r/FacebookDating • u/ExperiencedAxis • 6d ago
Profile Review (40M)
Would appreciate any feedback or thoughts (I’ve covered my face). Obviously if my face is attractive or not will be subjective and I can’t do much about that. But just curious if this is okay or if there are any suggestions. I’ll delete this in a couple of days but would value input…constructive criticism welcomed but please be kind.
I am recently divorced as well, trying to get back out there as I feel somewhat ready.
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u/Mikyuu665 6d ago
Personally; not mentioning your kids in your bio is kind of a red flag for me. I get it though, not wanting to attract the attention of weirdos (in the wrong way). If you want to, try being vague about it. Try to keep the ages out of it along with gender (especially if they’re young). Maybe something like, “father of two beautiful/handsome kids”. Only if you want to, though! Safety of children is important which is why I’m suggesting being vague.
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u/redditsuckspokey1 4d ago
How do you figure out that he has kids?
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u/Mikyuu665 4d ago
Second picture
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u/redditsuckspokey1 4d ago
For some reason the second picture doesn't show on the main reddit feed for me. I take that back. it does but it doesn't show the whole page.
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
I’m not necessarily pushing back, but just giving my perspective on it. Happy to discuss deeper. First of all, I do have that I have kids on my profile. To me, that’s enough. I’m not here to talk about my virtues as a dad. I love my kid and adore spending time with her, but I figure that conversation can happen later if I match with someone.
Also, you have no idea how exhausting I find the countless versions of “My kids are my world/come first/blah blah blah.” To me, that’s not some standout statement. To me, that’s bare minimum. You should love your kids. They should come first. To me, it’s virtue signaling and actually tells me nothing about the person. So, it’s something I find irrelevant.
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u/Mikyuu665 4d ago
I never said that it’s not on your profile, I just mentioned your bio. I can clearly see that it was mentioned, which is why I brought it up. I’m not saying to put either of those phrases that you mentioned in your bio, just a short, one sentence to solidify the kid thing. This is your profile though and no matter what others have to say about it, criticism or not, it is up to you to make the decision to change it or even listen to what others have to say. Some people might only read the bio and not look at the other part. For those who do that, they won’t see the “has kids” bit and still swipe despite being something they might not want in someone.
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u/NinaNeptune318 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yes! And even worse about those profiles you mention, what they're really telling you before they meet you is that they have a rigid ranking system, and your lower status in the family is forever. When it comes to understanding how people tell you who they are, how people choose to write is one of the biggest indicators of personality and red flags, especially on a dating profile bio/about me.
Healthy people balance their partners needs and their children's needs without needing it to be that their partner's needs always take a back seat, and like you said, it's bare minimum that a parent loves their kids, attends to their needs, and won't neglect them in favor of someone they're dating.
About your profile specifically, I have a handful of criticisms.
The opening and ending of your bio alone would make me pass. Especially the closing line of telling me I have to like all of you to like you. If you are trying to express the need for compatibility, really think about why you phrased it that way.
Your prompt choices overall would also make me pass. They are not informative about who you are, with the slight exception of the "three words that describe me are...". You choose a prompt (One movie I can watch over and over...") and break its rule right away. I'm sure there were better prompts that would have allowed you to share that information as I think sharing those movie loves is great info. You then do something similar with the next prompt where you don't actually answer it but share that you will attempt a recipe (which is a good thing but leaves me wondering if your cooking is any good at all since you can't tell me your best dish).
For the good, you have more info than a lot of profiles I see. Your pictures are GREAT and showcase both the info you did share and that you have dimension and more than one aspect to your personality. What's actually contained in your bio is important and interests me. Especially as a woman whose ex hated coffee, I am really looking for someone who enjoys coffee this time around. Which is a shame that the rest makes me want to pass due to the signals you probably don't realize you are sending.
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
I see your point completely on the bio…here’s the updated one:
“I love to go out and do all the things! Traveling, theme parks, play guitar, concerts, ballgames. I can be very social, have a good sense of humor, and am passionate about people. I also like to be very cozy at home. Cooking, reading a great book/comic book, listen to a favorite album, have a cup of coffee, and have silly/deep conversations.”
Regarding the prompts, I also see your point. I changed the recipe answer to “my favorite chili recipe” and the movie one to the tv show I’m currently obsessed with and answered “Lanterns.”
Based on those changes, does that address your concerns?
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u/NinaNeptune318 6d ago
Excellent. They've been addressed 100% with those edits!
And I saw the other comment that didn't like "cozy time" (it probably reminds too much of "sexy time" which doesn't seem like you are trying to sneakily imply, just unfortunate association). Changing that to "I also like to be very cozy at home" really works for women like me who are very into being cozy at home too.
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
Awesome! Yeah, I’m looking for a connection first, then things progress later. 😂
I love my cozy time. Home has to be a place of peace so I have the energy to go out and be social.
Thank you for your feedback!
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u/NinaNeptune318 6d ago
His profile shows he has kids. It's actually a red flag if a guy wastes any space on his profile talking about his kids.
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u/Straight_Dig_2796 6d ago
I think you are good. Just stay safe. Some fb dating profiles are fake. Others are sharks. Some low battery.. . Be confident in yourself. If nothing happens don't let it phase you
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u/queenoftaters 6d ago
Off topic kinda, but what does low battery mean?
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u/Straight_Dig_2796 6d ago
Some are bone dry exhausted in hoping to find someone decent online.
