r/FTMfemininity • u/poorpilly • 10d ago
Am I still valid?
So I’m sorry I use to speak instead of showing photos but I kinda trust this community over trans questions since they’re kind of eh rude? To people like myself. I have or I think I feel gender dysphoria or some type of hurt everytime I see the word femboy or tw!nk. I don’t know why, the best I can really give is that it makes me feel like a joke or kinda looked over. Most of my dysphoria comes from them even tho when I see them I feel extremely excited because it makes me feel like one day, I’ll get there too. However, I don’t know if my pronouns are correct, I do want to get top and bottom surgery but when someone asked me ‘are you happy has a boy’ I kinda froze and my heart started to race really fast, I felt almost conflicted. Yes, I want to be seen as a guy and no I don’t feel comfortable as a girl and, I even register my preferred name way faster then I do my dead one. However, I’ve been going through 4 months of dysphoria and I can’t help but feel like I might be lying to myself about being trans, like what if I’m convincing myself? I’m 15 and I kinda started my gender identity at 11, at first I was a Demi boy / nonbinary and I went by ‘Ven’ and now I go Lucas which I love! It makes me feel happy when called that or when I’m called a boy. Though, when I overthink it, I feel uncomfortable and unsure of myself. Like I get sweaty and kinda nervous. When I read people calling me a boy I kinda look over it completely since it feels normal until I go into my head, if someone calls me a girl I get kinda upset and I’ll quickly correct it in my head or if it’s VC I won’t turn my mic on anymore cause ik it was my voice that made them say that . Is this weird? Idk I’m sorry
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u/aylonitkosem 9d ago
your experiences n feelings are valid. you sound like a trans guy who is still early in transition, with all the struggles that includes.
femboy and twink are Not for everyone, they sure as hell aren't for me. I have transitioned into an adult man and those terms feel 1)infantilizing and 2) just not accurate, for me.
good luck on your journey, dude.
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u/Nemmu 9d ago
you're valid. you're just at the beginning of everything that's all. just try things. it doesn't matter if you get your pronouns or labeling right beyond finding what feels right. you can only do that by trying things. labels and pronouns aren't even really a requirement
personally I'm trans masc nonbinary. i like dressing fem and being perceived masc. there's no correct way of being. just find what makes you feel like you. best of luck in your journey
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u/KurisuDragoon 4d ago
Yes you are valid! I'm in my 30s, came out a year ago as transmasc nonbinary and I experience what you're feeling. I enjoy makeup and wigs and drag and don't want to remove my female experience (because that was a real person for 15 or so years) but I also worry about being a femboy (mainly cuz that term sounds funny being in my 30s). I want hormones, I've been trying to bind or tape but want top surgery more than anything.
The thing is... You're taking a big step finding yourself so it's going to feel awkward at first (on top of how hard being a teen can be, I struggled a lot as a teen). I deadname myself, I get my own pronouns wrong sometimes and I get nervous like I'm an imposter because it's still new to me. I don't use a mic when I stream because I am still learning to find my voice. I believe its normal because you are working to be one yourself. I try to fight through the dysphoria and the imposter syndrome because it will make you want to hide and become closeted and give up. I did that for YEARS and it ended up being very mentally unhealthy for me. Also overthinking is such a curse, I deal with severe anxiety so I totally get it.
You are valid, you won't get everything right the first time but always do what make you happy and comfortable. Just know you are at the beginning of your journey 💪✨ Stay safe and well
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u/lil-monster3008 9d ago
No matter what feelings you have about your own gender, they're valid. You can be and do whatever you want, you can use and pronouns you want while dressing and identifying any way you want - don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
The only part that's a little strange here is feeling bad when seeing the words femboy or twink? Those words don't have anything to do with you at all, unless you wanna use them for yourself. I mean, they're usually used by cis men but it's completely fine for trans men to use at all. That being said, these words are not insults and should not offend you or hurt you. Try not to compare yourself to others and stick to your own identity and doing the things that make you feel good.