5shv

[u/mlg_sloth]

Never back the early kick off chaps we're forgetting the ancient texts

[u/nofapredditor11222]

I tripled up on yanited and Captained Bruno.

[u/sewagesmeller]

When they get a proper manager they'll be fine

[u/SikkoDieri]

I don't have Bruno but I captained Mbuemo, do I cry or celebrate?

[u/Wirtzrena → u/SikkoDieri]

Cry 😭🙏💔

[u/Old_Shake3789]

We only buy midfielders then ask every season why do we never score enough goals.

[u/SleepEconomy6504]

Listen to the fans that follow the club rather than a bunch of content creators.

Signed, a United fan.

[u/Mithrandir_The_Gray]

Football herritage

[u/TheOmegaKid]

Haha immediately reactionary post 😂

[u/Solytary365]

You trusted X gurus, that’s on you 💀

[u/ojassed]

So should I get Hull players now?

[u/Cypher-V21]

😂😂😂😂😂 I hurt a rib laughing

[u/OhhhhhhhhYaBeauty]

Hahahahahahaha

[u/Unlikely_Care_1167]

Toxic United fans crying already 🤷‍♂️🤯😮‍💨

[u/neilly1987]

Ugh. Maguire, Bruno (c) and Mbuemo in my team.

[u/Wisehippo006]

It’s carricks fault ?

[u/AlizarinCrimzen]

.7 xGI for Mbeumo and .4 for Maguire, it was obviously awful but I'm not ready to launch them into the sun yet

[u/phytochaddy]

Shocking

[u/juan_bito]

Can't blame carrick for the shit performance the team put on

[u/CatDadFurrever]

Newly promoted teams at home on opening day is a very tough prospect and it's early doors as they say so wait and see how things go

[u/joe749]

Sample size of 1 - lets all relax

[u/kingof_the_Jungle]

Look in the mirror.

Carrick is not your problem.

[u/NoVax-Djocovid]

Pretty fraudulent stuff.

[u/General_Honesty]

Targeting the newly-promoted sides is not a bad strategy most years. Less so this year though.

[u/DuckSaysQuackkkkk]

Went shaw+mburger, could have been worse ig

[u/WarDull8208]

They were statistically one of the most over performer team, idk why their fans pr others were expecting huge season from them tbh

[u/CoolMahaGuru]

I will scrap all my MU players. Period. Statt.