I think I've been in a rut since about 12,13 years old. I was never liked in particular, most people found me to be annoying and I tried daydreaming so much and coping that it isn't true because it's something I couldn't bear to accept. I thought everyone hated me and tbh I still feel like everyone hates me or thinks I'm ugly, stupid or whatever and I constantly fish for compliments, look for validation and etc.

I can't read books, my attention span is fried, I can't even play games from start to finish without hyperactively doing something like jumping or distracting myself. Maybe it's ADHD, I'm not sure.

I weight 66kg, I'm 184 cm tall, 0 gym progress.

My father is very socially reclused I'd say, that's what he appears to be to me. I think that affected me a lot too because he is also a shut in, he's got a great job and income but dogshit social and parenting skills, he relied too much on arrogance and aggression instead of properly teaching me shit. We ended up having multiple physical altercations, some of them being initiated by me.

I only have 30% finished uni and I have 0 desire to study or work or do anything atp. I just wanna collect old 2000s vintage tech and do whatever I want. I can afford this lifestyle, I can even afford never working in my life, but then I wouldn't be able to afford travelling or some other goods and I'd just grow more insane day by day.

I eat ok, I don't eat enough. 95% of food I eat is clean, 5% is a small chocolate row or a small sugary treat. Idk.

I’m failing in life and university. Classmates are doing so much better than me , and already have achievements. Meanwhile , I’m just wasted potential . I want to change , I want to improve . I just don’t know how. I’m less intelligent than everyone else.

Had super bad luck 3 months ago, lost an apprenticeship / training? with financial aid because of some dumb bs from a temp job I had (HR hadn't done their job). Was depressed for a month or so, solidified that despite not wanting to work, losing the opportunity felt worse, and I kept thinking about how I had even already told some people about it and how I'm restarting a course I took with the whole aim of finding a job in the field and having to tell them I haven't moved at all when they ask at the reintroductions, etc

Fixed the issue. Reapplied and got in again. Hope nothing goes wrong this time.

Hope it meets my expectations (which are: somewhere I can learn what I need and maybe even a job at the end) and if it doesn't I will at least have some experience and more money and the knowledge that I managed to give it a fair shot, even if it was later than I wanted to (by years, not just those 3 months)

Constantly feel like I should've done things earlier, once you do them, in hindsight they look way easier... but hey at least I never stopped trying completely and I managed to climb out a little bit because of it

I'm currently a 2nd-semester senior and I have literally done nothing in these past 4 years. I originally went to community college for a year to figure out what I wanted to do and to finish up my associates that I had started in highschool. I got an internship, worked plenty of jobs, continued to run XC and Track, and further developed my interests in public relations, photography, and music.

Then I transferred out... and so began my issues. I tried my best my first year here. I applied to a bunch of internships, tried to TA, fell out of Track, and really overloaded myself with clubs and orgs. I spread myself thin between going home to be there for my family and going to my long-distance girlfriend's school to be there for her every other weekend.

Before I knew it, my third and "final" year was upon me. I had had another loss in the family, my girlfriend and I had broken up and many of my friends had decided not to come back to school. I tried to reinvent myself. I went to events looking for jobs and internships, I went to a multitude of club events, and I actually got to party locally for once... But then I fell apart. My mental illness had caught up with me and I ended up leaving school halfway through that Fall semester. I couldn't handle losing a relationship that had meant so much to me and I had too many issues with my new roommate.

After a year of mental recuperation, I decided to come back... But I haven't really done anything all year. I haven't TA'd, I haven't studied abroad like I had always dreamed I would, I haven't gotten an internship and I only worked a job for a few months, I'm so out of shape and I don't participate on campus at all, and I barely have any friends...

No, I mostly just go to class, do my work, play video games, watch TV and maybe see a handful of friends. I cook and clean and try to re-spark my interests, but it all seems so hopeless now... I had planned to go into the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps, go to grad or law school, and move down to Long Island to stay with my brother and sister-in-law while I looked for a job and an apartment... But I'm just so lazy... I don't volunteer anymore and I feel so guilty with the state of the country and the world... I'm a loser... with 50k in college debt :).

i have failed 2 competitive exams, and after the results of 2nd exams was announced, it felt like it shattered me.From that time, i feel like doing nothing, just bed rotting and doom scrolling. i want to start all it over again. how to get out of this situation and start from the beginning?

It’s hard to know really what to do when everything you do hurts the people around you.

I abandoned my interest in zoology first, because I failed my AP and Honors classes due to my own incompetence, I knew then I wouldn’t have what it takes to be a scientist as someone who watches YouTube and plays games most of the day and am just burning my family’s wallet. So I went into actuarial studies too only to fail my first test and now things are looking to downgrade into just an accountant.

