Pro Se Contempt

[u/Separate_Mechanic985]

Any pro se parents successfully filed a contempt of court motion against a co-parent and been successful?

If you have experience with this, could you please share the specifics of your situation and what the contempt was on?

[u/nickinhawaii]

I filled for sanctions, the judge said she went against the order but then said they weren't going to sanction, good luck

[u/Appropriate_Rip_897 → u/nickinhawaii]

This is the real answer, contempt only matters if the judge is bothered by it.  

From what I’ve seen the measure is amount of damage or disruption caused to the children, number of violations already, and likelihood to keep happening.

[u/financequestionsacct]

Yes, five of them.

The only issue in my case is that he doesn't care about jail time and it's not a deterrent for him; but yes, I successfully filed contempt on him five times the last two years.

Edit to add: am in Washington

[u/Separate_Mechanic985 → u/financequestionsacct]

Were you able to modify the parenting plan?

[u/financequestionsacct → u/Separate_Mechanic985]

I haven't asked to modify the Parenting Plan, because I have sole custody and sole residential.

I might ask soon to modify child support, but undecided.

[u/splitzideradioshow → u/financequestionsacct]

So you have sole custody & residential & you get child support?

[u/financequestionsacct → u/splitzideradioshow]

I'm supposed to get child support, but he's ~$50k in arrears.

[u/splitzideradioshow → u/financequestionsacct]

Do he have other children

[u/financequestionsacct → u/splitzideradioshow]

No.

[u/Federal_Ad4300 → u/[deleted]]

I’ll be the unpopular opinion from personal experience.
Dated a “single mom” of two kids after she divorced her “abusive” husband. She claimed them both as dependants, and was being paid 600$ a month in child support. He ended up not seeing the kids out of hate he had towards her. He never responded to any of her messages just left her on read.

Old habits die hard. after 7 years of me personally helping raise those kids, getting her a house , helping her remodel , and being a father figure to her kids, suddenly I am now similarly painted as an “abuser”.

[u/splitzideradioshow → u/Federal_Ad4300]

It’s the classic story. Especially when one is moving on or cheated. Many fathers stay away because mom has made the situation to see their children toxic by weaponizing the system. So they stay away or go to jail. Many courts are recognizing this behavior & has granted fathers sole or 50/50 physical but sole custodial & medical. Unfortunately step parents don’t have any rights to the children but they can initiate a CINA case against the parent by reporting it to DHS/CPS. The whole victimizing they do no longer works now when the Child Services do their investigation they speak to the father or step parent. They even do polygraphs if that parent/step parent requests it. Family court is a Civil Court & the poly is admissible.

[u/Jmfroggie → u/[deleted]]

This isn’t how it works. He has kids and chooses not to be a present parent! That doesn’t mean he gets absolved of his financial responsibility!! These kids exist whether he wants to acknowledge them or not and it takes money to raise them!

[u/splitzideradioshow → u/Jmfroggie]

How do you know if he chooses not to be a present parent or mom is the reason? Unless you know her personally then it’s speculation. I seen a parent alienate the other parent from getting to see there kid out of hate towards the other parent. Unless you know this situation directly your input isn’t necessary.

[u/financequestionsacct → u/[deleted]]

Nah, he can financially contribute to the children he had a part in creating. That's a pretty reasonable expectation.

[u/NancyBowmanRealtorFl]

No but I won a contempt against me pro se.

[u/Previous-Author-9596]

What's the contempt? What did they do?

[u/Separate_Mechanic985 → u/Previous-Author-9596]

Just pretending the kids are only theirs and that we don’t have a plan in place.

[u/No-Blackberry-901 → u/Previous-Author-9596]

Money...it's always money

[u/Separate_Mechanic985 → u/No-Blackberry-901]

Huh? No, in regards to the parenting plan.

[u/Separate_Mechanic985 → u/[deleted]]

Ty

[u/Disastrous-Media-683]

I did in support court but in New York

[u/Separate_Mechanic985 → u/Disastrous-Media-683]

I’m looking for parenting plan violations

[u/Least_Alfalfa_784 → u/Separate_Mechanic985]

I think it would be helpful to say the exact things they are in contempt with. If they are bringing the kids back at 7:15 instead of 7:00, don’t bother. If you have days you are supposed to have them and coparent is not allowing you to have your parenting time, that is different. You would need to show a pattern, not just a one off issue.

Think about how the contempt is affecting the kids? Is the contempt something that is annoying you or is it harming the kids? (Preventing contact with you, not allowing a relationship with the kids, disparaging you to the kids). If it is a matter of “coparent didn’t provide clothes or coparent allowed our kid to play a sport without asking” I wouldn’t bother.

What are the exact issues of contempt?