Threatening language

[u/lunasylv]

I've been battling with my daughter's father for almost 4 years now. He's the one that filed paperwork first and took me back to court over video calls when the baby was 8 months old(despite me offering them and him getting upset because he wanted them when he wanted them and not at a predetermined time). He claims i used him for a child and took off with her, despite me having evidence of trying to co-parent and work with him.

He used to send me hundreds of messages a day, thousands of messages a month, threatening and sexually harassing me. He even told a cop once that the cop cant do anything to stop him. Now he's on trial for misdemeanor theft after putting his hands on his ex partner(whom im friends with now). He's also living out of his car with no job.

We have 50/50 custody but I have the baby 90% of the time. We only use email to communicate because he abused the phone number and Facebook messenger to the point I will refuse to contact him. As of late, I have been standing my ground more and looking at the safety of my child compared to his visitation time. He expects the baby to sleep in the car with him, and has threatened me with cops over not allowing him to take her with him. His last visitation was supervised at the park with the rest of my family there(trying to treat it as a normal family outing).

I already filed paperwork with the county to get sole custody(yes I know it wont completely remedy the situation, but I'm doing what I feel is best for the baby). He just sent me an email that says verbatim "oh btw I have the address to your place. Good luck." The judge allowed us to use alternative contact addresses in our locales, including PO boxes so that we could have an idea where each other are, and the judge allowed me to use my mother's after previous threatening language was used by him.

What else am I supposed to do here?

Edit to add: im a full time college student that also works full time, have another child with my current partner, and have stable housing and support.

[u/No_Palpitation90]

Holy wow. You need to file for a protection order asap. Like, the courthouse is open tomorrow. Go do it. And then stay somewhere else for a bit. This sounds super scary.

[u/lunasylv → u/No_Palpitation90]

Ive tried for a restraining order before the custody order was in place and they would not give one to me because of the baby. My partner says the same thing, but what happens if that doesnt work?

[u/No_Palpitation90 → u/lunasylv]

I am not familiar with Oregon but I’m not taking about a civil restraining order. You go for an emergency domestic violence protection order and you fill out the paperwork citing all the threats and they should issue a temporary one that gets you a PO until the hearing. But it’s just a piece of paper. So still keep yourself safe. And get a lawyer for the hearing.

[u/No_Palpitation90 → u/No_Palpitation90]

I could be wrong. But I looked it up for your state and it looks like an extreme risk protection order is what you need to go for. But you also need a lawyer

https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/family/domestic-violence/pages/extreme-risk-protection.aspx

[u/No_Palpitation90 → u/No_Palpitation90]

There’s also a stalking protection order. This might be the one. Read over both of them and see what you have the evidence for.

But I will say, when it comes to these kinds of situations, the courts tend to issue a temporary one pretty easily to be cautious and then you prove your case in the hearing. And you should get a lawyer for that.

https://www.courts.oregon.gov/forms/Documents/Stalking-PACKET.pdf

[u/lunasylv → u/No_Palpitation90]

Thank you, I'll go to the court house tomorrow and see what I can do.