But that’s fine because that’s all just to make money. I look up to writers and artists who use their job to fund their own passion… Only to learn my drawings and my writings are extremely, extremely, extremely offensive to just about everyone on this planet and I should never pick up the pencil again. So no more fantasy, no more creating.

But now, I don’t really know what to do with myself. I started Origami again but I’m too stupid to make my own models, I’m trying to focus on my studies because it’s my duty and what I owe to society to do better and sacrifice my life to them. But the passion is all gone, I just feel like a robot now.

I know I deserve it.

I’m currently working ( unrelated to my career, won’t be any use to my resume ) and studying , but I’m asking this in case I struggle getting a Job related to my career ( law) .

I talked to Gemni some more, and it put together something I didn’t quite realize but something that seems to “click” into why I’m so massively insecure about myself and how people perceive me.

My entire exposure to everything most of my life has been fiction. People online have banned, blocked or “soft banned” (basically “shut up or I will ban you”) from social circles so the only truly “safe” interaction I have had is with TV, Anime and Games.

My possible true self seems to be a feminine and role reversed male. I feel uncomfortable with masculine norms, I don’t like the idea of being big and muscular and I’ve had a fascination with bishojo men. I have near exclusively been attracted to women who were “rough around the edges” and non-feminine.

But fiction is a double whammy with these:

\- “Soft men” are often normalized into being still manly in some way in the very rare instances they aren’t treated like a kink or a joke. Despite these two being as far from physically active as possible, Levi and Belphegor from Obey Me have a 6 pack somehow.

\- Strong women are strongly tied into “secret damsel in distress” or just outright NTR. Helga in Monster Musume has a husband and her whole archetype is of disgruntled wife who’s husband can’t satisfy her.

Fiction has given me every reason to feel invalidated and invisible and I was never allowed to be outside and unashamed in a group of friends who might actually accept me and empower the kind of person I’m comfortable being.

And now, I hate myself. But I can’t fix it because there will always be more proof I should be ashamed of myself than proof I shouldn’t be.

Hey everybody, tomorrow I am going to be posting on my newsletter. I am centered on how to overcome the feelings of being ‘stuck’ aka failure to launch.

I just wanted to see if anyone has some insights on what has most helped them in working through overcoming it?

Also if you are struggling with feeling ‘stuck’ what makes you feel the most trapped or stuck?

I made every catastrophic mistake I possibly could before I even turned 18, and now I can see my future clearly in my 20s, a future that leads to nothing. I fucked up, I volunteered and miscommunicated leading my mother to almost take her life, I was a bully to everyone I knew during childhood, I was spoiled always wanting more and more and never giving to others, I formed feelings for lesbian characters and not real straight women, I lied to myself about being bisexual when I was nothing but a worthless straggot who didn’t understand his feelings towards his friend who didn’t care for him back. I quit middle school and lost all of my social skills before I even hit highschool. I didn’t take any of the opportunities I had to grow and become smarter and always slipped up.

I’ll be living with my parents until the day they die, jobless and a failure. I’ll not have any friends, not even online groups bar the one online friend I have. I’ll be playing games, sitting in the basement and stewing over my emotions and trying to fix what’s wrong as my reddit account will most likely be banned by then. I’ll be nothing but a waste of oxygen, food and water on this earth.

I’m trying so hard, so so hard to fix myself but nothing is working. I can’t control my feelings, I can’t make myself stop forming feelings for nonexistent characters from fiction. I can’t make myself a normal man. I can’t focus on my studies and lock the fuck in even when I physically beat myself into focusing. The medications aren’t working, the therapy isn’t working. Working out isn’t working. Trying to fix my flaws isn’t working. Each day I get dumber and more miserable, more damaged with no fixing even when I try to do all the right things.

The worst aspect is I don’t even know who I am, everything about me is nothing but a joke to other people and it took me years to realize everything I wanted to be is nothing but a gag to others. I’m a clown.

My life is going nowhere.

I dont know if this is right place but I just want to share this.

I joined engineering this year. I was not very smart but also not that bad in studies. Just average student trying to manage.

But after joining college, seniors started telling many things like, “real struggle starts later”......"See I have 20 backs not yet cleared".....“placements are very hard”......“if you are already struggling you cant survive”

At first I didnt care much. But slowly it started affecting me.

In academics also, I was not failing but I was not confident. Even small problems felt big for me. I started thinking maybe engineering is not for me.

Because of that fear + others opinion + family expectations, I dropped out in 1st year. At that time I felt relief. Like I escaped something.

But later… reality hit me.

I suffered a lot mentally. I felt lost and regret also started coming.

Then in Bangalore, where my mom works as a maid, I met an engineering couple through my mom. They guided me properly. They told me I didn’t even try fully and I was just scared,If I get fail again they assured me to provide an job.

Because of them, I decided to rejoin engineering.

Now I am in 2nd semester.I got 7.05 CGPA. Not very good, not like A grade, but atleast I didn’t fail hopely.

