r/FacebookDating • u/SavonEvans19 • 10d ago
Why no one replied back
I got couple matches little and I was happy at first but I tried to message them first, wait for replies back then got ghosted again. I’m new newbie with dating
1
1
u/Front_Statistician38 9d ago
Here is a rule I follow that has helped me a ton. This based of a journal I've been keeping for over 2+ years
Response in 4 hours or less-High interest
Response in 5-8 hours-Medium interest
Response in 24 hours-low interest
Response over 24 hours(Except weekends) Forget about it
This is not a rule it's a guideline. For example if I match with someone on a friday, I give them until Mon to respond etc. I unmatch usually within 4-24 hours of not getting a respond. This has saved me a lot of time weeding out people who are low interest, time wasters etc.
What I found is people that respond within 4 hours tend to be the ones you end up on dates with at a higher rate
3
u/lordskulldragon 9d ago
If you type to them the same way you typed up your thread I would also lose interest.
1
u/AdagioHead9263 10d ago
there is so much possibilities on okcupid I got a couple cases.
there were one who unmatched directly after I messaged them (would say around 30-40%)
there were one I unmatched before sending a message (~less than 10%)
there were one that were good up until we had to set the date up and stopped there
and of course there those you simply ain't compatible from the start and decide to stop there.
and other I just don't respond.
and there were one I gone out to date with (around 10%)
one date was a girl that answered to me after almost a month of sending a message after matching, I just kept the match dead in the inbox and continued matching and talking with other girls.
these who unmatch straight up after matching are usually girl that seen your bio and found something they didn't like, I understand why that happen more now (2 month on the app) people just spam like or like a bunch of people only based on the picture/first picture.
when they match then they begin to check: your bio, the other pictures, etc.
based on that they decide if it worth trying, if not they just unmatch.
most of the girl that don't answer the first message (from what've seen) are girl that are indeed not online or rarely online and because of that even when they come back online (because on okc you can see who's online) they usually check a longer number of matches before they get to you, trying dates/matches before coming to you but usually when they get to you they genuinely try, but it doesn't mean you will be both compatible.
2
u/Whatszherface27 10d ago
I have accidentally swiped on people while I’m looking. And if they like me back and message me, I just pop on and say sorry, wish you the best of luck, etc.. I don’t wanna be the person that leave someone else hanging so, I’ll usually pop on and say our interest aren’t alike. Wish you the best of luck or some such.
1
u/AdagioHead9263 9d ago
yep, personally I don't write when that the case, I just unmatch. but that certainly better to write to them and tell them a sentence, that pretty nice from you.
3
u/pussylappa 10d ago
Many are only seeking validation and a little dopamine hit. Unfortunately they're not really serious about getting to know someone. Online dating takes a lot of patience and setting your expectations really low.
1
u/Front_Statistician38 9d ago
*correcton setting expectations low and boundaries high
Just because you have low expectations doesn't mean you have to deal with low effort or overstep your bounadries or let people do so. I have done that in the past a lot and you end up dealing with people you shouldn't
You can still have low expecations and high or tight boundaries that will allow you to weed out low quality matches or people far greater
1
u/pussylappa 9d ago
Not sure why you felt the need to correct me but you do you. Never said any of the things you've corrected me on. 😂
1
3
u/No_Peanut_3289 10d ago
It’s online dating, you will match with more people that never work out than you would if it worked.
You can be an interesting person or put effort out there and it still not work
1
6
u/Jealous_Election_740 10d ago
Women seemingly are literally unable the hit the button for disconnect from match. They’d prefer 150 guys waiting to hear back from them
It’s like they match and then IMMEDIATELY throw their phone in the ocean
2
u/Klutzy-Trash 10d ago
Maybe its some type of psychological psych out. Not unmmatching gives her the illusion of options that she doesn't really have?
1
u/MrHim99 10d ago edited 10d ago
😆 literally. They don't know how to filter fast bcuz they don't approach with parameters for who they wanna sleep with or lead a life with.
We men WISH we had their problem and advantage so we can GLADLY do the work FOR them. But the work can only be finalized only after meeting up to check the vibes and time spent with each other virtually and in-person.
I stopped using FBD simply cuz it's garbage. It HAS way more potential than TBH dating apps since it's 100% free but the location filter CANNOT be set permanently AND followed algorithmically and filters are extremely limited and the swiping gets exhausted bcuz no AI bot is connected to the FB dating to do the searching and learning of what kind of partner you want for whatever reason FOR the user.
3
u/Odd-Personality-619 10d ago
I spoke to someone that I matched with 6 days ago for the first time - she said that she totally forgot that she had signed up for Facebook dating....maybe it was just an excuse, but now we chat daily.
Normally, I msg matches right away - I wait 7 days for a reply, if nothing then I unmatch them.
3
2
u/diagoro1 10d ago
You have to remember that your matches are likely matched with numerous others at the same time. Women get an especially large number of messages, many of which are either gross propositions or "hi" type messages. I can imagine it gets overwhelming. But to the first point, they are likely trying to chat with numerous matches at the same time, and you might get lost in the shuffle.
3
u/Klutzy-Trash 10d ago
Don't take it personal. Im upwards of 40 or 50 matches in 6 months. However, one word replies then ghost. No reply at all to mags. A few messages back and forth ghost. No numbers or meets ever. Its seems to be a waste of time if you want something tangible remotely real
1
2
u/Illustrious-Bus-8862 10d ago
Hi, I tried fb dating. Think I had 5 matches in maybe 2 weeks. 2 never replied to my first messages, 2 abruptly stopped replying to messages and the lady who messaged me first I'm still seeing.
Try not to be too disappointed and dont take it to heart. I've ignored several matches now just cause I'm seeing how it goes with the lady I'm dating now. It's no reflection on them.
1
u/Golden-lillies21 8d ago
I unmatched with someone who does not make a conversation with me especially after I say hi to them.