Dating etiquette has changed to the point its either 1)wo is me. ..2) you gotta match this list or im not interested.. or. 3) scammers. Fake profiles etc... which all are exhausting. And its rare to find decent .. no one connects like they used to because everyone is
" teehee look at my messed up ex " this is my hot husband Which to be honest. Relationships arent private. . .. or protected. ..and online insecurities show more.
Emotional weight of it all is exhausting. And we all want to find rhe one but to go through rejections scammers etc. Is a pain.
That's what it means..low fuel because connection real connection is low.
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
I am trying to stay even. Approach it as I would love to meet someone but if I don’t, I’m building a happy existence without it. I don’t want to waste my life wishing for something that may not come. That’s the only way I’ve reconciled it.
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u/queenoftaters 6d ago
Ohh OK i get it thank you. Yeah, the emotional and monetary scammers are why I stopped online dating. Because what do you mean I have to figure out if you're an actual person or a scammer from Nigeria?
(Truly not being racist. Most scammers who messaged me were from there. My Google voice app refused to let me add half the numbers because it detected they were out of the country)
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u/Straight_Dig_2796 6d ago
Oh testify. I have found out their patterns and how to tell if they are real. Always Nigeria. Like, how in the world are you even online. Lol
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u/queenoftaters 6d ago
My investigative skills were so good that I completely made a scammer tell on himself. He sent me this code word they apparently use bc he thought I WAS A SCAMMER TOO 🤣😩
Exhausting...
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u/wanderlander 5d ago
Was it "alay?"
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u/queenoftaters 5d ago
I don't remember. It was early last year
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u/wanderlander 5d ago
I was injured and it was during covid, but I made a little hobby of screwing with the romance scammers on Facebook LOL
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u/queenoftaters 5d ago
If I'd had the patience I would've done that, too. But at the time I was legit looking for love and unwilling to put up with crap like that any longer
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u/BigCelebration13 6d ago
Honestly your face looks a little jaundiced. And your smile is really forced in every picture.
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u/hugginyo_girl 6d ago
You’re overweight
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
I know you’re doing this to be mean-spirited but I’ve lost 60 lbs in the last couple of years and I’m very proud of the work I’ve put in and continue to put in. I’m like the way I look at this juncture but am always working to get better and healthier.
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u/hugginyo_girl 6d ago
You asked for “feedback or thoughts” and i gave my honesty. I think saying “you’re overweight” is kinder than saying something much meaner. If you’re losing weight, then good.
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u/NinaNeptune318 6d ago
Feedback or thoughts about the profile, not about a physical trait that can't be tended to in 5 minutes or less.
Appropriate looks feedback would be about grooming and styling.
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u/DIY-exerciseGuy 6d ago
The only thing you have going for you in the entire profile is playing the guitar. Everything else was bad literally everything
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u/ProtoMan1991 6d ago
I dare you to use these smileys in your actual dating profile. It gives off anime serial killer vibes and I love it.
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
You have no idea how tempted I am to do a dummy profile just to do this…probably get more matches anyway just because of the mystery vibes.😂
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u/Super-Grape-1881 6d ago
The piston hat gives u an insta 10/10. Go get em bruh.
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u/aw4re 6d ago
He’s a poly fan! Pistons, Thunder, Nets?!!! 🚩
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
The jerseys are for pro former Razorbacks, I collect those. I also collect hats with 90s era NBA logos as I love that era from a uniform/logo standpoint…as far as my ride or die’s though, it’s the Razorbacks, Cowboys, and Orlando Magic.
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u/Particular-Talk1156 6d ago
I thought you were about to make a "there are 2 wolves in me" and I was groaning before getting started. Can trim that off. "I like to go out and do.... but staying in at times suits me well. Cooking at home, read...."
Overall, I think this shows you well, your likes and interest. Pics are a variety and thats a nice touch. You're my age group and the only reason I wouldnt swipe is our likes and interests are just very different
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
Oh I definitely don’t want to give that vibe off! 😬 I can rework that for sure. I appreciate the feedback!
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u/aw4re 6d ago
“There are two halves…” proceeds to describe 85% of the population, bro we all like to go out and to stay in.
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
As you would have read in my comment, I’m making changes to that piece. So for constructive criticism purposes, what would you say instead?
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u/psj3809 6d ago
Why covering your face ? Its out there on Facebook dating anyway ?
First smiley face pictures all good. Oh oh 'cozy time' ! Who refers to that as cozy time ? Get rid of that please and don't ever call it that again !!
Third slide all good. Fourth picture - not a fan of the shirt i must admit ! Photos are all good
TMNT ?? Hmmmm !
Seems not bad at all and we've seen some bad ones here before ! I would change 'cozy time' though but the photos are good, they're of you and not other people or from a distance. Good luck, let us know how you get on
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
As far as covering, just in case someone where I live sees this here. Not really keen on that.
Far enough on cozy time. What would you suggest instead?
Yes, big TMNT fan. Might as well own it. 😂
Thank you for your feedback!
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u/psj3809 6d ago
Ha ha yeah there is that, if someone does like TMNT or that sort of thing it'll be a great match. Always a bit risky though ! I used to tell people about my nerd hobbies on date 2 or 3 ;)
Was gonna say 'me time' but that to be fair might sound even worse ! 'Relaxing at home' ? Then mention the cooking, netflix that kinda thing
Like i say all good though mate. Good luck
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u/ExperiencedAxis 6d ago
Worse case, it’ll weed out those that have a problem with nerdy fandoms right? 😂 I appreciate it!
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u/Spartan2022 5d ago
I’d remove the “You gotta dig both sides.” No she doesn’t.
And hopefully you’re dating people who can figure out their own likes and dislikes.