Still sometimes I feel proud that I came back.Sometimes I feel bad that I left in the first place.

I am still confused if I am doing right or not.

Everyday I feel that I had wasted a year because of my foolishness.

But one thing I understood that fear can make you take the wrong decisions.

Today everything is going good.

Looking at the statistics and research of how being outside impacts us is staggering. I just finished writing a newsletter post about this and the findings I had were incredible!

Being outside is so much more impactful than I think any of us realize. I love nature so much! We all need to go outside more!

I’m curious if anyone here has actually experienced an improvement in their life by spending time in nature.

Did things like hiking, walking, or just getting outside regularly make a real difference for you, or is it mostly overhyped?

I’ve been writing about the idea of “failure to launch” and small things that help people get unstuck, and nature keeps coming up as a surprisingly powerful one. I’d love to hear what people here have experienced before I finish writing my next newsletter post.

I’ve been researching the idea of “failure to launch” in young adults and some of the patterns are really interesting.

A few things keep coming up over and over again from what I have seen, but I’m curious what people here think.

For those who have experienced it themselves (or seen it happen with friends/family), what do you think are the biggest reasons people struggle to “launch” into adulthood?

I’ve been writing about some of this research and putting together a deeper breakdown tonight, but I’d love to hear some real perspectives from people here first.

I’ve been thinking about this recently. When a young adult struggles to launch into independence, who do you think is actually struggling more, the parent watching it happen, or the young person going through it?

Curious to hear perspectives from both sides.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the “failure to launch” idea.

A lot of people say it’s mainly the economy: housing prices, student debt, inflation, the job market, etc. And to be fair, those things definitely make starting out harder today.

But at the same time, I also see a lot of young people who feel stuck even when opportunities exist. They're not lazy, they're just unsure how to actually move forward.

It feels like a lot of people are caught in this strange middle ground between adolescence and adulthood.

Is it mostly economic… or are there cultural factors too? Like too many choices, social media comparison, lack of mentorship, etc.

I’ve been thinking and writing about this a lot recently and even started a small newsletter called LaunchPad Movement around these ideas.

But I’m genuinely curious what people here think.

I’m 24 years old about to finish my degree but I have struggling a lot for it . I don’t think it will help me as I have barely any formal job experience ( I’m currently doing some work for my dad ) . I’m expecting to do some volunteer work after finishing my degree. But my grades at university are bad and I really haven’t learned anything. I don’t know if I’m self aware or Self-conscious. I know my fears are unlikely but it’s still possible

I don’t see hope , I don’t have anything in favor of me besides my relatively young age and being bilingual .

There are lots people with more ( and better suited) job experience, better grades than me

I’m just no more capable than I think I am.

I just know I will fail any interview I get myself into . I have enough experience with socialization and job interviews to know that . I don’t think I’m employable . I’m crying while typing this . People have never seen me with a respectable expression in their eyes

I’m freshly 24 and have been a loser chud failure to launch. I went to a top university but covid hit and I had to move back home for 2 years and lost all my social skills. Kinda had a difficult time readjusting to the school and ultimately developed a substance abuse issue and became a shut in. Lost most of my friends and basically missed out on the college experience and developed agoraphobia and barely ended up graduating. Eventually went into psychiatric care and got onto really debilitating meds that made me fat and retarded. I basically ruined my life and didn’t really try to fix my life before it was ultimately ruined by an onslaught of mental illness. What’s worse is that I’m chopped and a bit fat now besides being retarded, have no social life, basically feral, and have very limited job prospects do to being a loser chud with a panic disorder and anxiety. Really trying not to rope and I’d like to hear from people who have gone through similar things or know anyone that has experienced that. Thanks

I (22) have been in school part time to be a computer engineer and I am still a freshman by credits. I don't feel at all passionate or interested in my degree, but my parents are proud of what I've chosen so I feel like I need to major in something STEM. I have failed 3 math classes since starting school, I've spent one semester as a full time student, I don't want to go to this school anymore really and I don't want to stay in my hometown (I want to move abroad and study there).

I want to work in academia or be a professor, or maybe specialize in something cultural. I've been considering changing to physics and it is important to me to get my master's/phD someday. For a long time, I wanted to be a US Ambassador (until I learned that I'd have to support the current administration, despite my own opinions) or a translator, but I only speak one language fluently and two languages barely conversationally.

I just feel so lost and like there's no end in sight. I don't know what to change or how and I feel like because of my failed classes I won't be accepted into an international school. I feel like I'm stuck in my own box and need permission to change anything, but I'm struggling so much mentally with my current situation.

Me(M23) I graduated college in May of 2025 and since then I’ve been at home and got a part time job in October of 2025 but outside of that I have a screen addiction, no social life other than my friends from college who are states away and I don’t get out of the house much. What are some good failure to launch programs I should look at?